Thor - The Dark World: Hard Forged Edition

[TM2YC]

In your edit, will the scene where Malekith tells Algrim to become the last of the Kursed come before or after Odin explains the history of the Dark Elves to Thor and Jane? I ask because if it comes after Odin's explanation, the flashback showing the former Kursed is a little confusing without Malakith's dialogue. However, the Algrim scene comes before Odin's exposition, the audience will have already been introduced to the concept of Kursed before the flashback, making it much less confusing.

I don't think it really matters that much as the Kursed thing is all quite vague. They are what in videogames gets referred to as "Tanks" compared to the standard Elven troops. They are harder to kill, that's all the audience needs to know (The quite visually similar Balrog is never explained in the LOTR films for example). But...

In the theatrical cut the flashback Kursed was shown right at the start with no real explanation (Beyond naming them) then the audience is allowed more than 30 minutes to forget them before the scene of Algrim agreeing to be "Kursed". When I first watched Thor2, by that point I think I'd forgotten that there were those Kursed-Elves in the opening flashback. Then there is a further 5 minutes before Algrim turns into the flamy dude and I finally connected the two visually.

In my cut we see the Flashback Kursed 27 minutes in. They are not named but we see them unleash in response King Bor's arrival (It's 'bring out the big guns', simple as that). Then we see Algrim agree to be cursed 2 minutes after that and finally Algrim becomes Kursed 4 minutes later. So the whole Kursed thing now takes place across less than 6 minutes making it all much clearer IMO (Instead of being spread across 36 minutes in the theatrical cut).

 

[TM2YC]

The blue face looks good. I would've liked consistency, but it's also important to trust that the people who've watched the Marvel movies know what's going on with the shift into blue.

If you want visual consistency then Thor is the wrong franchise for you my friend! :-D

But seriously, I like how they've kept slightly improving/changing the costumes and hair/makeup across the films. Some of the plasticey costumes and hairpieces in Thor1 were atrocious.

As I've said before, I'm going with the same assumption that the creators of Thor2 made... that the audience have seen Thor1 and Avengers so will know who Loki is. If they don't know why he turns blue then thats tough :lol:.

Also, I never cleared up my poorly worded "illusion magic to be ruined" line on page 2. You know how once you know the secret behind a magician's trick, they're not as impressive anymore? That's kinda what happened in that deleted scene between Thor and Frigga. I chose my words poorly because I was trying to clever with Firgga and Loki's powers and not wanting the illusion of the illusion magic to be ruined.

Still not 100% what you mean. I can't see what aspect is revealed in the deleted dialogue that isn't in any other scenes.

btw I've extended the fade into blue on Loki beginning in the earlier Thor POV shot so it's much more smooth and I've added an almost imperceptible flash of Red in Loki's eyes just as he dies.

 

[TM2YC]

Finished editing, remixing, recolouring and rescoring the new ending. I'm absolutely delighted with the result, it's everything I thought it could and should have been . I think I'll save it as a surprise for the release though. I'm also part way through editing the new post-credits sequence but more audio work is needed and I've managed to get the chroma-keying working properly on the opening logo so it's now in full colour (Plus I've retimed it again)...

And here's some of that Shakespearean dialogue from the old Thor comic that was mentioned before...

 

[yads]

I'll definitely be checking this edit out. The theatrical cut of TDW passed the time, but you couldn't help but think they'd cut it to pieces at the last minute to take out a load of boring dark elf stuff. Problem being, without the dark elf stuff you don't have a villain with motivation or depth... which is a problem in a superhero film.

Also, I love the Shakespeare subtitles. Please keep them in, or at least something similar. Like you I thought the subtitled dialogue for these "characters" was generic and dull. Given how brilliant Whedon's dialogue for Illyria was in Angel it bothered me that he didn't come in and rewrite the Malekith dialogue. Whedon has a great ear for formal sounding dialogue.

