My Fear of Flying

[Garp]

(OK, so I don't actually have a fear of flying - I just find it uncomfortable and boring. But I thought the title fit well with my other threads.)

So I'm taking on a different kind of project starting this year. I really enjoy watching films with a theme and reviewing them, but without such a rigid schedule that my other yearlong pursuits have required. This then will be a thread of airplane movies, which I'll still probably review at least weekly, but I won't beat myself up if I skip a week or two here and there.

I started off just researching airplane disaster films, but soon discovered that the disaster genre overlaps fairly frequently with bomb plots and hijackings. So I included those too. Further research led me to a previously unknown sub-genre (to me) of airline horror (zombies and the supernatural), so those got thrown into the mix too. As far as I could gauge from Wikipedia and IMDB entries, I tried to limit myself to films where the bulk of the running time occurred on a plane; this meant axing plane crashes that were the trigger for survival-type films, such as 'Alive' or 'Flight of the Phoenix'. But it was more of a guideline than a rule, and I'm sure there are some on this list that I'll discover don't quite fit my original criteria.

Like my earlier threads, I have only seen one or two of these films with any certainty previously. As the months roll by, no doubt I'll be reminded why I never bothered to check some of these out before.

Here's my list - more or less in a chronological order, unless it seemed like some films should be grouped together:

Zero Hour! - [1957]
Terror in the sky - [1971]
Airplane! - [1980]
13 Hours by air - [1936]
No highway in the sky - [1951]
The High and the Mighty - [1954]
Jet over the Atlantic - [1959]
Jet Storm - [1959]
The Crowded Sky - [1960]
Twilight Zone: Nightmare at 20,000 feet [TV] [1963]
Airport - [1970]
Skyjacked - [1972]
This is a Hijack - [1973]
Horror at 37,000 feet - [1973]
Mayday at 40,000 feet - [1976]
Murder on Flight 502 - [1975]
Airport 1975
Airport ‘77
The Night they took Miss Beautiful - [1977]
SST: Death Flight - [1977]
The Ghost of Flight 401 - [1978]
Crash - [1978]
The Pursuit of D.B. Cooper - [1981]
Air Crew [Russian] - [1979]
Flight Crew [Russian, remake] - [2018]
Concorde: Airport 1979
Starflight One - [1983]
Airplane II - [1982]
The Taking of Flight 847 - [1988]
Fire and Rain - [1989]
Crash: The Mystery of Flight 1501 - [1990]
Miracle Landing - [1990]
A Thousand Heroes - [1992]
Passenger 57 - [1992]
Freefall - [1995]
Panic in the skies - [1996]
Hijacked - [1996]
Executive Decision - [1996]
Air Force One - [1997]
Strategic Command - [1997]
Con Air - [1997]
Airspeed - [1998]
Blackout Effect - [1998]
Turbulence - [1997]
Turbulence 2 - [1999]
Turbulence 3 - [2001]
Hijack’d - [2001]
Air Rage - [2001]
Air Panic - [2002]
Air Marshall - [2003]
Flightplan - [2005]
Snakes on a plane - [2006]
BONUS: Snakes on a train - [2006]
Mayday - [2005]
Red Eye - [2005]
Crash landing - [2006]
Flight 93 - [2006]
United 93 - [2006]
Altitude - [2010]
Turbulent skies - [2010]
Airline Disaster - [2010]
Air Collision - [2012]
Airborne - [2012]
The Assault - [2011]
Hijacked - [2012]
Non-stop - [2014]
Flight - [2012]
Sully - [2016]
Altitude - [2017]
The Captain [Chinese] -[2019]
7500 - [2020]
Flight 7500 - [2016]
Flight of the Living Dead - [2007]
Dark Flight - [2012]
Flight 666 - [2018]
Exorcism at 60000 feet - [2020]
Blood Red Sky - [2021]
Emergency Declaration - [2022]

That's a whopping 77 films & 1 TV episode. If there are any glaring omissions, please let me know and, if they are easy to track down, I'll add them too. I plan to watch the first one this week (not the earliest example of an airplane disaster movie, but one I believe will properly set the stage for what's to come).

Hope you'll grab a ticket and enjoy the ride too.

 

[Garp]

'Zero Hour!' [1957]

Or 'Blame it on the Halibut!'

