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My Fear of Flying

'Mayday at 40,000 Feet!' [1976]

David Janssen helms this soapy TV movie. Do you like your melodrama served by the bucketload? You would have been in heaven, then, if you tuned in to CBS on November 12th 1976. Here we have an airline disaster movie in the style of 'Airport', with all the obligatory Characters With Tragic Backstories, but without the style.

The film plays almost like a mystery for its first half. The title informs us a disaster is in the cards, but what, and which of the many hand-wringing passengers and crew will be the catalyst? It's a good (not 'good' good) 50 minutes before the Mayday event occurs, and unfortunately it's the most obvious candidate. In the meantime, we have got to know Janssen as the Captain With Something On His Mind, the Copilot Who Just Met An Old Flame, the Doctor With A Secret, the Old-Hand Stewardess Who Is Retiring To Adopt A Child, the Stewardess On Her First Day Who Can't Hack It, the Marshall With Health Issues, and the Erratic Prisoner En Route To His Trial. That's a lot of characterization to stuff into a TV movie, and it doesn't exactly fly by (no pun intended, I swear).

So when the Mayday event does finally erupt, we're very much in familiar territory. Characters grapple with the situation and, I admit, there is some tension played out here as to the fate of the plane. Janssen, by necessity, is sidelined and Ray Milland as the crotchety doctor comes to the fore. His is the only acting worth watching here and the only character I cared about.

Everything else about 'Mayday at 40,000 Feet!' (ignore the '!' at the end - it really isn't that exciting) is workmanlike - not atrocious, but only just passes for entertaining. The ending is far too happy for my liking, with many characters learning something about themselves due to the experience, like a feature-length episode of 'Fantasy Island'. It's 'Airport' Lite, but also somehow heavier, if that makes sense. A blurry rip is available on YouTube, if you are so inclined.
 
'Murder on Flight 502' [1975]

TV movies in the 70s didn't mess around with nuance. 'Murder on Flight 502' tells you everything you need to know about what to expect when you sit in front of the box for 97 minutes (plus commercials) with your beverage of choice. There's a flight (the 502 goes from New York to London non-stop, by the way) and at least one murder. But who among the assorted passengers and crew will be the victims? Who is the murderer? And why have they chosen the most illogical of venues to perform their ghastly deeds?

This is a whodunnit, of course, mixed with the usual characterization of yet another 'Airport' clone. Lots of the usual tropes are shown here - the stewardess on her last flight, the doctor with a dodgy past, and so on. Lots of familiar faces here too - Ralph Bellamy, Farah Fawcett-Majors, Walter Pidgeon, Robert Stack, Danny Bonaduce, and Sonny Bono - all taking a break from a guest star spot on 'The Love Boat'. Stack is our able, solid captain who snaps and barks, but probably has a heart of gold (it's unusual that he seems to have no skeletons in his overhead compartment).

A First Class passenger has left a note in the waiting area (meant to be read a day later) regarding the murders, hence the heads-up our crew have been given, albeit too late to turn around, it appears. Stack teams up with cop Hugh O'Brian, looking far too like Stephen Colbert to take seriously, in order to wait for the murderer to reveal him or herself. This means that we spend all our time (and less of the budget) solely in the First Class cabin, with the riff-raff behind the curtains barely getting a mention.

As an entertaining distraction, it works well enough. The acting tends towards the hammy, and the characters are one-dimensional stereotypes (the Jewish grandmother in particular), and Danny Bonaduce literally disappears less than halfway through (was he fired from the set? Most odd), but otherwise it zips along fairly merrily. As a whodunnit, however, it disappoints. It lacks a Hercule Poirot type, piecing together the puzzle (they are a few red herrings thrown at us along the way) and when the explanation for the murderous scheme is revealed, it features elements we as the audience could not possibly have known. As a sop, there is a minor twist right at the end, which eagle-eyed viewers could have picked up on, but it wasn't enough for me, I'm afraid.
 
'Airport 1975' [1974]

"Moses, take the wheel... again."