 

[bionicbob]

Fan-fraKking-tastic!!!!

 

[TM2YC]

The theatrical cut of TDW passed the time, but you couldn't help but think they'd cut it to pieces at the last minute.

Editing this has strangely felt like reverse-fanediting. Throughout I've been trying to re-arrange the placement of scenes that had been disorded in the original edit, removing or correcting shaky match-cuts, re-ordering mixed up footage and cutting noticeably post-dubbed dialogue. These are all things that I try to avoid when fanediting but sometimes I have to employ them to tell the story I want to tell. So it's odd to find them in a big budget pro-edited film.

The chief example would be the scene on Asgard where Jane has that glowing red Aether dream. Most of the shots have been borrowed from other scenes and cobbled together in the edit. One of the shots is a reused, flipped into reverse and re-coloured bit of CGI from earlier in the film for goodness sake. The fact that they didn't have time to render a new shot highlights how late this thing was being re-edited before it premiered. I thought that sequence was such a mess that I've removed and replaced it.

Don't get me wrong, if the red-dream scene had been fan-created I'd be very impressed, as you probably wouldn't spot the joins unless you looked really hard. But unlike us editors who do it for free with no resources, I'd expect a $170 million Dollar film to have shot a new scene.

Also, I love the Shakespeare subtitles. Please keep them in, or at least something similar. Like you I thought the subtitled dialogue for these "characters" was generic and dull. Given how brilliant Whedon's dialogue for Illyria was in Angel it bothered me that he didn't come in and rewrite the Malekith dialogue. Whedon has a great ear for formal sounding dialogue.

I'm not keen on using actual Shakespeare as it's too recognisable but I might use Shakespeare-esque dialogue. As promised here is a compilation clip of all the Dark Elves' subtitles in Thor2 for anyone who wants to help make them better...

...and here are the subtitles themselves:

SCENE ONE - Dark Elves Awake
01.00.27 Malakith - The Aether awakens us.
01.03.10 Malakith - The Convergence returns.
SCENE TWO - Malakith Swears Revenge
01.46.04 Malakith - Look upon my legacy, Algrim.
01.50.13 Malakith - I can barely remember a time before the light.
01.53.17 Algrim - Our survival will be your legacy.
01.58.20 Malakith - The Asgardians will suffer, as we have suffered.
02.02.12 Malakith - I will reclaim the Aether,
02.03.22 Malakith - I will restore our world,
02.05.01 Malakith - and I will put an end to this poisoned universe.
SCENE THREE - Algrim's Mission
02.38.10 Algrim - The worlds are nearly aligned.
02.46.10 Malakith - You will be the last of the Kursed.
02.49.10 Algrim - Let my life be sacrificed.
02.51.22 Algrim - It is no less than our people did,
02.54.26 Algrim - or you have done.
03.04.12 Malakith - You will become darkness,
03.03.07 Malakith - cursed to this existence until it consumes you.
03.16.24 Malakith - Until then, no power our enemies possess can stop you.
03.23.12 Algrim - I will tear down their defenses and ensure your return to a universe reborn.
SCENE FOUR - Malakith Heals
04.32.16 Algrim - Heal. You will need your strength to reclaim the Aether.
04.37.13 Algrim - And when you wake, we will kill them all.
SCENE FIVE - Malakith Senses Jane
04.58.23 Algrim - We must strike now.
05.03.11 Malakith - No
05.05.11 Malakith - Asgard is meaningless.
05.10.02 Malakith - The Aether,
05.05.15 Malakith - It has found its way home.
SCENE SIX - Algrim Trusts Loki
05.05.34 Algrim - He is an enemy of Asgard.
05.37.17 Algrim - He was a prisoner in their dungeons.

