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ANDREAS presents: STAR WARS - Episode I - The Ancient Lore [TPM Remade]

The Scribbling Man

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I watched this earlier, but was distracted by company. I'll give it another watch soon with more attention, but off the top of my head it's looking good. Naboo shot works, though a little breif. It seemed to me like there may have been some frame blending going on during the Maul fight, but I will check again when I can.
 

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Andreas said:
[UPDATE]

Here we go again! Tell me.

Not gonna lie, I love the clip, especially Palpatine's "a tragedy has occurred...which started right here" line, throwing shade at the bad government...but I think I'm honestly starting to miss the actor from the fan film saying his lines. The acting isn't great, but it gives the viewer context as to why he's there to begin with. The tricky thing about crafting new scenes like this is that good scenes are able to stand on their own as well as adding to the film as a whole (that's why the phrase "the whole  is greater than the sum of its parts exists).

I think something else that would help is the use of montage. At it stands, you only cut to Naboo twice, which doesn't really make that footage feel like it belongs in the movie. Cutting to it three times (the Jedi alone talking into his intercom, the Jedi walking alone and being ambushed by Maul, and the Jedi defeated by Maul) would give it time to breath and help it stick in our minds better.
 

The Scribbling Man

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What your saying almost seems like a description of square one...
 

The Scribbling Man

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Ok, I've watched it again without distraction. Seems fine to me (must have imagined the frame blending). As I said before I think both the Naboo establishing shot (as well as the one at the end of the video) are just a bit too quick, but that's my only issue. Anything else I think I would have to watch the scene in context.

Great work, Andreas. Love the scoring on this scene.
 

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Nic said:
Andreas said:
[UPDATE]

Here we go again! Tell me.

Not gonna lie, I love the clip, especially Palpatine's "a tragedy has occurred...which started right here" line, throwing shade at the bad government...but I think I'm honestly starting to miss the actor from the fan film saying his lines. The acting isn't great, but it gives the viewer context as to why he's there to begin with. The tricky thing about crafting new scenes like this is that good scenes are able to stand on their own as well as adding to the film as a whole (that's why the phrase "the whole  is greater than the sum of its parts exists).

I think something else that would help is the use of montage. At it stands, you only cut to Naboo twice, which doesn't really make that footage feel like it belongs in the movie. Cutting to it three times (the Jedi alone talking into his intercom, the Jedi walking alone and being ambushed by Maul, and the Jedi defeated by Maul) would give it time to breath and help it stick in our minds better.


Some more context may be needed.  Rewatching the clip, I don’t know if it is truly needed having not seen the full edit (where it may or may not be implied that the Jedi are trying to free Naboo).  
What I keep noticing and am - my fault - late at pointing out is the lightsaber effect in the fan film seemingly having a frame problem…?  I think it may be a rendering problem since there isn’t a ritoscoping issue in the original fan film which I just gave a quick watch.  I don’t know if I’m being clear here… @"TM2YC" would surely know how to describe it properly.  
Furthermore, having rewatched the original forest footage from the fan film, I am now sure than last time that one way to solve the colour correction continuity would be to brighten the fan film footage.  

Keep it up Andreas!  I cannot wait to see this!
 

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Nic said:
Not gonna lie, I love the clip, especially Palpatine's "a tragedy has occurred...which started right here" line, throwing shade at the bad government...but I think I'm honestly starting to miss the actor from the fan film saying his lines. The acting isn't great, but it gives the viewer context as to why he's there to begin with. The tricky thing about crafting new scenes like this is that good scenes are able to stand on their own as well as adding to the film as a whole (that's why the phrase "the whole  is greater than the sum of its parts exists). 

I think something else that would help is the use of montage. At it stands, you only cut to Naboo twice, which doesn't really make that footage feel like it belongs in the movie. Cutting to it three times (the Jedi alone talking into his intercom, the Jedi walking alone and being ambushed by Maul, and the Jedi defeated by Maul) would give it time to breath and help it stick in our minds better.
Hmm, I do understand your concern and I see where you're coming from. However, I feel that we are past this point now. I think it is pretty clear (with a little longer establishing shot) that we are on Naboo, because we visit it through two establishing shots (one of a forest), and then we are in that forest with the Jedi character. We are also introduced to Naboo three times (!) during the opening minutes of the movie, leaving plenty of room to remember the planet's blue, cloudy silhuette.

We also visit the battle three times, after the establishing shots and Maul attack.

