My Fear of Flying

[Garp]

'Fire and Rain' [1989]

This 1989 TV movie chronicles the 1985 airline disaster at the Dallas/Fort Worth airport in which an atmospheric anomaly known as a 'wind shear' caused a plane to crash. The narrated titles at the beginning of the film inform us that 137 people died that day, and we witness the crash less than 20 minutes later. There's little in the way of getting to know our crew and passengers in the meantime - we already know that most on board won't survive - so you may suspect that the rest of the 89 minute runtime depicts an in-depth investigation of the crash, perhaps led by a heroic type who at one point bangs his fist on a table surrounded by bland men in suits, yelling, "Dammit, this isn't going to happen on my watch! Not again!".

But 'Fire and Rain' isn't that movie. OK, so how about a story about the 28 people who miraculously managed to survive this carnage?

No. Wrong again. In fact, 'Fire and Rain' has no obvious focus. It is a film about a plane crash, featuring an ensemble cast of well-known actors, and the immediate aftermath of such a tragedy. There is no leading role here, no hero or heroine to root for, such as Uli Derickson in 'The Taking of Flight 847'. Instead we have the likes of Tom Bosley, Robert Guillaume, Dean Jones and Patti LaBelle coming on screen for brief moments so we can say "Oh, I remember him/her" before they get shuffled off again. We see Angie Dickinson taking charge in the ER Dept, which works, and David Hasselhoff as a brain surgeon, which (spoilers) doesn't. The film could charitably be called 'gritty' as it doesn't flinch from portraying just how obviously terrible a plane crash is. But 'exploitative' could also be used here (this was shown on TV only 4 years after the event).

The film does show other aspects that perhaps aren't routinely given mention in other films of this type, such as the looting of strewn suitcases, the ambulance-chasing lawyers or, more bizarrely, how the survivors are asked to talk to the victims' families only a few hours after the event to help them grieve. (Which goes spectacularly badly when they relate how they were stepping on body parts to escape...) The moment when a baby is found alive in the wreckage suggested that we had found the crux of this film - a miraculous survival! - but (spoilers again) no. That hope gets crushed within a few minutes too.

Before the credits roll, we are told that planes and airports were to have better ways to detect 'wind shears' by 1992 to prevent such accidents in the future. But this was a battle waged offscreen. That movie might have been pretty good. I think I would have preferred to see that one, all things considered.

 

[Garp]

'Crash: The Mystery of Flight 1501' [1990]

To be fair, 'Crash' does not purport to be based on a true story. There is no such claim at the beginning, nor as the credits start to roll 90 minutes later. It does have a feel that it could be true, as we get to know our harrassed pilot (Doug Sheehan) and his equally harrassed wife (Cheryl Ladd) as they bicker in the airport before his flight. We have glimpses of passenegers who may also have existed, and yet as the story unfolds, you begin to suspect that something is off.

Let me be clear: 'Crash' is not a good TV movie. The characters do not talk or act like real people. They are quick to have their feathers ruffled at the merest slight in order to add tension to a script that does not make sense. The dialogue is tin, the acting is ham. But for all that, it is entertaining in a wait-what-just-happened kind of way.

At its core, the 'mystery' of the subtitle is why flight 1501 crashed. Cheryl is our heroine here, stubbornly refusing to believe the 'pilot error' line fed by the so-called experts. As she, and the experts, and journalists, dig deeper, they find, well, shenanigans. What were the CIA doing so quickly at the crash site? What about that bomb threat? How did the dog die? What's up with the early form of Viagra the pilot was taking (yes, really)? There is so much thrown at the screen that you're afraid to check your phone as it trundles on in case you miss another theory.

And on it goes, until the mystery is solved in a anticlimatic sort of way. 'Crash' doesn't rise to the 'So bad it's good' category, but could fit quite comfortably in a lower tier, a 'So dumb it's entertaining' folder, along with most of the Fast & Furious franchise, and pretty much anything by Michael Bay.