When you write it all down you realise just how clunky it is at points. For example in Scene-4 Algrim is urging caution, then in Scene-5 he is urging action, when there hasn't really been any change in circumstances beyond the structure of the plot. Plus words like "Ensure" seem like 'corporate speak' (From my experience) rather than real dialogue e.g. "I will ensure my annual targets are met" aka "I will... ensure your return to a universe reborn".

I welcome any suggestions on improving the above, even if it's just a single word. Obviously a replacement phrase needs to be of a similar length but feel free to suggest radically different dialogue options, as long as it fits the performance and scene. For example, I'm considering changing Algrim's dialogue in Scene-6 to be him warning Malakith to be cautious of Loki's tricks (So them Malakith comes across as a little bit more deviously evil) or adding more information to Scene-3 about what the Kursed are.

 

[hbenthow]

I decided to take a crack at it. I think that changing "ensure" to "assure" is a good improvement. Feel free to tweak my dialogue even further.


SCENE ONE - Dark Elves Awake

01.00.27 Malakith - The Aether bids us awake.
01.03.10 Malakith - The Convergence is nigh.

SCENE TWO - Malakith Swears Revenge

01.46.04 Malakith - Look upon my legacy, Algrim.
01.50.13 Malakith - Scarce can I remember a time before the light.
01.53.17 Algrim - Our survival shall be your legacy.
01.58.20 Malakith - Asgard shall suffer greatly, even as we have suffered.
02.02.12 Malakith - I shall reclaim the Aether,
02.03.22 Malakith - And restore our world to its former glory.
02.05.01 Malakith - This defiled universe shall be no more.
-OR The universe shall no longer be defiled by light.
-OR This poisoned universe shall be no more.
-OR The universe shall no longer be poisoned by light.


SCENE THREE - Algrim's Mission

02.38.10 Algrim - The worlds are nearly aligned.
02.46.10 Malakith - You shall be the last of the Kursed champions.
02.49.10 Algrim - I shall gladly lay down my life.
02.51.22 Algrim - It is no less than our people did,
02.54.26 Algrim - or you have done.
03.04.12 Malakith - You shall become darkness itself,
03.03.07 Malakith - cursed to this existence until it consumes you.
03.16.24 Malakith - Ere then, no power our foes possess can stand in your way.
03.23.12 Algrim - I shall tear down their defenses and assure your return to a universe reborn.

SCENE FOUR - Malakith Heals

04.32.16 Algrim - Heal. You shall need your strength to reclaim the Aether.
04.37.13 Algrim - And when you wake, they shall all perish.

SCENE FIVE - Malakith Senses Jane

04.58.23 Algrim - We must strike now.
05.03.11 Malakith - No
05.05.11 Malakith - Asgard means nothing.
05.10.02 Malakith - The Aether has found its way home.

SCENE SIX - Algrim Trusts Loki

05.05.34 Algrim - He is a foe to Asgard.
05.37.17 Algrim - I saw him imprisoned in their dungeons.

 

[skyled]

hbenthow, I think you did a nice job rewriting but if you look back, you'll notice you seemed to use "shall" very frequently like a crutch to sound old-timey.

Going with Shakespearean style dialogue is a brilliant idea though.

 

[hbenthow]

hbenthow, I think you did a nice job rewriting but if you look back, you'll notice you seemed to use "shall" very frequently like a crutch to sound old-timey.

Going with Shakespearean style dialogue is a brilliant idea though.

Hmmn. Maybe you're right. Here it is again, but this time with "will" instead of "shall".

SCENE ONE - Dark Elves Awake

01.00.27 Malakith - The Aether bids us awake.
01.03.10 Malakith - The Convergence is nigh.

SCENE TWO - Malakith Swears Revenge

01.46.04 Malakith - Look upon my legacy, Algrim.
01.50.13 Malakith - Scarce can I remember a time before the light.
01.53.17 Algrim - Our survival will be your legacy.
01.58.20 Malakith - Asgard will suffer greatly, even as we have suffered.
02.02.12 Malakith - I will reclaim the Aether,
02.03.22 Malakith - And restore our world to its former glory.
02.05.01 Malakith - This defiled universe will be no more.
-OR The universe will no longer be defiled by light.
-OR This poisoned universe will be no more.
-OR The universe will no longer be poisoned by light.


