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The "Mixing Up TV/Movie Quotes" Thread

Duragizer

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“That ought to hold the little S.O.B.s.”

“Gabbo, quiet.”

“I wouldn’t want to offend the little S.O.B.s.”

“I wish you’d stop saying that.”

“All the kids in Springfield are S.O.B.s.”
 

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“The gun is good. The penis is evil. The penis shoots seeds and makes new life to poison the Earth with a plague of Men, as once it was. But the gun shoots death and purifies the Earth of the filth of Brutals.”
 

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“This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass, Larry.”
 

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“If you have a milkshake and I have a milkshake, and I have a straw – there it is, that’s the straw, you see, watching? – and my straw reaches acroooooooooooss the room and starts to drink your milkshake, I – drink – your – milkshake! *slurp* I drink it up!
 

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"I should’ve been honest with you from the start. I wasn’t born to show people the error of their ways; I was born to murder the world. You can still help me do that if you want."

"Why would I wanna do that?"

"The lady has a new love in her life. Your friends are all dead. No one can save you now but me."
 

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“Oh, yes, that’s very good, I like that... Oh! Something’s not right, because now I can’t see!”
 

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“Friend of yours? Look, he hasn’t got any relatives and the coma he’s in is irreversible. Give me a signature and I’ll pull the plug now.”
 

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“What is that?”

“What you came for. A touch of magic in this world obsessed with science. A tonic. A potion.”

“What does it do?”

“How old would you guess I am?”

“I wouldn’t. . . .”

“C’mon. Don’t try to flatter me.”

“Thirty-eight? Oh, twenty-eight! Three – twenty-three?”

“I am seventy-one years old. That’s what it does. It stops the aging process dead in its tracks and forces it into retreat! Drink that potion, and you’ll never grow even one day older! Don’t drink it, and continue to watch yourself rot.”
 

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“What do you see?”

“The city as if it were unborn. Rising into the sky with fingers of metal, limbs without flesh, girders without stone. Signs hanging without support. Wires dipping and swaying without poles. A city unborn. Flesh dissolved in an acid of light. A city of the dead.”
 

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“Last night, Darth Vader came down from planet Vulcan and told me that if I didn’t take Lorraine out, that he’d melt my brain.”
 

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“Don’t jump back so slow. I thought you was a bunny. Bunny jump fast.”
 

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“Do you know what the secret of life is?”

“No, what?”

“This.”

“Your finger?”
 

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"Where in hell are you from, anyway, Private?"

"Sir, Texas, sir!"

"Holy dog shit! Texas‽ Only steers and
q****s come from Texas, Private Cowboy! And you don't much look like a steer to me, so that kinda narrows it down. Do you suck dicks?"

"Sir, no, sir!"

"Are you a
peter-p****r‽"

"Sir, no, sir!"

"I'll bet you're the kinda guy that would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give him a reach-around! I'll be watching you!"
 

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“You can’t take Her Royal Highness there! The Hutts are gangsters! If they discovered her —”

“It would be no different than if we landed on a system controlled by the Federation. Except that the Hutts aren’t looking for her, which gives us the advantage.”
 

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“This is it, Jennifer! Your big break in TV! Welcome to prime time, bitch!”
 

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"And now, folks, it's time for 'Who do you trust!' Hubba, hubba, hubba! Money, money, money! Who do you trust? Me? I'm giving away free money. And where is the Batman?"

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"He's at home, washing his tights!"
 

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“Where we’re going, we won’t need eyes to see.”
 

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“For me, this is the first moment of my new freedom. For you – *laughs* – for you, this is the last moment of your life!”

“My life?”

"Your life! In a moment I shall lift my foot and crush you – insect, beetle, worm that you are!"

“But Sheik of Spirits, I fished you out of the sea! I opened your bottle! I let you out! You can’t be so ungrateful!”

“Ungrateful‽ Slaves are not grateful! Not for their freedom! *laughs* Listen. Inside my bottle for the first thousand years, I swore that I’d enrich the one that freed me with all the riches of the Earth. But in the second thousand years, my imprisoned spirit turned to vengeance on all that lived and were free. And I swore that I’d kill he who freed me to satisfy that hate. Are you ready?”
 
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