Charlton Heston is back at the controls - eventually - in this second of the 'Airport' franchise. It's a sequel of sorts, I suppose, inasmuch as George Kennedy reprises his role as Joe Patroni, having worked his way up in some managerial capacity. Although 'Zero Hour!' is the basis for the airplane disaster spoof 'Airplane!', you can't help but imagine the writers sitting down and taking lots of notes if they viewed 'Airport 1975' too.

This is a by-the-book disaster movie, with a now cliched array of passengers - the comic relief (Sid Caesar), the singing nun (Helen Reddy), the kid in need of a transplant (Linda Blair) and the glamorous star (Gloria Swanson, playing herself. Yes, literally). There are a ton of famous names here, and familiar faces even if you don't remember their names. It's just a shame that all that talent couldn't produce something better.

We have the usual getting-to-know-the-characters (very little of this 'Airport' film actually takes place in the airport) as they settle into their seats and their roles. We have the requisite 70s sexist banter, but otherwise the first third of the film is surprisingly dull. None of the passengers are particularly interesting, certainly not enough to spend thirty minutes on. But we have a subplot (the trigger for the disaster) in the form of Dana Andrews. He is flying a private plane, and he's not looking so healthy. Is it possible that he will fly directly into the 747 piloted by Efrem Zimbalist Jr? If so, they must be the unluckiest pilots around, considering that was also their fate in the 1960 film 'The Crowded Sky', albeit with their roles reversed.

Cometh the disaster, cometh the heroine. Karen Black, stewardess, takes the reins, and suffers some verbal face-slapping from Heston, her lover (of course) over the radio. It's not enough, though, this being 1975 and with Heston right there. Naturally, he has to swing in somehow to save the day.

Is this a bad film? Yes. There are long stretches that are a slog to get through. The passengers show the greatest reaction to their impending doom that I've seen so far in any disaster movie, but then are quickly subdued with blankets, free booze, and another song from the perky nun. Some excitement is mustered in trying to bring the plane back under control, but it takes a long, long while to get there.

If you absolutely have to see an airplane disaster film featuring a midair collision between Dana Andrews and Efrem Zimbalist Jr, do yourself a favour. Skip 'Airport 1975' and watch 'The Crowded Sky' instead. It may not necessarily be any better, but it's a damn sight more fun.
 
'The Hindenburg' [1975]

This wasn't included in my original list of airplane disaster films because, well, it's not about an airplane. But the plot and bloated cast and the fact that the majority of the film occurs up in the sky would suggest to me that it qualifies.

The Hindenburg was a real airship, of course, that burst into flames while attempting to land in New Jersey in May 1937. This Robert Wise directed film supposes that there was sabotage involved, a literal ticking timebomb that George C Scott as Luftwaffe Colonel Franz Ritter has to find, as well as the mad bomber onboard. The suspense is curtailed somewhat by the knowledge that he won't be entirely successful, but Wise is an astute enough director to skirt around such obstacles.

This is a good looking film. Wise is adept at scale and framing a shot, and the airship looks impressive on screen. The film also takes notes from the previous 'Airport' films and their clones by having an eclectic cast of passengers, who throw red herrings left, right and center as Scott tries to deduce who might be the saboteur. The film successfully sets up the mystery, even if the payoff isn't greatly satisfying. Scott is solid and laconic, as always, and plays to our sympathies, even as a Nazi, by being a reluctant Nazi, who briefly contemplates skipping to Switzerland with his wife. The political overtones and the late 1930s setting are probably the most interesting aspects of this film; there is a musical interlude for the passengers that takes overt swipes at Hitler (much to the Captain's chagrin), and the Germany-US relationship is shown to be severely strained, if not yet at breaking point.

There are many well-known faces on screen - Anne Bancroft, Burgess Meredith, William Atherton, Charles Durning, Rene Auberjonois, etc - but, apart from Atherton, no one really has much to do. When the inevitable explosion occurs, the film switches to black and white to match actual footage of the tragedy that is edited in. Not only did I think it didn't work, it felt crass, seeing as though we're witnessing the deaths of 35 people. Overly sensitive? Perhaps. But still, it didn't sit right with me.

Despite that, 'The Hindenburg' is a well constructed albeit slow film that should scratch an itch of anyone interested in Nazi-era period movies.
 