SCENE THREE - Algrim's Mission

02.38.10 Algrim - The worlds are nearly aligned.
02.46.10 Malakith - You will be the last of the Kursed champions.
02.49.10 Algrim - I will gladly lay down my life.
02.51.22 Algrim - It is no less than our people did,
02.54.26 Algrim - or you have done.
03.04.12 Malakith - You will become darkness itself,
03.03.07 Malakith - cursed to this existence until it consumes you.
03.16.24 Malakith - Ere then, no power our foes possess can stand in your way.
03.23.12 Algrim - I will tear down their defenses and assure your return to a universe reborn.

SCENE FOUR - Malakith Heals

04.32.16 Algrim - Heal. You will need your strength to reclaim the Aether.
04.37.13 Algrim - And when you wake, they will all perish.

SCENE FIVE - Malakith Senses Jane

04.58.23 Algrim - We must strike now.
05.03.11 Malakith - No
05.05.11 Malakith - Asgard means nothing.
05.10.02 Malakith - The Aether has found its way home.

SCENE SIX - Algrim Trusts Loki

05.05.34 Algrim - He is a foe to Asgard.
05.37.17 Algrim - I saw him imprisoned in their dungeons.

 

[addiesin]

Hrrm. There's quite a bit more to Shakespearean writing than old timey words. However, using the correct words consistently (and in the 'correct' order) will make you sound much more authentic. Here's a reference guide: http://talklikeshakespeare.weebly.com/tips-to-talk-like-shakespeare.html . Also I know it'd be asking quite a bit, but writing in iambic pentameter was kind of his thing, so it'd be REALLY authentic Shakespeare styles if you could manage that. I might take a crack at it some time but there's a lot that goes in to making this stuff sound right. I don't think it's quite there.

 

[hbenthow]

Hrrm. There's quite a bit more to Shakespearean writing than old timey words. However, using the correct words consistently (and in the 'correct' order) will make you sound much more authentic. Here's a reference guide: http://talklikeshakespeare.weebly.com/tips-to-talk-like-shakespeare.html . Also I know it'd be asking quite a bit, but writing in iambic pentameter was kind of his thing, so it'd be REALLY authentic Shakespeare styles if you could manage that. I might take a crack at it some time but there's a lot that goes in to making this stuff sound right. I don't think it's quite there.

I don't think I'm skilled enough to make it sound like truly authentic Shakespeare. I was going for more of a vague medieval style - a bit more King James Bible than Shakespeare.

 

[Aztek463]

Iambic pentameter was definitely Shakespeare's thing, but he didn't do it with all of his characters. IP was typically reserved for high class/noble characters, while lower class characters spoke in "regular" prose. The meter also sounds a specific way when spoken out loud, a very specific way that they syllables are pronounced. While it would be cool to have the subtitles written that way, the spoken dialogue doesn't really match the same rhythm that IP does, so I'm not sure how well it would work in execution, no matter how well the text was written.

Of course, I studied Shakes a LOT in college, so it would stick out to me more than most, I think.

Here's a good Wikipedia article on IP.

 

[TM2YC]

Thanks guys for the tips and rewrites on the dialogue. Some great suggestions [MENTION=8666]hbenthow[/MENTION], you made it better for sure, but I think I really want to tear up the old words and write something new rather than tweak it. I wanna try and avoid to much of the Shakespeare-esque "Hath, doth, perchance, anon" etc type words. It's more of the poetry and pleasing rhythm of Shakespeare I'm after.

I had a good go at re-writing the first 3 scenes (This screenwriting business is bloody hard, so new found respect for the professionals that make it look and sound so easy). See what you think...

SCENE ONE (Original) - Dark Elves Awake
01.00.27 Malakith - The Aether awakens us.
01.03.10 Malakith - The Convergence returns.
SCENE ONE (Rewrite) - Dark Elves Awake
01.00.27 Malakith - 'Tis The Aether brothers.
01.03.10 Malakith - It calls to us once more.

SCENE TWO (Original) - Malakith Swears Revenge
01.46.04 Malakith - Look upon my legacy, Algrim.
01.50.13 Malakith - I can barely remember a time before the light.
01.53.17 Algrim - Our survival will be your legacy.
01.58.20 Malakith - The Asgardians will suffer, as we have suffered.
02.02.12 Malakith - I will reclaim the Aether,
02.03.22 Malakith - I will restore our world,
02.05.01 Malakith - and I will put an end to this poisoned universe.
SCENE TWO (Rewrite) - Malakith Swears Revenge
01.46.04 Malakith - Our people are nought but dust,
01.50.13 Malakith - and our past but bitter ashes, Algrim.
01.53.17 Algrim - Yet we endure and shall be avenged.
01.58.20 Malakith - The Asgardians will suffer no less a fate.
02.02.12 Malakith - I will reclaim the Aether,
02.03.22 Malakith - summon it's power,
02.05.01 Malakith - and cloak this poisoned universe in darkness.

SCENE THREE (Original) - Algrim's Mission
02.38.10 Algrim - The worlds are nearly aligned.
02.46.10 Malakith - You will be the last of the Kursed.
02.49.10 Algrim - Let my life be sacrificed.
02.51.22 Algrim - It is no less than our people did,
02.54.26 Algrim - or you have done.
03.04.12 Malakith - You will become darkness,
03.03.07 Malakith - cursed to this existence until it consumes you.
03.16.24 Malakith - Until then, no power our enemies possess can stop you.
03.23.12 Algrim - I will tear down their defenses and ensure your return to a universe reborn.
SCENE THREE (Rewrite) - Algrim's Mission
02.38.10 Algrim - The time has come my Lord.
02.46.10 Malakith - And you shall be as the stroke of midnight.
02.49.10 Algrim - I am not affraid,
02.51.22 Algrim - 'tis no less than our people did,
02.54.26 Algrim - or you have done.
03.04.12 Malakith - You will become the inferno,
03.03.07 Malakith - setting the fire that shall engulf our enemies.
03.16.24 Malakith - Burning until the flame consumes your body.
03.23.12 Algrim - Yet not before I have left Asgard but a smouldering ruin.

I've tried to make it more conversational and try to get the sentences to flow one from the other in a natural fashion while at the same time making it a little more grand. You'll notice I've removed the word "Kursed" as that was the only mention of it in my edit. I've instead adding much more description of what is going to happen to Algrim and why. I've tried to keep the theme one of light, darkness and fire.

 

[DominicCobb]

I like it.

 

[TM2YC]

I like it.

But is there too much "But"?

Reveal message

Butt :-D

Or does it just seem too many to me when they are all written down together (Rather than spread across the whole film)?

 

[Nic]

I like it.

 

[hbenthow]

That's mostly very good. It's very poetic. However, there are some parts that bother me a bit.

SCENE ONE (Rewrite) - Dark Elves Awake
01.00.27 Malakith - 'Tis The Aether brothers.
01.03.10 Malakith - It calls to us once more.

I think that the word 'Tis doesn't sound quite right for this scene. Also the scene doesn't seem quite right to me without mention of awakening or the Convergence, although I'm not quite certain - I might change my mind.

SCENE TWO (Rewrite) - Malakith Swears Revenge
01.46.04 Malakith - Our people are nought but dust,
01.50.13 Malakith - and our past but bitter ashes, Algrim.
01.53.17 Algrim - Yet we endure and shall be avenged.
01.58.20 Malakith - The Asgardians will suffer no less a fate.
02.02.12 Malakith - I will reclaim the Aether,
02.03.22 Malakith - summon it's power,
02.05.01 Malakith - and cloak this poisoned universe in darkness.