It's impossible to watch 'Zero Hour!' (that exclamation point is perfect) without smiling. Not just because it's an entertaining B-movie thriller, but because your mind will inevitably wander to its more famous spin-off 'Airplane!' from 1980. Yes, 'Zero Hour!' is the foundation on which the Zuckers concocted their spoof, and it is spooky how faithful they were to the original. Scenes are recreated, lines are lifted verbatim, and the characters portray the same earnestness on display here.

Still, even on its own merits, 'Zero Hour!' is a lot of fun. Ted Stryker (Dana Andrews) is an ex-captain suffering from PTSD. He led a raid that resulted in the deaths of six of his squadron, and has been drifting from one dead end job to another. On the verge of his big break, his wife leaves him, and he just manages to board her plane in attempt at reconciliation. In the meantime, some dodgy fish is being served to the passengers and crew...

This is a very 1950s film, if that makes sense. The characters are one-dimensional, with only enough backstory related to help move the plot along. Sets are simple but effective, the soundtrack overly-dramatic, the acting the same. Andrews is sweaty and anxious throughout, not showing much more nuance and thus coming across as wooden and boring. Geoffrey Toone as the doctor is focused and noble, but it is Sterling Hayden as Stryker's ex-superior in air traffic control who gets to chew the most scenery. Yup, it certainly was a bad week to give up smoking.

At 81 minutes, the film zips along with no sagging, teasing out the drama in easily-digestible pieces, unlike the halibut. There's suspense, even though the ending is inevitable, and sickbags of melodrama. Surely that's enough.

 

[Garp]

'Terror in the Sky' [1971]

'Zero Hour!' gets a redo, and this time it's the chicken pot pie you should avoid. This TV movie gives you a glimpse of how much fun flying could be in the 70s - planes held up to allow a tardy passenger to board, and bottles of liquor passed around for everyone to take a liberal swig from to encourage more singing. Beyond that, though, this is a pale substitute for the earnestness of the 1957 original.

The film dispenses with any backstories, putting us right in the cabin from the get-go. Doug McClure as George Spencer is our reluctant hero, having seen a few things as a helicopter pilot back in 'Nam, but there's no flashbacks (at least for us - he seems internally occupied for a lot of the film). Roddy McDowall plays the doctor who wisely chose the lamb dinner, coming across as sterner than the warm bedside manner of his predecessor. He doesn't get to slap anyone, but you get a sense that he would if needed, and would probably enjoy it. Leif Erickson is the man on the ground, who has no previous relationship with pilot Spencer and so gets to bark at him a little less, which is a shame.

'Terror in the Sky' follows the same plot, throwing in a few asides for no apparent reason, such as a deaf girl as one of the passengers. There are few recognisable lines, but the suspense is well done again. McClure is far less self-assured than his usual leading man roles, which is an interesting change, giving McDowall a chance to man up and play the necessary bully. It's a passable remake that gets the job done, and would seem more entertaining if you've never seen 'Zero Hour!' Given the choice, however, opt for the original.

 

[Garp]

'Airplane!' [1980]

'Airplane!' is not the first film to spoof a genre, but it is probably one of the best loved and most quoted of its type. The genius of this film is that it takes so many well-known tropes from various films, adds slapstick and wordplay to bring out the ridiculousness, and does it all so straight-faced. The film rarely winks at the audience, letting us know it knows it's being silly. Instead, the actors - who have or could have been in many of the films its parodying - are spot-on in their melodramatic yet believable (if anything in this film can be considered believable) performances.

Watching 'Airplane!' so soon after the film(s) it's based on makes it all the funnier. The lines are already there; they just run with them and wring out more of the humour. The gags come thick and fast - verbally and visually - and I caught one I don't recall before: the jars of mayonnaise behind the doctor at the 'Mayo' clinic. With so much thrown at the screen and speakers, it's not surprising that not every gag lands, but that isn't really the point. The film is like a snowball, gathering momentum as it hurtles on. It's cumulatively funny.

Robert Hays and Julie Hagerty are a great double act as the leads, but the stand-outs for my money are Leslie Nielsen, Peter Graves, Lloyd Bridges and Robert Stack. The casting here is perfect. Any comedic actors from the 80s could have done these roles, but it just wouldn't have felt grounded (pun obviously intended).

'Airplane!' is a breezy easy film to kick back and let wash over you and quote along with. Yes, it's silly, and sometimes that's enough.

