Wonder Woman 1918 (Fanfix)

[Masirimso17]

@"TinyBreadMouse" Sorry this took so long to review. I was under discharge after releasing my fan film, plus some procrastination (it's what I do best!) but I finally reviewed it. My decision:

I didn't notice almost all of the cuts and changes made and I applaud you for how seamless they were. There were two things I noticed:

11:11 had sort of a jarring audio cut but it's not too bad as to take you out of the movie.
1:34:26 it sounds like you added "Wonder Woman's Wrath" over the movie but the track that you added starts a little later than the one in the movie, but A) I had to double check as I was unsure, so that is something that would be missed by the average viewer, and B) It sounds less like an error and more like extra accompaniment to the music.

Both of these are hardly deal breakers. When it comes to the story I had two thoughts:

• The intro with young Diana coming in during the opening narration might be confusing but there's enough exposition very quickly after for it all to work.
• "You are not an Amazon like the rest of us" can be a little confusing as the early mention that she was born out of clay was cut, but that is reiterated on the boat later and the distinction between her and the other Amazons was vague in the original movie anyway. It could also mean that she's different because she's the God killer, in which case it's made more of a mystery if anything. Just a little weird for those familiar with the source material but still completely alright.

Again, neither are editor created plot-holes or anything.

I absolutely loved, however, how you handled Ares in this movie. I hated how they tried to have their cake and eat it too, but the story and Diana's development is so intrinsically tied to it that you can't really remove it. So I think you did the best you could minimizing his influence. Instead of being straight up Satan, he just plays an important part in furthering the war. It's already a fantastic subversion that he is from the British side, and now that he is definitely not in complete control of the war, it is perfected.

I did however have an issue with Germans waking up and becoming friends with our heroes after they ruined their plan, as if Ares' influence really did disappear. It doesn't help that the war seems to end immediately after either. So I was very disappointed that you kept it. If you ever make a version 2 I strongly recommend removing the German soldiers from the finale and adding a "months later" or something before the end of the war. As is it is okay as it is a problem in the original movie anyway, but it's something that really bugs me.

Nevertheless this has easily become my go to way to watch the moviei and of course has been approved.

Speaking of which, you have mentioned your problems with Ares above and I agree with them very much. And I have learned a lot about visual effects after doing my Zelda Fan Film. So here's my proposition. How about for a potential version 2, I help you out via After Effects with making Ares more threatening under his helmet. We would be unable to see under it, there would be a dark cloud hiding the ridiculous David Thewlis face and moustache, and only red eyes would be seen (until Diana throws his helmet away). While I do the VFX you could lower the pitch of Ares' voice to make him sound more threatening. Something like @"theryaney" put together as a concept a while back:

What do you think?

 

[TinyBreadMouse]

Lmfao, first off, love the vid. Thanks for that.

And, of course, thank you for your detailed response. Regarding the jarring audio cut at 11:11, I have no idea how I missed it, but I'll be sure to smooth it out when I get to version 2 eventually. And I'll need to check the music track at 1:34:26, I feel like I can't hear it when I'm looking for it, but I haven't listened to the soundtrack in weeks. I'll see what I can do. 
I do plan on reworking the beginning, specifically to remove the shot of Diana being told the story of Ares and man, but that is mainly so I have more childhood flashbacks to work with for my BvS edit. And for the second point, I like the way it plays out in the film so I'll probably keep it, but if other viewers find it confusing I'll try to rework it.

I am so glad you like what I did with Ares. I agree, it's too integral to the film to remove without the film feeling incomplete. And I would love to collaborate with you on changing Ares' appearance. I tried to darken the area through simple masking in Vegas, but it wasn't very good, and I have no experience with AE, so I'd love the help.

I understand that the German's snapping out of it makes sense logically, they all just witnessed two supernatural beings duking it out, but I do agree that it doesn't work narratively. I'll admit, I didn't even attempt to see how it could work, so I have no current ideas, but it's at the top of the list of things to do.

