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The Emotional Support Thread

ssj

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glad to know you're pulling through, neg. much love from me as well.

and hang in there, chainsawash and suspiciouscoffee and everybody else going through a hard time. respect for sharing your stories. and please seek help if you need it.
 

jswert123456

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wasnt aware of this tell theryaney told me about it.
im 43, seems like with each passing month i have more and more new health problems
type2 diabetes, bad hip, major arthritis in legs, horrible back, been having breathing issues. bronchitis for 3 months now
possible visit ti a pulmonologist and a cardiologist
on top of that spent the last 3 yrs taking care of my elderly father whi is basically a 79 year old stubbborn child who  uses
me a a butler and maid starts fights but never admits to any fault in the fight.
a 76 yr old mom in nursing home with dementia and no long
 

jswert123456

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wasnt aware of this tell theryaney told me about it.
im 43, seems like with each passing month i have more and more new health problems
type2 diabetes, bad hip, major arthritis in legs, horrible back, been having breathing issues. bronchitis for 3 months now
possible visit ti a pulmonologist and a cardiologist
on top of that spent the last 3 yrs taking care of my elderly father whi is basically a 79 year old stubbborn child who  uses
me a a butler and maid starts fights but never admits to any fault in the fight.
a 76 yr old mom in nursing home with dementia and no long mobile.
our house thanks to my parents has 39 grand in property taxes, needs many repairs, 
no home or health insurance of any kind.
my parents worked hard when they worked but they spent above their means, and neither
have any life insurance or anything left to me and my older brother cept this house thats badly
falling apart and me worried  bout my future.
 

jswert123456

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sorry for the double post, my new black lab puppy hit my hand and i accidently posted that first post.
 

L8wrtr

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I've been away from FE for a long time with the occasional dip in here and there. Life just works that way where your priorities have to be elsewhere. Upon returning, this is one of the most wonderful threads I've ever seen. I know.. mushy mushy, but wanted to thank @"ChainsawAsh" for creating it. I'm thankful to not need it at present, but even more thankful that it now exists for those that can benefit from it. This community always amazes me... and usually in good ways ;)

And @"Neglify", you rock. Always.
 

Handman

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This is all small fry in the grand scheme of things, but it is preventing me from leading a fulfilling life, and I'm growing more bitter by the hour...

I don't really have anything going on in my life. Just working on classwork for unfulfilling classes, rejected for jobs, staying away from people, etc.

And the burning desire to be great is left burning and unsatisfied.

I'm paying for my own recklessness now.  The world is cruel.  I had fun for the first time in ages freshman year of college and it's followed me for ages, leaving nothing substantial for me now, and now I'm in purgatory, working for a less valuable degree, surrounded by morons, in the hopes it'll get better years down the line.  I'm not religious, but as far as I can tell, the Catholic belief that if you sin, you will be punished seems to apply to everything.

That punishment isn't necessarily applied after death...
 

Captain Khajiit

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Handman said:
I don't really have anything going on in my life. Just working on classwork for unfulfilling classes...

That's something of substance right there.  The course (whatever it is) might not be the one that you wish you were on, but it will give you something to show for your time.  And completing a course will demonstrate something about you to others, even if it's just that you can stick something out.  Try to stay positive.
 

Handman

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Yes, but that still leaves about 20 hours a day of doing nothing...  I am bored with these classes, it consists of listening to the teachers drone on about whatever they want.  There's nothing challenging or remotely interesting about it.  I'm not getting anything out of them, I'm learning nothing, all in the hopes of getting a degree which may or may not be worthless.  Only time will tell.
 

Captain Khajiit

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Handman said:
Yes, but that still leaves about 20 hours a day of doing nothing...

Read around the subject matter then.
Learn a language.
Do some voluntary work.
Find a hobby.

What's important is to try to take small steps.  Do one or two things each day that will help you to feel better about yourself, and build up from there.
 

Handman

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I do, and have done, all of that.  It doesn't help.
 

Handman

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I have.  But I don't want to be content with my current situation.  I want to change it.  The problem is anything I do backfires or leads to more nothing.
 

suspiciouscoffee

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Take up writing.  I'm currently trying to write a semi-autobiographical screenplay (which isn't the first time, but it's the first time I'm not trying to hide behind genre and am just making a straightforward dramatic telling of my life and a hypothetical future).  It's terrible, but dammit I'm gonna finish it if it kills me.
 

Gaith

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Hiya, Neg! Hope you're well, hombre. :)

What classes are you taking, Handman? I majored in History as an undergrad, and while I enjoyed it at the time and don't regret having done so, per se, it certainly didn't do all that much for my career prospects. In fact, I'm now in my first semester of nursing school. (But it's a Master's program, so my History BA qualified for that, at least - after 1.5 years of additional, post-undergrad community college pre-reqs, that is.)