 

[Garp]

'13 Hours by Air' [1936]

One of the earliest airplane-plotted movies I discovered during my research, this 1936 caper involves a potential jewel thief, the Feds and a hijacking. Fred MacMurray and Joan Bennett are capable leads, and the film zips along at a cracking pace, but it just wasn't for me.

Things start well enough, with MacMurray (as pilot) flirting with one of his passengers (Bennett) who may or may not be the perpetrator of a recent diamond heist. The suspense and the chemistry sizzles, but things start to unwind. The film has the quickfire banter and quirky characters of a screwball comedy, but without the gags. The plot becomes more confusing as more characters are introduced and the story unfolds. By the time the hijacking takes place, I had already lost interest.

Still, it's not completely without charm. The model work of the plane is fun, if not particularly realistic, and it's always interesting to get an idea of how air travel used to be in more lackadaisical times. A rainy Sunday afternoon movie, but keep a book nearby just in case.

 

[Garp]

'No Highway in the Sky' [1951]

A scientist (James Stewart) is certain the plane he is on will suffer metal fatigue and crash, but only a film star (Marlene Dietrich) and a stewardess (Glynis Johns) believe him.

'No Highway in the Sky' is a funny little film. On paper and with other leading actors, this could have been a tense and suspenseful drama. But, for whatever reason, no one wanted to make that movie and instead we have an entertaining if disjointed film centered around James Stewart's eccentricity. Stewart here plays Theodore Honey, the oft-mentioned "boffin" (the characters love this word) as a spiritual successor to George Bailey; he has quirks and bumbles about in a typical Jimmy Stewart way. In any other actor, it would seem over the top, but, come on, it's Jimmy Stewart, let him be.

The fate of the plane is secondary to the relationships boffin Honey makes along the way, notably with Dietrich first, then Johns. Things get a bit rushed here, but it adds to the fantasy element of this film in which nothing seems particularly realistic.

There are a lot of familiar British actors on show, including one famous actor as one of the pilots in an uncredited role, for some reason; if Stewart wasn't the lead, you could well imagine his name topping the bill, so it was a pleasant surprise to see his face pop up, and why I won't name him now.

'No Highway in the Sky' wasn't the film I was expecting, but it was a fun watch nonetheless. Fans of Jimmy Stewart will lap this up.

 

[Garp]

'The High and the Mighty' [1954]

Something is wrong with a plane flying from Honolulu to San Francisco. Fortunately John Wayne is onboard to smooth things along.

This is a quintessential airline disaster movie, complete with a whole host of characters with complex backstories and some stoic heroes. Much of the first half of this overlong film (it clocks in at two and a half hours) is taken up with getting to know our characters, either via flashback or in a scenario later adopted by Mr. Roarke on 'Fantasy Island' as he tells his diminutive assistant the life stories of their guests. Here though it's the staff at the ticket check-in counter who know all the goss and get to dish it.

John Wayne plays one of the pilots with his own tragic backstory. He is the star, but with so many characters to juggle, he can be offscreen for long periods of time and only really comes into his own towards the end. Is it possible I have never seen a John Wayne film before this? I think so, not being a fan of Westerns and war films. As an introduction to the huge man, it's not a bad one. His much imitated drawl is less pronounced and annoying than I expected, and his bulk seems to do much of the heavy lifting when it comes to acting. Still, he has a commanding presence and gets to slap Robert Stack around (his co-pilot, no less) so all is good.

There is much melodrama to wrung out of the characters' lives and woes, but at least one noteworthy slice of poignancy. Jan Sterling does a wonderful job portraying a woman coming to terms with aging in a role that could have been overdone but wasn't. Being the 1950s, we also have a few ethnic stereotypes to contend with - the South Korean woman is treated with kid gloves by the cast, leaving the older Italian gentleman to be the comic relief.

The suspense - will they make it to San Francisco or ditch in the sea? - is well played, but the ending is milked somewhat. Some of the loose ends are left loose, such as the alcoholic with some government plans or other, and another character whose motive for being on the plane was to kill the man he believed to be having an affair with his wife. But it all adds to the heady mix.

I went in to 'The High and the Mighty' with low enthusiasm, but was pleasantly surprised. It's quite the roller coaster. A very long roller coaster, but a fun ride nonetheless.

