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The Emotional Support Thread

ChainsawAsh

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Inspired by darth_ender's very successful thread over at OT.com, I figured we could use a similar space here at FE.

This thread is for those of us who are going through some tough times and need a safe place to vent or otherwise share what you're going through, and for others to offer their support if they wish to.

Please keep this thread civil. Leave any issues you might have with a member at the door when you enter. Try to be understanding - when someone shares what they're going through in here, don't belittle their problems if they don't seem like "that big a deal" to you. Even small things can be made into mountains by our minds sometimes, and no one's suffering is more or less valid than anyone else's.

I hope this can be a safe place for people to get things off their chest, to get some support or help if that's what they're looking for, and even for others to gain a new perspective or understanding of certain mental health issues by interacting with people who are experiencing them.

EDITED TO ADD: Two more very important points from moderators DigModiFicaTion and TV's Frink which, while both can be found below on this page, I think are important enough to include here in the original post as well:

DigModiFicaTion said:
Just a friendly general reminder that we do not allow discussions on politics. So if your ills or thrills are politically sourced we'd kindly ask you to head to a political support forum out in the interverse. Thanks.

TVs Frink said:
And also to add, this isn't a place for emotional support because of anything that has happened or will happen over on ot.com or any other forum.
 

DigModiFicaTion

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Just a friendly general reminder that we do not allow discussions on politics. So if your ills or thrills are politically sourced we'd kindly ask you to head to a political support forum out in the interverse. Thanks.
 

Zamros

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I just want to let you all know today that you're valid, your feelings are valid, and you deserve whatever happiness you strive to gain. This too shall pass.

 

TV's Frink

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DigModiFicaTion said:
Just a friendly general reminder that we do not allow discussions on politics. So if your ills or thrills are politically sourced we'd kindly ask you to head to a political support forum out in the interverse. Thanks.

And also to add, this isn't a place for emotional support because of anything that has happened or will happen over on ot.com or any other forum.
 

ChainsawAsh

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What both DigMod and Frink said. I'll add them both to the OP.
 

Handman

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I've become a bit political here I suppose.  But it's weighing deeply on my mind after that encounter with the professor.  I've found that no one has felt similarly to me, except that woman (whom I mentioned time and time again in the OT thread).  I didn't have to explain anything.  And, well, it's frustrating to find someone so in tune with your own thoughts, the only person you've ever met to think the same way, only for them to not see the same in you.
 

TV's Frink

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ChainsawAsh said:
What both DigMod and Frink said. I'll add them both to the OP.

Just a heads up, I went back and added "or any other forum" to both my post and your OP.
 

Possessed

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What if it happened at another forum but not because of another forum? What if your husband, wife, or cat is a member of another forum and they said something hurtful about you on it but you aren't a member there? So at that point you would be sad about something that happened on another forum but not because of it. 

Nah I'm just kiddin
 

suspiciouscoffee

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I have a lot of problems.  I'm glad this thread exists, but, man, I don't have the time to go into all my shit right now.  Things are rough right now.
 

TV's Frink

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Gave you a like for moral support.
 

suspiciouscoffee

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I have a lot of family tension that stems from being in the closet and having been raised by extreme fundagelicals, and it's nothing new, but being away for school for so long makes my occasional interaction with them all the more draining.  They still call/text daily, and when I do go home on break, it's miserable.  Mother even interrogated me last break, insisting that I've been acting like I'm hiding something, and it all just makes me want to die.  I'm trying to write about some of my problems in prose and/or screenplays, but it's all coming out shitty and I hate it.  If I came out, I'd be cut off and forced to drop out of school and be homeless, and if I don't, it's going to eat me from inside.  I've also been thinking a lot lately about how I've wasted my entire life hiding, and I will never, ever truly be happy.  My mere existence betrays my family, who mean well no matter how 'phobic they are and how cruel they've been in the past about various things, yet to cease my existence would also be betrayal.  I cannot win.  I can imagine them dying, and me being so wrecked about them never even knowing me, really.  I'm trapped, and I want to die, but I can't make myself do that, and I'm a spineless coward who deserves every shitty thing that has and will happen to me.
 

