• Most new users don't bother reading our rules. Here's the one that is ignored almost immediately upon signup: DO NOT ASK FOR FANEDIT LINKS PUBLICLY. First, read the FAQ. Seriously. What you want is there. You can also send a message to the editor. If that doesn't work THEN post in the Trade & Request forum. Anywhere else and it will be deleted and an infraction will be issued.
  • If this is your first time here please read our FAQ and Rules pages. They have some useful information that will get us all off on the right foot, especially our Own the Source rule. If you do not understand any of these rules send a private message to one of our staff for further details.
  • Please read our Rules & Guidelines

    Read BEFORE posting Trades & Request

JOHN CARTER

Transmitting from a secret OSI base in Alberta, Canada, Bionic Bob and his Bionic Daughter have just returned from the movie theatre, where they watched JOHN CARTER.

Bionic Bob is a forty-something nerd who has read pretty much everything written by Edgar Rice Burroughs and seen almost every movie adaptation of his works.

Bionic Daughter is 11 years old and has never read a John Carter book, but her favorite movies are Avatar, Harry Potter and the Lion King.

Here are our thoughts on the movie….:pop2:

BB: Okay, daughter, what did you think?
BD: Well, I really liked the dog thingie!:)
BB: You mean Woola?
BD: Yes! He was very funny and cute in an ugly way.
BB: Alright then, but what did you think about the actual movie?
BD: Well, it was very entertaining. The very beginning was a bit confusing, but after 5 or 6 minutes everything made sense. I really liked the big giant green things…

BB: You mean the THARKS?

BD: Oh yeah, them! They are creepy but awesome. They have 4 arms, which is really cool. The visuals are amazing! John Carter is awesome because he is like a super jumper bunny guy who beats up lots of badguys.
BB: Interesting. Anything else you wish to add?
BD: I don’t want to give to much away, but the part where you see what happened to John Carter’s family was both sad and totally epic at the same time!!!

BB: So daughter of mine, what score would you give this movie?
BD: I would give it a solid 9 out of 10!
BB: Thanks for your input.
BD: Your welcome. Bye!

Let’s have a round of applause for my super kid! :clap2:

Now for my impressions of the movie. I know the reviews are all over the place, critics either really loving and disliking this movie. I can honestly say, for myself, this was the most FUN I have had at a movie in a long time! This movie is just good, old fashioned epic matinee style adventure! I would easily put it on par with the very first STAR WARS movie or RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK!

Really.

In my book, it is that good. Maybe better.


I have waited my entire life for this movie. I read all the ERB Mars novels when I was 10 years old. I absolutely adore them, especially the first 3 books, which I think should be required reading for anyone who calls themselves a fan of science fiction and fantasy. Written in 1912, the first book is groundbreaking on so many levels and inspired countless other storytellers, writers and movie makers. Without John Carter there really would be no Flash Gordon or Star Wars or Avatar.


But I digress, back to the movie itself. I found the movie completely engaging from scene one. This movie, while Saturday matinee in action at times, it is not a park your brain at the door type movie. You do have to listen and pay attention. There is a lot of information to digest, you are dumped into the middle of an alien world and bombarded with lots of alien names, titles and customs. It is not spoon fed to you. It can be a challenge, even to one who has read the books. But it is the kind of challenge I like and wish more movies gave me.

The look, world building, and special effects are some of the best I have ever seen. The CGI rendered Tharks are masterpieces! With in minutes you forget they are computer animation, as they seem as real as you or me.

The story is not a literal translation of the original novel, A Princess of Mars. It is more of a mining of all the best elements of the first three novels, crafting a slightly different narration but one that is completely faithful of the world created by ERB.

Some things, including one very key plot point, have been dramatically changed for cinematic storytelling reasons and I actually applaud these changes. They make for a much more dynamic and dramatic story.

There is one scene where John Carter and friends are being chased by the Thark Horde, and he has had enough and finally makes his first stand with only his loyal Woola at his side. This scene is CLASSIC! One of the best moments in any sci-fi movie ever done. It is heroic, inspirational and crushingly sad and heartbreaking all at the same time. It is one of many outstanding moments for me in this movie.


The cast is wonderful. Lynn Collins is a revelation as Dejha Thoris! From the first moment she appears on screen, she steals the movie with her magnetic personality and warmth. I think I may be in love! Taylor Kitsch, won me over as John Carter. I was leery when I first heard he had been cast, but he quickly makes this role his own with just right amount of pathos and integrity. The romance between these two characters is completely believable and brings much heart to this adventure tale.

Mark Strong and Dominic West as our badguys are great fun. This is not Shakespeare, they are not complicated characters. These are classic evil, power hungry, unredeemable villians. And they play their roles perfectly.

The movie on a whole completely works for me. I was smiling from start to finish.
Andrew Stanton has once again proved he is a master maker of movies, whether they are animated or live actions. This man knows story and he knows character.

I really hope the movie going audiences will take a chance to go see this movie despite Disney's horrible marketing campaign and embrace this movie for it's old fashioned adventure style because I want a sequel!!!