 

[Garp]

'Jet over the Atlantic' [1959]

There's a toxic incendiary device aboard a plane, but unfortunately it doesn't take out enough people in this turgid B-movie.

There's not a lot to praise in 'Jet over the Atlantic'. It stars George Raft, with his distinctive raspy voice, slightly miscast as an FBI agent (I can't see him playing for that side somehow), so if you're a Raft fan, it has that going for it. Otherwise, you're left with a planeload of unlikeable people with bizarre motivations and Guy Madison as the one who has to step up after the crew are incapacitated. Oh, there are other things going on as well, I suppose, but I slept through a lot of it and don't feel the least bit guilty.

This film reeks 'B-movie', which isn't a bad thing per se. But it doesn't attempt to do anything interesting within these constraints. The sets are bland, the acting mediocre at best, the dialogue forgettable and the plot basic and dull. Some suspense could be wrought from a plane that is on fire and billowing noxious fumes, you would think, but there isn't any. This film doesn't aim very high, but misses nonetheless.

My naps were refreshing, though.

 

[Garp]

'Jet Storm' [1959]

My second 1959 film with 'Jet' in the title. This British film takes a dollop of 'The High and the Mighty' and swirls in a dash of 'Jet over the Atlantic' (or JotA borrowed from this; I'm not sure which was released first) to serve you up an entertaining drama/thriller with a host of familiar UK character actors.

Richard Attenborough is the star, playing a jittery Ernest Tilley, a passenger with a heavy heart. Oh, and a bomb. He has one particularly victim in mind, but doesn't mind all the other passengers, his wife and himself being collateral damage. (Happy Anniversary, dear.) As the other passengers and crew learn of his fiendish plot, they devise opposing ways to deal with him, leading to much of the drama and tension.

'Jet Storm' is a funny old film, and I mean that in the nicest way possible. Where else could you find Richard Attenborough, Goon Show comedian Harry Secombe and 50s British pop sensation Marty Wilde in the same film? It's a strange mix all right, but it somehow manages to work. Perhaps to appeal to an American audience, there are a few US characters onboard (some good, some bad for balance). Like 'The High and the Mighty', 'Jet Storm' spends time with all of the passengers who are either bizarrely blase about their impending doom, or trying to start an uprising. In great dramatic fashion, just when you believe Tilley's motivation has been curtailed, the tension actually increases. The denouement is a tad trite, but the writers had written themselves into a corner and was probably the best they could come up with. It doesn't detract too much from the film - there's only one possible way such a film can end, no matter how many options are presented - and I have to say I enjoyed it immensely. Currently free to view on Tubi.

 

[Garp]

'The Crowded Sky' [1960]

One jet flies in one direction, one airplane flies in another. Can disaster be averted?

For much of its runtime, this film follows a well-trodden path of many an airplane disaster feature - the juggling of the many characters and their own triumphs and tragedies. And then about 20 minutes before the end you realise that 'The Crowded Sky' may be the greatest movie ever made.

OK, so that might be an exaggeration. Still, 'The Crowded Sky' is so damn entertaining on so many levels that I wouldn't strongly argue against anyone making that claim. To begin with, let's consider the most obvious directing quirk this film employs. As each of the many characters contemplates their existence, the camera zooms in on their face. We hear their echoey internal monologue as the character makes the totally normal and not at all creepy facial expressions we all do while we think. The first time we experience this phenomena, it seems odd, but we go with it for sake of suspension of disbelief. When we realise that this is not a one-off and the director Joseph Pevney has nailed his colors to this particular cinematic flag that we go through something akin to the stages of grief. It occurs so often it could be a drinking game. It's bizarre and fascinating and I'm still trying to process it.

'The Crowded Sky' is also a time capsule of social mores of the early 1960s. Characters freely discuss premarital sex, but it's not all fun and games. Those unwanted pregnancies can really jeopardise your career, guys. Plus watch out for the gals who fake it to try to snare you! But parents don't get off easy either. Do you know where your kids are? Could they be ransacking a house, emptying tins of food onto the kitchen floor and pushing mattresses together? (I don't know whether these activities are related in some way; I'm a 70s child and have no idea what kinky stuff those 60s kids got up to.)

Then, finally, we get to the climax. Characters we have spent over an hour with are casually cut from the film, and others meet their potential doom with a shrug (one character in particular is rather dismissive about the death of their spouse). Still more use this calamity to hit on another passenger, or as motivation for an upcoming film role. It's fantastic.