The reason we don't need the Jedi talking in the intercom, is because we know we are on Naboo - which we are told in a previous scene is where Maul is to kill Jedi. Therefore, it should make sense what drama is taking place whilst the Queen is speaking about the tragedy of her planet and her people.

In the unfinished scene of Sidious telling Maul to kill the remaining Jedi on Naboo, it is also explicitly stated for him to be there. I think doing anything more now would be redundant. But - having said that - I am still open to suggestions. There is always room for improvement.
The Scribbling Man said:
Ok, I've watched it again without distraction. Seems fine to me (must have imagined the frame blending). As I said before I think both the Naboo establishing shot (as well as the one at the end of the video) are just a bit too quick, but that's my only issue. Anything else I think I would have to watch the scene in context.

Great work, Andreas. Love the scoring on this scene.
Thank you, my friend. 

You mean the establishing shot of the planet, the forest, or both? Either way, I do agree. Half a second more to the establishing shot of the forest could definitely benefit the pacing.

Canon Editor said:
Nic said:
Not gonna lie, I love the clip, especially Palpatine's "a tragedy has occurred...which started right here" line, (...)
Some more context may be needed.
In the sense of seeing the clip in which Maul is ordered to kill the Jedi?
 

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Canon Editor said:
Rewatching the clip, I don’t know if it is truly needed having not seen the full edit (where it may or may not be implied that the Jedi are trying to free Naboo).  
What I keep noticing and am - my fault - late at pointing out is the lightsaber effect in the fan film seemingly having a frame problem…?  I think it may be a rendering problem since there isn’t a ritoscoping issue in the original fan film which I just gave a quick watch.  I don’t know if I’m being clear here… @"TM2YC" would surely know how to describe it properly.  
Furthermore, having rewatched the original forest footage from the fan film, I am now sure than last time that one way to solve the colour correction continuity would be to brighten the fan film footage.  

Keep it up Andreas!  I cannot wait to see this!
Cheers for the feedback, brother! Absolutetly valid points.

- Yes, you are correct that there is a little blendering problem with the fanfootage - this will be fixed. Not to worry. I just haven't rendered a working .mp4 with the problem solved as my source yet. This is due to the fanfilm being at different frames than TPM. Thank you for pointing it out for others to know!

- I am thrilled to hear you don't find that necessary, as you can kind of guess Maul's purpose there. Naboo is under invasion by his master and the Trade Federation - so it makes sense he went there after his failure in killing Qui-Gon and obtaining the Queen. And this is good, because that leaves the scene in which Sidious orders Maul to kill Jedi the oppurtunity to be more subtle.

- Yes, you are probably correct on this one. Some more brightness will definitely serve the resemblance.

Thanks, brother!
 

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CourtlyHades296 said:
As for the Throne Room (the song that plays in ANH's medal ceremony) reprise, the soundtrack CD of Revenge of the Sith had an extended version that wasn't in the film. I'd like for that version to appear somewhere.
I can try to pull that of. Just listened to it, and it's quite a wonderful piece of music that could fit. It's like a new version of ANH's medal ceremony. I don't know if there's room for it in The Ancient Lore - probably not as it is too much of on a bright note for my ending chapters, but maybe in Attack of the Clones edit? I can see it playing over Anakin and Padme reuniting on the Geonosis Arena during the callback of lines "Aggressive negotiations" whilst their fighting the battle droids. It would fit, as this is when Anakin and Padme overcome war struggles for the first time together, and strengthens their care for eachother.
 

The Scribbling Man

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Andreas said:
You mean the establishing shot of the planet, the forest, or both? Either way, I do agree. Half a second more to the establishing shot of the forest could definitely benefit the pacing.

Both. When you start hearing the ships towards the end of the establishing shot of the planet, I would wait till 1:11 to transition to the visual shot of the forest/ships. And then also make the actual shot of the ships slightly longer as well.

When you hear the audio from the next scene before it appears, it prepares you for the cut, but it just feels like there needs to be that little bit longer so the cogs can turn in your brain (if that makes sense?)
 

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The Scribbling Man said:
Andreas said:
You mean the establishing shot of the planet, the forest, or both? Either way, I do agree. Half a second more to the establishing shot of the forest could definitely benefit the pacing.

Both. When you start hearing the ships towards the end of the establishing shot of the planet, I would wait till 1:11 to transition to the visual shot of the forest/ships. And then also make the actual shot of the ships slightly longer as well.

When you hear the audio from the next scene before it appears, it prepares you for the cut, but it just feels like there needs to be that little bit longer so the cogs can turn in your brain (if that makes sense?)
I get you. I'll prolong both establishers with half a second, and prepare for the cut some slight miliseconds before. Good suggestions, cheers brother.
 

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Cheers!  The blendering problem is cool if you know it’d there and it can be fixed.  

I forgot to say that I believe an iris or wipe could serve well in between the closeup on Maul’s face and the Jedi temple, as somebody suggested a few days ago…
 

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The short amount of time you use to perfect something that was “just working” two days ago is incredible. Please keep up the good work, and for the love of all things good please actually release it! (Looking at you Kcutter of OT.com!)
 

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Andreas said:
In the unfinished scene of Sidious telling Maul to kill the remaining Jedi on Naboo, it is also explicitly stated for him to be there. I think doing anything more now would be redundant. But - having said that - I am still open to suggestions. There is always room for improvement.

If that's the case, I think that's the next scene you should be working on. It might help make everything you've been working on click together more.
 

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Andreas said:
CourtlyHades296 said:
As for the Throne Room (the song that plays in ANH's medal ceremony) reprise, the soundtrack CD of Revenge of the Sith had an extended version that wasn't in the film. I'd like for that version to appear somewhere.
I can try to pull that of. Just listened to it, and it's quite a wonderful piece of music that could fit. It's like a new version of ANH's medal ceremony. I don't know if there's room for it in The Ancient Lore - probably not as it is too much of on a bright note for my ending chapters, but maybe in Attack of the Clones edit? I can see it playing over Anakin and Padme reuniting on the Geonosis Arena during the callback of lines "Aggressive negotiations" whilst their fighting the battle droids. It would fit, as this is when Anakin and Padme overcome war struggles for the first time together, and strengthens their care for eachother.

I really like that idea.
 

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CourtlyHades296 said:
I really like that idea.

28l77q.jpg
 

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In the Senate scene there should be an impact sound effect like an echo or something when the lightsabers clash in my opinion
 

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Canon Editor said:
I forgot to say that I believe an iris or wipe could serve well in between the closeup on Maul’s face and the Jedi temple, as somebody suggested a few days ago…
Good idea. For the sake of wipes - in which I have removed some, I can add one there. It would definitely fit. Thanks, man. I forgot to respond to the suggestion the first time, so thank you both.
Jukili said:
The short amount of time you use to perfect something that was “just working” two days ago is incredible. Please keep up the good work, and for the love of all things good please actually release it! (Looking at you Kcutter of OT.com!)
Cheers, brother! A great compliment! I get support and suggestions from you guys, and I finish it. Team effort.
Nic said:
Andreas said:
In the unfinished scene of Sidious telling Maul to kill the remaining Jedi on Naboo, it is also explicitly stated for him to be there. I think doing anything more now would be redundant. But - having said that - I am still open to suggestions. There is always room for improvement.
If that's the case, I think that's the next scene you should be working on. It might help make everything you've been working on click together more.
True. It's the only scene left in the movie that is not ready for a preview (due to the auditory). The pieces are there, the puzzle is just not completed. I'll see when I feel confident enough to preview it. It might be a day or two, it might be a week.
CourtlyHades296 said:
I really like that idea.
Cheers, brother! Then we have a plan!

Masirimso17 said:
In the Senate scene there should be an impact sound effect like an echo or something when the lightsabers clash in my opinion
Nice, subtle idea. That can be done. Cheers, brother!
 

lapis molari

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@"Andreas" have you found a logical place to insert Qui-Gon's force ghost voice from Clone Wars? (Liam Neeson did s3 Mortis arc and s6 Yoda arc).
If not toward the end of Part I, then perhaps early in Part II? To help bridge the significance of Qui-Gon into the further story?
 

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lapis molari said:
@"Andreas" have you found a logical place to insert Qui-Gon's force ghost voice from Clone Wars? (Liam Neeson did s3 Mortis arc and s6 Yoda arc).
If not toward the end of Part I, then perhaps early in Part II? To help bridge the significance of Qui-Gon into the further story?
Can't say I have. I think the only "logical" place to put any dialogue beyond what is in TPM would be in AotC. I did think about this a while back, and I thought about - seeing as nightmares is a part of Anakin's arc - to have some sort of dialogue/halfway-communication from Qui-Gon in one of his nightmares, as I've tried to increase Qui-Gon's importance in the overall story in my upcoming edit of AotC (now simply by a name-drop from Obi-Wan to Anakin; "Qui-Gon would be very proud of you").

We'll see how that goes, when my focus is on the AotC edit. Now I gotta finish this badboy! Which is bad as hell!
 
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