And maybe, just maybe, if this movie is a success, we can finally get a real Tarzan movie!

I give JOHN CARTER 9.5 out of 10!!! It is retro-sci-fi/pulp done to PERFECTION!!!:)
 
Last edited:
Awesome review Bob. Loved hearing the Bionic Daughter's feedback. :D
 
"Maybe better" than Star Wars or Raiders?! That can surely only be the "only just seen it" fog clouding your judgement? Surely! :)
 
Uncanny Antman said:
"Maybe better" than Star Wars or Raiders?! That can surely only be the "only just seen it" fog clouding your judgement? Surely! :)
Click to expand...

I was thinking the same thing. Superman Returns was the best thing I ever laid eyes on when the credits rolled in the theater. That many months later, I still enjoy it, but nearly as much as I did in the theater. Don't get over excited, Bob! :)
 
^ Nope. I am sticking to my radium guns on this one. :-D

For me, on a very personal level, this movie is easily an equal to STARS WARS and RAIDERS.
And why not? It has been more than 30 years, we are well overdue for a movie with that kind of MAGIC.
And this movie was pure magic from beginning to end for me.

But it is all personal taste, isn't it? There will be MANY that will disagree and may even consider the movie to be predictable, unoriginal or boring. That is their right.:)

But I grew up with these stories, and to see them so faithfully rendered on the big screen, bringing Frazetta and Whelan imagery to life, it is an incredible accomplishment. I imagine it is similar to the feeling to those who love the Harry Potter books and love how they were translated into movies.

Besides, John Carter could kick Luke's whiney butt up and down Tatooine with both hands tied behind his back.:lol:
 
bionicbob said:
Besides, John Carter could kick Luke's whiney butt up and down Tatooine with both hands tied behind his back.:lol:
Click to expand...

INCORRECT.GIF

incorrect.gif
 
Luke has a lightsaber and the force, if he met Mr. Carter on mars turf his allready great powers would be increased ten fold, sure john might have the drop on luke there for the first minute or so, but after that it's a flick of his wrist an no more Mr. Carter.

The-Untouchables_Sean-Connery_cap-and-Norfolk-jacket.jpg

Here endeth the lesson.
 
Actually what would really happen, they would meet, have a classic misunderstanding and begin fighting to a draw until Dehja and Mara show up and slap them around back to their senses and then they would all team up and go off to fight the evil Thark Sith Lord.:-D
 
And then Luke would teach John in the black arts of the JEDI, but John goes to the dark side and Luke ends up having to take him out, whatever way you look at it, Luke wins ;)
 
The Lorax slaughtered John Carter at the box office.:-(
 
This is the first movie where a few professional reviewers are saying right off the bat the movie needs to be fanedited. For example -

perhaps someone could emulate the fans who crafted the re-edited, Jar Jar Binks-less version of The Phantom Menace (1999) and come up with a better version of John Carter.
Click to expand...

We may be seeing some versions on fanedit.org in no time! It sounds like a good one to work on.
 
is movie is the ideal fanedit candidate, there is so much that can be trimmed, the pacing is all over the place and the monologue destroys the fish-out-of-the-water nature of john carter since we know way before him that it is about mars
 
While watching it (and only reading the first book this week so I knew what the story was about), I kept thinking about how Mark Strong's character could have been completely cut out of this movie altogether.

While he was pretty much essential for
sending Carter back to Earth
, the plot could have just focused on Sab Than trying to marry the Princess so they would call a truce on their war. With the time spent on the shapeshifting trio which have been around for centuries and yet
Carter kills 2 of them
, they could have spent being a little more accurate to the book.

Don't get me wrong, I thought it was pretty good. I saw it with Dad who also read the book, though when he was a kid, and he thought it was pretty good as well. Watching this movie made me want to try and edit a great Buck Rogers movie using that corny series just to have another space opera to watch that isn't Star Wars.
 
Outside of the poor CGI in some spots, and somewhat thin background story, I had a good time with this movie with one other glaring exception.

Taylor Kitsch, or however you say his name is as bland as they come. Just does not have the presence for a role like this and should not be used to carry a movie. He actually wasn't too bad during the Earth scenes (outside of the awful looking beard), but on Mars he's just plain dull!

Collins on the other hand had tremendous presence and I found it impossible to take my eyes off of her (and I imagine this would still be true if I was gay or female). She's much more interesting than Mr. Carter.
 
^That's how I found them to be in Wolverine, too. Collins good, Kitsch bad.
 
Mark Kermode's review of John carter has really put me off seeing it...

[video=youtube_share;i1LQkZKYsaY]
 
My mom loved it. Loved it! She went and saw it in IMAX. I still haven't gone yet.
 
I have to say I thoroughly enjoyed it. It has its flaws (including some poor CGI during the speed-bike chase) and for many it will remind them of the SW prequels. However, it's hugely entertaining in an old-fashioned adventure story kind of way and Andrew Stanton shows why he's a much, much better director than Lucas. He has a better script to play with, and he actually knows how to direct actors.

As for Mr Kermode... I always enjoy his reviews, but I certainly don't always agree with him :D
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom