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The Voyage of the Dawn Treader ~The Book Cut~

So I've now finished working on the deleted Eustace is delirious scene, as well as some color correcting and I've uploaded it for previewing, I would like to hear any feedback or suggestions anyone has regarding this scene or the color correcting. Also, sorry the quality isn't the best but I rendered this in a hurry, before going out.
 
Here's another update on the color correction, I think that overall when the color correction is done it will greatly improve the film overall. I still have to work on the scenes that have a lot of shadows in them, but for now here are these:
Dawn%20Treader%20colors_zpsvfddhu3o.jpg
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Seeing that it's been awhile since I posted to the thread, I've decided to post an update on how things are going regarding the editing. I've finished editing up to and through the Lone Islands and have began to do color correcting. Here's a semi-specific list of what has been cut/changed thus far:
-Added the deleted delirious Eustace scene
-Recolored the Lone Islands (colors are much more vibrant now, as opposed to the original which were flat)
-Cut the chase through the market, where Rhince attempts to save his wife.
-Cut 1st Lord giving the sword to Caspian, unfortunately this means that the 1st Lord doesn't get much screen time or a good conclusion either (I am open to suggestions on this)
-Cut dialogue from Eustace's narration regarding the "Green Mist" as well as the mystical sword Edmund receives.
-And finally I've edited out Gale (Rhince's daughter) from the scene where Eustace is dueling Reepicheep

Okay, so some things I have questions/want feedback for is, should I keep the deleted scene with Eustace in the film or remove it? I'm not sure if it exactly fits and I don't want to put it and mess up the flow of the film. The other question I have is, would it be a good idea to just remove the scene where Eustace is writing in his diary/narration on deck completely, as there's a lot of instances where dialogue has to be cut and ultimately even with adding sound fx it still stands out somewhat.

Anyways that's how far I've progressed with this edit, hopefully I'll get more done this week and again feedback is very welcome and appreciated.
 
The addition of the Eustace deleted scene works well. It flows smoothly.

All of the color corrections look good.

I like the list of cuts that you made, although I'm equally at a loss for what to do about the 1st Lord. Maybe once we see a clip of it, we'll know whether or not it feels right without the filmmakers' resolution.
 
TomH1138 said:
The addition of the Eustace deleted scene works well. It flows smoothly.

All of the color corrections look good.

I like the list of cuts that you made, although I'm equally at a loss for what to do about the 1st Lord. Maybe once we see a clip of it, we'll know whether or not it feels right without the filmmakers' resolution.
Click to expand...

Alright, well I'll try to post a clip or two later so people can see what I'm talking about and hopefully I can find a solution to this problem.
 
I think keep as much Eustace as possible. Dawn Treader is his story really. It's his journey with Aslan - from a dragon-heart (greedy, selfish), who needs to die to self (lion claws ripping his skin off), to be reborn as a new boy.
 
dangermouse said:
I think keep as much Eustace as possible. Dawn Treader is his story really. It's his journey with Aslan - from a dragon-heart (greedy, selfish), who needs to die to self (lion claws ripping his skin off), to be reborn as a new boy.
Click to expand...

Yeah, you're right it really is Eustace's story and it's a shame that they have to recast the actor who played him for the next film whenever that comes out, because the actor in Dawn Treader really portrayed Eustace very well, even if the film itself was as good.
 
Well I've tried uploading the two clips to Youtube and I've run into copyright problems again, so for now if anyone wants to view the clips and give feedback just PM for links. Perhaps I'll try to upload the videos again, but we'll see as I don't know if 20th century fox is still going to be hounding me.
 
Update: I figured out how to upload videos to Vimeo, so I've uploaded two clips; one focusing on the first lord and basically how long he's in this cut, while the second shows the Eustace scene I was talking about. Also I have to work on the color correction in the 2nd scene, because there is some major artifacting.



Password: fanedit.org
 
I like the screenshots in Post#22, a nice warm "magical" feel. Although in those two Vimeo clips the black shadows are tending towards blue/violet.

Clip 1: That's a very sudden cut at 00.57. It feels like the scene is just getting going emotionally and boom it cuts away.

Clip 2: The wind seems to stop rustling suddenly at 00.48. Other than that it sounds/looks great.

This sounds quite similar to the wind FX in that second clip
 
TM2YC said:
I like the screenshots in Post#22, a nice warm "magical" feel. Although in those two Vimeo clips the black shadows are tending towards blue/violet.

Clip 1: That's a very sudden cut at 00.57. It feels like the scene is just getting going emotionally and boom it cuts away.

Clip 2: The wind seems to stop rustling suddenly at 00.48. Other than that it sounds/looks great.

This sounds quite similar to the wind FX in that second clip
Click to expand...