I don't think that the phrase "cloak this poisoned universe in darkness" works quite right. I think that the dialogue should imply a cleansing, destroying, or banishment (ie, Malakith sees destroying light as cleansing the universe of some poisoning or defilement). The "this poisoned universe" dialogue gets that across, but "cloaking" it in darkness doesn't quite sound right. Malakith doesn't want to "cloak" the poisoned universe in darkness, he wants to make it no longer a poisoned universe (cloaked in darkness or otherwise). He wants to cleanse the universe of its defilement, to rid it of the poison.

SCENE THREE (Rewrite) - Algrim's Mission
02.38.10 Algrim - The time has come my Lord.
02.46.10 Malakith - And you shall be as the stroke of midnight.
02.49.10 Algrim - I am not affraid,
02.51.22 Algrim - 'tis no less than our people did,
02.54.26 Algrim - or you have done.
03.04.12 Malakith - You will become the inferno,
03.03.07 Malakith - setting the fire that shall engulf our enemies.
03.16.24 Malakith - Burning until the flame consumes your body.
03.23.12 Algrim - Yet not before I have left Asgard but a smouldering ruin.

This dialogue is indeed more descriptive and poetic (although the "And you shall be as the stroke of midnight" is maybe a bit too poetic and figurative). I love the burning/engulfing/smouldering symbolism. But I think that there should be some mentioned of the word "Kursed". I got the impression from the theatrical cut that the Kursed are champions of their people; a select few who sacrifice themselves to gain the power to fight for the goals of the Dark Elves, and are greatly remembered for their service. Your dialogue beautifully describes what it means to become a single Kursed (gaining great power with which to deffeat your enemies, but at the cost of losing your life to that power), but it doesn't capture that by becoming one, he is joining a proud few that have been honored through the ages. In the theatrical cut, the phrase "last of the Kursed" got all of this across with few words. Omitting a name for what he is becoming robs the transformation of a little of its power (with a name, he is "one of the Kursed", he is joining a proud few. Without a name, he's just "getting some powers that will consume him" - part of what's happening but not all, and a bit generic in comparison). Also, the character of Algrim in the comics was known as Kurse after the transformation, so something seems missing when there is no mention of Kurse/Kursed.

 

[skyled]

I don't like this section either.

02.02.12 Malakith - I will reclaim the Aether,
02.03.22 Malakith - summon it's power,
02.05.01 Malakith - and cloak this poisoned universe in darkness.

First of all, it should be "its", not "it's". Maybe one of these alternatives would work better:

02.02.12 Malakith - I will reclaim the Aether,
02.03.22 Malakith - summon its might,
02.05.01 Malakith - and bathe this diseased/rotting universe in darkness.

02.02.12 Malakith - I will reclaim the Aether,
02.03.22 Malakith - summon its power,
02.05.01 Malakith - and purge this poisoned universe, cloaking it in darkness.

 

[TM2YC]

I think that the word 'Tis doesn't sound quite right for this scene. Also the scene doesn't seem quite right to me without mention of awakening or the Convergence, although I'm not quite certain - I might change my mind.

You are probably right. I removed the convergence refrence since in my cut this would be the first mention of the word and isn't explained in any way. But I've also remembered that I placed the dialogue between Heimdall and Thor explaining the convergence almost instantly after, so it should be fine. How about this...

SCENE ONE (Original) - Dark Elves Awake
01.00.27 Malakith - The Aether awakens us.
01.03.10 Malakith - The Convergence returns.
SCENE ONE (Rewrite) - Dark Elves Awake
01.00.27 Malakith - 'Tis The Aether brothers.
01.03.10 Malakith - It calls to us once more.
SCENE ONE (Rewrite 2) - Dark Elves Awake
01.00.27 Malakith - The Aether wakes us brothers,
01.03.10 Malakith - and The Convergence is at hand.