I rented this from Amazon but, dammit, now I have to buy it. I cannot call myself a serious film collector unless I own this gem. Like 'The Giant Claw' (don't judge me) 'The Crowded Sky' will get regular viewings on my big screen. When Scorsese talks about cinema, this is what he means.

 

[bionicbob]

I am completely unfamiliar with "The Crowded Sky" but now, based on your praise, I MUST watch it!!!!

 

[Garp]

Be advised, based on Letterboxd, I am VERY much in the minority here. But it's definitely on my 'So bad it's good' list now. Enjoy!

 

[Garp]

'Cone of Silence' [1960]

'Cone of Silence' wasn't on my original list of airplane films to watch, but I think I read about it around the time I saw 'No Highway in the Sky'; at least, it shares certain similarities. The film is not so much an airplane disaster movie, but a film about the investigation surrounding such disasters. Bernard Lee (the original M in the early Bond films) is the aging, strictly by the book pilot who is scapegoated for potential plane malfunctions. On his side is the dashing young Michael Craig, while a wonderfully slimy Peter Cushing and a perfectly arrogant and sneering George Sanders oppose him.

This is not an edge of your seat thriller. The ratio of successful to unsuccessful flights swing more heavily to the former rather than the latter, which adds a certain element of suspense (will our Captain cock up again?), but also makes the second act sag. There is a romance subplot which actually enhances the main plot, rather than just tacked on, but the emphasis is on clearing Lee's name.

'Cone of Silence' does enough to entertain, if police procedural-type films are your bag. It was worth a watch for me just to see Cushing and Sanders in top form. Currently free to watch on YouTube.

 

[bionicbob]

This is the only Cone of Silence I know of.... LOL

 

[Garp]

'Fate is the Hunter' [1964]

Another film my earlier research had skipped. 'Fate is the Hunter' is another disaster investigation film in the vein of 'Cone of Silence'. A plane, piloted by the overly jocular Jack Savage (Rod Taylor), crashes soon after takeoff. Sam McBane (Glenn Ford) doesn't believe that his friend Jack, despite his many flaws, is to blame and goes on a quest to uncover the truth.

'Fate is the Hunter' is as much a character study as it is a slow-burning mystery. Even when the film plods a little, the acting is superb, Ford especially so. He tracks down Jack's acquaintances in an attempt to discover more about the man he flew with in the war, in a 'Third Man' type way. We learn more about Jack via a series of flashbacks, each one showing us another facet of his personality. This is skillfully handled, as we begin to question him, loathe him then respect him in equal measure. Taylor has to juggle these different aspects and does a pretty good job - perhaps erring on over-the-top on a couple of occasions.

Supporting actors equally hold their own, notably Suzanne Pleshette as a stewardess, and Wally Cox and Mark Stevens as old war buddies who took different paths after 1945. Some of the plane effects are basic, but the crash and subsequent wreckage are well done. The manner McBane employs to get to the heart of the original disaster is a little unbelievable, as too many unknown variables are in play for it to work effectively, but I was drawn in by this stage and let it pass.

I was pleasantly surprised by 'Fate is the Hunter'. The acting alone makes it worth a viewing. If you think you can stomach two slow investigative airline films back to back, it would make a good double feature with 'Cone of Silence'.

 

[Garp]

'Nightmare at 20,000 feet' [TV] [1963]

This Twilight Zone episode is arguably one of the most famous of the series, so much so that it was remade twice. The plot, from a Richard Matheson short story, is simple - a man, traveling on a plane six months after having a nervous breakdown (also on a plane), believes he sees a 'gremlin' trying to sabotage the engine during the flight. The original version stars a pre-Kirk William Shatner, displaying a realistic range of emotions without the verbal tics he later became known for. He's partnered by Christine White as his wife (neither remake has the lead with a spouse onboard), which adds an interesting element that the others miss. Shatner battles to reassure his wife that he isn't going crazy again, yet is still compelled to act in ways that would lead anyone to believe he was having another breakdown as he tries to save the plane. The gremlin here looks more cuddly and curious than malicious, despite the devastation it's causing.

