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The Emotional Support Thread

Seeing as how parents can't even legally see your college grades unless you show them yourself after you turn 18 - even if they are footing the billI - I'm guessing it's not legal without your consent.

Under 18 though, I'd say it's probably legal.

EDIT: Looks like it's a little bit murky - especially since these app developers usually say "Don't use this app to track or spy on anyone but your minor children or employees" or some such - but it seems to be the consensus that using such an app to track your child once they turn 18 is illegal.

This isn't something that's acceptable just because your parents pay the bills, Coffee. This is a gross and illegal invasion of privacy and a massive red flag, and the fact that you seem to think they're within their rights to do this makes me feel like I have to finally stop dancing around it:

Your parents are psychologically and emotionally abusive and have brainwashed you into obedience over the years. You're an adult now and need to get away while you can. They're getting worse because they know this and want to make sure you're completely dependent on them before you wake up and GTFO.

I'm willing to bet that before too long they'll stop paying for your college with some excuse that makes it seem like you did something wrong and they're punishing you, making you feel like you owe it to them to come back home. But the real reason will be that they know the longer you stay out from under their thumb (especially while in school, being educated and exposed to many diverse people and points of view), the more likely you are to see their behavior for what it is and escape from it.
 
It is surprising how often I see parents wanting to track their children.  When my parents were children, they just went outside without a care in the world, and so long as they were home by nightfall, their parents did not give one shit.  What happened?  Freakin' helicopter parenting is the worst, and only sets up children for failure once they reach the real world.
 
I once dated a girl who was in college whose parents did that to her.  Luckily it only alerted them if she left town (it was a small village) so they never noticed when we would get a room at the local super 8 for some quality time away from her dorm mates.  So yeah it was a real effective strategy on their fault... she was pretty cool, wish I would have went with her when she moved away.  Regerts
 
Gosh, those stories always get to me.  I'm such a pansy.
 
Possessed said:
I once dated a girl who was in college whose parents did that to her.  Luckily it only alerted them if she left town
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Nah, my dad watches me on a map like some Harry Potter shit.  Sometimes I'll even be on the phone with him and he'll ask where I am, so I give him a point of reference and he says "yep, that's what the app says."

This sounds super fucked up typing it out, but I still don't think I'm a stockholm case for just shrugging it off because they're my parents and I think they have the right to know about shit they pay for.  And I'm willing to bet that they won't cut me off for anything shy of actually being outed as gay.
 
suspiciouscoffee said:
Nah, my dad watches me on a map like some Harry Potter shit.  Sometimes I'll even be on the phone with him and he'll ask where I am, so I give him a point of reference and he says "yep, that's what the app says."

This sounds super fucked up typing it out, but I still don't think I'm a stockholm case for just shrugging it off because they're my parents and I think they have the right to know about shit they pay for.  And I'm willing to bet that they won't cut me off for anything shy of actually being outed as gay.
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Dude...that sounds super fucked up because it is super fucked up. They don't have a right to know your exact location at all times. No one does.
 
Also, don't buy my brother any drinks anytime soon.  He and dad talked things out and he's reactivated it.
 
Yeah, like I get it if you're like kidnapped or something and they want to know where you are... but constantly, at all times?  Why?
 
God. My parents never let me attend overnight field trips when I was a kid, but they were never this overprotective.
 
Possessed said:
It's cray. And it's not okay.
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Are you saying suspiciouscoffee's parents are giant crayfish? That might explain their attitude.
 
I know both are "technically" correct,  but we say crawfish around here. I don't want to have this conversation again.
 
Handman said:
It is surprising how often I see parents wanting to track their children.  When my parents were children, they just went outside without a care in the world, and so long as they were home by nightfall, their parents did not give one shit.  What happened?  Freakin' helicopter parenting is the worst, and only sets up children for failure once they reach the real world.
Click to expand...

While I'm firmly in the camp that parents tracking their college-age kids is fucked up, I also feel the need to point out that the world has changed dramatically from when your parents were children.  People used to not even lock their doors.  Now kids invite monsters into the house through the internet.
 
I don't think it's illegal for him to use that to track your phone, especially if he's paying the bills. If you don't want to be tracked, you have the option to turn off the phone.
 
Yeah I'd suggest finding a job and paying for your own phone.  Go top Wal-Mart and get a burner phone for 35 dollars a month.  You don't *have* to be a drug dealer to use one.
 
^, ^^. Those guys are right. If you're an adult, you have a choice to use that phone or not.

It seems like an obvious solution, but I guess it's hard to separate yourself from something you've become accustomed to being dependent on.

I didn't have a cell phone until I was in my 30s, and I can't even imagine dealing with helicopter parents in college. If you want to be treated like an adult, you may have to make some adult decisions.
 
TVs Frink said:
Handman said:
It is surprising how often I see parents wanting to track their children.  When my parents were children, they just went outside without a care in the world, and so long as they were home by nightfall, their parents did not give one shit.  What happened?  Freakin' helicopter parenting is the worst, and only sets up children for failure once they reach the real world.
Click to expand...

While I'm firmly in the camp that parents tracking their college-age kids is fucked up, I also feel the need to point out that the world has changed dramatically from when your parents were children.  People used to not even lock their doors.  Now kids invite monsters into the house through the internet.
Click to expand...

I feel the need to point out two facts.  We don't lock our doors.  And the monsters on the internet are not going to be tracked on a phone app.  I don't think the world -- the physical, real world -- has changed nearly as much as we may think, not really.  Our perceptions of it have.  Nonetheless this is not really a thread for debate and that's all I'm going to say on it.
 
You don't lock your doors?  You're very lucky if you actually live somewhere this is feasible.

I wasn't talking about the internet in relation to the specific phone app.  I'm just saying that things have changed dramatically with technology and it's not really relevant to compare how things are now with how things were when your parents were kids.  Being a parent is way harder now than it used to be.

Again, none of this excuses what I'm hearing about these particular parents though.
 
ThrowgnCpr said:
I didn't have a cell phone until I was in my 30s
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I was 27 when the telephone was invented.
 
TVs Frink said:
You don't lock your doors?  You're very lucky if you actually live somewhere this is feasible.
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I live somewhere like this, no big deal. Remember to smash that like button for peaceful neighborhoods.
 
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