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SHURI : Black Panther II - shortened and focused - complete

tremault said:
Okay, so skipping through the movie just now, here are my thoughts.

  • I feel it is important to include more references to Killmonger from the start of the movie.
  • I'd like to remove Ramonda taking Okoye's position from her. Unfortunately, this could result in losing that reference to Killmonger....
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Going back to my idea on peppering the intro with clips from the last movie, you could also use the clip of Kilmonger telling T'Challa to "bury me in the ocean with my brothers & sisters, 'cause they knew that death was better than bondage." Furhter highlights that while T'Challa was good he wasn't perfect, & foreshadows the backstory of the Talokani having been Mayans who escaped Spanish colonialism.

As for Ross, I do like Val's point about how great America would be if they had all of Wakanda's Vibranium (furhtering Namor's point about the world wanting to subvert Wakanda than go through proper channels), & I like that there's a deleted scene of Ross deleting the US governments knowledge about Riri Williams' Vibrnium tracker.

However, I can see how that would make the movie more bloated, so you can probably just have a post-creit scene of Val showing up at Ross' house, having him arrested, & the Wakandans breaking him out.
 
I think cutting out all of the stuff with Martin Freeman and the CIA is the best idea, but reducing some of the Riri stuff wouldn’t hurt either. Those are the 2 things that didn’t work for me. Unfortunately you can’t cut all of the Riri stuff otherwise the film wouldn’t make sense, but I think you can get away with cutting all of the Martin Freeman/CIA stuff. All of that is so unnecessary.
 
tremault said:
well to go from Namor saying "find the scientist" to them at the school having found her, it would be way too easy and leave viewers questioning. Ross needs to be there in that jogging scene. for the rest of them... hmm yes you have a point there. I was thinking that exposition was necessary but having a quick look now, it isn't really necessary for the story is it? Who cares what the US government is planning? The film isn't about that. Unless it adds weight to Namor's narrative.
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Yeah, keep that one Ross scene but nix the rest. That's what I'd do
 
Taking a preliminary look at these proposed edits today,
there seems to be an issue with removing all Ross' scenes. particularly when Ramonda calls Namor to the beach, she specifically talks to him about the American threat. I had a feeling this Ross plotline was more involved than it may initially seem. not only that, but the movie feels very intense with just the one throughline. it feels like it needs to have momentary breaks from what Shuri and Ramonda and Namor are doing. Ross' story just gives a little bit of a breather. it could well benefit from having portions trimmed out, but I feel it is good to have it there.
 
I'm starting to feel good about this.
I'm especially pleased by this moment. I feel it has so much more impact than the original version.
 
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I like it! It flows together nicely, and moving the Kilmonger sequence to later gets us Shuri in the suit that much earlier.
 
tremault said:
I had a feeling this Ross plotline was more involved than it may initially seem.
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If the script is anything to go by, not really. There's two deleted scenes, where Ross infiltrates the NSA to wipe Riri's laptop (which is on the Blu-Ray) and another where he contacts Shuti after the Queen's death.

KNdddtl.png


Assuming this script I have (dated May 2021) is accurate to what was shot, there would of been about the same amount of Ross.
Elaine would of arrested him right at the end of the film too (instead of right after the queen's death) with Okoye coming in to save him in the very next scene.
 
thanks for that, it's fascinating!

I may have given the wrong impression with my words though. What I meant was, on immediate recollection, it seems like Ross' scenes are superfulous, but upon examination, it becomes apparent that without them I cannot include Ramonda's conversation with Namor on the beach, or perhaps that scene can be edited.

I personally feel that the cutaways to Ross adds value, even if it is only for a breather.
 
Quick update; I've currently removed around 25 minutes. The sequences I've worked on flow pretty well.

This is what I currently have for the final fight. The audio needs some work at the start, but I think the rest works okay. It's difficult to account for how the original kept cutting away. I used some zooms and pans to try and carry the movement through where the original cut away. I think it helps disguise some of those discrepancies, but the result is still kinda choppy. I don't have any other ideas so I think it may be a case of accepting the choppiness or abandoning it. I did try a version where the cut backs to the battle are stripped down drasticaly, but it still ruins the Shuri fight and I just wouldn't be happy with the project if I had to leave them in. There might be alternatives, if anyone has any suggestions?

I do have one idea... just came to me now... I could cut away from the battle to something else entirely. Something that may be on Shuri's mind. That could work, IF the current edit is too choppy. That's only IF.
 
This end bit with the montages was an absolute tragedy for me. I couldn't really make head nor tail of why these different shots were spliced together and it just felt pointless to me. a lot of study led me to understand what Ryan was TRYING to do, but it absolutely did not work IMO. I decided to rework the whole thing, giving sequences time to actually build narrative. When I finished it and watched it back, I cried like a baby. Yep, this works so much better for me.

 
I felt that this boat scene is long and boring. I've made it more expedient here, but I guess I'm a little tired and I'm feeling uneasy about it and not sure exactly why, could be just me being tired.
One particular part, I took out the shots of the goons because it seems dumb to show the goons before the big guy, but also, because those shots are simply dorky as hell and not threatening. not seeing them seems threatening, but it might not work so well here and I may need a POV shot. I do have a potential candidate so I'm not afraid, but I would like some feedback before I do anything.

5 minutes cut down to 3 minutes.
 
Been away for awhile, so playing catch up. First video does feel a bit chopy, but I'm not entirely sure what you could cut too to make the fight feel less sporadic. Second video was good, thought I wasn't a fan of the one scene where Namor chuckles a bit, & there's bit between seeing Namor as a child & Shuri in her lab where there's a second of a blackness that took me out of the scene. Third video, I think you could cut out the mention of the jellyfish, since I don't think it ties into anything else from the movie.
 
Nic said:
Been away for awhile, so playing catch up. First video does feel a bit chopy, but I'm not entirely sure what you could cut too to make the fight feel less sporadic. Second video was good, thought I wasn't a fan of the one scene where Namor chuckles a bit, & there's bit between seeing Namor as a child & Shuri in her lab where there's a second of a blackness that took me out of the scene. Third video, I think you could cut out the mention of the jellyfish, since I don't think it ties into anything else from the movie.
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Nice to see you :)
Thanks for the feedback, I really appreciate it ^^
Ok so it's not just me, it is choppy. So I was thinking of moving the shot of her dead mother earlier so it is like her thoughts while she is fighting him, but I think it feels weird and isolated. I was playing with a fade to black, almost like she is losing herself in the fight like lapses in consciousness. That's actually what I was doing with the montage, but I see that isn't having the desired effect, so I'll remove that.
The shot of namor laughing too, that is in the original but where I've moved it doesn't fit right so I'll pick an alternate shot.

The jellyfish! okay :)
well the reason I did that was because there is audio overlap with an important piece of dialogue and I tried cutting that and the shot became too short. I can figure something out though I am sure, I am kinda pleased that you didn't mention anything to do with the spear hitting the general(?) as that is two shots spliced together with some reframing and I was wondering if the flow would work well. I liked how it felt and it seems it's not a problem so big bonus!!
 
"Who cares what the US government is planning?"

Yeah, much of that stuff with Ross felt like a setup to Talokan+Wakanda against the US in the final 20 mins (the fourth act that's become so popular), then...nothing. I agree: It feels like boilerplate for the next movie/tv/whatever. I'd be interested in seeing a more focused narrative.

I wonder about a version that quietly ends without any conflict at all. I watched No Country for Old Men again recently, and damn...that type of ending leaves a mark.
 
futon88 said:
"Who cares what the US government is planning?"

Yeah, much of that stuff with Ross felt like a setup to Talokan+Wakanda against the US in the final 20 mins (the fourth act that's become so popular), then...nothing. I agree: It feels like boilerplate for the next movie/tv/whatever. I'd be interested in seeing a more focused narrative.

I wonder about a version that quietly ends without any conflict at all. I watched No Country for Old Men again recently, and damn...that type of ending leaves a mark.
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I'm going to have to watch that. It's been stuck in my head since it first came out but for some reason never actually sat down for it.

no conflict though... I can't even fathom how that would work. How would everything get resolved... oh! I mean with reshoots, yes the whole thing could be resolved through diplomatic means, by showing Namor that Wakanda is now protected again, and by ensuring that his issues are mostly addressed. yeah, that would certainly make things interesting. or something else. america finds talokan and the black panther comes to defend them.

I'd really like to remove the Ross parts, but it would leave so many issues in it's wake. Mainly it's the parts with Shuri in Talokan, there is a lot there, without any cutaways. with removing Nakia's subplot, and removing Ross' subplot, it leaves just Shuri with Namor and then the part with Ramonda talking to Namor on the beach. unless you have any ideas how I can deal with those scenes of Shuri and Namor back to back? I can work on it some more for sure, I can try and come up with some solutions if you think it's important. I mean.. yeah it's clear that it's important.
 
JUst watched this movie and it is really unengaging. Probably best character is queen Ramonda, unfortunately I do not see Shuri as interesting or likable character so to me, there is no way this can be fixed.

Also, the thing with being pierced by spear with no real effect - what the hell was that?
 
tremault said:
I felt that this boat scene is long and boring. I've made it more expedient here, but I guess I'm a little tired and I'm feeling uneasy about it and not sure exactly why, could be just me being tired.
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If you're not feeling the boat scene, maybe just cut away to Shuri & Ramonda at the river. Then, when Namor shows up to explain ab out the Vibrnium detector, you briefly cut back to the action beats of the boat scene to explain that he & his people destroyed it. As George Lucas said, "faster, more intense."
 
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