Anyways, thanks so much for the approval! Is there anything I need to do now on my end?

 

[Masirimso17]

An admin will give you faneditor status. Also if I'm not mistaken I think you're supposed to submit your edit to the IFDB. @"TM2YC" ?

 

[TM2YC]

An admin will give you faneditor status. Also if I'm not mistaken I think you're supposed to submit your edit to the IFDB. @"TM2YC" ?

Yep that's correct.

Thread moved. Congratulations @"TinyBreadMouse" on the approval and thanks @"Masirimso17" for reviewing it .

 

[Zarius]

Congratulations @"TinyBreadMouse" 

 

[stferguson78]

Congratulations, really enjoyable watch!

 

[TinyBreadMouse]

Thanks to everyone who offered feedback, not just for the scenes I requested, but for the entire film as well.

 

[Wakeupkeo]

I understand that the German's snapping out of it makes sense logically, they all just witnessed two supernatural beings duking it out, but I do agree that it doesn't work narratively. I'll admit, I didn't even attempt to see how it could work, so I have no current ideas, but it's at the top of the list of things to do.

Hey TBM,
Congrats on getting approved! Saw your release go up for a flash, so not sure if you are done or not. 

If you are looking for a way to resolve the Germans snapping out of it, in my cut I ended up removing shots of soldiers putting their weapons down and everyone being friends. Instead it simply cuts from WW turning around with the crater behind her to the end of the war, avoiding all the shots altogether, since they don't add anything but confusion. My cut is too conservative to release officially, but feel free to play with the idea. You might be able to find something better in a similar vein. With all the great cuts you have in your edit, it would be awesome to address one of the biggest inconsistencies of the film.

 

[TinyBreadMouse]

It went live, but I wanted to add some clarification to the listing. At one point I claimed my edit was made to 'disconnect it from the DCEU entirely' by way of removing the modern-day bookend sequences, while at another point I brought up how it's the first entry into my DCEU Continuity series (simply titled New DCEU). The two statements seem conflicting, hopefully the new listing is worded better.

And that's a great idea actually. I'll be honest, I just could not decide what to do with the soldiers. I feel it makes narrative sense for them to seem dazed and 'snapped out of it' considering the events that just went down, but I also concede that it was executed very poorly and instead comes off like Ares had in fact been controlling them. I don't know when I'll be tackling a second version, but that is something I'll very seriously consider, and of course I'll give credit where credit is due. I also want to take another crack at the film's opening, as others have mentioned it doesn't flow as well as it could due to the removed scenes of young Diana, and I'm likely to remove everything about young Diana (training scene stays in, starting her in her teenage years works fine with me, it's how we first see the DCEU Superman too).

Once I get around to it, I'll update the post with samples for feedback.

 

[theryaney]

Congratulations on your first completed fanedit! I put together a poster for this edit, heavily inspired by 1917. Hope you like it.

 

[TinyBreadMouse]

That's beautiful, honestly. And now I'm inspired to do a Wonder Woman/1917 mashup, giving more context to the war.

If you're ok with it, I'd like to use this for the IFDB listing.

Ultimately, I want my edits to feel more uniform, to give myself more of a brand for users to immediately differentiate my work from others, and while this is an amazing piece, it won't fit in the larger tapestry of what I'm looking to achieve visually.

 

[theryaney]

If you're ok with it, I'd like to use this for the IFDB listing.

Sure, I can put together a blu-ray cover as well.

 

[TinyBreadMouse]

Feel free if you'd like, I'm open to all assistance/collaborations.

 

[boazz750]

@"TinyBreadMouse" Sorry this took so long to review. I was under discharge after releasing my fan film, plus some procrastination (it's what I do best!) but I finally reviewed it. My decision:

I didn't notice almost all of the cuts and changes made and I applaud you for how seamless they were. There were two things I noticed:

11:11 had sort of a jarring audio cut but it's not too bad as to take you out of the movie.
1:34:26 it sounds like you added "Wonder Woman's Wrath" over the movie but the track that you added starts a little later than the one in the movie, but A) I had to double check as I was unsure, so that is something that would be missed by the average viewer, and B) It sounds less like an error and more like extra accompaniment to the music.