'Airport '77' [1977]

I watched 'The Poseidon Adventure' [1972] the evening before I gave 'Airport '77' a spin, which turned out to be mixed blessings. I'd read a brief synopsis of the third in the 'Airport' films, and it seemed a good idea to remind myself of a similar underwater disaster movie. However, after watching the superior film first, 'Airport '77' seemed even more wishy-washy in comparison.

The premise of the film is the same, more or less, as any other of the previous 'Airport' movies - we are introduced to the captain (less so the crew this time, though) and a bevvy of passengers with their particular foibles. No doubt against the insurance company's policies, this plane is stuffed with a rich philanthrope's art collection, as well as distinguished guests and family. So, naturally, we also have a handful of miscreants out to steal the loot while knocking out everyone else with, um, knock-out gas. Things go awry, and the plane ends up in the shallowest part of the Bermuda Triangle, by good fortune. Or bad, I suppose, as the oxygen runs out and the plane starts to leak...

As you would expect, there are a whole slew of Names (with that capital N): James Stewart, Jack Lemmon, Olivia De Havilland, Christopher Lee, Lee Grant, Joseph Cotton, etc, etc... A huge part of the enjoyment of these films is seeing the stars interact, and imagining the great stories they would have told each other in the downtime. The problem with 'Airport '77', however, is that our stars are one-dimensional. Sure, we are clued in on an elicit affair, or the couple who last met in London in 1936, or the bartender's partner having twins, or the troubled relationship between a father and his daughter... But these are all illusions masquerading as personality. When the plane hits the surf, none of this is relevant or bound into the plot in any feasible way. Unlike 'The Poseidon Adventure', there is no conflict between the passengers and, excepting Christopher Lee, they are passive observers to their own survival. There is some suspense in wondering who will get out alive and how, but it becomes obvious they won't be doing it themselves.

Instead, as the end credits make clear, we get the full force of the Navy going about its real-life maneuvers to rescue the plane, passengers and/or valuable art collection. It's fine, and it's epic in scale, but it's still a bit of a cop-out.

On the plus side, there is some good acting on show. Lemmon is natural and a better hero than I would have expected. But Lee Grant, as Christopher Lee's bored, adultress, alcoholic wife is the one to watch. She's excellent, giving much more to this film than it desires.

'Airport '77' isn't a bad film - in fact, it kept me entertained well enough - but with the star power attached to it, it should have been better.
 
When it comes to Airport 77, all I really think about is how they repurposed all the footage for an episode of AIRWOLF lol
 
'The Night they took Miss Beautiful' [1977]

If you can't guess from the title, 'The Night they took Miss Beautiful' is a hijack/ransom TV movie involving beauty pageant contestants. On the surface, that's all it is, but dig a little deeper and there's something more. Or is there?

By featuring a hijack, TNTTMB just sneaks into this list, but the bulk of this film is earthbound, alas. The top 5 finalists are on their way to the Bahamas in a very old seaplane, of all things, when the hijackers emerge and force the pilot to land on a beach. There, the passengers (which include Phil Silvers as a supposed alcoholic has-been host, a handler and one of the girls' mother, as well as a spare captain) are ordered into a hut until the hijackers demands are met.

This TV movie is superficially very stereotypical. The G Men quickly appear and are as wooden and emotionless regarding the fate of the captives as any you could find in any 1950s B movie. Two-thirds of the way through, their aloofness is given motive when the MacGuffin is introduced, adding an interesting twist to an otherwise generic hostage drama. Other stereotypes on display include the harassed Head of Airport Security (Chuck Connors), the pushy mother (Marcia Lewis) living vicariously through her beautiful daughter (Karen Lamm), and a hattrick of psychotic kidnappers.

But is there more to it than that? Well, perhaps. No doubt NBC just wanted a hijack movie featuring beautiful women, but I couldn't help thinking that the writers snuck some of their own opinions about beauty pageants into the script. Phil Silvers character is quickly derided as sexist and racist right off the bat, but things take a darker turn when the hijackers force the women to perform their pageant routines under penalty of death to pass the time. It's humiliating and pathetic and I can't believe it was included merely to pad out the runtime. When the pushy mother pimps out her daughter against her wishes to one of the hijackers to save the two of them, it feels like a culmination of the writers pretty low opinion of competitions that judge women on their physical attributes.

