The Hand of the King (Game of Thrones Season 1 Edit)

[ssj]

. . . . but I finally recorded the commentary track last night with my wife. . . . general tomfoolery and some serious double IPA action.

son, this is a family-friendly forum.

in other news, I've taken to walking around the workplace while intermittently ejaculating, "I AM YOUR KING" in a British accent.

(sorry, njvc, it didn't work with an aussie accent.)

 

[thecuddlyninja]

in other news, i've taken to walking around the workplace while intermittently ejaculating, "i am your king" in a british accent..

you are now my king!!

All hail!

We're not worthy

 

[ssj]

haha. looking forward to your edit, C-ninja!

 

[thecuddlyninja]

This has been completed. I submitted it to info and once it is available there I will release it on here, as well. You can PM for the link to 1080p mp4 or BD iso (both with commentary track) in the meantime if you would like to watch it now.

 

[thecuddlyninja]

This is now available for download at info and pending release here.

 

[Adabisi]

This was a good edit and with a few tweaks it could be really good. My notes:

-Video and audio quality were perfect
-opening titles were great
-it takes a long time to get to some action. The sword fight doesn't happen until about halfway through the edit. Up to that point it's all dialogue and exposition. It's easy to get lost with all the characters while trying to make sense of exactly what and who they're all talking about.
-What happened to Jaime? And Catelyn?
-there are some rough audio transitions at about 45, 54, and 57 minutes. They aren't quite hard cuts, but it was obvious that an edit took place. A bit more smoothing out would go a long way
-the video fade in/out at 62 minutes was awkward, as was the cut to black at 67 minutes
-Arya: if you're going to show someone training to do something, they eventually have to do that thing. Imagine Karate Kid without the tournament, Rocky IV without the Drago fight, Empire without the Vader/Luke showdown, etc.
-the final scene was odd.

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The audience has no idea who that guy was who grabbed Arya. I would try to edit it so he doesn't grab her and take her away.

-Finally,

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post credit sequences can be tricky. I nearly stopped the edit once the credits started rolling and would have missed it otherwise. That said, the post-credit scene is absolutely brilliant and I loved it.

I think this edit could be really great with a little bit more work put into it. Good job and I hope you take another crack at it.

 

[thecuddlyninja]

^Thank you for the detailed feedback and nice words. I really appreciate it. I find it very helpful. I have some thoughts and questions below, if you are interested.

it takes a long time to get to some action. The sword fight doesn't happen until about halfway through the edit. Up to that point it's all dialogue and exposition. It's easy to get lost with all the characters while trying to make sense of exactly what and who they're all talking about.

I was aware of this, as well. The show itself has no action at all up to that point other than the opening White Walker scene (which I loved but ended up cutting because it's irrelevant to this story), mostly. The two things I could possibly include that aren't talking are the Joffrey/Butcher's boy scene and Bran falling. It's definitely worth considering again. My logic behind using none of the Joff/Butcher's boy stuff is that it makes it take longer to get to King's Landing and into the main story and it sets up Joff

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as a terrible person from the opening. I wanted that to become progressively clearer as we go. That was the thought, anyway.

I originally had Bran in it but dying when he fell. He can't live, because that's another character without a sastisfying conclusion. When I had him dying, I then had to have Catelyn coming to King's Landing and the stuff with the blade. I liked that but in order to pay that off I had to have Tyrion in the edit (love the character but still). He has no part of satisfying arc, so I had him getting killed by Lysa. When she "tries" him I made it so when she first opens the door he gets tossed. The effect was not convincing at all (I used another character's later fall as the basis but it just didn't look right). I'm going to give some serious thought to if there's a different way to make some of that work. This did start out as a 2hr 45 minute edit because I love all that stuff! Maybe it would be better to have Bran and some Tyrion. Tyrion would have to be left open with no semblance of a conclusion but the trade-off for fleshing out the lead's wife is worth considering.

What happened to Jaime? And Catelyn?

Good point about both. Jaime is kinda the right hand to the evil queen here. I wish

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he didn't later get maimed by a completely random/unimportant character so there's nothing there to use.

I will give some thought to what else is possible. For Catelyn, I am okay with it personally as in this edit she is pretty unimportant. But in my original cut, she was critical.

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Bran was killed, she captured Tyrion after going to King's Landing. So the way I gave her a conclusion was by intercutting the Red Wedding alongside the final scene with Ned. I really liked it but it opened up more problems (and added about 30 minutes of runtime). Though it made sense because Viserys tells Ned his son is marching towards the capital, and I have the RW look like it happens when they first encounter the Freys.

It was really cool but then Rob comes up out of nowhere since the film's opening and we have no idea who the Freys are. When I cut the whole Bran/knife/Tyrion/Lysa stuff, I still kept the RW at the end because I loved it but then it was mixing a scene with a bunch of characters nobody watching the edit knows about along with the lead character's conclusion. Perhaps there's a middle ground where she can get a conclusion

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that isn't so morbid.

