Star Trek: Reunion by TM2YC - Fanedit of 'The Motion Picture'

[TM2YC]

Fine work all through. Planet Vulcan never looked better. The interrupting Ilia with the hailing signal works like a charm. Matting in the larger drydock as the shuttle leaves the station really helps the continuity and scale, a nice Adywan touch there.

Glad you liked the hailing signal bit, I was pretty pleased with that touch .

FANTASTIC!!! Truly! I am blown away! You have warmed this old Trekie's heart.

Though I do have a couple minor notes regarding the new subtitles....

--I agree with Brumous that they should be one or two sizes larger

--"give me your thoughts." Give needs to be capitalized.

--"One and together, Spock".... while it works, I think a more traditional Vulcan mind meld phrase would be better.... usually it goes like "My mind to your mind... my thoughts to your thoughts...", I know its a small quibble nitpick, but hey, its what us Trekheads do! LOL!

--"His answer lieS elsewhere"... you need an "S" at the end of lie

--"Attacking formation"... I dunno, shouldn't it be just "attack formation" ?

-- "Fire."... for dramatic purposes, wouldn't it be stronger if it ended with an exclamation point ... "Fire!" ?

Thanks and all good points. I did wonder if the Subs were too small, now I know. I also wondered if using a Trek font was a bit too much?

If anyone wants to suggest a subtitle font (Make sure it's free to download ;-)) then go for it. Maybe there is a vintage 1979 subtitle look that somebody knows off?

 

[bionicbob]

I think the subtitle font you have already chosen works perfectly.

 

[reave]

That really is a great clip. Makes me actually want to make time to watch the movie.

 

[TM2YC]

Here is how I've cut the Asteroid destruction and what happens just after...

(Password: fanedit.org)

- Recolouring not finished (so ignore that)
- DC shot of Asteroid exploding used. It's low res but the TC shot was so bad it was unavoidable
- Numerous tiny trims made to up the pace
- Added TOS photon launching sound. It was originally weak in the DC and missing in the TC
- Added fading light blur to first shot of Ilia after the wormhole collapses
- Reduced length of time Kirk stares into space to minimum
- Trimmed a couple bits of technobabble
- Moved "Jim you're pushing..." dialogue from before the wormhole 'til after. Hopefully this plays better as a friendly retrospective hint from Bones on what just went wrong and less the dire pre-warning to Kirk about how much he's f**king up, that it originally was ;-)
- Created reaction match-cut shot of Decker listening to Bones and Kirk talk
- Added missing bridge sound

That was hard work but is easy compared to the next bit... trying to recut Kirk and Decker's argument in the Captain's Quarters to be much less bitter.

 

[bionicbob]

Clip looks beautiful, even if it is not finished yet.

That was hard work but is easy compared to the next bit... trying to recut Kirk and Decker's argument in the Captain's Quarters to be much less bitter.

Good luck with that. I could never get that particular scene to work to my satisfaction, though my story approach was very different from yours. But is Kirk's weakest scene imo, he really comes across as insecure and as a jerk. Though Decker is a bit of an ass too. It's hard to believe either one is suppose to be the hero of the story.

I wonder if your version would work with just cutting the meeting all together???

 

[TM2YC]

I wonder if your version would work with just cutting the meeting all together???

That thought had crossed my mind.

Thing is, when Kirk instantly realises his mistake and goes so far as to smile and say "I trust you'll nursemaid me through these difficulties" he does come across as a strong leader. There are other moments too but it's finding a way to show them and lose the other bits. Kirk pacing around the room makes trims quite difficult.

 

[Zarius]

The new posistion on "you're pushing" works really well, slight slow-mo on Decker overhearing 'em, but nothing too bad

 

[bionicbob]

Thing is, when Kirk instantly realises his mistake and goes so far as to smile and say "I trust you'll nursemaid me through these difficulties" he does come across as a strong leader.

Agreed, it is a good Kirk moment.

One crazy idea I had but never tried due to lack of talent was harvesting Kirk audio from either TOS or the other movies about firing the torpedoes, and reconstructing the wormhole scene so that Kirk saves the ship and not Decker.

 

[TM2YC]

Agreed, it is a good Kirk moment.

One crazy idea I had but never tried due to lack of talent was harvesting Kirk audio from either TOS or the other movies about firing the torpedoes, and reconstructing the wormhole scene so that Kirk saves the ship and not Decker.

I don't have a problem with Kirk screwing up and his crew telling him he's messed up. He does it all the time in the other movies e.g. Kirk not raising the shields to Reliant in ST2 (He gets Scotty's nephew burned alive for that one!). But in the other movies they are just brief moments which are overshadowed by him being clever and heroic in the rest of the film. It's those little fallible mistakes that make him so endearing. When he has to take out the pair of glasses bones bought him so he can see the readout on Reliant's shield code, to get them out of the fix he walked them into. Shatner does this quick embarrased glance around before he puts the spectacles on. It's probably my all time favourite Trek moment.

So I don't mind him causing the whole wormhole business... as long as we see that he did it for good reasons, see him be sorry he did it and not dwell on it (Like having a symbolic slowly closing door shot while he stands alone in his quarters).

 

[Brumous]

Persis Khambatta jiggling in her seat is the silliest thing in the movie. The bridge isn't jiggling and no one else is jiggling, just good ol' Peris boogying by herself.

 

[TM2YC]

Persis Khambatta jiggling in her seat is the silliest thing in the movie. The bridge isn't jiggling and no one else is jiggling, just good ol' Peris boogying by herself.

Yes that wide shot isn't the best. In the DC and TC the shot went on for about four times longer (Making the problems much clearer to see, although the low resolution of the DC masked some of it). I might try add some camera shake and wormhole blurring to make it less obviously wrong.

 

[reave]

When he has to take out the pair of glasses bones bought him so he can see the readout on Reliant's shield code, to get them out of the fix he walked them into. Shatner does this quick embarrased glance around before he puts the spectacles on. It's probably my all time favourite Trek moment..

Agreed so hard. I absolutely love that scene.

 

[TM2YC]

Here is a test of the post-wormhole scenes (Still much work to do on the colour grading and some audio mixing needs improved)...

(Password: fanedit.org)

- Added part of the 'Sulu and Ilia 2' deleted scene from the TV cut. Further builds Decker/Ilia relationship (Plus love having Sulu in the Captain's chair ). Mixed in additional soundtrack but needs more work on the audio and the colours
- Made many trims to remove awkward silences. Damn near every shot has been cut or reordered in some way in the Kirk's quarter's scene
- Toned down the bitterness of Kirk's disagreement with Decker. Hopefully Kirk comes accross as a strong leader trying to deal with a difficult human resources problem ;-)
- Cut all of Bones laying into Kirk. Now Kirk knows he messed up, admits it, feels troubled by it and then gets on with his job. No need for his friend to "haul him over the coals"
- Recut and added additional audio FX during the phonecall with Uhura/Chekhov

How's this work for everyone? It's in a fairly rough shape but I just wanted to have some feedback on where it's going.

FYI I've already removed one of the duplicated shot of Bones glancing to his right from my time line (Oops)

 

[Brumous]

The idea of toning down Kirk's bitterness is good, but I think a little too much is cut from this scene. Anger and righteousness have inertia, it takes a few beats to switch gears mentally and emotionally. Kirk needs a few more frames to think it through and readjust. And that would make the scene more powerful because a magnanimous gesture means more if it's hard to do. If Kirk can drop his anger in an instant then it seems like it's not very important to him, and his line about 'nursemaid' loses power.

 

[bionicbob]

I like it (especially the Sulu inclusion) though the Kirk line, "You saved the ship." sort of feels/sounds awkward, a bit out of nowhere.

I get what you are going for, Kirk coming to the realization himself that Decker was right, but it is almost like we need another beat in there before Kirk's line, though I don't know if that would be possible with available source material. What would be ideal if there was a close up of Kirk's face, as he comes to terms with the reality of the situation, a classic Shat expression moment, then cut the line. Is there maybe something from the cut Kirk/McCoy exchange that you could lift/crop/repurpose? Or even hold Kirk's pose with his back to Decker/McCoy and insert the audio that way? I dunno... LOL ...just throwing ideas out there off the top of my head...

But I soooooo loving this edit so far!!!!

Will you be trimming the Vulcan shuttle docking to the Enterprise? It always felt way too long to me.

