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Man Of Steel: The Tempered Cut

DSM2337

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Hi all, long time listener, first time caller.

For my first fanedit I chose Man Of Steel. I've been friends of Q2 for a number of years and he has always impressed me with his edits, and the edits of others that he has pointed me towards, but it wasn't until MOS that I had the urge to jump into the fray. Long story short, I started it in November, had a solid cut in February, made some minor tweeks on Q2's advice, and now have a finished cut I'm happy with.

I'm now in the process of making it available, and submitting it for review.

My intention for the edit is to make it chronological, remove most of the Krypton complications (the rebellion, the genesis chambers, the first natural birth), and tidy up/remove any other scenes that I found wanting or superfluous. A more detailed cut list is in the spoilers.

  • The politicking and destruction of Krypton has been pretty much removed. As much as I liked the science fiction/fantasy elements it showed, it was not needed, everything in it is described by Jor-El later. The film starts with the birth of Kal-El, his parents putting him into his ship, Krypton exploding and the journey to Earth, all to music from the MOS soundtrack (Flight).
  • Clark's story on earth is chronological but as a kid I've only included the classroom scene and the bus crash (and subsequent talks with Pa Kent). Pa Kent's 'maybe' is gone. The garage bully scene is gone, it was a nice scene but I wanted to keep the transition from Pa Kent telling Clark to find out his origins to...
  • ...Clark as an adult in the truck stop hearing about an anomaly. The oil rig scene is gone. Again, as nice as it was, it served no specific purpose.
  • Jor-El's chat with Clark is cut slightly. All references to Kryptonians being genetically birthed are removed, as is any reference to Clark being the 'first natural birth'. Also some of the more ernest nuggets from Jor-El are trimmed.
  • The most pointless death in cinema is removed, now Clark finds Lois at his father's grave and talks her into dropping the story, no flashback. Pa Kent died, the how is irrelevant.
  • Visit to the church is cut. The Christ metaphor has been minimised as much as possible.
  • After his chat with Zod in the dreamscape he awakes alone strapped to the table, further chat with Zod about his father is removed.
  • Fight in Smallville has some minor tweaks, the first bullet strafe no longer has Superman jumping out of the way into a building, Faora-UI and Colonel Hardy no longer flirt.
  • Indian Ocean World Engine scene is now in two parts, rather than many.
  • The struggles of Jenny trapped in concrete is removed completely.
  • Zod now goes in search of Kal-El rather than for the genesis chamber. All the scenes from this point involving the scout ship (like Zod and Jor-Els chat) have been removed.
  • Once again, Faora-UI and Colonel Hardy don't flirt with each other before Hardy sends them into a dive.
  • Lois falls from the aircraft and is caught by Superman returning from Indian Ocean (no scout ship, so no Zod trying to shoot them down).
  • Kissing scene is dialogue free and more of a stolen moment than an awkward 'will you be my girlfriend' thing.
  • Zod and Superman fight is cut down in places.
  • Zod's eternal laser beams that can't seem to aim where he's looking have been cut drastically, he's dead as they start warming up.
  • Lois's benediction of Superman is removed.
  • The Tempered Cut added to the Man Of Steel title page.
  • Fanedit by DSM2337 added to Editor's credit page.
  • Drone scene moved to be a mid-credit scene

Running time has dropped from 143 minutes to 107 minutes.

I hope you enjoy it when it gets approved.

Cheers

Dave
 

Masirimso17

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Looks very promising, and I'm very happy that you removed the whole angle of "Genetic Birth, first natural birth in centuries, being born with a purpose from the government etc." It was so terrible and plot-holey that I'm glad you removed it. The jerkness of Pa Kent is gone as well, which is nice. It's a shame, really, that you can't do anything about Zod's plot-holey terraform plan, as he could have gone and terraformed any other planet in existence, but at the bright side, he is a psychopath murderer in this cut as it seems, because when you remove the purpose birth angle, he automatically becomes a murderer, which is nice. I'm looking forward to seeing this fanedit.
 

Masirimso17

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wilhelm scream said:
this could be the best Man of Steel edit ever!
I agree, it looks very promising.
 

DominicCobb

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Sounds like a perfect fanfix for the film.
 

DSM2337

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Thanks for the positive comments, I hope you're not disappointed.

Here is my attempt at a BluRay cover, I'm more comfortable with the editing :).

MOS_Tempered_Blu_Ray_forum.jpg
 

Kal-El

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Definitely agree with the removal of the genetic birth, Jonathan's death and Jenny in the concrete rubble. I'd remove that as well. I can understand the priest being removed, but I thought it was a nice nod to For Tomorrow, the comic book storyline :)

I agree as well that the Superman/Lois romantic relationship got off the ground (haha!) far too quickly. It should have been kept for the sequel.

Also, by 'genesis chamber' I assume you mean the Codex? :) Wouldn't that fit in with the genetic birthing? I suppose that's something you've removed completely, since you said 'removed most of the Krypton complications'? With genetic birthing and predestined destinies the Codex becomes redundant as well :)
 

Masirimso17

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Agreed. In my opinion it is best to completely remove the complicated stuff
 

DSM2337

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Kal-El said:
Also, by 'genesis chamber' I assume you mean the Codex? :) Wouldn't that fit in with the genetic birthing? I suppose that's something you've removed completely, since you said 'removed most of the Krypton complications'? With genetic birthing and predestined destinies the Codex becomes redundant as well :)
The narrative I've aimed for is based on the secret to Krypton being reborn (the codex) being in Kal-El, so it becomes a plot point that Zod requires him, dead or alive. The specifics how the codex will work is not explicitly mentioned because the genesis chamber parts have been removed.