Both of these are hardly deal breakers. When it comes to the story I had two thoughts:

• The intro with young Diana coming in during the opening narration might be confusing but there's enough exposition very quickly after for it all to work.
• "You are not an Amazon like the rest of us" can be a little confusing as the early mention that she was born out of clay was cut, but that is reiterated on the boat later and the distinction between her and the other Amazons was vague in the original movie anyway. It could also mean that she's different because she's the God killer, in which case it's made more of a mystery if anything. Just a little weird for those familiar with the source material but still completely alright.

Again, neither are editor created plot-holes or anything.

I absolutely loved, however, how you handled Ares in this movie. I hated how they tried to have their cake and eat it too, but the story and Diana's development is so intrinsically tied to it that you can't really remove it. So I think you did the best you could minimizing his influence. Instead of being straight up Satan, he just plays an important part in furthering the war. It's already a fantastic subversion that he is from the British side, and now that he is definitely not in complete control of the war, it is perfected.

I did however have an issue with Germans waking up and becoming friends with our heroes after they ruined their plan, as if Ares' influence really did disappear. It doesn't help that the war seems to end immediately after either. So I was very disappointed that you kept it. If you ever make a version 2 I strongly recommend removing the German soldiers from the finale and adding a "months later" or something before the end of the war. As is it is okay as it is a problem in the original movie anyway, but it's something that really bugs me.

Nevertheless this has easily become my go to way to watch the moviei and of course has been approved.

Speaking of which, you have mentioned your problems with Ares above and I agree with them very much. And I have learned a lot about visual effects after doing my Zelda Fan Film. So here's my proposition. How about for a potential version 2, I help you out via After Effects with making Ares more threatening under his helmet. We would be unable to see under it, there would be a dark cloud hiding the ridiculous David Thewlis face and moustache, and only red eyes would be seen (until Diana throws his helmet away). While I do the VFX you could lower the pitch of Ares' voice to make him sound more threatening. Something like @"theryaney" put together as a concept a while back:

What do you think?

I was in the process of writing my thoughts about this edit (here for now), but I must admit Masrisimo17 phrased my thoughts better than me. I absolutely loved the updated narrative, enjoyed the improved pacing, and did not miss the trimmed bits.

Still, here are a few notes of my own:
*. The transitions are indeed seamless, except for the 11:11 cut Masrisimo17 mentioned and another issue at 26:46. This other issue is uneven volume levels during Steve's line "my father told me once, he said, 'If you see something wrong happening in the world, you can either do nothing, or you can do something' ". While this is a problem with the source materials, perhaps you can fix it if (and whenever) you release another version for this edit.

*. The final confrontation with Ares is a major flaw in the TC, as it turns a solid story into a CG fest. Additionally, it is tonally different than the rest of the film and generally uninteresting because both Diana and Ares cannot really die. I understand why it had to stay - it brings closure to the story and allows Diana to transform into a demigod(ess). However, a few minor changes can improve this final act:
(a) I like Masrisimo17's suggestion regarding obscuring Ares's face while he's wearing the helmet - it will be consistent with other depictions of Ares earlier in the film and make them feel less like a feeble attempt to hide his identity. However, I think that adding red glowing eyes would be a mistake - that seems to me as too cartoonish.
(b) I don't like Diana's "force field" without even Wakanda Forever-ing (at 1:54:12-14). It is unearned and inconsistent with the other films in the DCEU.
(c) The fight can be trimmed. As mentioned above, at the moment it is essentially a fight between two invulnerable beings, which is uninteresting. Suggested trim: as the fight begins, Ares lands, and then hovers again. Maybe some of the interim bits can be cut? Do they serve the narrative?
(d) I am not certain why Steve's parting scene is played twice - it is confusing and hurts the pacing. The first time it seems that Diana's hearing is impaired and that she cannot hear what Steve is actually saying. However, in the flashback we see that they actually conversed. Maybe move the flashback scene earlier, with minor volume adjustments. Diana can spare Dr poison by closing her eyes and seeing Steve for a split second (1:52:46-47).
(e) And maybe cut the Superhero Landing (1:55:45-49)?

