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A few reviews

Vultural

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The English Teacher - 2013 - 6/10

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Former star pupil returns to the small town, after flaming out as Broadway's next big playwright.
His family doesn't understand him, but his old English teacher does! Even better, she helps get his drama produced for the annual school play.
Julianne Moore plays the mid-forties, unmarried high school English teacher. This is very much her story as she steps out of her comfort zone.
Plot dragged a bit past the midway point, but gracefully avoided the predictable.
Nathan Lane as drama teacher would seem a cliché, but he radiates fun and energy.
 

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Johnny Stool Pigeon - 1949 - 5/10

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Vintage cars, big fedoras, and black n white film stock do not a Noir make.
Generic tale of Feds trying to take down a narcotics racket.
Helmed by Dan Duryea, rather subdued in this one, and Howard Duff, sharp as a bar of soap.
One the plus side, this predicts the later Nafta trade era, with locations in Canada, the States and Mexico.
Also, a great deal of this is set at a Tucson dude ranch, rather than rain soaked alleys.
Tony Curtis memorable as mute torpedo.
 

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Kraftidioten - 2014 - 7/10
AKA: In Order Of Disappearance

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Ice cold romp of revenge - revenge - more revenge, set in deep freeze Norway.
After the snow plow operator’s son is mistakenly killed, he sets out to kill those responsible.
One by one.
Foes include a pony tailed vegan and a gang of Serbs.
Film laced with the blackest humor, bleak and bitter.
Deserves a wide audience, though lack of teenage heroes or perfumed cleavage will dissuade the 10 watt bulbs.
 

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Vultural said:
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Godzilla Vs Cthulhu - 2041 - 7/10

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Cranky lizard with paint peeling breath confronts the tentacled god of R’yleh.
Somnambulant buildup of greedy developers trying to seize a small, impoverished seaside monastery.
(Ever notice developers are always greedy, always bullying poor folks?)
Valiantly, the Sisters Of Graceful Tides hold a music concert to raise funds.
Shonen Knife, screeching a cover version of Blue Öyster Cult’s “Godzilla,” icurs the wrath of Godzilla who always hated the chorus. Squawking and flaming, he crashes ashore.
Then, as terrified screams and howls somehow fuse into "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn," you guessed it, dread Cthulhu heaves from the waves.
At this point, the Japanese fondness for hentai results in truly horrifying erotic grappling, which will not be elaborated upon further.
The pace hits overdrive and action roars nonstop. Yakuza hitmen arrive, as well as vegan mercenaries on Vespa scooters, nude nuns with knives, parachuting Russian bodybuilders, a squad of horny female lifeguards, and an annoying old alcoholic woman in a squeaking wheelchair.
Red hot flames - roasted brains - blood oath claims - gangbang chains - putrid stains
In other words - absolute must see classic!

I also loved this movie. The coolest part was when King Ghirodah unexpectedly comes to Godzilla's rescue when the cultists summon Yog Sothoth-- only complaint was too many monsters tho, felt congested, like the Batman vs Superman and Wonder Woman and maybe Flash movie by the 300 guy. Still, they're making a sequel with Azathoth I think.

Vultural said:
Kraftidioten - 2014 - 7/10
AKA: In Order Of Disappearance

35celav.jpg


Ice cold romp of revenge - revenge - more revenge, set in deep freeze Norway.
After the snow plow operator’s son is mistakenly killed, he sets out to kill those responsible.
One by one.
Foes include a pony tailed vegan and a gang of Serbs.
Film laced with the blackest humor, bleak and bitter.
Deserves a wide audience, though lack of teenage heroes or perfumed cleavage will dissuade the 10 watt bulbs.

This looks awesome. Crazy Norwegian movies are great (Headhunters comes to mind)
 

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Review of some movies out in cinemas now-- most good, one Great (but not the one you're thinking of).

1. Interstellar -- whole other thread dedicated to this. Impeccable visuals and great music. I didn't buy as much as others into the "love conquers all" theme, transcending space, time and reason. Matthew mccougnahey was great in it, as well as child Murph, and the father daughter relationship was very believable, to the point you feel for the characters. Good movie overall, worth the watch on the big screen.
Score 3/5

2. Fury-- if Sam Peckinpah were alive today, this would be his follow up to cross of iron. Hard hitting, violent, bitter, no nonsense nonPC war movie. Not for everyone. Brad Pitt is tank commander Wardaddy ( Aldo Raine is a light hearted caricature of this guy) all American Nazi killer, commanding, brutal and a d**k most of the time. Shia lebouf in his first actual movie as bible quoting southern tank gunner, actually did a good job. Tank battles were awesome. Some sequences could have been removed and more character development would have helped make you care more about the characters, but I personally love these kinds of movies. Recommended if you're a fan of wild bunch, Alfredo Garcia, pat garrett, straw dogs and cross of iron.
Score 3.5/5