I'd have to really rewatch Season 2 and figure out if anything is there.

there are some rough audio transitions at about 45, 54, and 57 minutes. They aren't quite hard cuts, but it was obvious that an edit took place. A bit more smoothing out would go a long way
-the video fade in/out at 62 minutes was awkward, as was the cut to black at 67 minutes

I'll look at these, thanks. I have a feeling I know which these are. There were a couple that gave me a lot of trouble. I'll take a look and see how I can improve them.

Arya: if you're going to show someone training to do something, they eventually have to do that thing. Imagine Karate Kid without the tournament, Rocky IV without the Drago fight, Empire without the Vader/Luke showdown, etc.
-the final scene was odd.

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The audience has no idea who that guy was who grabbed Arya. I would try to edit it so he doesn't grab her and take her away.

These are both good points. My thought with the Arya stuff was that cutting that training makes there really be nothing other than talking for very long stretches, which is long enough as it is. I'm really curious what you think about this: originally I had a fake trailer as a post-credits stinger, an 'Arya is Coming' thing comprised of footage of her straight waxing guys from Seasons 2 and 3. It was cool but confusing since that's not an edit I'm making (can't really, until the series wraps and then we'll see). BUT DominicCobb had a fantastic idea that I plan on using in a few months. Once Season 5 is out on blu-ray I want to have the scene where Arya meets up with Ser Merryn Trant again. It'll be a great connection since we'll have just see him and Syrio's scene. I wanted it to be her living so that the implication is that there will be hell to pay for the Lannisters in the future. If it made you stop and think it's weird that random guy saves her, that takes you out of it. Perhaps it will work better with the season 5 conclusion. Do you think the edit would work better without Arya's training or with the Season 5 stinger? She has to be in the edit as she is critical to the scene where Ned figures out the truth about Joffrey, and the scene with Merryn and Syrio at the end gives us some nice tension and action IMO. Here's the original stinger (not finished but you get the idea) (PW: fanedit.org):

I think basically I'm curious as to your opinion of whether a trailer/stinger/tease is enough of a payoff to justify the training, keeping in mind that it breaks up the talky talk a lot. I think regardless she doesn't need to be scooped up at the end; her watching it and being alive suffices.

Finally,

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post credit sequences can be tricky. I nearly stopped the edit once the credits started rolling and would have missed it otherwise. That said, the post-credit scene is absolutely brilliant and I loved it.

Thank you! I made the 'short credits' incredibly fast (about 30 seconds) with this in mind. It sounds like they're juuuust short enough. I did want to separate the scenes since they certainly feel like a time lapse. I'm really glad you liked the scene.

I think this edit could be really great with a little bit more work put into it. Good job and I hope you take another crack at it.

Thank you again for the input. You have given me a few things to think about. I hope this does not come off as a point by point rebuttal of criticism. Honestly, I am 100% doing a V2 when Season 5 comes out on video and I am absolutely willing to consider other changes. I'm not super precious about my work and I am so into Game of Thrones (as is my #1 previewer and wife) so it is incredibly hard for us to separate ourselves from the knowledge and treat the edit's story as standalone. Obviously, I tried to do that throughout the whole process but fresh eyes come in and see some story things you hadn't thought about. I think that's great and I am curious to hear your thoughts on some of the ideas and logic I had. But you watched my edit and gave extremely detailed, thoughtful feedback and I can't ever ask for any more than that.

Much appreciated and cheers!

 

[Adabisi]

I know it's a bit of a hack move, but how about opening with the sword fight scene then fading out to "X Weeks Earlier..."? Grabbing the audience's attention right away might make the 45 minutes of dialogue and exposition easier to handle. Just a thought.

Jaime and Catelyn: I can see how it would be an issue to give them a conclusion. Catelyn isn't that important, but I think you need something to explain what happened to Jaime. You don't even have to show it, just an off hand comment by another character would work.

Arya: Your trailer for a fanedit that doesn't and won't exist is the perfect answer. Do it. And ditch the scene with her being scooped.

Couple more thoughts:

-You might want to change the opening music to something other than the show's theme music. I'm not enough of an aficionado to recognize if that's the actual theme or just a different version of the same song. But, I've made a few TV-to-movie edits and, except for my Emerald City II edit, always made a conscious decision not to use the show's opening theme, at the very least to let the audience know that this is not a TV show, but a stand-alone movie.

-You already have a bunch of approved edits - why is this in the pending approval forum?

 

[thecuddlyninja]

EDIT: Stupidly forgot to start with thanking you for taking the time. I'm such a massive fan of the books and show and have worked on this edit off and on for 8 months now, so I am really so far in the weeds that all outsider perspectives are really helpful to me.

I know it's a bit of a hack move, but how about opening with the sword fight scene then fading out to "X Weeks Earlier..."? Grabbing the audience's attention right away might make the 45 minutes of dialogue and exposition easier to handle. Just a thought.

It is a bit but sometimes using a cliche works. I do think it would be good to have SOMETHING exciting. I'd been pondering other stuff without thinking of the obvious. This could work. It's certainly easy enough to try and see how it is, thanks.

Jaime and Catelyn: I can see how it would be an issue to give them a conclusion. Catelyn isn't that important, but I think you need something to explain what happened to Jaime. You don't even have to show it, just an off hand comment by another character would work.

