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The Voyage of the Dawn Treader ~The Book Cut~

Okay, so here's the video showing what cutting most of Coriakin's lines out would look like, as well as the transition from that to the storm.


Password: fanedit.org
 
I think it will have to do, I have seen worse in proper films, as long as the story itself makes sense I think it will be fine.
 
lotrjjw said:
I think it will have to do, I have seen worse in proper films, as long as the story itself makes sense I think it will be fine.
Click to expand...

Alright, well then for now I guess I'll just have to stick with this then.
 
Im surprised no one else has given you any feedback by now! I guess once you are finished editing we could have a tester before you do a final release and people can see how the film flows as a complete edit.
 
lotrjjw said:
Im surprised no one else has given you any feedback by now! I guess once you are finished editing we could have a tester before you do a final release and people can see how the film flows as a complete edit.
Click to expand...

Well not everyone has seen the film or doesn't have any input on the scenes and yeah I was planning on having a couple people view it before I submit it.
 
I wonder if the film will make sense without Coriakin. I'll have to watch those scenes again. I seem to remember it being a very flashy info dump.
Your cut works, but is a little off. Coriakin is built up to a major character and then... nothing. Perhaps you could do a voice-over of him explaining "you must go to this island to stop the evil threatening everything"
Although the map scene is visually fantastic. Would be a shame to lose it entirely...
 
dangermouse said:
I wonder if the film will make sense without Coriakin. I'll have to watch those scenes again. I seem to remember it being a very flashy info dump.
Your cut works, but is a little off. Coriakin is built up to a major character and then... nothing. Perhaps you could do a voice-over of him explaining "you must go to this island to stop the evil threatening everything"
Although the map scene is visually fantastic. Would be a shame to lose it entirely...
Click to expand...

Well, I can't use a lot of his stuff because of he's talking about the mist, so I thought about doing a voice-over of him talking about going to Ramandu's Island. But I'm not sure if that would be enough to work with.
 
Cut straight from Dufflepuds and lint to map room
Keep the stuff about Dark Island - evil emanating from there.
How do we stop it?
Follow the blue star to Ramandu's Island.
Can cut there if necessary, but I think it's better to keep going with
Beware you are all about to be tested.
Reaction shots.
To defeat the darkness out there, you must defeat the darkness inside yourself (quote a critical line, maybe?)
 
dangermouse said:
Cut straight from Dufflepuds and lint to map room
Keep the stuff about Dark Island - evil emanating from there.
How do we stop it?
Follow the blue star to Ramandu's Island.
Can cut there if necessary, but I think it's better to keep going with
Beware you are all about to be tested.
Reaction shots.
To defeat the darkness out there, you must defeat the darkness inside yourself (quote a critical line, maybe?)
Click to expand...

Alright, I guess I'll try this and then upload a test video, also do you mean to cut straight from Dufflepuds to everyone already looking at the map or to them in the hallway and talking?
 
Eep, I'm far behind on feedback! I also still owe you a Caspian review.

The scene with the Eustace duel looks fine. It's so seamless, I'm not even sure what was cut there.

I think that you'll have to keep Eustace a dragon for as long as he is in the movie, for the reasons that you mentioned. I would really love for the scenes to be shifted around to book order, but I don't think that's possible with the material available. You'd have to make Eustace weirdly absent from many scenes and have his character development all out of order, as has been noted.

I had no problem with the Coriakin scene as you had originally edited it -- he dispels the Dufflepud threat, so it seems like his purpose in the story is complete. But after reading dangermouse's suggestions, I think he's right. There might be a way to at least salvage some of that map scene, which is the most visually stunning moment in the movie. It's worth a shot.

I realize that I'm not exactly being profoundly insightful, just kind of agreeing with what's already been said. Still, you hadn't been getting a lot of feedback, so I wanted to offer my $0.02. :)
 
TomH1138 said:
Eep, I'm far behind on feedback! I also still owe you a Caspian review.

The scene with the Eustace duel looks fine. It's so seamless, I'm not even sure what was cut there.

I think that you'll have to keep Eustace a dragon for as long as he is in the movie, for the reasons that you mentioned. I would really love for the scenes to be shifted around to book order, but I don't think that's possible with the material available. You'd have to make Eustace weirdly absent from many scenes and have his character development all out of order, as has been noted.

I had no problem with the Coriakin scene as you had originally edited it -- he dispels the Dufflepud threat, so it seems like his purpose in the story is complete. But after reading dangermouse's suggestions, I think he's right. There might be a way to at least salvage some of that map scene, which is the most visually stunning moment in the movie. It's worth a shot.

I realize that I'm not exactly being profoundly insightful, just kind of agreeing with what's already been said. Still, you hadn't been getting a lot of feedback, so I wanted to offer my $0.02. :)
Click to expand...

It's alright and as a matter of fact you actually were helpful with the duel scene, as I hadn't received any feedback on that yet, so thanks for your comments they're much appreciated :)
 
I also agree with the other two posters, if you can add anything of the map scene even just some small snippits then that will help, as it was in the book, it just wasnt done exactly how it was in the book. It wont really help Coriakin's character, just helping the film itself to flow better.
 
