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The Emotional Support Thread

Revan100

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Life is full of problems that can get in the way of everything we do. The important thing is to push through those problems as best as we can. It's about finding a way out, almost like a maze. It's just a matter of finding the exit.
 

Eyepainter

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Guess it's my turn to talk about my own problems.

I fell in love with a girl when I was 9 years of age. I was in a hardcore Christian family at the time, and I was not allowed to date until I turned 18. With that said, I was filled with a lot of fairy tale romance fantasies, and I thought that I was going to marry her if I only had the courage to befriend her.

Then, when I was 13, my family got an e-mail from the church. Her family was in a car accident, and she was in the worst condition of all. Her heart stopped several times, and the doctors were constantly reviving her. Once nightfall hit, she was pronounced dead. I didn't want to go to the funeral for fear that my secret love for her would be discovered by my parents and/or family members, but I was forced to go anyway. Everyone else at the church was crying their eyes out, so I didn't get noticed.

Since the incident, I've almost always been alone. I've never had any close friends, and even people who are friends with me seem so distant. I feel like the only realist in romance, and that realism drives people away. It seems that when I meet someone who is great, she's already in a relationship. And when I meet someone who is available, she has a shallow, Jerry Maguire-style view of romance, and only wants someone to complete her for her own selfish gain. I try so hard to be financially secure so that I can actually get into a relationship, but I'm at that point where I feel like I'm doomed to be a part-timer forever. I contacted the National Suicide Hotline a few months back, and while it did help me get back on my feet, I still feel as alone as ever. I'm in my early 30s now, and I'm at that point where I wonder if I'm ever going to find someone.
 

matrixgrindhouse

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Guess it's my turn to talk about my own problems.

I fell in love with a girl when I was 9 years of age. I was in a hardcore Christian family at the time, and I was not allowed to date until I turned 18. With that said, I was filled with a lot of fairy tale romance fantasies, and I thought that I was going to marry her if I only had the courage to befriend her.

Then, when I was 13, my family got an e-mail from the church. Her family was in a car accident, and she was in the worst condition of all. Her heart stopped several times, and the doctors were constantly reviving her. Once nightfall hit, she was pronounced dead. I didn't want to go to the funeral for fear that my secret love for her would be discovered by my parents and/or family members, but I was forced to go anyway. Everyone else at the church was crying their eyes out, so I didn't get noticed.

Since the incident, I've almost always been alone. I've never had any close friends, and even people who are friends with me seem so distant. I feel like the only realist in romance, and that realism drives people away. It seems that when I meet someone who is great, she's already in a relationship. And when I meet someone who is available, she has a shallow, Jerry Maguire-style view of romance, and only wants someone to complete her for her own selfish gain. I try so hard to be financially secure so that I can actually get into a relationship, but I'm at that point where I feel like I'm doomed to be a part-timer forever. I contacted the National Suicide Hotline a few months back, and while it did help me get back on my feet, I still feel as alone as ever. I'm in my early 30s now, and I'm at that point where I wonder if I'm ever going to find someone.

If those self-harm impulses ever return, under any circumstances, you must seek out help again immediately. I am sorry for your loss and your struggles. But the world is vast and populous. There's someone out there for you. Whether you find that special someone sooner or later - you need to make the most of your life. Our existence is precious. Find joys beyond interpersonal connection and pursue those as well. Find happiness where you can, and cherish it.
 

Jrzag42

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Just got hit with a bomb of transphobic ranting from my grandfather who l'm currently staying with. I just nodded and went along with it until he was done, and then escaped to my room where l'm now crying and trembling. I knew his views and whatnot, but l thought he would at least keep this shit to himself. It's like l'm back to 2019 when l had to leave home after a big fight with my mom's boyfriend. I can't do this again, l don't have anywhere else to run to now. I'm so uncomfortable right now. "Jacob you were born as, and Jacob you will always be to me." "When l was just seeing you guys once in a while l was like okay, l'll go along with this. I believe in tn each their own, but not when you're staying with me and expect me to treat you different" "l grew up with male and female, he and she, not they and them, that's all made up. It's hard to get through to the younger generation about that."
He has complained to my mom who has then relayed to me, that l'm always in my room and never leave, and that l'm living there rent free so l should at least clean around the house, do dishes and sweep and whatnot. Understandable, so today while he was out l took the time to wash some dishes. And he happened to come home while l was out of my room, and decided then that he would talk to me himself about picking up around the house, in his typical passive aggressive way. And that's when it devolved into the above bullshit.
Now, why have l been spending all my time in my room? Because dealing with people terrifies me, especially dealling with my grandfather. He's tall, in his early 60's, very loud, has a bad temper, is always grumpy, and has been arrested on multiple occasions for some sort of drunken violence, l don't know the specifics. So the idea of leaving my room and risking him seeing me and trying to talk to me is frightening. I haven't been eating as much as l should because l don't want to risk crossing paths with him, even though I know l should be grateful for him giving me a place to stay.
well after today l see myself leaving my room even less than l have been. I tried doing what he wanted and things are just worse for it, so no more of that.