Or maybe not. This was shown in 1977, and perhaps NBC were just hedging their bets - "Look at all the gorgeous flesh, but isn't it terrible, though?" I dunno.

Speaking of gorgeous, Victoria Principal plays an Israeli contestant, with an accent that suggests she had never met anyone from Israel. But who cares?
 
'SST: Death Flight' [1977]

Every time I think I've found the quinessential airplane disaster movie, another comes along to knock the previous iteration off its pedestal. Yes, TV movie 'SST: Death Flight' is one such film which ticks all the boxes, and then some. Stars, and rising stars, plus sabotage and a rogue virus, coupled with pilot rivalry, a love triangle, mutinous passengers, a heroic doctor and a topless model. All in a snappy 93 minutes.

If you ever watched TV in the 70s, you would be well familiar with the faces that cross the screen here - Peter Graves, Lorne Greene, Doug McClure, Burgess Meredith, Brock Peters, Robert Reed (Mr. Brady himself!), Robert Ito, etc. And then there's Billy Crystal as a gay steward (if this is ever put out on blu-ray, he should surely do the audio commentary) and John de Lancie as a passenger who slowly succumbs to the dark side... (sorry, wrong Star series).

'SST: Death Flight' gets so many things right as a disaster movie. The plethora of passengers and crew with complex backstories, natch, but they've made them likeable. It's surprisng to me how many other disaster films miss out on this important aspect. If we are to watch what happens to these characters for an hour and a half - often more - at least make us care about them. 'Death Flight' seems to know that it's patently ridiculous, but everyone appears to be having so much fun, it doesn't matter. Burgess Meredith shreds his lines as always like they're raw meat. Bert Convy and Misty Rowe have the most fun of all, with a completely gratuitous show of flesh for the foreign audience. The shots of the aircarft in flight would have been terrible for a film twenty years previously, but it's fine, it's all fine.

'Death Flight' is surely the closest staright airline disaster film to being a pre-Airplane spoof (and don't call me Shirley). The only thing it's missing is a nun or two. Good? Objectively no. But entertaining? Hell yes.
 
'The Doomsday Flight' [1966]

I somehow managed to miss this one when I was researching airplane movies, so we take a brief detour back in time for 'The Doomsday Flight' - which seems oddly appropriate as it was written by Rod Sterling.

The simple premise is that a man with exceptionally thick glasses has placed an aneroid bomb on a plane, the whereabouts of which he will divulge to the authorities for a cool $100K. (An aneroid bomb, by the way, is one that is designed to explode at a particular atmospheric pressure - in this case, below a certain altitude.) The authorities are Jack Lord as the head FBI guy on the scene and Ed Asner as the harrassed airport guy. Being a pre-Airport TV film, 'Doomsday Flight' doesn't mess around too much getting us up to speed on the vagaries of the passengers and crew. We accept them as they are, and know not whether this pretty stewardess is having an affair with the captain, or whether this passenger is mulling over thoughts of leaving her husband. They are just in the situation and will have to deal with it.

That's not to say that they are bland characters here - in fact, the acting is one of the best things about this film. Jack Lord is as cool and soild as you would imagine, despite his personal connection to the seemingly doomed plane, and Asner is great as a guy who probably doesn't get paid enough for this crap. Edmond O'Brien is terrific as the mad bomber, who slowly becomes more drunk and mad as time ticks on.

At its heart, this is a police procedural film, as we mostly follow our guys on the ground as they try to track down both the bomb and the planter of the bomb. There's a nice amount of suspense as they learn more about the details of the bomb, and a bit of a twist, albeit with a dash of Deus Ex Machina. There was an opportunity to take this film to a darker place at the finale, and I was slightly disappointed they didn't. But it's 1960s TV - what can you do?

According to Wikipedia, this film inspired some copycat bombers (non-fatally, I believe) and the FAA requested it not be shown again. That's a weird type of praise for a TV movie, and should have you seeking it out on YouTube just for that.
 
'The Ghost of Flight 401' [1978]

This TV movie is based on a 'true' story - depending on your belief in the supernatural, that is. Flight 401, co-piloted by an atypically jocular captain (Ernest Borgnine) crashes into the Everglades with several fatalities. Our captain initially survives, but succumbs to his injuries later. Meanwhile, the crashed plane is used for spare parts in other planes, with some weird results...