Twenty years later, this episode was remade for the ill-fated 'Twilight Zone: The Movie', with John Lithgow as the nervous passenger. While Shatner went from anxiety level 1 to 10 in the course of the original episode, Lithgow is already at 8 when we meet him and goes all the way to 11. It's an over-the-top performance, although to be fair the gremlin is much more sinister-looking. I watched Kaiji's fan edit, which added Rod Sterling's narration and desaturated it to black and white, which was effective. Still, it was my least favourite of the three I viewed.

And then again, in 2019, we got another reboot, courtesy of Jordan Peele for his 'Twilight Zone' series. Perhaps not so much a reboot, but more of that fancy term 're-imagining' as the plane adds 10,000 feet (it's now 'Nightmare at 30,000') and drops the gremlin. Instead, passenger Adam Scott finds an MP3 player in the seat pocket that is playing a podcast about the mysterious disappearance of the flight he's on. It's a great hook and despite the fact that his onboard antics would have had him duct-taped to a chair way before the halfway mark of this episode, it does well to keep the suspense and mystery going. The gremlin makes a pseudo-cameo appearance towards the end, but otherwise '30,000 ft' is its own beast. The very final ending is unnecessary and to my mind took a little something away from the rest of the episode. Not that everything that preceded it was believable, but the climatic scene stretched credulity to an absurd length.

 

[Garp]

'Airport' [1970]

'The High and the Mighty' and 'The Crowded Sky' were mere appetizers. Here comes the main course in the form of 'Airport', the film that launched the disaster movie boom of the 70s, as well as a 4 film franchise of its own.

It's not hard to see why this was such a success. There's a plethora of stars, plot lines, effects and drama packed into this 137 minute opus. The film begins with a minor catastrophe - a plane stuck in snow at the fictional Lincoln Airport, outside of Chicago, with its tail blocking a runway - which becomes a much bigger deal when Flight 2 to Rome has to make an emergency landing.

Burt Lancaster earns top billing as the airport manager, but once the doomed plane takes flight (at the 70 minute mark - there's a lot of backstory first), it's Dean Martin's film, as the playboy co-pilot. Dino is an interesting choice; he can obviously play a player, but his swagger undermines the more dramatic scenes asked of him. I never found him believable, nor believed that gorgeous Jacqueline Bisset as air stewardess would have anything to do with this aging lothario.

In fact, it was the soap opera additions to the story that dragged the film down for me. It didn't really matter that Lancaster and his wife were having marital troubles and on the verge of a divorce, or that Martin's and Bisset's affair was about to take an unexpected turn. But maybe that's just because I wanted to get to the action. There is a bomb onboard and, as Hitchcock exhorts, there's only one reason to include such a device in a film.

'Airport' was shot with 70mm Todd-AO film; I don't know enough about the process, but maybe something about the lenses made even the lifesize shots look like models to me. Director George Seaton also employs a number of split-screens, but not enough to be too distracting.

The main reason to watch and keeping watching, however, is the award-winning performance of Helen Hayes as the elderly stowaway. She is such a delight here, like a Sleeping Beauty fairy brought to life, but with a penchant for scamming free flights. There's also the usual roster of eclectic passengers, including the obligatory nuns and a priest - who gets the greatest sight gag in the whole film, by the way.

Even in its bloated state, 'Airport' is a great watch. I've probably watched the best of the four in this one, but I'm hopeful that some of the original's spirit is kept alive in '75', '77' and 'Concorde'.

 

[Garp]

'Skyjacked' [1972]

"Moses, take the wheel..."

Charlton Heston takes a ride on the airline disaster bandwagon, as captain of a plane with a mad bomber onboard. That alone must have got some bums on seats back in 1972, but I admit I was squirming in mine.

'Skyjacked', helmed by John Guillermin (director of possibly the best Tarzan film, 'Tarzan's Greatest Adventure' [1959]) is a surprisingly anemic affair. It's part mystery, part thriller, part melodrama, with none of them rising far enough above to make the whole entertaining. The mystery lies in who is the bomber, who writes their demands with a red lipstick. Considering that there is a smaller roster of characters for your usual airline disaster, it's not too hard to figure out. When they unmask themselves, the thriller part sets in, as their demands are reluctantly met. Heston briefs the passengers on the hijacking and the bomb, and they take it as if he's just told them the inflight movie has been canceled. Maybe 70s passengers were used to hijackings, but their nonchalance pulls down the stakes and makes the thriller part of this film, well, less thrilling. There is little suspense once our bomber ramps up the crazy, and the passengers and crew do little in the way to prevent their fate. Even when the pesky Russians get involved, it's still fairly ho-hum.