In response to your first comment, the original scene actually cuts like that in the film except it cuts to Edmund looking out the window, but I do get what you're saying and I'll try to figure something out with that. And in terms of the 2nd clip, yeah I didn't notice the wind stopped, I will make sure to fix that. Also, the sound FX of the wind you linked does sound very similar to the one in the clip, can't remember if that's the one I used though, but I'll be sure and download it just in case. Oh and yeah I noticed that blue/violet thing going on with the shadows too in those clips and am trying to fix that to match the more "warm" feel of the rest of the film.
 
I've uploaded another clip, this time showing the new version of the first Lord giving Caspian the sword, this is also the new idea for a better resolution to the 1st Lord's presence in the film. The scene doesn't reference any of the other Lords or their swords as that subplot has been removed, so now the 1st Lord's sword is just something that the king (Caspian's father) gave to him as a token of their friendship and of the 1st Lord's loyalty. However, in the scene the line Caspian says about finding the "lost citizens" is still there, but in the context of how the scene plays out it's talking about the other lost lords. While I don't think that line works out the best, but for now I'll just leave it in. If anyone has any suggestions or wants to give feedback regarding this scene, please don't hesitate to add your input.
Password: fanedit.org
 
SoboFilms said:
Thanks, it is a shame though that I can't attempt to fix the aspect ratio, but I've already ran into the issue you talked about with some shots losing stuff. So, I'll definitely just stick to color correcting the film and maybe adding some Henry Gregson-Williams score to the film.
Click to expand...
You could try and work out which shots they fiddled with then make the others 2.40 (a lengthy process though), the only way to then get the other shots to fit would be to zoom out, so you are adding black where they cropped to make up from 16:9 to 2.40:1.
It's not the nicest of fixes I know, but you could then add the deleted scenes in no problems.
You could make the final output file 1920x818 then.
 
lotrjjw said:
You could try and work out which shots they fiddled with then make the others 2.40 (a lengthy process though), the only way to then get the other shots to fit would be to zoom out, so you are adding black where they cropped to make up from 16:9 to 2.40:1.
It's not the nicest of fixes I know, but you could then add the deleted scenes in no problems.
You could make the final output file 1920x818 then.
Click to expand...

While this is good suggestion I've already decided not to crop the film at all, it would be a lot of work with mixed results and plus there's a lot of scenes that when cropped usually leave stuff out, I can't actually remember any scenes in the film that really worked with cropping anyways. Maybe down the road after I've finished this edit I'll explore that option, but for now the film will remain in its DVD/Blu-Ray aspect ratio.
 
Sorry I'm late to getting back to this thread -- I've been a bit busy with other stuff. I think both the Lord Bern clips look pretty good (I would prefer his story to be more like the book, but no way to do that with the footage that's available), and the additional Eustace stuff works as well.
 
TomH1138 said:
Sorry I'm late to getting back to this thread -- I've been a bit busy with other stuff. I think both the Lord Bern clips look pretty good (I would prefer his story to be more like the book, but no way to do that with the footage that's available), and the additional Eustace stuff works as well.
Click to expand...

Yeah, I too would prefer to tell his story more like in the book but as you said it's not feasible. However, I am satisfied with the cut I made, because now he gets a more proper resolution and the sword bit is cut to a minimum.
 
Yeah, I agree. Get rid of as much of that sword nonsense as possible. :) This is probably the best way to handle it.
 
Here's a clip showing the Eustace duel, without Gale appearing after the battle, I have to play around with the color correcting a little bit more in this scene as there appears to be too much blue, but other than that it is done. Let me know what you guys think of the scene and perhaps give feedback, if you have any.


Password: fanedit.org
 
So, here's the latest update of where I'm at on my edit of Dawn Treader:
-I've gotten past the Lone Islands and the storm, however I'm still in need and working on finding a transition between the last scene (Eustace fighting Reepicheep) and the actual storm scene. If anyone has any ideas of what would work for that please let me know (also I'll upload a clip showing this soon).
-And the latest bit I'm editing now is the Dragon Island and a question I have is, do people think Eustace's whole dragon adventure (becoming a dragon and then returning to boy form) should be condensed to just this island or not? What I mean by this is that he'll become a dragon and then during the night he'll either fly away somewhere because he hears someone calling him or it will be like a dream sequence, except when he wakes up it will be real, which will happen before they go to the magician's island. This whole idea is me just trying to make it more like the book version, however if people don't think it'll work I am open to suggestions.

That's all the work I've done so far, I'm hoping to make a lot more headway once I finish with dragon sequence.
 
I think we need to experience Eustace being a dragon for a while - otherwise it's a bit of a non-event. In the book you're not sure if Eustace is going to remain a dragon forever or not!
You also need to see Eustace learning to be selfless (which he does as the dragon). Once he has learnt his lesson, that is when Aslan calls him and restores him. Only when he (Eustace) is ready and can understand that he needs Aslan to rescue him, however painful that may be.
 
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