- Messages
- 4,768
- Reaction score
- 2,610
- Trophy Points
- 148
Brief Synopsis:
Second Scribbling Cut revisits a previously light edit of mine and indulges in significantly heavier trims for pacing, as well as to songs and humour. The Taxidermist scene has been re-scored to aid the new tone and there is a slight shift to the order of some scenes. The result is the removal of an additional 30 minutes (39 minutes in total), without sacrificing any of the core narrative. Optional audio is included for a crisper recording of the opening and closing themes, as well as the iconic Albert Hall sequence.
Detailed cut-list:
Note that these are all made on top of a lossless copy of my original cut, so there are even more cuts than listed here.
- 0:13 - updated TSM branding
- 2:44 - Cut opening shot of bus interior. Trimmed bus exterior shot
- 3:13 - Trimmed looking at camel and Jo' reaction
- 3:34 - trimmed reaction to drink joke (Jo’s laugh is off-screen to allow for cutting Ben’s "it sure does)
- 3:36 - Trimmed Hank looking out of window
- 3:38 - Trimmed Hank walking down bus
- 3:54 - Trimmed anger over veil incident
- 4:35 - Trimmed Jo’s reaction
- 6:48 - trimmed arriving in morocco
- 7:42 - Trimmed getting in carriage
- 7:48 - Hank's comment crosses over with Jo watching Bernard
- 7:53 - Trimmed Jo watching bernard
- 8:31 - Trimmed Jo listing things Bernard now knows
- 8:55 - Conversation ends on "I have a feeling that Mr Bernard has...." and cut rest of conversation. Conversation ends on a blackout instead of a crossfade
- 8:58 - cut shot of carriage. Fade in later
- 9:21 - After "we're being watched" we have a straight cross-fade instead of another blackout
- 10:19 - Trimmed ce sera sera
- 11:12/11:39 - Trimmed Jo's conversation with Bernard
- 11:46 - Trimmed opening door
- 11:55 - Stranger at door inquires in english only, not french as well
- 12:30 - Trimmed Bernard speaking on telephone
- 13:07 - trimmed entering resteraunt
- 13:23 - Trimmed struggling to sit at morrocan resturaunt
- 13:45 - trimmed waiters arrival
- 13:48/14:06 - trimmed washing hands
- 15:47 - Trimmed conversation and food arriving
- 16:03 - trimmed bread antics
- 16:11 - trimmed meat tutorial and conversation
- 16:24 - slight change to shots during Jo speaking
- 17:04 - Ben interrupts to get up sooner
- 17:43 - Bernard doesn't speak to his companion in french, we just fade out.
- 17:52-18:03 - Further trims to moroccon festivities
- 18:49 - trimmed joking about medical expenses
- 19:51 - trimmed Drayton arriving
- 19:00 - further trims to Ben and Jo joking
- 19:29 - trimmed Hank showing sewing machines
- 19:36 - trimmed reaction to hank and market kafuffle
- 19:39 - trimmed Hank running away
- 19:49-20:14 - various trims to Bernard running from assasins. Various trims to Bernard approaching Ben
- 20:49 - we do not hear what Bernard whispers to Ben. This information is revealed later.
- 20:53- trimmed bernard whispering
- 21:14 - trimmed Ben making his way through the crowd
- 21:22 - trimmed Jo getting Ben a pen
- 21:27 - cut Drayton talking to police in french. he just translates
- 21:32 - trimmed police reaction
- 21:48 - trimmed Drayton convincing parents to let them take Hank
- 22:03 - trimmed Jo and Ben walking
- 22:28 - cut walking to police station / cut opening of conversation
- 22:36 - cut “they’re a cynical lot” and some other back and forth
- 24:02 - trimmed policeman listing connections to Bernard
- 24:11 - trimmed shot
- 24:27 - cut a chunk of buildup dialogue. We escalate to accusations quicker
- 24:31 - cut line and have policeman interupt jimmy
- 26:17/26:21/26:36 - Trimmed talking on phone
- 27:05 - cut some back and forth reassurance
- 34:15 - trimmed external shot. Hard cut instead of fade. Trimmed ben packing clothes.
- 36:30 - trimmed plane arriving
- 37:21 - cut a bunch of crowd clamouring and explanation from the staff. Fade straight to the office
- 40:24 - cut phone introductions
- 42;22 - fade out sooner
- 42:26 - trimmed entering hotel
- 44:06 - cut bickering about definition of psychosomatic
- 44:15 - trimmed Jo sitting down
- 44:20 - trimmed jimmy talking on phone. Trimmed Jo waiting to break the silence
- 44:33 - cut ALOT of chit chatter, some of it underscores jimmy on the phone, and jimmy abruptly says he has to leave
- 44:44 - trimmed jo pleading
- 45:49/46:03 - trims to Ben thinking he’s being stalked
- 46:13 - trimmed Ambrose walking away
- 46:15 - insert of Ambrose Chapel Taxidermist sign
- 46:17 - cut to Ambrose looking back over his shoulder
- 46:20 - trims to shots
- 46:25 - cut Ben walking towards building/insert extended shot of alleyway
- 46:33 - trimmed Ben walking down alleyway
- 46:37 - trimmed camera pan
- 46:45 - extended shot.
- 46:48 - cut shot of ben walking towards door
- 47:08 - cut there being two ambrose chapels. we go straight to the son
- 47:16 - trimmed Ambrose walking toward ben
- 48:53 - fixed double no no glitch
- 48:54 - 49:26 - Re-scored scene using re-arranged fragments lifted from North by Northwest (in order to acheive a different tone, less comedic). Foley. various trims to shots.