Yeah, I definitely see your point with Jaime. Even if he were a part of the stuff at the end it would be better but he needs to have something there. I'm going to rewatch some stuff for ideas.

Arya: Your trailer for a fanedit that doesn't and won't exist is the perfect answer. Do it. And ditch the scene with her being scooped.

This is tricky. I like it, obviously (I did make it originally after all). But it was specifically called out to remove to get approval. The logic was that it's confusing since it doesn't exist. Perhaps I can play with the idea keeping Season 5 in mind. I'd want to get Dominic on board and not put something back that was asked to be removed for approval. I am definitely cutting the scoop, though.

-You might want to change the opening music to something other than the show's theme music. I'm not enough of an aficionado to recognize if that's the actual theme or just a different version of the same song. But, I've made a few TV-to-movie edits and, except for my Emerald City II edit, always made a conscious decision not to use the show's opening theme, at the very least to let the audience know that this is not a TV show, but a stand-alone movie.

It is a version of the theme song performed all on cellos. Your point is well-taken. There are a lot of great tunes on the soundtrack. I think the version I chose fit the credits very well but had not really considered differentiating with something new. I'll peruse the soundtracks with an open mind.

You already have a bunch of approved edits - why is this in the pending approval forum?

I submitted this edit before Natural Born Killers. Frankly, this was originally pretty messy and convoluted, and overly ambitious effects-wise. It took a long time to pare it down, really streamline the narrative while making it clearer, and improve early technical issues. While going through that process, my NBK edit got approved and I did a few other edits as well. But this was actually the first thing I did and that's why it's in the pending approval section.

 

[Adabisi]

Regarding the Arya trailer, since you're already an approved editor, you should be able to do what you like with this one, but I don't know what the rules are regarding this type of situation. Are you planning on releasing another version of this edit? If so, you might want to ask that this get moved to In The Works and pulled from ifdb. Whatever you decide, best of luck with this one.

 

[DominicCobb]

This is tricky. I like it, obviously (I did make it originally after all). But it was specifically called out to remove to get approval. The logic was that it's confusing since it doesn't exist. Perhaps I can play with the idea keeping Season 5 in mind. I'd want to get Dominic on board and not put something back that was asked to be removed for approval. I am definitely cutting the scoop, though.

I didn't quite say that it needed to be removed for an approval, at least I hope I didn't. My suggestion was to remove it, but you could have kept it if you wanted. My problem was that it was unclear if it was a trailer or a post credit scene or something else (as well there were some rough cuts). I personally found it a little confusing but if you want to include it in a newer version you can, but I'd suggest changing it a bit (I can give you some ideas how if you want).

 

[thecuddlyninja]

I personally found it a little confusing but if you want to include it in a newer version you can, but I'd suggest changing it a bit (I can give you some ideas how if you want).

Okay thanks. I would definitely like to hear ideas. Your idea to incorporate the season 5 scene is great and 100% happening when it comes out. I'm thinking mostly that with a little bit of the stuff above.

 

[thecuddlyninja]

Thank you for the review, Adabisi! It's unfortunate that it didn't work for you as a whole but thank you for watching it and sharing your thoughts. And your kind words about the stinger. I plan to do a V2 of this in a few months, to use a scene from season 5 as an Arya post-credit scene. This is to set up what I want to do in a couple years, a movie or movies focused on Arya's arc. But I have no idea where the books or show will go, so I'm not sure if it's possible. That also wouldn't reeeeally pay off the sword fighting from this movie, but since she's not the main character by any stretch I think it would work for me.

I've gotten a lot of helpful feedback on this one, so the V2 could potentially see some narrative changes, too. Anyway, thanks for taking the time; the feedback is invaluable.

 

[thecuddlyninja]

After some very good suggestions in the reviews of Adabisi, HomeGrownHeroz and D.Vice, as well as great advice from DominicCobb, I have made some changes to improve the pacing, have some action earlier in the edit, smooth some audio and visual cuts and characterize a bit better. Here's what's changed in V2:


- Reinserted scene with Ned and Robert on the way from Winterfell to King's Landing (cut direct references to Jon but kept the rest). This reduces the time jump a bit, and it's a short but good scene.
Reinserted Hand of the King tournament. This injects some action into the story earlier as well as gives Renley, the Hound and Sansa a bit more character earlier.
- Reinserted scene about war stories. This goes to characterize Robert better before his death as well as break up Joff/Cersei scene and Joff/Sansa scene for better flow. Also, it lets the viewer know Selmy a bit more which will hopefully make his disgrace at the end more powerful.
- Reinserted Varys/Littlefinger scene in the throne room. It's a great scene, fleshes Littlefinger out more, and segues from Ned/Selmy to Ned/Varys
- Added new post-credits stinger (expanding upon current Arya one with Ser Meryn Trant scene from Season 5)

I believe it flows much better now. This will be available in the next day or two so PM me if interested in checking the new version out.

 

[thecuddlyninja]

V2 is complete. I am happier with this version thanks to some great feedback. This is a replacement in my eyes so the new links will be sent to info when it's back up. In the meantime PM me if interested.