 

[Garp]

‘Miracle Landing’ [1990]

Right off the bat, we’re told that this TV movie is based on a true story, with a brief synopsis of the catastrophe that occurred. Combine that info with the spoiler title, and any opportunity for suspense flies out the window, so to speak. We’re then thrust into the action, but wait, it’s actually a ‘Wrath of Khan’-like opening, and we have time to catch our breath while shown the lives of our crew pre-disaster.

And what a cheery crew they are. OK, so it’s set in Hawaii, so I’d probably be pretty chipper there too, but everyone is so unabashedly upbeat here. Wayne Rogers plays Captain Bob, the pilot, who is still free with the quips while facing what seems to be certain death. Connie Sellecca is his co-pilot, about to become the first female pilot for the airline, if she can survive. Add in plucky flight attendant (Ana Alicia) and a roster of cliched passengers, and you have yourself a pretty standardairplane disaster movie.

The main problem with this film is focus. This story is being retold because, despite the odds, only one person died due to the in-flight incident. That incident is filmed in a way that might put you off flying for a few days, but any initial shock is blunted by everything that happens afterwards. We’re left with green screen effects and an aggressive wind machine for the remainder of the film. There are unintentionally humorous scenes, such as the passenger with a strip of plastic stuck to his face, but moreso are the ways the writers choose (unwisely) to pad the runtime. It seems odd that, after ‘Airplane!’ any film of this nature would have their characters stare into the distance during a disaster and show a flashback of them battling other odds including – yes – our pilot’s time in ‘Nam. Yet, it’s a thing that exists, so you have been warned.

As I would have expected of Maui air traffic controllers, they are a laidback lot who don’t take the disaster too seriously, frequently mishearing the flight number of the plane that will possibly blow up their main runway. Once that drama is taken care of, the film meanders unnecessarily, inserting a coda of a by-the-book FBI guy hassling crew and passengers, trying to find a bomb angle. It’s as if the writers were aware that the ending is anticlimactic, but this stab at another ending doesn’t work either.

‘Miracle Landing’ squeaks into the Entertaining Enough category – just – although on occasions probably not for the reasons the filmmakers intended.

 

[Garp]

‘A Thousand Heroes’ [1992]

The title presumably refers to the number of people involved in the rescue efforts, when Flight 232 crash lands in Sioux City, Iowa. Yes, this is another real-life tragedy, being told only three years after the event.

‘A Thousand Heroes’ is written by Harve Bennett, so it is fitting that this too starts with a ‘Wrath of Khan’-like opening. Unlike many an airline disaster flick, this film is unconcerned with getting to know passengers and crew (although the latter get more screentime). The focus instead is very much on the apparently groundbreaking (sorry) response by the rescue teams, under the leadership of Gary Brown (Richard Thomas). He’s a maverick, doing whatever must be done to ensure that Sioux City can handle any emergency. This means butting heads with Fire Chief Jim Hathaway, a wonderfully irascible James Coburn, who is chewing on a cigar when he’s not chewing someone out.

The disaster occurs about halfway through, and you wonder whether everything is actually going to be OK, in part as it’s Charlton Heston again at the controls. He has ice water flowing through his veins as he grapples that giant iron bird to the ground, sort of. But no, there is a calamity. Thank god we’re in safe hands from now on with Thomas and Coburn leaping into action.

The crash opts for showing the actual crash as filmed by a local TV crew, which always rubs me the wrong way. One hundred and twelve people died in the accident, and I find it distasteful footage of that being used as entertainment, especially so soon after it occured. But then we’re into the meat and potatoes of the film – finding survivors, triaging, putting out fires, etc. I’m sure it’s all very true to life and it’s mildly interesting. It’s a worthy endeavour, I suppose, to honor the people who saved so many lives (184, according to Wikipedia), and it’s always fun to watch James Coburn, but overall this one wasn’t for me.