In essence, 'The Ghost of Flight 401' is a ghost story - or should be. The supernatural elements of this story, which makes up the bulk of the plot, portray a certain spookiness, but in a very TV-friendly way. It doesn't help that the writers throw a quasi-religious/spiritual angle into the mix, with characters debating aspects of the soul and taking comfort from the familiar presence. It's all a bit schmaltzy for my liking. Then on top of all that, we have the excellent Gary Lockwood, an airplane exec who plays the Mayor of Amity role here - downplaying the mysterious sightings, concerned what it'll mean to the airline's bottom line. His conflicted character is the best thing about this film, unless you count a very fresh-faced Kim Basinger in her first TV movie. She's actually good here in a stewardess role that doesn't require much from her.

'The Ghost of Flight 401' takes a good idea (again, supposed true) but doesn't do anything particularly special with it. A murky copy is available on YouTube for those that want.
 
'Crash' [1978]

The 1972 airplane disaster of Flight 401 must have been a big deal in 1978, as there were two TV movies made about it that year. It seemed right, therefore, that I watch them back to back.

'Crash' and 'The Ghost of Flight 401' tell the same story - of an otherwise routine flight that ends in tragedy - and both focus on the aftermath of the disaster. However, while 'Ghost...' delves into the later alleged supernatural occurrences, 'Crash' is interested in the hours immediately afterwards. On paper, 'Flight 401' should not have crashed, and the film turns that mystery into a grounded (sorry) and gritty hour and a half of TV.

The crash itself is one of the best I've seen thus far during this project. It's about as realistic as I would expect an airplane disaster to be, especially for a TV budget in the 70s. It's so good, in fact, that they play it twice - both beginning and end. After the initial crash scene, we're 'treated' to a series of flashbacks to establish characters, although none of this matters. Yes, they were real people, some whom survived, some who didn't, and later narration telling us what happened to whom is sort of interesting, I suppose. But the film isn't about them. It's about William Shatner in another airplane disaster film, this time as the thorn in every airline's side. He's the crash investigator and, godammit, he's gonna get to the truth no matter what.

'Crash' has a docudrama feel, with Shatner providing narration throughout, and on-screen titles stating exactly where and when events occur. Despite some good acting - Sharon Gless, Adrienne Barbeau, Lorraine Gary, etc - 'Crash' sags a little, but this may be as this was the second TV movie about the same disaster I had watched over two nights and I already knew why the flight crashed. I was also waiting for some mention of the ghosts, but no. 'Crash' does not pander to such baseless trivialities.

There's possibly a fun mash-up to be made from these two TV films, taking the gritty realism from one and adding in the spookiness of the other. Like 'Ghost...', 'Crash' is currently available via a VHS rip on YouTube complete with original 1978 commercials (lots of shampoo and cars).
 
'The Pursuit of D.B. Cooper' [1981]

A Vietnam vet finds himself on the wrong side of the law. Fortunately his former sergeant is on hand to try to find him and bring him to justice before further mayhem ensues.

That's the premise of 'First Blood', but curiously enough is also the plot of 'The Pursuit of D.B. Cooper', a vaguely comedic chase movie featuring Treat Williams as the titular hijacker and Robert Duvall as his pursuer. It's based on the true story of Dan Cooper (D.B. was a media error) who hijacked a plane in Nov 1971 and parachuted away into oblivion with $200K. The riddle of who this mystery man was has never been solved, so 'Pursuit...' extrapolates a possible scenario.

I suppose the title should have given me a heads-up, but this is not about the hijacking, which gets precious little screentime, and all about the fictional cat-and-mouse chase. Williams is fun to be around, and portrays Cooper as the happy-go-lucky everyman hero that we all want him to be. Duvall is excellent, of course, in the more serious role, and Kathryn Harrold is beautiful and cool as Cooper's wife. Paul Gleason rounds out the leads as another vet on their trail in his typically sleazy style.