- 49:21 - cut shot of tiger
- 49:27 - cut shot of lion. cut opening chit-chatter, cut straight to query about jo’s husband
- 49:49 - trimmed silence between jo’s lines
- 49:57 - trimmed looking in phone directory
- 50:05 - trimmed guests looking puzzled
- 50:29 - cut guests speculating on what’s going on
- 50:51 - cut “she left 20 minutes ago - the phone rings as Ben is leaving. Added “yes? doctor come back it’s Jo!”
- 50:59 - cut looking back through the directory, hard cut to phone call.
- 51:03 - cut talking about chapel
- 51:16 - cut Ben asking for the address again
- 51:20 - trimmed getting out of car
- Re-arranged scenes so that first scene inside church takes place after Ben shows up, not before.
- 52:27 - cut giving details about seating arrangemnets. Cut straight to giving the musical cue
- 52:32 - cut exposition and go straight to “listen carefully”. The audience can deduce the importance of the musical cue
- 52:46 - cut over 2 minutes of dialogue. We hear the cue once, then we cut to the assassin leaving. bada-bing, bada-boom
- 52:42 - Masked Jo out of birds-eye shot of assassin leaving for continuity (she’s no longer waiting for ben)
- 52:59 - We now cut to jo and ben entering the church instead of Jo still waiting for ben. various trims.
- 53:28 - cut a bunch of dialogue between ben and jo. trimmed fake singing
- 53:33 - trimmed Mrs Drayton so she spots them quicker
- 53:41 - trimmed Ben and Jo staring at Mrs Drayton
- 53:57 - trimmed walking down aisle
- 54:10 - Mrs Drayton only nods towards jo and ben once, then walks away
- 54:12 - trimmed Mr Drayton’s puzzled look
- 54:13 - trimmed singing and congregation sitting
- 54:25 - trimmed sermon
- 55:07 - trimmed jo leaving
- 56:30 - trimmed people leaving
- 56:53 - general trims across Ben and Drayton’s conversation for a more heated pace. Less gaps between lines.
- 57:36 - trimmed start of phone convo. General trims to pace of dialogue
- 58:32 - trimmed shots
- 59:29 - trimmed searching around exterior building. Cut to door rattling from inside. Rescore tweak to allow for smoother cuts between in and outside the church
- 1:00:01 - trimmed police orders
- 1:00:04 -trimmed ben escaping from tower and people’s reactions
- 1:01:31-1:03:20 - trims to jo searching around the albert hall
- 1:03:20-1:07:54 - The whole orchestra sequence is revisited from my last cut. Previously, all I did was cut out the portion of the music that HItchcock had clearly looped. Having removed this repeated section, I then made trims that fit with the new length of the piece. This time I have made various trims and tweaks to the piece of music in order to have more control over the pace of the scene. However, there still has to be a balance between the realistic length of the piece, maintaining the general rythm of things, and allowing all the action to flow naturally. Ben does not spend much less time searching here, but there is a faster build up to his arrival and the killer making their move. There is also less faffing about with Ben and Jo. Ben arrives, briefly interacts with Jo, then immediately goes to look for the killer.
- 1:08:03 - trimmed Jo explaining things
- 1:08:12 - trimmed shot
- 1:09:17 - trimmed going to office and start of conversation
- 1:09:49 - cut draytons waiting to be seen and being shown in. Cut A LOT of the start of the conversation, repeating information we already know, or don’t need to know.
- General trims to the pace of the conversation. This scene has some of the worst acting in the film. Generally tried to make it faster paced/more heated, trimming poor delivery where possible
- 1:11:31 - trimmed draytons awkward silence. Trimmed start of convo with Buchanon
- 1:14:50 - adjusted volume, EQ and reverb on Jo’s vocals to match the distance as the shot moves outside the room
- Trimmed shots leading up to the room Hank is in
- 1:15:21 - cut one whole verse and chorus of Jo’s song
- 1:15:31 - scrubbing of score, foley, and rescoring for continuity with what part of the song Jo is on
- 1:16:32 - cut line from song so that Jo reacts quicker to the whistling
- 1:16:51 - Ben slips out the room quicker
- 1:17:00 - Cut an entire verse and chorus from Jo’s song. Ben generally makes his way out of the room quicker
- 1:18:35 - mrs drayton intervenes quicker. Pace of dialogue increases
- 1:19:31 - trimmed shot
- 1:20:09 - trimmed shot
Final timeline snapshot:
Old OP:
This builds on my former Scribbling Cut, which rearranged the narrative and made some relatively light pacing trims. I'm fond of where my old cut is at, but I recognise that there is a lot of room for more extreme trims without negatively impacting the narrative. This will build on that cut and will not shy away from the scissors. I'm just sort of popping back between this and other edits. I'm familiar with the matrerial here and revisiting it feels kind of zen, so it's a nice "break" from when other edits are challenging me.
I've made my way through a quarter of my original cuts so far and have shaved off a further ten minutes already (18 minutes in total from the theatrical runtime). Continuing at this rate, it could end up being a significantly shorter film.
In my old cut I rescored the opening, closing, and opera sequence with polished re-recordings of the soundtrack. That will be retained here (with original audio as a secondary option).
Title TBC. Open to better suggestions.
I've made my way through a quarter of my original cuts so far and have shaved off a further ten minutes already (18 minutes in total from the theatrical runtime). Continuing at this rate, it could end up being a significantly shorter film.
In my old cut I rescored the opening, closing, and opera sequence with polished re-recordings of the soundtrack. That will be retained here (with original audio as a secondary option).
Title TBC. Open to better suggestions.
Last edited: