ANDREAS presents: STAR WARS - Episode I - The Ancient Lore [TPM Remade]

[Andreas]

Looking good! 

My feedback:

• From 1:04 there is a noticeable hiss during palatines dialogue. I'm assuming this is from turning up the volume. Can anything be done about that?
• 1:30 - it would be great to have another burst of Maul battle during the line " I was not elected to watch my people suffer and die etc..."
• Back to the forum at 1:38ish 
• Then back to where you currently have a clip works just fine.
• I would end the darth maul footage at 2:22. It's a good shot, and at the moment the close up of his face at 2:23 is my only qualm with the way you've used the footage here.
• Establishing shot at 2:27 just needs to be a fraction longer.

As Zamros says, it's very almost there.

Edit: Happy to see Zamros' suggestion on the last shot of Maul as well. Could help.

Excellent feedback once again!
- Your first qualm; yes. Audio is my speciality. I will fix whatever that is.
- As for your second point, I actually thought about adding Trade Federation ships destryoing the woods on the planet of Naboo upon that line from the Queen, but I thought switching between three scenes in such a short span would be confusing and/or distracting. However, adding some more battle would definitely work on that line - HOWEVER - there is no more footage to work with, unfortunately. So I think those three clips is all we can have during this scene. But maybe I can try adding clip 2 after that paticular line? I'll see how that works out. Or, I could re-create what would seem like a new, 2-second of batteling on that line with the existing footage, and then have 4 entries during the Senate Hearing. Tell me what you think.
- As for the Darth Maul closeup that you don't like - I can fully understand that. However, I do actually happen to not have a problem with it - but I do see where you're coming from. I'll try Zamros' idea of the highlighted yellow eyes and maybe a little less focus and a little bit more shadow on the closeup and see if that does not do the magic.

Cheers again, brother!

 

[Canon Editor]

I like the first clip.  The two closeups of Windu’s face are very quick and should either be truncated completely or lengthened, especially the first one.  
The second clip works too.  I like the added score.  It gives an gravitas much needed.  Nonetheless, I feel that in both the second and third clip the lighting of the fan film is too different from the one of Episode I… some more colour tweaking might be needed.  

The third clip is probably the one that needs the most work, as Yoda’s reaction is almost unnoticeable, whereas the audio and video cuts should keep the pacing up a bit more.

 

[The Scribbling Man]

- As for your second point, I actually thought about adding Trade Federation ships destryoing the woods on the planet of Naboo upon that line from the Queen, but I thought switching between three scenes in such a short span would be confusing and/or distracting. 

That would have been cool! But you're probably right 

there is no more footage to work with, unfortunately. So I think those three clips is all we can have during this scene. 

I was thinking you could maybe split one of the longer clips in two? 

But maybe I can try adding clip 2 after that paticular line? I'll see how that works out. 

I think that would probably be leaving it too long. It works well where it is currently. 

Or, I could re-create what would seem like a new, 2-second of batteling on that line with the existing footage, and then have 4 entries during the Senate Hearing. Tell me what you think.

Worth a try!

Thanks for being so open to feedback btw. I know an edit like this must be one heck of a headache! Make sure you celebrate well once it's finished 

 

[Canon Editor]

Sorry, I just got around to watch the other two updates.  Both are good.   There are two things I would work on, the firt you surely know already.   In the council scene, the audio transition from “Across the Stars” to the other theme is almost there but not smooth enough.  
More importantly, I believe, in the senate scene, having the cut from Palpatine and Amidala’s shot to the establishing shot of Naboo happen while Palpatine is _beginning_ to move away from Queen Amidala is distracting to a careful eye.  Make the cut a fraction earlier and it will work!  Keep up the wonderful, wonderful, wonderful work!

 

[Nic]

- As of distrusing Qui-Gon, I kind of disagree. I think he distrusts the situation that Qui-Gon presents, so in a sense he does distrust Qui-Gon's feelings towards Anakin and wanting to train him, but not necessarily the character of Qui-Gon. Qui-Gon is also known to be a sort of Jedi rebel which we learn later on, as well as the fact that he's a master not on the Council. The fact that he doesn't have Windu's full respect or trust serves the plot, I think.

- I'm not sure if i understand this point. You think the transition doesn't work? Or the fact that you don't see the Sidious/Maul scene? Because it is in the movie, I just haven't included it in the preview.

Sorry if I was unclear in my critiques. What I meant was, since you're both crafting new scenes and a new context that frame those scenes, we won't really know how well they work until a total work print is made available.

As for the new clips, I like the extra addition of Valorum, though now I think the fan film footage is too dark, and may require fotage of droids knocking down trees to better sell the planet as Naboo. The scene of Yoda and Windu sending the Jedi on their mission is great, but there needs to be a more "Star Warsy" transition from the temple to outer space.

 

[CourtlyHades296]

I'd like for the Throne Room reprise to appear in the Episode 3 edit's credits.

 

[Andreas]

I like the first clip.  The two closeups of Windu’s face are very quick and should either be truncated completely or lengthened, especially the first one.  
The second clip works too.  I like the added score.  It gives an gravitas much needed.  Nonetheless, I feel that in both the second and third clip the lighting of the fan film is too different from the one of Episode I… some more colour tweaking might be needed.  

The third clip is probably the one that needs the most work, as Yoda’s reaction is almost unnoticeable, whereas the audio and video cuts should keep the pacing up a bit more.

Thank you for your feedback, brother. It will definitely come in handy.
I do agree that the Windu reaction shots might be a tad to short, I'll see what can be done. There wasn't much to work with from the onset, but I'll find a way.

Well, as far as the lightning in the fanfilm goes, I completely understand your concerns. As of right now I think all of us has come up with solutions that have made it far better, but there is absolutely room to try and improve it even more. I'll see what can be done. I have an idea already, which is to color grade the nighttime scenery into a subtly more Naboo-like green, as to create some more resemblence.

I do see your point. Someone else stated this on the previous page and I forgot to respond that; yes, it does indeed cut away a little to soon. This was because in the original footage Yoda is looking towards a person, but a little tweaking of the eyes and maybe I can make him look down instead and keep it at a greater length. If not, I'll just cut it after he opens his eyes or something.

Thank you for your support, feedback and ideas as always!

I was thinking you could maybe split one of the longer clips in two?

Why didn't I think of that. Always overthinking stuff on these edits, man. Good call!

Thanks for being so open to feedback btw. I know an edit like this must be one heck of a headache! Make sure you celebrate well once it's finished 

Glad you like that! I'll always be open to feedback. I seriously make this edit just as much for you guys as for me, so if i don't listen I will surely disappoint myself. I know that in the end I have the last say because it is my edit, but finding a great middle-way or beyond will only compliment the end product.

Headache, heartache, diarrhea... you name it.

Sorry, I just got around to watch the other two updates.  Both are good.   There are two things I would work on, the firt you surely know already.   In the council scene, the audio transition from “Across the Stars” to the other theme is almost there but not smooth enough.  
More importantly, I believe, in the senate scene, having the cut from Palpatine and Amidala’s shot to the establishing shot of Naboo happen while Palpatine is _beginning_ to move away from Queen Amidala is distracting to a careful eye.  Make the cut a fraction earlier and it will work!  Keep up the wonderful, wonderful, wonderful work!

Hey, Canon! Thanks for your feedback, brother!

- I am aware some audio transitions might feel a tad to short in these unfinished previews, but AtS soundtrack I actually thought worked transitioning into the other one. However, since this was not the case for you I can definitely smoothen it out a little. I think your problem might be audio levels changing? That is the only red flag i get when i listen closely. I'll see what i can do, cheers!
- I agree. Didn't even notice that myself before now. I should cut to the establishing shot just a tad quicker. Will be done.


You flatter me, my friend! Thank you and will do!

- As of distrusing Qui-Gon, I kind of disagree. I think he distrusts the situation that Qui-Gon presents (...)
- I'm not sure if i understand this point. You think the transition doesn't work? Or the fact that you don't see the Sidious/Maul scene? Because it is in the movie, I just haven't included it in the preview.

Sorry if I was unclear in my critiques. What I meant was, since you're both crafting new scenes and a new context that frame those scenes, we won't really know how well they work until a total work print is made available.

As for the new clips, I like the extra addition of Valorum, though now I think the fan film footage is too dark, and may require fotage of droids knocking down trees to better sell the planet as Naboo. The scene of Yoda and Windu sending the Jedi on their mission is great, but there needs to be a more "Star Warsy" transition from the temple to outer space.

Absolutely no worries. 

This is indeed true. That is why there will be previews of the full product before release for a selected two or three people, due to the massive overhaul of the movie. Your concerns are valid, and I do indeed see your point. In the end it will be you guy's opinions that matter, and I can only hope my ideas and execution has transfered well and that it is a product narratively and tonally superior to the original.

- You just love giving me work, huh? Droids cutting down trees? Oh my! Well, I won't be able to pull most of that of with the fan footage. But if people - and I will need some people - think this is necessary to sell that it is Naboo, I can create a second establishing shot after the Naboo Planet one. Show some forest, with some battle ships in the distance and some engine sounds. I could also, for simplicity, just add a couple of engine sounds and falling trees in the distance during the fanfilm-duel footage to sell that Naboo is still being overrun by the powers of the Federation. Have in mind that we've seen the planet of Naboo about 3-4 times before the second act in which these scenes take place, so it should be familiar to the audience.
So, here's a vote:
a) It is not really necessary. We've seen the planet of Naboo many times up to this point, and I buy that it is Naboo.
b) Kind of going with a), but maybe add (subtly) some engine sounds in the distance and some falling trees.
c) Create a second establishing shot in the Naboo forest, with some Trade Federation-y things going on in the distance.