The melodrama is tacked on. Airline disaster movies are supposed to have characters with troubled backstories, I suppose, and so predictably Heston has marital issues due to an affair with a stewardess. There are a few flashback sequences to fill us in, but it adds nothing and drags down an already leaden script. Oh, and for good measure, we get an 8mth pregnant woman starting to have her contractions inflight too.

There are a few well-known faces here - Susan Dey, Nicholas Hammond, Walter Pidgeon and James Brolin, who looks like an 'American Psycho' era Christian Bale. There isn't anything particularly notable about any of the acting here, I'm afraid.

'Skyjacked' needed a boost of adrenaline that never came. I was disappointed with this one.

 

[Garp]

'This is a Hijack' [1973]

Allow me a moment to let you peek behind the curtain of my life. After a day working to help people apply for disability benefits, after dinner, after trying to figure out Maths problems with my daughter, after my wife has gone to bed, I trundle downstairs to our basement and watch films on my modest home cinema, projected onto an 11' screen. This is Me Time, when I can relax, unwind, forget about all the other worries going on right now. 90% of the time I'll choose to watch something I've never seen before, in the hope that I'll discover a new favourite or an unbeknownst masterpiece. Usually though, I just want to be entertained for a couple of hours. Is that too much to ask? I don't think so.

And so it almost physically pains me when I choose to spend my precious Me Time in the company of such dross as 'This is a Hijack', a film so meaningless that even if I hadn't fallen asleep multiple times throughout, I still wouldn't understand what it was about. The premise is that a man decides to hijack a plane and hold the passengers for ransom in order to pay off debts. So far, so so-so. And yet that fails to describe how utterly inept the execution of this film is. The characters are unlikeable, the actors incompetent, the action lowkey and the script inane. At one point, the main characters are in a restaurant. People at an adjoining table get into an argument. It escalates as we try to make out what our main characters are talking about. Suddenly someone at the next table produces a gun and shoots his opponent. Chaos ensues, then ends. What was the point? None, as far as I could tell. Just "Hey, what if there's a gunfight while they're eating - wouldn't that be cool?" No, actually, it wouldn't.

Is this supposed to be a comedy of sorts? Perhaps - it's kind of farcical, but it's done so hamfisted that it's unclear whether the humour is intentional or not. I'm not sure what it is or who they thought the audience was for this. It's not thrilling, it's not action-packed, it's not titillating or bloodthirsty enough to be drive-in fodder. It's just there, being stubbornly unentertaining.

I cannot think of a single reason why you should seek out this film. It's not 'So bad, it's good'. It's just bad and, worse than that, dull. I want my evening back.

 

[Garp]

'The Horror at 37,000 feet' [1973]

I imagine everyone has a film that freaked them out when they were a kid. For me, it was the remake of 'Invasion of the Body Snatchers' with Donald Sutherland, a film that my older brothers thought it would be funny for me to watch with them when it came on TV one night. I have no idea whether it is as terrifying as my mind remembers it to be, as I have never seen it since.

Similarly, I would not be surprised if there are many adults who recall being traumatised after watching a TV movie from 1973 called 'The Horror at 37,000 feet' on an otherwise unassuming Tuesday night. That's not to say that it is a scary film, merely that it's the kind of spooky movie I can picture the family gathering around the TV to see. Years later, they find a copy of it streaming on YouTube, pluck up the courage to revisit their nightmares, and discover that it's not very good at all.

'The Horror at 37,000 feet' is a supernatural airplane movie, featuring haunted stones being transported from England to America, very much against their will. William Shatner is the 'name' here amongst some well-known faces, taking another spooky flight after his famous spin on 'The Twilight Zone'. His character is too laidback to be considered the hero, although he takes some unintentionally heroic actions. In fact, there are no major heroes or villains here, nor any likeable characters for that matter. The ghosts are unseen throughout, casting their creepy vibes through the use of wind machines, smoke, ice, garbled Latin phrases and globules of green goo. Effective enough to threaten the dry pants of a child watching with their family.

The film works well enough within its confines of being TV-friendly with a TV-budget. It's like a ghost story around a campfire late at night with your family - just a tad scary, perhaps, but still safe. In the right context, you may find some spooky fun here.