SoboFilms said:
Alright, I guess I'll try this and then upload a test video, also do you mean to cut straight from Dufflepuds to everyone already looking at the map or to them in the hallway and talking?
Click to expand...
No, I mean cut out the hallway (because he mentions the mist, and because it's a boring scene!). Go from Eustace saying "silly me" to Edmund walking into the room.
Cut after Coriakin says "you must break it's spell" and resume just after he says "where I sent them" (when it zooms along the map) (i.e. cut out the crap about the swords and the lords)
Coriakin then says "to break the spell, follow the star to Ramandu's Island"
Cut out "the swords must be laid at the table..."
GO straight to Caspian's reaction shot.
This may be tricky because of the music!!
Coriakin "Beware you are all about to be tested"
CUT "until the 7th sword evil has the upper hand. it will do everything in its power" (what nonsense!! Evil never has the upper hand in Narnia - it simply has its allotted time until Aslan decides to move)
Resume with Coriakin looking at Lucy and saying "be strong"
No further cuts.
 
dangermouse said:
No, I mean cut out the hallway (because he mentions the mist, and because it's a boring scene!). Go from Eustace saying "silly me" to Edmund walking into the room.
Cut after Coriakin says "you must break it's spell" and resume just after he says "where I sent them" (when it zooms along the map) (i.e. cut out the crap about the swords and the lords)
Coriakin then says "to break the spell, follow the star to Ramandu's Island"
Cut out "the swords must be laid at the table..."
GO straight to Caspian's reaction shot.
This may be tricky because of the music!!
Coriakin "Beware you are all about to be tested"
CUT "until the 7th sword evil has the upper hand. it will do everything in its power" (what nonsense!! Evil never has the upper hand in Narnia - it simply has its allotted time until Aslan decides to move)
Resume with Coriakin looking at Lucy and saying "be strong"
No further cuts.
Click to expand...

Okay I see what you're saying, just wanted to make sure that in your previous comment you didn't leave out that bit, so again I'll go do this and then upload a test clip once it's done
 
Well here's the Coriakin test scene using dangermouse's idea, I believe I got most of the audio transitions to work but I'm not 100% positive on that. Anyways here's the clip, let me know what you guys think.


Password: fanedit.org
 
Wow, wow, wow! That's fantastic! Utterly seamless. Brilliant work.
The only criticism is that I think part of the corridor scene might be needed just to smooth over the transition from outside to inside. It's very abrupt at the moment. But the rest of the scene is perfect, and no hiccups in the music (I heard where you'd blended it when you cut to Caspian at the end, but I was listening for it).
 
dangermouse said:
Wow, wow, wow! That's fantastic! Utterly seamless. Brilliant work.
The only criticism is that I think part of the corridor scene might be needed just to smooth over the transition from outside to inside. It's very abrupt at the moment. But the rest of the scene is perfect, and no hiccups in the music (I heard where you'd blended it when you cut to Caspian at the end, but I was listening for it).
Click to expand...

Thanks for your kind comments :) , yeah I thought the beginning part needed some work because the transition just felt weird and as you said abrupt, so I'll work on that next.
 
This is really amazing and well done. Your editing skills have really brought dangermouse's suggestions to fruition in a great way!

I've always disliked Movie Eustace insisting that it was "a make-believe map of a make-believe world." It's one thing to make fun of his cousins for believing in a fake world when they're on earth, but after living among Narnians himself for several weeks, why would he still be calling it make-believe? Book Eustace thinks that everyone is crazy and that they're treating him terribly, but he doesn't say that (for instance) Reepicheep doesn't exist. Obviously he does. He can see him and talk to Reepicheep himself. Movie Eustace makes no sense.

Of course, if you remove the lines about "make-believe," then you'd probably have to remove the line about the map being beautiful, because the second line is meant to show that Eustace still has his defenses up a bit. It isn't time for his redemption yet. And all of that may be too difficult, and require too much cutting around the music. It's a relatively small moment, so I could see if you just wanted to leave it. But I wish Movie Eustace wouldn't say such ridiculous things.

Again, terrific job! :)
 
TomH1138 said:
This is really amazing and well done. Your editing skills have really brought dangermouse's suggestions to fruition in a great way!

I've always disliked Movie Eustace insisting that it was "a make-believe map of a make-believe world." It's one thing to make fun of his cousins for believing in a fake world when they're on earth, but after living among Narnians himself for several weeks, why would he still be calling it make-believe? Book Eustace thinks that everyone is crazy and that they're treating him terribly, but he doesn't say that (for instance) Reepicheep doesn't exist. Obviously he does. He can see him and talk to Reepicheep himself. Movie Eustace makes no sense.

Of course, if you remove the lines about "make-believe," then you'd probably have to remove the line about the map being beautiful, because the second line is meant to show that Eustace still has his defenses up a bit. It isn't time for his redemption yet. And all of that may be too difficult, and require too much cutting around the music. It's a relatively small moment, so I could see if you just wanted to leave it. But I wish Movie Eustace wouldn't say such ridiculous things.

Again, terrific job! :)
Click to expand...

Thanks :) and yeah I also think movie Eustace shouldn't say that but again the film needs to show him being a jerk until after becoming a dragon and plus as you already stated, it would be quite annoying to cut the music around that.
 
I agree dangermouse has given very good guidelines and you have done a very good cut for the scene on that!
 
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