According to Wikipedia, this film had a troubled production, with various writers and directors attached and fired along the way. Watching the film, it's not hard to see it was a difficult birth. It's uneven and doesn't flow easily. It's not exciting enough to be a good chase thriller, and not funny enough to be a comedy. It's entertaining, as the actors are giving it their all, but you can't help feel there was a missed opportunity here. The true story of Dan Cooper is crazy enough to be the starting point of a great film. But this isn't it.
 
'Air Crew' [1980]

Russia has a stab at the airplane disaster movie, and does a reasonable job in the process. It's very much in the 'Airport' style, with the first 80 minutes (titled Part 1) focusing on the lives of a handful of the crew. It's a long, arguably too long, character study which would have made an interesting, albeit plotless film in its own right. Late 70s Russia looks as dour as you might imagine, with only the playboy engineer character having any fun. His bachelor pad must have been the envy of Moscow, with a bed that plays loud cheesy pop complete with flashing disco lights whenever a young lady sits on it.

The second and slightly shorter half of this film concerns the disaster, that of an evacuation from a earthquake-torn town. The effects are excellent and the suspense is well done. Nothing here would have looked out of place in a Hollywood movie, with the eclectic passengers and heroic crew. The only issue I had was that very little in the first part seemed connected to the second. Yes, we had learned about the marriage troubles of the co-pilot, or the captain's daughter's pregnancy, but so what? Although, to be fair, similar comments could be made about many other more well-known disaster films too.

There is an unnecessary coda to the film that rushes through the same crew's lives post-disaster, tying up ends that could just have well been left untied. Overall, though, this is a well made movie with interesting characters, excellent acting and an effective disaster. It probably doesn't need to be 2 hrs and 20 mins long, but if you're in the mood for something different, there's a good copy with well-written subtitles currently on YouTube.
 
'Flight Crew' [2016]

Russia returns to the airline disaster genre thirty-six years after the release of 'Air Crew' by remaking it as 'Flight Crew' (AKA 'The Crew'). The bare bones of the story is the same - a dramatic rescue of people from an unstable city - with some significant changes. 'Air Crew' was a depressed and slightly depressing affair, showcasing (if that's the right word) a bleak view of the Mother Country. 'Flight Crew' is a much brighter, even flashy, depiction of Russia, with good-looking characters bursting with joie de vivre, or whatever the Russian equivalent is.

'Air Crew' was a character study film with a disaster tacked on; 'Flight Crew' is solidly a disaster film, with some characterization. We get to meet handsome 'Alex' (I'll explain more later) who off the bat is seen to be a loveable maverick, so much so he is discharged from the military and is looking to become a commercial pilot. We follow his training, as well as his infatuation with gorgeous 'Sandra', a colleague. All is not plain sailing (plane sailing?) in either pursuits, especially as he is paired with an overly stern old-hand pilot, in the mold of Louis Gossett Jr in 'An Officer and a Gentleman'.

This is a terrifically entertaining film. The plot does just enough to show you our characters outside of work for us to care about them, and is jam-packed with excellent action, suspense and effects. 'Flight Crew' veers off from the original once disaster strikes, taking the peril up a notch, but it works (if straining credulity a tad in the process).

In fact, the only downside is in the dubbing. I watched a version with English actors providing the voices and it just did not work. Any hint that this is Russian is scrubbed, including Anglicizing the names. The majority of voices are wooden and emotionless, at odds with what appears otherwise to be excellent acting. (It is so bad, in fact, that at one point a minor character can clearly be heard saying "I messed the line up"!). If there is a subtitled version out there readily available, let me know. I'd love to see it, and urge you to do so as well.
 
'The Concorde... Airport '79' [1979]

I grew up a few miles from Heathrow Airport, near London. A relative of ours - husband of a distant cousin or something - was a pilot and I remember whenever he would turn up at family gatherings, he would tell me and my brothers that he would take us on a tour of Concorde. I was probably not even ten, and Concorde was a huge deal. I don't recall whether he ever did get us onto this near-mythical plane, but I have a vague memory of a family photo taken in front of it. Was I in the photo? I have no idea, but somehow my mind believes I have a connection to Concorde.

And so I went into 'The Concorde... Airport '79' with some excitement. There was the plane again, looking sleek and elegant - on the runway, in flight, being torn apart... Whatever, I got a flood of nostalgia, which allowed me to gloss over the glaring fact that this film is dumb.