Handman

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I don't know you personally, but I can say with absolute certainty that you haven't done anything to deserve the hardship you're experiencing.  You don't deserve it.
 

Warbler

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I agree with Handman.  I wish I had some good advice for you, but this problem seems beyond  what I can give advice on.  I can’t imagine how difficult this must be for you.  It sounds like maybe you need from a therapist or something like that.  Maybe there is a group or something that you could talk to at your school or something.
 

Gaith

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^ Agreed. Please seek whatever professional help is available through your school, community, or elsewhere, Coffee-amigo. (As Christopher Hitchens used to say, "Homosexuality is a form of love. And it deserves our respect for that reason." It's just that simple, period, no ifs, ands, or superstitious buts.) Please also know that hospital Emergency Rooms are trained and eager to help persons in emotional as well as physical distress. If you feel you're a danger to yourself or anyone else, please don't hesitate to visit one.

Also - and this may be a controversial notion around here - but have you considered the military? A brief bit about my personal experience lies below.

I'm not a fighter, at all, so I joined the Navy for a four-year hitch seven years ago, and while it wasn't for me in the long term, it did provide a change of pace, career opportunities, and a GI Bill that's paying over half the expenses of my current masters degree - all without witnessing a single firearm discharge outside of one afternoon at the Boot Camp live fire range. The services aren't for everyone, but they treat their members with respect. (With the arguable exception, I'm afraid, of transgender individuals.) If it's an escape from your current life that you need, with the resources, employable skills, and education benefits to build a civilian life later should you choose not to make it a career, the services might be a solid option for you.

If you'd like to discuss the military or anything else, feel free to PM me. And, whatever path you choose, please stay strong and believe in yourself! :)
 

suspiciouscoffee

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Thanks all.  And Gaith, I haven't really thought about it.  I have Marfan syndrome, and I feel like that wouldn't fly.  Thanks, though.
 

Gaith

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^ I'm afraid you're probably right about that. Still, the rest of what I said stands. Courage!  :blush:
 

Handman

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Speaking of...  My cousin turned out to be a lesbian, got married, and joined the Navy to get away from the family and pay for college.  She was the only one in the family who shared the geeky interests with me, so it was sad to see her go, but it was completely understandable given her situation.  Anyway, I suppose what I'm saying is it doesn't seem to be an uncommon choice to join the military when faced with rough situations at home.
 

Duragizer

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Those who know me from ot.com are familiar with my less-than-stellar relationship with my father, and I've made it quite clear I don't love the man, so I don't know if it's right for me to post this here, but I need to get this off my chest.

Three weeks or so ago, my father admitted himself to the hospital. It was discovered he had a serious infection in his kidneys, and so the doctors literally had to drill holes in his kidneys to drain out the piss and puss. He got over the infection, but his kidneys are pretty shot; one of them doesn't appear to be working at all anymore. That wasn't the end of his problems, though. He was also found to have bladder cancer, which has spread to his liver. Due to the poor condition of his kidneys, they can't put him on chemo at the moment, but they might be able to start him on radiation treatment.

Right now, I'm angry at the man. If he hadn't been so stubborn — if he regularly saw the doctor — the cancer could've been caught earlier and treated sooner, same with his kidneys. At the same time, I'm fearful for the future. As I said, I don't love the man, but I don't hate him enough to want him dead or sick, either — especially not of cancer. And at this time of year, in the condemned-in-everything-but-name house we live in, the misery is only amplified.
 

Handman

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That's really strong language.  I don't recall why you hate your father, but it's sad to hear, especially considering it seems you two live in the same house.  My father also refuses to see a doctor.  It's always nerve-wracking to see someone not take care of themselves, especially when they're able to.

I hope he recovers, though it sounds like a really bad situation.  Is it too late to make amends?  Keep us updated.
 

Duragizer

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Handman said:
That's really strong language.  I don't recall why you hate your father, but it's sad to hear, especially considering it seems you two live in the same house.

The reasons are various and sundry, and stretch back to my childhood. In short, he's a bully and a narcissist and a religious fundamentalist.

Is it too late to make amends?

In this life, I think so.
 
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