I don't think that the phrase "cloak this poisoned universe in darkness" works quite right. I think that the dialogue should imply a cleansing, destroying, or banishment

How about this?

SCENE TWO (Original) - Malakith Swears Revenge
02.02.12 Malakith - I will reclaim the Aether,
02.03.22 Malakith - I will restore our world,
02.05.01 Malakith - and I will put an end to this poisoned universe.
SCENE TWO (Rewrite) - Malakith Swears Revenge
02.02.12 Malakith - I will reclaim the Aether,
02.03.22 Malakith - summon its power,
02.05.01 Malakith - and cloak this poisoned universe in darkness.
SCENE TWO (Rewrite 2) - Malakith Swears Revenge
02.02.12 Malakith - I will reclaim the Aether,
02.03.22 Malakith - draw out its power,
02.05.01 Malakith - and return this poisoned universe to darkness.

(Radical alternative? 02.05.01 Malakith - and return this poisoned universe to the void.)

This dialogue is indeed more descriptive and poetic (although the "And you shall be as the stroke of midnight" is maybe a bit too poetic and figurative). I love the burning/engulfing/smouldering symbolism.

Think I'll keep the "Midnight" bit as it ties Algrim's mention of "Time" into Malakith's reply in a natural call-and-response way.

But I think that there should be some mentioned of the word "Kursed". I got the impression from the theatrical cut that the Kursed are champions of their people; a select few who sacrifice themselves to gain the power to fight for the goals of the Dark Elves, and are greatly remembered for their service. Your dialogue beautifully describes what it means to become a single Kursed (gaining great power with which to deffeat your enemies, but at the cost of losing your life to that power), but it doesn't capture that by becoming one, he is joining a proud few that have been honored through the ages. In the theatrical cut, the phrase "last of the Kursed" got all of this across with few words. Omitting a name for what he is becoming robs the transformation of a little of its power (with a name, he is "one of the Kursed", he is joining a proud few. Without a name, he's just "getting some powers that will consume him" - part of what's happening but not all, and a bit generic in comparison). Also, the character of Algrim in the comics was known as Kurse after the transformation, so something seems missing when there is no mention of Kurse/Kursed.

I've never read the comic so this was news to me about Algrim, thanks. How about this?

SCENE THREE (Original) - Algrim's Mission
02.38.10 Algrim - The worlds are nearly aligned.
02.46.10 Malakith - You will be the last of the Kursed.
02.49.10 Algrim - Let my life be sacrificed.
02.51.22 Algrim - It is no less than our people did,
02.54.26 Algrim - or you have done.
SCENE THREE (Rewrite) - Algrim's Mission
02.38.10 Algrim - The time has come my Lord.
02.46.10 Malakith - And you shall be as the stroke of midnight.
02.49.10 Algrim - I am not affraid,
02.51.22 Algrim - 'tis no less than our people did,
02.54.26 Algrim - or you have done.
SCENE THREE (Rewrite 2) - Algrim's Mission
02.38.10 Algrim - The time has come my Lord.
02.46.10 Malakith - And you shall be as the stroke of midnight.
02.49.10 Algrim - I am not afraid.
02.51.22 Algrim - To join the ranks of The Kursed,
02.54.26 Algrim - is honour indeed.

I don't like this section either. First of all, it should be "its", not "it's".

I hadn't done any error checking yet but thanks for spotting that. See above for new changes, any better?

 

[yads]

Were it my decision, I'd go for this:

"02.02.12 Malekith - I will reclaim the Aether,
02.03.22 Malekith - draw out its power,
02.05.01 Malekith - and bathe this rotting universe in cleansing darkness."

The idea that he's doing this to purify the universe, in other words: out of some sense of righteousness, seems preferable and slightly less hackneyed than the route the original movie took.