As is to be expected of an Airport film, we have a plethora of famous faces, and one very familiar one. George Kennedy is Joe Patroni again - a character that had little more than a cameo in the previous film, but now shares centre stage as a pilot. Along with his new job, he has had a complete personality reboot; he is now a horny quip-meister. Sitting next to him in the cockpit is the sophisticated Alain Delon - also horny, but a tad more subtle about it. Robert Wagner is the antagonist, playing Jonathan Hart's evil twin, and we have the usual suspects dotted around the plane - a deaf child, a woman whose son needs an organ transplant, a comic relief older woman and a stereotypical black character. It's somewhat surprising we don't have a married couple on the verge of divorce, but you can't have everything.

The Concorde gets into trouble early on, nearly getting blown out of the sky, then has a layover (literally, for Joe) before most of the passengers get back onboard and get sucked into disaster number two. The film doesn't make a lot of sense, but doesn't appear to mind. It's not quite tongue-in-cheek, but there is a certain sense that no one is taking any of this seriously. 'Airplane!' was released less than a year later, and doomed any serious Airport-style disaster films for a while, but 'The Concorde...' made a stab at it first.

And yet, and yet... 'The Concorde...' is not un-entertaining. If you go with the lackadaisical flow, get past the appalling quips and lame effects, the whole TV movie feel, you may find something to enjoy here. Or, at least, I did. Was it my probably-actually-nonexistent connection to Concorde that finally won me over? It's likely. Your air mileage may vary.
 
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'Starflight One' [1983]

Another TV movie that rises above (see what I did there?!) other airline disaster films by taking us into space. It's a gimmick that outstays its welcome somewhat, but overall it's good enough.

Starflight One is a new super-duper-sonic plane that can go from LA to Sydney in 2 hours. Engineer Josh Gilliam (Hal Linden) is the Voice of Reason who wants to postpone the maiden flight to run some more tests. But gruff, no nonsense airline head Q.T. Thornwell (Ray Milland) pooh-poohs such timidness. Onwards and upwards! Disaster strikes almost immediately when a rocket launched from Australia (what are the chances?) explodes, causing Captain Cody Briggs (Lee Majors) to head ever higher to avoid the debris. Thus begins a series of rescue attempts - some successful, some doomed - to get the crew and 59 passengers back to earth.

To start with, let us discuss the effects. John Dystra was the overseer here, so the models look OK, but the low TV budget is noticeable. The weightlessness effects are just plain dumb, mostly handled by getting the actors to bob up and down and move slowly. It's unconvincing and towards the end of the film it was like they weren't even bothering anymore. There is some tension in how to get everyone back safely, but it quickly devolves into a NASA Uber scheme, with the Space Shuttle Colombia being used as a taxi service. For a basically ticking clock plot (the oxygen is running out and the plane will eventually crash into earth's atmosphere) the film plays fast and loose with time frames, condensing several hours in order to suggest that a shuttle can refuel and head straight back up like filling up at a local Shell station.

There are some nice touches - the dead Australian ambassador is not just some weird aside and actually plays a role of sorts - but it's pretty standard stuff. Majors is appropriately stolid, but Lauren Hutton as his onboard mistress (of course there's the captain's mistress onboard) displays the best acting chops here. Plus the usual array of passengers - the newlyweds, the guy afraid of flying, the hungry reporters, a young girl - all boxes ticked.

'Starflight One' is not terrible, which is damp praise but a fair assessment. It's different enough to warrant a look, but with expectations sufficiently in check.
 
'Airplane II: The Sequel' [1982]

After taking a week off to visit friends and family in the Old Country, I'm back with the sequel to 'Airplane', rounding up many of the original cast. The plot is similar, inasmuch as Ted Striker (Robert Hays) has to take over the controls of a doomed (in this case) lunar shuttle, not that the plot really matters. The point of an 'Airplane' movie is gags - sight gags, background gags, one-liners and anything else that may or may not stick. They say you can't catch lightning in a bottle twice, and with 'Airplane II', they may be right.