3. Nightcrawler-- jake Gyllenhaal has been turning in steadily better performances (end of watch, prisoners, enemy).. and this is his best performance. period. It's Christian bale in machinist, d day Lewis in my left foot, de niro in taxi driver. Unrecognizable as the unemployed outcast turned freelance crime videographer, Gyllenhaal is absolutely creepy and often scary as the sociopathic ?protagonist who does pretty much Anything for the perfect shot of death and mayhem. Dark and disturbing character study which juxtaposes serene and ethreal music with grisly happenings. beautiful night cinematography and intense action scenes. Very satisfying crime thriller set in LA after sundown. Score 4/5

4. Birdman (or, the unexpected virtue of ignorance)-- so I actually bought discounted tickets for this to kill some time because my buddy had to some work in the area and I had a couple of hours to spare. this movie blew me away. It is a genius piece of work. From 21 grams/ amores perros director alejandro inarritu, who outdoes himself here. Michael keaton plays Michael keaton. Ex Batman actor is trying to rehearse for a new play (while his thoughts are interrupted by menacing Christian Bale batman voice taunting him)-- lines like (paraphrasing) "you were the real f'ing deal, gdmn batman, not some ass* in a tin suit like Downey". Ed Norton plays a dickish movie star who just "quit or was fired from" a big movie (wonder which one) and joins the play, making it toxic immediately by butting heads hard with keaton. Emma stone as his daughter is actually excellent (can't believe I just typed that), as is zach galifinakis. As the premiere looms, self doubt and performance anxiety causes keaton to spiral out of control and into magical realism. Without spoiling anything else, very reminiscent of meta movies like 8-1/2, and personally, this movie is better than fellini's (tho paying homage to it). Incredibly funny and very tragic, this movie is so layered and filled with subtle imagery, it demands to be watched again. Very well written. The directing is brilliant--the entire movie is filmed in ONE shot -- not with the tedium or gimmickiness that is found in other movies that tried it like Hitchcocks rope or Russian ark (both of those movies did it first, but not very well), but every "scene" looks and feels like it took months to plan. I love good directing, and I have literally never seen a movie do a seamless one take like this so well, it's perfect, it's technical and cinematographic mastery at its finest --it's like inaritu was trying to outdo peer alfonso cuarons one shot gravity takes and decided go a step further. Blurs the line between indie and commercial studio films (tho this is definitely not an indie). Just a really really fun movie to watch, and the way it was filmed, unlike anything I've seen before. I highly recommend it if you like a great and very funny drama.

Score Perfect 5/5 (I didn't expect to like this movie at all to be honest... this movie is going to be in textbooks; for the record the last "modern" movie which is most prominently featured in the scattering of textbooks I've read was Memento for its novel manipulation of editing. The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance is going in the same section for revolutionizing what is to me the most impressive technical feat of cinematography: the unbroken take)
 

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0:34-- Well I'm glad I'm not alone.. My pick for best movie of the year.





Definitely outdoes Fellini's 8-1/2, and is also a movie which literally can't be fanedited. My only problem is that, like Barney Gumble's Pukahontas, its unfortunately titled.
 

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Literally, it can be fanedited.
 

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Le battement d'ailes du papillon - 2000 - 5/10
AKA: The Beating Of Butterfly Wings
AKA: Happenstance

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French fluff about the so-called butterfly effect. Myriad of soul connect, intersect, disconnect.
Well worn myth of how a chance act or word can impact others.
Yes, we think our words or deeds are so important.
This film flits from one loser to another, eventually going nowhere.

I didn’t buy the reactions and interactions, though everyone with me were female, and they did.
In fact, there was a protracted discussion afterward.
For me, Life is random, our choices limited at best.
Everyone else, held that there is FATE and we have choices.
If you are in the latter category, you will rate this higher.
Unforgettable scene involving a cockroach.
 

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Mansome - 2012 - 5/10

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Sheesh, another Morgan Spurlock documentary.
Male grooming - appearance - how men behold themselves - females point of view.
Shallow work here, that skittered from one topic to another, and lingered too long on dull parts.
Beards, mustaches, haircuts, toupees, all discussed for no apparent point.
Men have always grown or worn those - who cares?
Section of the product “Fresh Balls” was funny as anything.
Also the older male comments that the current fad for body shaving is turning men into Barbie dolls.
Film should have followed that path.
Instead this is a time waster with no focus.
Spurlock strikes me as more agreeable than Michael Moore, probably better to have a drink with.
His output, however, causes me to think he has nothing to say.
 

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Hanzawa Naoki - 2013 - 8/10

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Who’d have thought corporate banking shenanigans could be so entertaining?
Hanzawa and his loan section are nudged by higher ups to approve a shady loan totaling millions.
Before you can say something smells fishy, the account goes bankrupt, and execs throw all blame on Hanzawa.
One thing they don’t reckon with is his tenacity, his skills in following the money, and the dark vengeance that drives him.
Traps launch out of nowhere and enemies hateful and cunning circle like jackals.
Foes learn - screw with Hanzawa, and it’s double payback!
No killings - no shootings - no nudity. Ratings smash across Asia.
Highly addicting.
 