*. Regarding the aftermath of the fight - I think that there is no real way around the intention of the TC: The death of Ares cooled aggression and helped bring the end of the war. The scene with the German soldiers is important and can be read both as 'everybody feeling lucky to have survived this battle of titans' (figuratively...) and as 'everyone is relieved to not be under Ares's influence anymore'.

All in all, this is a terrific edit, and none of the changes suggested above is really necessary. Well done!

 

[MoviesGamesMusic]

Just watched this through. Really good and much improved. The only further edit I would like to personally see is at 1:54:50 when Ares says, “Then, I will destroy you”. Not only is this completely cliche but Thewis’ line delivery here is awful and extremely cheesy. I raised my eyebrows as I had forgotten just how bad that line was. How would it play without it do you think?

Thanks again and well done

 

[TinyBreadMouse]

Oct. 26

I absolutely loved the updated narrative, enjoyed the improved pacing, and did not miss the trimmed bits.
This edit trims away awkward and redundant scenes seamlessly (except for one tiny transition at 11:11), and treats its characters even better than the theatrical cut. I especially appreciated the way Steve and Diana's relationship is handled in this edit - the TC contained a few cringe-worthy moments which are blissfully gone now.

While the pacing is greatly improved, a few additional minor changes can improve the final act even further. I elaborated on those in the forum discussion.

All in all, this is a terrific edit, well done!

-boazz750

Thank you again to boazz750 for the lovely review.

 

[TinyBreadMouse]

Oct. 27

Absolutely blown away by this new edit of the movie.

Well done!

-tankrl

Thank you to tankrl for the lovely review. I'm so glad my first edit has been met with such praise.

 

[TinyBreadMouse]

Oct. 31

Great work! All the technical aspects were done very well! No audio or visual issues at all! And all the small scripting edits you made were top notch, made for a much more serious watch.

For me personally, it was a bit extreme on some of the major scene removals that ended up costing a bit of the overall world-building in Themyscira, and some of the mystery in Diana's journey resulting in a less dynamic character arc for Diana. But fanedits are about executing a personal vision, and you can't please everyone LOL

Overall great, high quality work and I am excited to see what is next from this editor!

-the-great-subtracter

I've already replied to the user personally, so I won't be saying much about this review.

I do intend on reintegrating some of Themyscira back into the film. Now that I've had time to look back on the edit, the opening is one of the areas I feel is somewhat unpolished. Adding back some of Diana's fascinations with war and the warriors should balance that out pretty well and hopefully address these two concerns.

As always, thank you for the lovely review.

 

[TinyBreadMouse]

Dec. 13

I first watched this movie a few months ago and enjoyed it but it did drag on a bit towards the end, so the scenes removed helped speed up the pace and all the audio and video edits are perfectly executed and wouldn't be noticeable to a first time viewer. This is my go to version due to being shorter then the original which makes it more enjoyable because of it.

-youngy94

Thank you youngy94 for the lovely review

 

[TinyBreadMouse]

I'm getting around to a second pass of this edit. My current plans are as follows:

-Restore more of Diana's childhood to the opening of the film. I may actually restore the vast majority of the opening, or at least enough to showcase Diana's fascination with the Amazon's combat prowess.
-Create a new mid-credits scene by inserting Etta's Mission into the film. Since this film comes first in the New DCEU recommended viewing order, it means we'll get a glimpse at the Motherbox long before BvS.