Here?s my Gaming Year End List that NOBODY was asking for!
Best Xbox/Xbox 360 Game
Gears Of War
Why It Made My List
Tight controls, compelling apocolyptic storyline, jaw dropping graphics, real time lighting, genius AI ? I could go on and on. While this game isn?t the second coming of Halo that everyone called it, it does offer a few new things to the FPS genre like on-the-fly tactical elements, some cool futuristic weapons and excellent level design to make it feel fresh and new.
It?s almost like Halo, Doom and Ghost Recon went out drinking one night, got really hammered and had a one-night stand ? Gears Of War is the bastard child.
Why It Almost Didn?t Make My List
Sweet Zombie Jesus is this game gay. From the festishized, overmuscled and sweaty male torsos, to the exaggerated macho dialogue and phallic imagery galore, this game is one homoerotic frag fest. To boot, the only female character in the game wears this skimpy dress of sorts. Hey sweet cheeks, listen up ? it?s the middle of the end of the human race?couldn?t you find any size 6 body armour laying around anywhere? Sheesh.
Runner Up ? Dead Rising. Best zombie killing game not starting in Resident and ending in Evil.
Best GameCube Game Not Called Zelda
Lego Star Wars II ? The Original Trilogy
Why It Made My List
It?s Star Wars. It?s Lego. It?s got TaunTauns. What more do you want? Not only did this game have a super smart interface to make navigating the Star Wars Galaxy easy, the level design and layout were so logical it was sublime. The true testament to this game is the vehicle combat, which, to date, has never been nailed this amazingly in a Star Wars game before. The controls are intuitive, and this finally gave back something that?s been missing from anything to do with Star Wars in the last 10 years ? a sense of humour. This game also showcased the hardware ability of the GameCube as she fades into the sunset?
Why It Almost Didn?t Make My List
Fooking hell the Endor level was frustrating. Memo to Chewie ? get the hell out of my way.
Runner Up ? Resident Evil 4 ? Yeah, yeah, it?s a 2005 game but who cares? Show me a better GameCube game, I dare you. I?m still playing it almost 2 years later, so what does that tell you?
Best Nintendo DS Game
The New Super Mario Bros.
Why It Made My List
It?s 2006. Nintendo releases a 2D sidescrolling platform game. Not only is that as rare as a Unicorn shooting rainbows and gold out of its? ass, but it?s the best Mario game ever. Seriously. It?s essentially a remake of pretty much every Mario game thus far, but it manages to feel fresh and unique. The music is also incredible ? it has enough new tunes with the classic Mario themes interwoven into them and leans on the nostalgia button?just?right. This game is to the Nintendo DS what Super Mario 64 was to the Nintendo 64. If you don?t have this in your collection ? shame on you.
Why It Almost Didn?t Make My List This game gets super hard on later levels, which may be off putting for casual gamers, and the mini-games are like crack, but some of them are useless (Balloon blowing only makes you spit on your DS?Bah!)
Runner Up ? Elite Beat Agents ? A completely original rhythmic screen tapper that makes the best use of the DS? hardware to date. Frustrating as hell, but rewarding and fun.
Best PC Game
Elder Scrolls: Oblivion
Why It Made My List
I played this title on the Xbox 360, but from what I?ve heard and read it?s pretty much the same experience on PC. This is the kind of world you can get lost in for days. Ever have one of those games where when you?re not playing it, you?re thinking about it? This is one such title.
Bethesda did a really great job of creating an immersive RPG that had enough depth to engage hardcore RPGer?s, but was also balanced enough to let first timers into the world. I partially credit the innovative on-the-fly difficulty slider, but while I came for the leveling up, I stayed for the sense of humour and engaging quests.
Why It Almost Didn?t Make My List
This game is plagued by constant updates (on the PC and Xbox 360), repetitive dungeons and relatively short campaign. It was enough to be annoying but not enough to make me put the game aside and not want to finish it.
Runner Up ? Battlefield 2142 Fun at LAN parties but I totally suck at it.
Best PlayStation 2 Game
Call Of Duty 3
Why It Made My List
Because I didn?t spend enough time with Final Fantasy XII yet. I stress yet.
COD3 has enough of the series? trademark intense action, and like no other WWII shooter before truly captures the chaos and confusion of the battlefront. This game keeps you on your toes at all times, letting you breath at just the right moments. Despite being released across multiple consoles, COD3 benefits most on the PS2 because it showcases what the system can do after all these years. I?ve not seen a better playing game or graphics on the PS2.
Why It Almost Didn?t Make My List
Because I almost bought it for the 360 but opted for the cheaper PS2 version.
Runner Up ? Okami - Gorgeous level design and art, but I tired of the wolf schtick too soon.
That?s all folks. What are your top/bottom gaming picks for the years two thousand and six?
I wish I had a PS3 or a Wii to add them to my reviews, but the bank says I have no more overdraft left. Assholes. I hear good things about Resistance on the PS3, and there?s some title called?what was it??...oh yeah, Zelda on the Wii that?s been getting some buzz?