Now, the nursing profession isn't exactly my passion in life. I'd much rather be a big-shot Hollywood movie director. But, I also really don't want to be a perpetually broke gig-to-gig hustler, never breaking through to the big time, only to wind up a long-term production assistant or something, who's grown to resent the whole industry for being exactly as competitive and brutal as I've always intuitively known it to be. Instead, I'm pretty confident - not certain, but pretty confident - that I'll enjoy nursing at least enough to take pride and satisfaction in my day-to-day work, and that I'll definitely enjoy the good pay, job security, and wealth of opportunities this RN-plus degree will bring. As this wise Cracked article says, "follow your pain." 

There are two questions I like to ask people, from coworkers to first dates to new friends and generally pretty much everyone - which are arguably one question, phrased differently.

1) If you could have any job in the world simply handed to you, on a silver platter, what would it be? (You don't have to be qualified for said job on Day One - you can apprentice/intern your way intro proficiency on a reasonable schedule, so long as you show enthusiasm and put in the work. So you can choose "brain surgeon" if you like, meaning you'll get all the classes/training/expert private tutoring and eventual job placement you'll need, but you'll still have to pass the same vocational exams everyone else does.)

2) If you won the lottery today, and your lump sum, post-tax bank account was an even $10 Million US dollars, what would you do?
 

Handman

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suspiciouscoffee said:
Take up writing.  I'm currently trying to write a semi-autobiographical screenplay (which isn't the first time, but it's the first time I'm not trying to hide behind genre and am just making a straightforward dramatic telling of my life and a hypothetical future).  It's terrible, but dammit I'm gonna finish it if it kills me.

I really like this suggestion.  I've enjoyed writing, but have always found an excuse not to, or procrastinated or all that, but I do really enjoy working the English language.  I just have to force myself to focus.  Thanks!


Gaith said:
What classes are you taking, Handman? I majored in History as an undergrad, and while I enjoyed it at the time and don't regret having done so, per se, it certainly didn't do all that much for my career prospects. In fact, I'm now in my first semester of nursing school. (But it's a Master's program, so my History BA qualified for that, at least - after 1.5 years of additional, post-undergrad community college pre-reqs, that is.)

Ah, I have a lot of love for history majors.  The people I've gotten along with the best have been history majors.  In fact, the only people at this university I could consider friends are all  history majors.  It's a subject I'm very passionate about myself, having a pretty good memory helps.  But it's not something I've ever considered majoring in myself, more to study in my own time and at my leisure, for as you said, it doesn't help much in career prospects. 

I'm currently studying Information Technology, after a few years of being forced into an engineering major.  I chose this major logistically, as I could have done Computer Science, but figured I wanted to be done and get out of this stage of my life as soon as possible, and I perceived the benefits of a CS degree to be negligible against possibly taking much longer to complete.  Unfortunately, nobody seems to know what they're doing, and it's aggravating.  No one has any motivation to learn and they're overall... well, ignorant, full-of-themselves, children (you'd have to see it to believe it).  And the classes aren't any better.  I'm currently in two general eds, which are complete garbage; one math class, which is really elementary (I took more advanced classes while in engineering, but am required to take this specific class for my major, ah, bureaucracy at work); and one actual IT class, with a professor who doesn't seem to know what he's doing.  My grades are set, but, man, is it frustrating.

And you know what really pisses me off?  Hearing that you had to take an additional 1.5 years of pre-reqs before being able to do what you want, after having received a Bachelors degree.  That's a lot of time spent doing something other than what you ought to be doing.  This college system here really needs a rework.  We spend years in useless classes, filled with wackjob teachers who are nowhere near as qualified as they should be, in the hopes that this piece of paper will land us a job.  And it often doesn't.  So what is it all for?  To increase your chances, because without one you haven't got a shot.  It's all so... miserable, isn't it?

I have to commend you for going into nursing, it's something I would never be able to do.  My mother, her brother, and her mother were all nurses, and it's hard work.  I'm not a good enough people person to ever do that.  So, I wish you luck in that pursuit.


There are two questions I like to ask people, from coworkers to first dates to new friends and generally pretty much everyone - which are arguably one question, phrased differently.

1) If you could have any job in the world simply handed to you, on a silver platter, what would it be? (You don't have to be qualified for said job on Day One - you can apprentice/intern your way intro proficiency on a reasonable schedule, so long as you show enthusiasm and put in the work. So you can choose "brain surgeon" if you like, meaning you'll get all the classes/training/expert private tutoring and eventual job placement you'll need, but you'll still have to pass the same vocational exams everyone else does.)

This is easy for me, film preservation in some form, be it actually handling the film, working with it digitally to restore it, or archiving it.  This requires a Masters, which I'll have to fund entirely on my own, so it's a long way off for me now.  With how important the digital side is, and having been pushed into an engineering type field for my undergrad, I felt IT made the most sense for the undergrad, to gain a technical background, and get a solid career to pay for that further education.  How viable this all is, realistically, I've no idea, and I haven't had any help in figuring it out.  But I know I want to be involved with it.