'Airplane II' should work on paper. There are the same familiar faces in goofy situations with fast-paced jokes that never let up. Unfortunately, 'Airplane II' is let down by the ambivalence of your average movie goer - we want the same, only different. 'Airplane II' is all same, no difference. That's not to say that it isn't funny - there are many laugh-out-loud moments - but it can't help but feel like a rehash of what worked before.

Leslie Nielsen is missed here and would have lent a steady deadpan hand to the proceedings. Controversially, I found William Shatner to be the highlight instead, playing a character that gently mocks his Kirk persona (although, to be honest, it's not clear whether Shatner can differentiate between 'laughing with' and 'laughing at').

'Airplane II' is fun. And it's funny. But it just isn't fresh enough to equal the original.
 
Garp said:
'Airplane II: The Sequel' [1982]
Controversially, I found William Shatner to be the highlight instead, playing a character that gently mocks his Kirk persona (although, to be honest, it's not clear whether Shatner can differentiate between 'laughing with' and 'laughing at').

'Airplane II' is fun. And it's funny. But it just isn't fresh enough to equal the original.
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Shatner is freaking hilarious in this flick! Love the Shat-man!!! 🥰 (y):)
 
'The Taking of Flight 847' [1988]

This true-life TV movie stars Lindsay Wagner as Uli Derickson (the subtitle of this film is 'The Uli Derickson Story') as a flight attendant who acts as liaison between hijackers, passengers and other crew. It's a well-made film and, with the actual Derickson as consultant, most probably quite accurate to real events. However, there was something lacking for me.

The plot is straight-forward - Lebanese terrorists take over a plane from Athens and force the pilots to head instead for Algiers, where they demand fellow Lebanese prisoners to be released. Due to a shortage of fuel and paranoia around the safety of the airports, the plane flies back and forth between various destinations as the hijackers get increasingly erratic. For some reason, the main hijacker (played by an excellent Eli Danker) speaks mostly German, and so German flight attendant Uli takes on the role of translator. The film follows Uli as she tries to juggle calming the passengers, deescalating the hijackers and agreeing to their weirder demands (such as singing for them, and accepting a marriage proposal).

The film is mostly set onboard the plane and looks fine. The claustrophobic feel, especially as the hijackers became more physically aggressive, then deadly, is well done. Wagner is a stand-out here, balancing seeming scared and vulnerable while standing up to the hijackers and looking out for the passengers. She occasionally comes across as too passive, but overall it works.

Adhering to the actual events, however, may have been a detriment, as the story is mostly one of flying from one place to another, interspersed with random acts of violence. This may have worked better as a dramatized documentary, but for me it wasn't an entertaining film to watch. I suppose the purpose was to highlight Derickson's heroics, and it does that, and the interplay between the two leads is great. But there wasn't enough of anything else to feel like I was spending my time wisely.
 
'The Delta Force' [1986]

This one wasn't even on my radar until I read the wiki entry for 'The Taking of Flight 847' and discovered that this Chuck Norris film was also based on that real life hijacking. So I just had to grab it.

I'm ostensively a newbie when it comes to Chuck Norris. Paging through his filmography, it looks like the only other film I've seen him in is 'Expendables 2', and I don't even remember that very well. Still, it's not a shock to discover that Norris is your generic action hero, just not as good. He's not particularly handsome, not grotesquely steroid-fueled, no great shakes as an actor neither. He's monosyllabic, but knows how to handle a motorcycle and a gun. His introduction here stamps his maverick-cum-hero status, as he disobeys orders to save a fellow soldier from a helicopter about to explode. Oh yes, there are a lot of explosions in 'The Delta Force'.

The film boasts quite a roster of stars for what amounts to a B-movie action flick - Lee Marvin, Robert Vaughn, Martin Balsam, Shelley Winters, Joey Bishop, George Kennedy, plus Robert Forster bizarrely playing a Middle Eastern terrorist. The plot follows the real life hijacking pretty closely, as far as I know - at least, it's similar to the TV movie about it - then morphs into Operation Entebbe.

To be honest, I watched this two nights ago and it's already forgettable. I recall a number of movie staples - a car chase that crashes through a fruit stand being my favourite - and that there was no love interest to fawn over the uber-focused Norris. It was very Rambo Lite, Rah Rah USA, and the most basic of mindless entertainment. Apparently there were two sequels, but I think I'm done with this series already.
 
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