I, personally, don't feel like I need this. Having seen Naboo so many times during the first act, the very earth-like blue atmosphere and the rain forests, I think the audience will understand that it is Naboo. But - if many people don't feel that way, I am definitely open for adding b) or c) to the current scenes.

- As for the transition I completely see where you're coming from. I like cuts, and I'm not actually overly fan of the wipes (i know, shoot me SW fans!), so I only keep a couple that I feel serve the imagery or the tone of a scene. And this paticular cut i felt fit due to the increasing tension of the situation. I can go ahead and try a wipe into space to smoothen the transition out. I think it could work well.

Thank you, brother!

I'd like for the Throne Room reprise to appear in the Episode 3 edit's credits.

I'm not following you...

 

[The Scribbling Man]

I honestly think I would have to see the film in context to know whether it might need the establishing shot of Naboo or not. However, I don't think adding sound effects in the distance would do any harm, so I'm wavering on B. But then again in the original Phantom Menace ( not that it should ever be used as an example of how to make a movie) Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan and jar jar are all right in the midst of machines cutting down trees at the beginning of the film, and soon after Qui Gon saves Jar jars life, there is absolute silence during the scene (despite the whole "that is the sound of a thousand terrible things" line).

So I guess I'm a sorta wavering between A and B - an "agnostic" B, if you will. 

Reveal message

"Agnostic Bee" 

 

 

[Zamros]

I think A is enough tbh, but I'd throw consensus behind B if that's where things are going.

 

[Canon Editor]

I believe b) could add something, albeit taking at night… I don’t think anything is truly needed beyond some more colour correction.  C) would be too much, in my opinion.  

What I believe @"CourtlyHades296" was referring to is the original, unedited “End Credits” cue from “The Revenge of the Sith”’s score which included a reprise of the “The Throne Room” cue (the march version of the Force theme).  In the final film, the portion of the cue was cut due to length (the track clocks in at 15 minutes, ca., while the actual end credits last about 11 minutes, if I remember correctly).  You can find the unedited track on the soundtrack CD for the score.  

Yet, I don’t get it…

 

[Andreas]

Thank you, guys! An agnostic B) it is

I agree with all three of you. I think C) would be overdoing it, whilst b) will subtly add a little resemblence and spice to the audio mix. I'll settle on b), with a tad more color grading.

I'll soon release a third version of the Senate Hearing for you guys to judge, as well as a second draft of the Yoda Vision scene.

Thank you as always!

 

[Canon Editor]

Thank You for all your wonderful work!  @"adywanuk" would be proud, I believe!

 

[addiesin]

Thank You for all your wonderful work!  @"adywanuk" would be proud, I believe!

Better user-tag him, just in case.  :s

 

[Andreas]

Thank You for all your wonderful work!  @"adywanuk" would be proud, I believe!

You flatter me, brother! Thank you so much!

 

[Andreas]

[UPDATE]

Here we go again! Tell me.

 

[CourtlyHades296]

As for the Throne Room (the song that plays in ANH's medal ceremony) reprise, the soundtrack CD of Revenge of the Sith had an extended version that wasn't in the film. I'd like for that version to appear somewhere.

 

[The Scribbling Man]

What's the eta on this project?

If 2.5y = 80% where y=years, then y = 32% or 1 year = 32%.

If 20%/32% = r, where r= remaining time, then r = 0.625 years

So I'd put the completion date range, if progress is constant, at April or May 2018  

How's it lookin', Andreas?

 

[Andreas]

What's the eta on this project?

If 2.5y = 80% where y=years, then y = 32% or 1 year = 32%.

If 20%/32% = r, where r= remaining time, then r = 0.625 years

So I'd put the completion date range, if progress is constant, at April or May 2018  

How's it lookin', Andreas?

Shut up!  :angel: I blame DigiMod's math skills!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Here we go again! Tell me.

 

[Canon Editor]

I believe you are almost there with the grading.  I don’t know about the inserted shot.  It certainly works, but not to the point something actually changes drastically.  I think you are there with the look of it all, most certainly.  I would maybe brighten the added shot up again, but my phone screen has a lighting problem and everything appears to be darker than it actually is.  My judgement is therefore somewhat clouded.

 

[Andreas]

I believe you are almost there with the grading.  I don’t know about the inserted shot.  It certainly works, but not to the point something actually changes drastically.  I think you are there with the look of it all, most certainly.  I would maybe brighten the added shot up again, but my phone screen has a lighting problem and everything appears to be darker than it actually is.  My judgement is therefore somewhat clouded.

Happy to hear that, brother, damn happy to hear that!

I can turn the brightness up a tad, but on my TV monitor it looks good enough. But room for a little more. I'd recommend you to watch it on your laptop! Hehe. Thanks for the feedback, man.