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Fan Edit Of The Year (FEOTY) 2021: and the WINNERS are...! here Congratulations!
Finished the latest set of touch-ups to the script. They are as follow:
Krypton is now identified as Krypton (figured keeping the planet's name a mystery was pointless)
Kara/Linda has been changed to Luma-Lyn (a character inspired by Luma Lynai)
Mrs. Bogdanove is now Miss Maggin
Lana's mother's name has been changed from Carol to Sarah (the character's name pre-Crisis)
Lana's father's name has been changed from Thomas to Lewis (ditto)
Nell's name has been changed to Helen (the character's name post-Crisis)
Removed Luthor's scenes (I've decided to place his introduction in Act II instead)
I've also decided to retool my original plot somewhat. I've decided against making Luthor a military officer; I'll be making him a weapons scientist/defense conglomerate magnate instead. Also, Brainiac won't be making an appearance; a different character will serve as secondary antagonist (I won't reveal who just yet).
I've come to realize that I have too much story to fit comfortably inside a trilogy of feature-length screenplays, so I've decided to retool my Superman trilogy into a three-season series instead. Everything from the destruction of Krypton to the development of Clark's powers is Episode 1, everything from Labor Day weekend to Jonathan's phone conversation with Helen is Episode 2, and I imagine a minimum of five further episodes to follow, bringing Season 1 to a close.
Aside from adding "OPENING/END CREDITS" tags to delineate the two episodes, I've removed the Luma flashbacks. They'll be fleshed out into a full flashback episode later on.
I've changed my mind about having Clark able to instinctively understand Kryptonian. I removed the babysitting scene entirely, since its only purpose was to show baby Clark had latent understanding of his native tongue, and rewrote the scenes with Clark and Luma conversing in Kryptonian.
Shifted the timeline from 1914-1931 to 1916-1933. I wanted my timeline to more closely align with the Earth-Two timeline, which places Kal-L’s birthdate in 1916.
Changed Luma’s eye colour to aureolin. I did this to further distinguish the character from Kara, as well as to give her a more fierce, otherworldly appearance.
Removed most instances of characters using electrical appliances and phones. It was pointed out to me that a rural community like Smallville wouldn’t have had much in the way of electricity or telecommunication in the early '30s.
Altered Luma’s early dialogue into pseudo-Elizabethan English. I figured memorizing the King James Bible would have an effect on her speech patterns.
Removed the bit about Clark having never left Smallville or been to the movies. I realized even if Smallville was off the beaten path, as soon as his super speed emerged, Clark would’ve started visiting neighbouring towns and cities.
I've hit a snag with writing this series. The plan has always been to use Luthor as the main villain of the story, but I've been having trouble figuring out how to organically involve him in the proceedings. I believe I've finally found a solution, but it would require me to retool much of what I've written so far — namely, everything with Luma would have to be tossed out and the character entirely reimagined. As you can imagine, I'm not keen on doing this, but I may have to to get the story where I want it.
I've gone ahead and started revising the completed episodes. The changes to "The Last Son" are already finished.
The opening on Krypton's been simplified. No Luma, no other Kryptonians. The only beings shown are anonymous robots who prepare the birthing matrices for launch.
The Codex, an Eradicator-type device, is sent along with the birthing matrices to Earth. It crashes in Antarctica, forming the Fortress of Solitude.
Changed a few dates.
The revisions to "Stranger in a Strange Land" will be more extensive. Luma's scenes will be discarded, no doubt about that now. Remaining scenes will have to be rearranged, new scenes written to fill the gaps. I may end up folding "Thanksgiving" into it, keeping the Clark/Helen subplot to a single episode. I have no idea how long this'll take.
Last year, while working on "Thanksgiving", at the same time I was writing a fourth episode: "World of Krypton I". This was going to be an adaptation of John Byrne's World of Krypton, the first part of a 2/3-part arc exploring Krypton's backstory. Since then, I've decided I want to ground this series more, to hew closer to the Siegel & Shuster stories, with an emphasis on class struggle rather than sci-fi scenarios, so I'm nixing this storyline.
For anyone interested in reading the unfinished "World of Krypton I", here's the link: