A few reviews

[Vultural]

Burning Paradise - 1994 - 7/10

Ringo Lam kung fu actioner, strong in political overtones.
After the Shaolin temple is crushed, priests and disciples are imprisoned underground in the Red Lotus Temple. Place is studded with traps, fire pits, torturers, and lording over all is an insane degenerate.
Nudity and graphic violence, particularly to animals. So beware.
This was one of the Lam’s finest, and one of the bleakest films from Hong Kong. The colony was to be returned to China in 1999, and there was widespread fear their fate would rival the Shaolin.

 

[Vultural]

The Tall Man - 2012 - 5/10

Another riff on the urban legend. Many Horror buffs kicked this one because it defied conventions. Because it was a Thriller, not Horror.
This started off well, was creepy, and the plot knotted and twisted every ten minutes.
Absolutely no idea who the Tall Man was, or why he was abducting children.
Near the end, the tension dissipated as the narrative unwound in a most unsatisfying manner.
There might have been a 7 movie in there. Too bad.

 

[Vultural]

Perversion Story - 1969 - 5/10

Also known as One On Top Of The Other.
With either title, I had such expectations.
Late 60s, glossy Italian trash about philandering doctor and swinging babes.
All set in groovy San Francisco.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzz . . .
Oops, did I fall asleep?
Boring soap opera, too much talk, one artsy lovemaking scene, zero counter-culture (huh!), plot more tangled than Cher's hair in a wind tunnel.
Not nearly the fun I was expecting.

 

[Vultural]

Faster, Pussycat! Kill, Kill! - 1965 - 7/10

Russ Meyer’s most acclaimed film.
High octane cars n broads dominate a series of stunted or emasculated males.
Plot involves three go-go dancers seizing a teen girl for ransom, then deciding to bump off a lecherous, wheelchair bound coot for his purported stash of long green.
Fantastic fun, and way ahead of its time.
Tura Satana unforgettable as Varla.

Meeting Ebert -

Reveal message

I actually met Roger Ebert years ago, crossing the Atlantic. From the audio commentary on the FPKK laserdisc, I gathered Meyer thought he had a Pussycat sequel he called The Jaws Of Lorna.
When I saw Ebert alone, I strolled up.

. . . Then there was poor, seasick Roger Ebert. I cornered him in a bar and walked up. Doubtless, he braced himself for a round of questions about Citizen Kane, which he had lectured on earlier that day. Or he wondered if I would ask why Gene Siskel had been acting so peculiar.
None of the above.
"Say, on the audio commentary of Faster, Pussycat! Kill, Kill!, Russ Meyer said you and he were developing a new script."
Ebert's expression shifted to one of utter horror. "I ... I don't know anything about that crazy old man," he stammered.
His bride swiveled on a bar stool behind him. "Someone talking about Mr. Meyer, honey?" she grinned. "Your livin' large, runnin' wild days?"
Ebert, the influential critic, trapped in a bar, on a boat, between a merciless spouse and a trash aficionado.
"Have you ever seen Valley Dolls?" She gave me a wink.
"Beyond The Valley Of The Dolls," Ebert muttered. She winked again.
"Actually," I hesitated, "I own it ... on VHS ... and Laserdisc."
"A connoisseur!" she clapped her hands and laughed aloud.
"I gotta lie down," Ebert excused himself.
So staggered off my golden opportunity to discuss Russ Meyer, King of the Girlie Flicks . . .

 

[Vultural]

The Mystery Of Edwin Drood - 2012 - 6/10

Yet another adaptation of Dickens' final, unfinished work.
Production values were top notch. I wondered about some of the characterizations. Rosa and Helena, for example.
The ending was plausible, better than others I have seen.
Good rainy night film.

 

[Vultural]

The Page Turner - 2006 - 7/10

Déborah François in a poisonous turn.
During her tryout recital to get admitted into a prestigious academy, a young girl’s dreams are destroyed by one of the judges.
The judge was a famous performer in her own right. Only she was bored, indifferent, and keeps answering her cellphone.  Even signed an autograph.
Ten years later.
The high strung pianist doesn’t recognize, let alone remember, the pretty blonde who becomes her page turner, confidant, trusted companion.
The young girl remembers the older woman, however. All too well.
Ice cold film of patience, leading to the twist of the knife.
Women seldom forgive, they never forget.

 

[Vultural]

Killer-K - 2011 - 7/10
AKA: Little Girl K

Echoes of grindhouse. High voltage Korean actioner.
Young girl is in the wrong place, wrong time with friends, and all are slain.
Except her. She’s given the “join us or die” offer.
Next she is trained as a corporate assassin.
Story plays out over three episodes, each more violent than the last.
This aired late night in Korea, and had nudity and rivers of blood.
Episode three has the highest bullets - body count, but to my thinking, highlight was episode two.
She had discovered who had killed her friends and exacted revenge.
No firearms for that one. Her favored weapons were long knives.
Blood drenched action with machetes, knives, swords.

 

[Gaith]

The Page Turner - 2006 - 7/10

Yowza, her again. (Yes, I've seen parts of Mes chères études. It's really hot and erotic... if you're a sociopath! :drum

 

[Vultural]

Ooh, thanks for mentioning Mes Cheres Etudes (Student Services).  I'm chasing that down.
Funny, I had just watched Populaire, which featured Déborah François in a sweeter role.
She was a competitor in the international speed typing tournament, circa 1959.
Breezy comedy, great period cars, costumes and music.  And typewriters!  I own two, but they are dust collectors.
Didn't strike me as something that would intrigue FE.  Ms François is easy on the eyes, though.

 

[Vultural]

Cleanskin - 2012 - 6/10

Sean Bean portrays hardened government op. Charlotte Rampling his boss.
Assigned to track down some home grown terrorists (cleanskins) who are doing suicide bombings in London.
Other narrative tracks the recruitment and enlistment of an angry young man into a terror cell.
Violent fare with a few twists, stalemates. Drags a bit and stalled into moral ambivalence.
Pick a side.

 

[Vultural]

The Reluctant Fundamentalist - 2012 - 6/10

Yer riding high in April, shot down in May.
Financial whiz, Changez, fresh outta college, nabs a highly lucrative job in a Wall Street capitalization firm. He is mentored by Keef Sutherland, and starts banging the boss's niece. He is on the jet express to the corner suite.
After 9/11, everything changes. As a Pakistani, he is perceived as another terrorist.
Great character study of pawn in no-win situation, who successfully reinvents himself, and attracts the beady eye of government ops.
Great acting all around, with gray area plot (as in, you find your sympathies shifting around).

 

[Vultural]

Kidnapped - 2010 - 2/10

Reprehensible cinema from Spain.
Three hooded thugs invade the home of a Madrid family.
Expect beatings, rapes, torture, killings, gore.
I would have scored this far, far lower, save for the lively hutong discussion that followed.
Everyone recognized mistake after mistake made by the victims.
An invasion is not a burglary or stickup. Audience members kept barking to the invaded, especially the father, "Do this! Do that!"
Most unpleasant film. Consider yourself warned.

 

[Vultural]

Jenifer - 2005 - 4/10

Erotic horror twaddle from Dario Argento.
Argento’s prime years were decades earlier, so I kick myself for loading this gobbler.
Cop rescues a damsel about to be chopped with a meat cleaver.
She has a disfigured face, though her ripe body curves compensate.
Cop shelters her and discovers she has an appetite for slaughtering others and feasting on hot entrails.
Also that she likes cowgirl riding him senseless till his love gun is empty. Then mounting for more.
Sensitive souls might be shocked by some of the killings. Seasoned types, this was a yawn.

 

[Vultural]

Giant Mechanical Man - 2012 - 7/10

Nice date flick, though some suspension of disbelief required for this indie film.
Two 30 something career failures meet and begin the like-to-get-to-know-you refrain.
She’s a temp, he’s a street performer. The city looked empty and lifeless. Turned out to be Detroit.
As with any romantic comedy (very light on the comedy), enjoyment might pivot on the viewer’s relationship situation. Lonely souls or those suffering fresh collapses might want to shun.
Cast of mostly unknowns, pushed by appealing leads.

 

[Vultural]

Crypt Of The Living Dead - 1974 - 3/10

Spanish production with American leads filmed in Turkey.
Young archaeologist tracks down 700 year old crypt of Hannah, vampire queen.
Betcha didn’t know Hannah was a popular name in 1200.
My box said colour film, credits said Metrocolour, it was still black and white.
Rather good looking Gothic set design and excellent shadows. OK effect of Hannah swirling into mist when she transforms into a wolf (who moves a helluva lot quicker than she does).
Predictable territory, characters were dreadful bores, pace was glacial.
Could have used more violence and sex. Vampyres, also from Spain, came out around this time oozing plenty of bodily fluids.

 

[Vultural]

25th Reich - 2012 - 3/10

First was the Third Reich, followed inevitably by the 25th Reich.
Yep, everyones favorite villains, Nazis.
During WWII, a squad of US G.I.s in Australia (?!?) are hunting for two escaped pumas. First hour is all walk n talk. Endless trudging montages, followed by 5-10 minutes of exposition to advance the plot. Yawn.
Last 20 minutes, the film roars into overdrive. Nazis, space ships, gunfights, time travel, spider tanks, disturbing sex between metal and flesh, cliffhanger.
Bad CGI. Miniscule production budget.
You already know your weakness for crap like this.

 

[Vultural]

Iron Sky - 2012 - 6/10

More Nazis! This time on the Moon!
A battalion of the Third Reich fled WWII aftermath and hid out on the dark side of the Moon.
Sixty years later, their base is discovered and they launch blitzkrieg.
Funny satire with great looking old school contraptions.
Political / military humor was dead on, Sarah Palin lookalike as gun totin’ US President! What’s not to like?
Other elements felt forced. Example: the racial purity storyline.
Still quite funny with unexpectedly nice SciFi action sequences.

 

[ThrowgnCpr]

Iron Sky - 2012 - 6/10

More Nazis! This time on the Moon!
A battalion of the Third Reich fled WWII aftermath and hid out on the dark side of the Moon.
Sixty years later, their base is discovered and they launch blitzkrieg.
Funny satire with great looking old school contraptions.
Political / military humor was dead on, Sarah Palin lookalike as gun totin’ US President! What’s not to like?
Other elements felt forced. Example: the racial purity storyline.
Still quite funny with unexpectedly nice SciFi action sequences.

lol, this one is in my "to watch soon" queue. looks completely ridiculous.

 

[Vultural]

The is now a Director's Cut of Iron Sky, available via Netflix in Scandinavia.
And as BluRay.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=TbSFSjQ3omY

 

[TV's Frink]

I tried watching Iron Sky, but I got bored and stopped after about 30 minutes.