2) If you won the lottery today, and your lump sum, post-tax bank account was an even $10 Million US dollars, what would you do?

I'd pay off my parent's house and car, and help them renovate the house they're currently trying to sell.  That is, if they'd let me.  That should leave a good $9.5 million, I should think.  I'd see how I could help my grandmother, if she wants to move out of the house she's lived in for well over half a century.  I'd pay off my tuition.  Then I'd indulge on the more selfish desires of mine.  I'd get a new car, or at least one in better condition than what I currently drive.  I'd buy my own house, an old house.  Nothing fancy.

But I think I'd still be stuck in these classes, and alone.  Only difference is I'd have people asking me for money.  $10 million is too much, really.  I'd save the rest and see if I could invest it somewhere, and donate whatever is leftover.  I'd help fund the projects of people like poita, Mike Verta, and Team Negative1, and try to learn from there.  I could possibly make campaign contributions and gain a foothold there... start local and work my way up to federal...
 

Gaith

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Handman said:
And you know what really pisses me off?  Hearing that you had to take an additional 1.5 years of pre-reqs before being able to do what you want, after having received a Bachelors degree.

Eh, some, like Anatomy, Physiology, and Microbiology, were necessary. Others were indeed wastes of time, however. Did I really need to learn how to read the periodic table and balance chemical equations? I don't think so... but I did. (And have since forgotten most of the same.)



Handman said:
This is easy for me, film preservation in some form, be it actually handling the film, working with it digitally to restore it, or archiving it.  This requires a Masters, which I'll have to fund entirely on my own, so it's a long way off for me now.  With how important the digital side is, and having been pushed into an engineering type field for my undergrad, I felt IT made the most sense for the undergrad, to gain a technical background, and get a solid career to pay for that further education.  How viable this all is, realistically, I've no idea, and I haven't had any help in figuring it out.  But I know I want to be involved with it.

Hey, it's great you've at least got such a specific idea of what you'd most like to do. And if it requires a Masters, you can figure out how much you'd need to save up to complete such a course of study. You can compare that to what you can expect to earn in IT, and work out a rough budget/time frame for all that. You might conclude, as I did with film school, that it's not worth the privations and potential pitfalls, but either way, the exercise might help to put things in perspective.



Handman said:
But I think I'd still be stuck in these classes, and alone

With $10m?! You wouldn't be stuck anywhere! You could travel the world if you liked. You could pay yourself to get that film preservation degree, and then force a leading such company to hire you with a suitable charitable donation. You could buy that mix German Shepherd/Labrador puppy, and finance Indiana Jones fan films starring yoursel - oh, wait, never mind, started talking about me for a minute there. :p  As I like to say, "Dream without limits; only negotiate with reality."

Believe me, as someone who's spent most of my adulthood waiting for something or the other (to get into college, to get into the Navy, to get out of the Navy, to get into nursing school, to be done with nursing school...), I know how frustrating it can be to trudge along at the pace Life imposes on you. But one thing that's always kept me going is having a particular mission/achievable destination in mind, even if I've changed course several times along the way. So, uh, be sure to always do that too? :cool:
 

suspiciouscoffee

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So I slept in today.  Didn't have class until 3 PM (and, as it would turn out, even that was cancelled so I had the day off from class altogether), so sleeping in until noon sounded nice.  My parents were up to visit this weekend, and it was tiresome as usual, putting on a straight face and pretending everything was normal (pun definitely intended), so I figured sleeping in a bit wouldn't hurt.  So I woke up around noon and checked my phone.

I had 7 missed calls and a slew of texts.

My parents must have thought I died last night or something, they were freaked the fuck out.  They called RAs that I later had to convince that everything was fine, they were upset and telling me to get counseling, thinking I'm in a depressed fit when I'm no worse than usual and have no intention to tell them that anything is not perfectly okay as it'd require outing myself.

It's bad enough my dad has a fucking tracker installed on my phone so they can see where I am at all times, but now this?  Jesus, they're so fucking paranoid, and I'm so fucking tired of it.  I know they mean well, but Christ, I wish they would calm down for just five damn minutes.
 

theryaney

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@"suspiciouscoffee" Many parents are like that. If they go that far, that means they really care for you. However, if you think it's too much for you, you might want to have a quiet sit down and discuss the matter with them. They should understand.
 

Handman

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My family is a bunch of animals.  They throw tantrums, they break things, and today, one of them scratched my face.  I have no love left for them, which is a shame, because I was  almost sure family was important or something.  As soon as I have a good paying job, they're going to be cut off completely.  Unfortunately, it is the only way to move forward.
 
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