So in short, Jor-El saved the codex, Zod wants it, they find it in Kal-El's genetic code, Zod wants Kal-El.
 

ssj

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hey, dsm, looking forward to a more enjoyable version of man of steel. shorter and simpler is definitely better with this mubi, so it appears you're on the right track. :)

re: your cover, I won't comment much on the graphical elements, but on the blurbage.

• your fanediting handle is on the cover, but it draws little attention to itself. almost looks like a product code for the blu-ray. Perhaps a byline under "the tempered cut"?

• a mention of the runtime isn't necessary, but it's helpful.

• there's a comma fault or run-on sentence (hard to tell from the resolution) in the back cover's first paragraph: "traditional, a refugee...."

suggestion that sidesteps the run-on:

This FANEDIT of the original movie keeps the narrative more traditional: a refugee from another planet discovers the truth behind his ancestry and must use his powers to defend his adoptive home against those who would destroy it. This cut contains less of the father figure that dominated the theatrical film.

[although given the brevity or the blurb, you might want to mention other noteworthy features of the edit other than the daddy issue. two dads and multiple issues, really, but I digress.]

• there's a misplaced modifier ("the ultimate American alien" apparently modifying "land") in the second paragraph, but that's not a biggie.
 

Masirimso17

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DSM2337 said:
The narrative I've aimed for is based on the secret to Krypton being reborn (the codex) being in Kal-El, so it becomes a plot point that Zod requires him, dead or alive. The specifics how the codex will work is not explicitly mentioned because the genesis chamber parts have been removed.

So in short, Jor-El saved the codex, Zod wants it, they find it in Kal-El's genetic code, Zod wants Kal-El.

Ahh, I see. Now it makes more sense, and it's far simpler from the original. However there's still the problem of Zod choosing the planet to terraform that guarantees that he fails. At the end his speech makes no sense for this reason. However you could make the argument that he chooses Earth because he is a murderous psychopath but that's far fetched. I don't think there is a way to fix this problem as this is an unfixable problem from the original movie, so I give it a pass.
 

Q2

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Edit approved. Congratulations!
 

DSM2337

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ssj said:
hey, dsm, looking forward to a more enjoyable version of man of steel. shorter and simpler is definitely better with this mubi, so it appears you're on the right track. :)
Thanks ssj.
ssj said:
• your fanediting handle is on the cover, but it draws little attention to itself. almost looks like a product code for the blu-ray. Perhaps a byline under "the tempered cut"?
I like simple and am not one to shout my handle from the rooftops, so that is exactly what I was aiming for. Hoping The Tempered Cut will stand on its own to differentiate from other versions.
ssj said:
• a mention of the runtime isn't necessary, but it's helpful.
Good idea.
ssj said:
• there's a comma fault or run-on sentence (hard to tell from the resolution) in the back cover's first paragraph: "traditional, a refugee...."
As you said after, it could do with a bit of a rewrite.
ssj said:
suggestion that sidesteps the run-on:

This FANEDIT of the original movie keeps the narrative more traditional: a refugee from another planet discovers the truth behind his ancestry and must use his powers to defend his adoptive home against those who would destroy it. This cut contains less of the father figure that dominated the theatrical film.

[although given the brevity or the blurb, you might want to mention other noteworthy features of the edit other than the daddy issue. two dads and multiple issues, really, but I digress.]

• there's a misplaced modifier ("the ultimate American alien" apparently modifying "land") in the second paragraph, but that's not a biggie.
Thanks for your suggestions. I'll take them into account before I go live with it.
 

DSM2337

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Masirimso17 said:
However there's still the problem of Zod choosing the planet to terraform that guarantees that he fails...I don't think there is a way to fix this problem as this is an unfixable problem from the original movie, so I give it a pass.
True, his decision making in this regard is problematic to say the least, but if he hadn't chosen Earth then it would be a much shorter film.:)
In my opinion, he needed the Codex, the codex was on Earth, the local wildlife don't matter, so why find another planet.
 

Masirimso17

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DSM2337 said:
True, his decision making in this regard is problematic to say the least, but if he hadn't chosen Earth then it would be a much shorter film.:)
In my opinion, he needed the Codex, the codex was on Earth, the local wildlife don't matter, so why find another planet.

Haha. Very true. By the way congratulations on the approval, I'll leave a review once it's up on the IFDB.
 

ssj

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congrats on the approval, dsm!

looking forward to watching my first MoS fanedit.
 

DSM2337

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The colour grading work in this is amazing. I didn't play with colours on my edit (being my first one, I didn't want to over complicate my goals), but after seeing this I'm wondering if I missed a trick.
 

Masirimso17

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Even though I agree that the colors should not have been desaturated from the 2013 film but the version in the video, while still a whole lot better, looks a bit too fake. I would have preferred a more natural saturation.
 

TM2YC

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^^ They made it way worse IMO. They seem to have made a few misunderstandings. You can't "Restore" natural colours to CGI footage like this. You can only try to make it look natural. Also TDK looks bleak because it was conceived that way, from the costumes, the lighting and the set design, which is why it looks amazing, those are the natural colours for that film.

Most of the problem with MOS's look is down to the excess of blue and all they've done is boost that to insane levels, instead of reversing it. I want to see Supes costume in strident Red and Blue but I don't want Zod in blue, or everybody to have a fake tan. I've played around with recolouring a few shots from MOS myself and it's very difficult, as the digital-colourists clearly went mental on it. So I'm not surprised these guys struggled.
 
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