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Adventureland (2009)

I suspect if I were in my early 20's instead of early 40's I would have enjoyed this more. It wasn't bad by any stretch, it just felt a bit by-the-numbers. Eisenberg and Stewart were well cast, both feel like real people rather than actors. But I didn't buy Ryan Reynolds one bit, especially that he would be involved with Stewart the way he was. Hader and Wiig had the best parts of the movie.

5.5 Games Games Games out of 8 Rides Rides Rides.
 

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I was in my mid-20s when I first saw it and I loved it. So that backs that theory up.
 

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Review: RedletterMedia's Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull

I somehow ended up watching this after some random Youtubing, and it is the best breakdown of Indy 4 I have ever seen, drawing on everything from Robocop to The Day the Earth Stood Still. I think he sums the movie up and all it represents at 1:00:09. This documentary (because it is) highlights what went wrong in a movie which should have been good. (In so many words, George Lucas-- the best scenes are where Spielberg keeps saying "It was all George's idea"). But of course, that's just one factor.

My favorite moments--38:06; 42:06 ; 53:30

I enjoy fanediting because at its core, its fun to extract or extricate what you know is a decent movie from a pile of rubble. Its also fun to put a new spin on things you know are already good. There has to be a decent movie in there. Indiana Jones 4 does not have anything at its core, nothing. Like RedLetterMedia points out via his character Mr Plinkett, this film is neutered drivel which misses the point of the original trilogy: Jones was cool because he was the dude you WANTED to be-- rough, tough, good looking, brilliant, women fell for him and he'll murder you if you f*** with him (as in murder, not kill-- pulverize you in a rock crusher, run you over with a truck, throw you on tank tracks, choke you with a whip). The movies were awesome because you could see yourself as that guy. No one wants to be old and struggling to move. They want to be in the action. The movie lost its appeal completely to me. Even my 12 year old cousin who watched these films loved the first three, hated the fourth-- so who are they making this for again? Kids?

I've seen the original once when it came out, then never again, but watching this review made me quite sad as to how hard Hollywood has fallen. All three IJ movies would today be an almost guaranteed 'R' rating-- I even think its ridiculous Temple of Doom got a PG rating (or PG13 today) for its content.
So, a great docu-review which serves as a great critique on how Hollywood franchises are destroyed. Indy 4 is a terrible terrible movie which I loathe (Score 0/5), but Redletter's review has me curious to check out some of the fanedits on here (they're 5 I think, one of which [MENTION=8530]Q2[/MENTION] even overdubbed the terrible 'Part time' line) to see if it was salvageable.

Score: 3/5
 

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Review: XTRO (UK, 1983)
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This film is classic alien-exploitation horror much in the same vein of Lifeforce or The Borrower, only it is genuinely creepy and scary at times with great use of lighting, mood, gore and nightmarish imagery-- in fact there's one scene here which is one I'll never forget how repulsive it was. The story is pretty damn good for this kind of fare-- the dad from a happy nuclear family is abducted by aliens, and returns to earth a few years later because he wants his son to follow him back to the alien planet. He attempts to reintegrate with his family in order to coax his son to follow him, in the process infecting the kid with alien abilities. It was a lot better than I thought it would be, and worth checking out for fans of old school alien horror, and it does what it does with its budget very well indeed.
A pretty obscure film but available in its full form in many video sites-- not sure if its public domain?

Score:3/5
 

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The Brass Teapot (2012)

Surprisingly fun movie about a teapot that dispenses cash in exchange for pain. Apparently reviews are pretty poor (26% rating on RT per Wiki) but I enjoyed it, even if it was a bit formulaic and predictable. Fun/random supporting roles by Rory from Gilmore Girls, Maeby from Arrested Development, Mike Yanagita from Fargo, and a guy who I swore was Seth Meyers but apparently wasn't. But the most surprising bit of casting was the male lead, Michael Angarano, who it turns out was one of the finalists for little Anakin Skywalker. Just more proof that George made the wrong call. *sigh*

Six Hasidic Jews out of eight.
 

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What do you mean? That's my rating of the movie.
 

Vultural

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Using Hasidic Jews as your ratings scoring sounds inappropriate.
Though the movie had a magical Jewish teapot, your review no where indicated that.
Even then, I think it's wrong.
What's next? Six Sunni Muslims out of ten? Four black Ferguson demonstrators out of ten?
It's not remotely funny, Frink. It's inappropriate, and it's wrong.
There are other forums for that.
I don't mean to sound offensive, but I am offended.
And disappointed.
 

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Have you seen the movie?
 
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