 

[TM2YC]

the Kirk line, "You saved the ship." sort of feels/sounds awkward, a bit out of nowhere.

we need another beat in there before Kirk's line

Will you be trimming the Vulcan shuttle docking to the Enterprise? It always felt way too long to me.

Good points thanks and yes it will be trimmed.

Kirk needs a few more frames to think it through and readjust.

I'll look at doing that later tonight.

Thanks guys. As I feared, this section needs much more work.

 

[Jeffery Crayon]

I would also suggest adding Illia's "Confirmed Mr. Sulu, confirmed." back in, because it otherwise seems like she's ignoring Sulu. As far as Jim and Bones argument, I enjoyed that piece because its the one time in the movies where Kirks obsession with the Enterprise is spoken about directly (Though its referenced in ST III when he's watching the Enterprise burn up in the Genesis planets atmosphere). If you have to leave out the whole argument, if there is no way to soften Bones delivery, I would suggest just leaving in Bones "He may be right, Jim," after Decker leaves the room.

One of my favorite things about ST I is Kirks arc....we see him at his worst at the beginning of the film. He has become that very Admiral he hated during the Original Series, who believes he knows more than the starships Captain and tries to take over, irregardless of the actual facts. In this case, as Decker points out, Kirk is rusty, his instincts aren't as sharp, and he is unfamiliar with the Enterprise re-design. But through the film, Kirk comes to terms with this and gets his "space legs" back, for lack of a better word, and his character growth through the film is enjoyable. I also really like the scene after the transporter accident, when his guard is down for a moment, and you see that look on his face in the Enterprise corridors when he realizes he doesn't know where he's going and has to stop to ask a lowly Yeoman how to get to a turboshaft....which Decker sees. Very powerful scene to me.

 

[TM2YC]

I would also suggest adding Illia's "Confirmed Mr. Sulu, confirmed." back in, because it otherwise seems like she's ignoring Sulu. As far as Jim and Bones argument, I enjoyed that piece because its the one time in the movies where Kirks obsession with the Enterprise is spoken about directly (Though its referenced in ST III when he's watching the Enterprise burn up in the Genesis planets atmosphere). If you have to leave out the whole argument, if there is no way to soften Bones delivery, I would suggest just leaving in Bones "He may be right, Jim," after Decker leaves the room.

One of my favorite things about ST I is Kirks arc....we see him at his worst at the beginning of the film. He has become that very Admiral he hated during the Original Series, who believes he knows more than the starships Captain and tries to take over, irregardless of the actual facts. In this case, as Decker points out, Kirk is rusty, his instincts aren't as sharp, and he is unfamiliar with the Enterprise re-design. But through the film, Kirk comes to terms with this and gets his "space legs" back, for lack of a better word, and his character growth through the film is enjoyable. I also really like the scene after the transporter accident, when his guard is down for a moment, and you see that look on his face in the Enterprise corridors when he realizes he doesn't know where he's going and has to stop to ask a lowly Yeoman how to get to a turboshaft....which Decker sees. Very powerful scene to me.

I pretty much disagree 100% with almost all of that ^... so this may not be the edit for you ;-). However putting back Bones' "He may be right, Jim," is something I've been thinking about all day.

 

[TM2YC]

I've completely re-edited the whole post-wormhole section and it's much better. Still not 100% with it though.

(Password: fanedit.org)

Changes from last test...

- Removed first Ilia reaction shot. It was too quick and awkward.
- Reworked soundmix and music over Ilia reaction scene
- Restored Kirk's full reaction to Deckard's explanation
- Reworked the bit before Kirk's "You saved the ship" line to be a little smoother
- Added back Bones' "He may be right". Not sure if this totally works with Uhura's interuption
- Move Decker/Ilia scene back to after Uhura's message
- Trimmed down Vulcan shuttle approach

Does this all work better? Suggestions for improvements?

By the way, I'm trying to redit Spock's entrance so we only see who it is after Kirk does. It may not work but I'm going to try.

 

[bionicbob]

Definitely better, the confrontation between Decker and Kirk flows much smoother now.
"You saved the ship" -- is better but still feels slightly off/out of nowhere. Are you 100% committed to Decker not being a complete jerk and saying "sorry, if I embarrassed you" ? LOL.
The rearranged scenes of Uhura/Decker/Vulcan shuttle works very nicely.