Steel of Man. Restructured, Regraded, Rekindled!

[Nic]

I like the second clip, thought I feel we see to much of Clark's blurry face. I'd experiment with either making quicker trims so we see less of his face or imply that Lois's eyesight is failing her because she's going into shock.

The first clip feels...weird. As if we're meant to be tracking the helicopter as it moves from the boat to the oil rig, but the camera fell asleep & now has to play catchup with the dynamic zooms.

I guess what hurts is that I also don't know the context, fully. You say you're trying to cut Clark out of it, so does it take place before or after we meet Lois. If the later, is this part of a flashback we see later on? If so, from who's PoV are we viewing the flashback from, Calrk or one of the fisherman telling Lois the story? If Clark, how does he know what the fisherman said? If the fisherman why not start the flashback from inside the oil rig?

 

[tremault]

Thanks, I'll take a look at shortening those clips of his face.

ok great, context, yes that's important. So, this is after she decides to go searching for man of mystery. I wanted to include at least one story of heroism before she meets Pete Ross. Oil rig was the obvious choice. So I cut right after she talks to the captain on the dock, right before she talks to the coastguard. the assumption is, this is what the captain told her. I feel like the dialogue between the captain and the coastguard is pretty good at laying out the situation. I listened to each line of dialogue and didn't feel like any could be cut. but during that dialogue is a shot of Clark entering the bridge. I looked for other insert footage, but there doesn't seem to be anything that fits. so I tried to extend that shot instead. I understand what you're saying though, so I guess it doesn't work. No worries, I'll find some other solution.
perhaps I can do some cross cutting with the guys inside the oil rig... It's maybe a possibility. I can remove the part where mystery man climbs the rig and instead, when the captain looks around to find 'greenhorn' is gone, it cuts straight back to door being ripped open. That might work.

 

[VortexUnlimited]

With some minor adjustments like camera shakes and motion blur I think the first clip can look really good. The second clip also works really well, and would definitely be improved by Nic's suggestions. Maybe also some audio effect and blur effect so it seems like she's losing consciousness. Really cool idea.

Really interested in seeing how these clips work in the context of the edit.

I wanted to include at least one story of heroism before she meets Pete Ross.

I wonder if there's any scenes from Superman and Lois that might work? I'm not sure if there are any good scenes of Clark saving people without the suit on, but maybe a montage of Superman saving people could work. The blu-ray is pretty hard to track down though.

 

[tremault]

Thanks!

yes, I have thought a couple of times that Superman and Lois has a similar style and could work. Although the UK only started airing season 2 this week, so I won't know if any of that season would have anything and I don't want to spoil any of it for myself.

I'm not yet sure of where I'm placing his first wearing of the suit, or how the rest of the edit will play out. it's definitely worth keeping in mind.

 

[tremault]

well here's how it looks with a bit of cross cutting anyway. I think it's kinda nice and it shortens the length of the flashback which is nice.

 

[tremault]

wow, I think I just got this done, in the 'broad strokes' sense. I got the main structure down I think.

* Opening credits
* Snow, Lois arrives, sees mystery man enter ship, follows, gets injured, rescued.
* Ship leaves
* Title
* Lois talks to Perry White.
* Lois talks to Glen Woodburn
* Lois investigates the mystery man, meets fishing boat captain
* flashback to mystery man/ greenhorn rescuing men from burning oil rig
* Lois meets Pete Ross
* flashback to Pete Ross being rescued by 'Clark Kent' and meeting Clark's parents.
* Lois visits Kent farm, arrives at Jonathan Kent's grave and meets Clark Kent. (just under 15 minutes in)
* flashback to Jonathan telling Clark about his concerns and showing him the small ship he arrived in
* Lois tells Perry she is dropping the story
* Clark returns to Kent farm and tells his Mom he found his parents
* flashback to North pole, meeting Jor El
* during flashback, nested flashback to the events on Krypton, up to Clark's ship closing
* flashback continues, showing Clark learning to fly
* return to conversation with mother
* Zod's ship arrives and message to earth
* Lois is detained by FBI
* Superman arrives at army base, talks to Lois, surrenders to humanity, handed over to Faora
* Superman arrives on ship, meets Zod and loses consciousness
* Zod appears in Superman's head and tells him of his arrest
* flashback to Zod arriving to stop Jor El, fighting Jor El, getting captured, trialled, and sent to phantom zone
* finish inside Superman's head
* escape from Zod's ship
* protect smallville
* Clark returns to Mom, very concerned
* flashback to tornade and death of Jonathan
* Lois has a plan
* Superman goes to stop world engine
* Lois and military destroy Zod's ship
* Superman fights Zod
* end

obviously there are other small edits to remove violence and other stuff. But that is the general structure.
and of course, I still have a ton more editing to do. I haven't touched much of the end, I just know that those scenes are in the general location I want them.

edit : on reflection and some scaning through my timeline, I'm a tad uneasy about making a flashback of when Clark meets Jor El. It needs to come after he meets Lois though so that's the dilemma. If I'm following Lois until she meets Clark, then I can't have such a personal sequence any earlier than that. Then shortly after they meet, he returns to the farm and tells his Mom "I found them". That's where I put the flashback because I feel like this is the only place I can put it. It's just that the flashback feels rather heavy. Maybe it'll be fine in context.

 

[Nic]

Much better clip (trimming out Cavill's head is weird, but I think I can get used to it).

I agree with your concern about the flashback to Jor-El, because then your transitioning into a flashback within a flashback, which are always tricky and tend to feel more off than not. I'll say more when I've had more sleep & can properly articulate my thoughts.

 

[tremault]

That might not be the main issue, it might just be a case of overburdening it. It may be that I just need to trim these bits or colour grade them in some way or just do something clear and obvious to reduce the cognitive load.

In any case the flashback within a flashback... might not be an issue, as I edited it as a part of Jor El's storybook sequence. and it might be easy to swallow.

 

[Nic]

Good use of bridging everything together, though I don't like how the music just cuts out in the second clip. I also wonder if, as baby Clark's pod is closing, you could have v.o. of Clark asking "why didn't you come with me," then cut to him & Jor-El walking in the hallway.

 

[tremault]

Thanks, appreciate it! yes, the music cuts out there, I'll have to use the track from the OST to replace it.

I could cut to that line, but I really like dissolving from similar shot to similar shot. I feel it ties it together quite well. especially when I adjust the colour like I did with the first clip.

 

[tremault]

https://imgur.com/sR3DZ87

Honestly... who would say this?? Nobody truly believes they are immoral. Faora would obviously believe she is acting on the moral imperative to protect Krypton.
This is where I'm currently up to by the way. I don't really have anything specific I want to share, it's mostly been a case of trimming shots I don't like, tightening up pacing, removing the military to a large degree.
I suppose I could share this...
The flashbacks are now in this style to keep them visually distinct. They are intended to resemble old style home film cameras, but subtle.

https://imgur.com/gqsw58M

More recent flashbacks also resemble technology of the time, so the oil rig flashback is a narrower frame and less rounded corners to feel more like VHS. the flashback to his meeting Jor-El in the ship is only like a day ago, so no visual style is used there.

 

[lantern51]

I was sold on MOS when TM2YC did his cut, but this is making me want to revisit the movie once again with your cut! I really like some of the ideas you are bring forth here!

 

[lantern51]

BTW.. don't know if this was thought up or not but 2 things that always bothered me and no one has seem to address is 1. On the fishing boat the guy tackles Clark to get him out of harms way. That should have been like hitting a brick wall and the guy should have bounced off Clark.
2. The ending when Supes snaps Zod's neck can feel more emotional if you cut between Superman looking at the family and then showing Clark as a kid on the farm with his family to show the parallels and make it feel like it's hitting home more.

Obviously you don't have to change either of these things, it's your edit. I just noticed that you were looking for ideas and feedback generally speaking.

 

[tremault]

Thanks, I appreciate your thoughts, it's always useful to get more prompts, or more understanding of what some people disliked,
The bit that shows Clark on the boat, is not present in my edit. It felt unnecessary so I only show a small bit of the deck activity and then cut straight to the captain.
My plan for that end bit is to include some callbacks to the tornado scene. My intention is to have Zod and his generals resemble a tornado in that they are relentless and cannot be reasoned with. I'll post a clip.

 

[tremault]

This is the sequence I did a little earlier, removing the garbage dialogue and making the action more relentless.

 

[ArtisDead]

Absolutely love the coloring, that intro is wicked cool.

 

[tremault]

Much thanks ^^

Ok well I got a clear idea of structure now, as everything is in place, so the main structure is as follows.

intro

Snowy place + ship

Lois searches for Mystery man (oil rig flashback and Pete Ross flashback)

Clark tells Lois of talk with father (and introduction of Clark's ship)

Daily Planet, dropping story

Clark recounts meeting with father to his Mom (flashback of krypton)

Zod arrives

Lois at military base

Zod ship (flashback of Zod's trial )

Smallvile chaos

Clark talks to Mom, equating the Kryptonians to the tornado

World Engine (this scene not yet colour graded)

Fight with Zod in Metropolis.

full gallery with more images. (3 are not graded yet. world engine, guy in front of Clarks ship, and Lois and Clark getting snuggly)

https://imgur.com/a/AzTwGro

 

[tremault]

It's a real shame I have to take Lawrence Fishburne out of this. I frikkin' love his performance.
A tribute to the lawrence Fishburne scenes.

edit: Perhaps I'll do an end credits scene; The Ballad of Perry White...​

 

[tremault]

I'd like some feedback on this sequence please. I've altered framing, grading( just contrast so far), and cut most of the wanton destruction here.

some notes; at the beginning, I added some dutch tilt to add to the uneasiness and gave Zod some extreme close ups rather than regular close ups. I love his performance here and I really feel like it makes Zod a more compelling villain when we can really feel his emotion.

 

[lantern51]

I'd like some feedback on this sequence please. I've altered framing, grading( just contrast so far), and cut most of the wanton destruction here.

some notes; at the beginning, I added some dutch tilt to add to the uneasiness and gave Zod some extreme close ups rather than regular close ups. I love his performance here and I really feel like it makes Zod a more compelling villain when we can really feel his emotion.

I agree, I think the close ups work really well and that focus on him you do feel his pain more. Great job!