My stepmother's dad had the same views and everything as my grandfather, but he at least used my name and never tried to invalidate who l am, because to him family always came first.

Now, these forums are my only solace, so if anyone here has a problem with me then please keep it to yourself, l can't deal with more of that right now.
 

Dwight Fry

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Just got hit with a bomb of transphobic ranting from my grandfather who l'm currently staying with. I just nodded and went along with it until he was done, and then escaped to my room where l'm now crying and trembling. I knew his views and whatnot, but l thought he would at least keep this shit to himself. It's like l'm back to 2019 when l had to leave home after a big fight with my mom's boyfriend. I can't do this again, l don't have anywhere else to run to now. I'm so uncomfortable right now. "Jacob you were born as, and Jacob you will always be to me." "When l was just seeing you guys once in a while l was like okay, l'll go along with this. I believe in tn each their own, but not when you're staying with me and expect me to treat you different" "l grew up with male and female, he and she, not they and them, that's all made up. It's hard to get through to the younger generation about that."
He has complained to my mom who has then relayed to me, that l'm always in my room and never leave, and that l'm living there rent free so l should at least clean around the house, do dishes and sweep and whatnot. Understandable, so today while he was out l took the time to wash some dishes. And he happened to come home while l was out of my room, and decided then that he would talk to me himself about picking up around the house, in his typical passive aggressive way. And that's when it devolved into the above bullshit.
Now, why have l been spending all my time in my room? Because dealing with people terrifies me, especially dealling with my grandfather. He's tall, in his early 60's, very loud, has a bad temper, is always grumpy, and has been arrested on multiple occasions for some sort of drunken violence, l don't know the specifics. So the idea of leaving my room and risking him seeing me and trying to talk to me is frightening. I haven't been eating as much as l should because l don't want to risk crossing paths with him, even though I know l should be grateful for him giving me a place to stay.
well after today l see myself leaving my room even less than l have been. I tried doing what he wanted and things are just worse for it, so no more of that.

My stepmother's dad had the same views and everything as my grandfather, but he at least used my name and never tried to invalidate who l am, because to him family always came first.

Now, these forums are my only solace, so if anyone here has a problem with me then please keep it to yourself, l can't deal with more of that right now.
For what it's worth, in case it helps: YOU ARE 100% VALID. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
 

asterixsmeagol

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I'll be honest. As a cisgendered person, I don't really get what it feels like to be trans/non-binary. But I don't have to get it. I get that people want to use different pronouns than they were given at birth, and that's fine. If your name was Jacob, and you told me you'd rather go by Jake, I'd obviously have no problem calling you that. So if you'd rather I refer to you as they/she, I have no problem doing that either.
 

Jrzag42

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I'll be honest. As a cisgendered person, I don't really get what it feels like to be trans/non-binary. But I don't have to get it. I get that people want to use different pronouns than they were given at birth, and that's fine. If your name was Jacob, and you told me you'd rather go by Jake, I'd obviously have no problem calling you that. So if you'd rather I refer to you as they/she, I have no problem doing that either.
l appreciate it. The funny thing is that back before l started going by a different name, my familly would always call me Jake and l couldn't stand it lol, so please never that (l know it was just an example) :p

The name's Jem (as in "and the Holograms"), there's plenty of people here who already know that and refer to me as such, anyone is free to call me Jem if you want, or just continue calling me by my username, l don't care. I see you all as friends, or dare l say another family, and l trust all (most) of you.
 

addiesin

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I see you all as friends, or dare l say another family, and l trust all (most) of you.
One thing that may be good to hear even if you've heard it before is, you're young, life continues and expands so much after leaving guardianship. While there are more responsibilities, it is also a grand freedom when you come from and leave a home that feels threatening. Just please hang in there, and if you can, save up. There is a light at the end of every tunnel, even if you can't see it because your tunnel isn't "straight".

As a friend and an ally, if you need to vent, I am (and many others also are) here for you.
 

Eyepainter

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I only just discovered that I'm transgender myself back in January, and I know how hard it is living in a southern baptist family that doesn't support this kind of stuff. But ever since I've embraced who I am, I've found that my life has gotten better. Sure, I still have issues to solve. But I've gotten a lot of support from some of my co-workers and even a few customers! I just recently made a friend or two, whereas I had no friends originally. I'm also working on taking a community college course in the future! While my identity has ensured some upheavals in my life as of late, I would never trade it all to be cis again.

All of this is just my way of saying, "Don't give up." There are more people who are willing to accept you for who you are than you realize! If you can find a support group, online or offline, go for it! I've been able to deal with a lot of my own issues by talking about my problems with a bunch of fellow online internet users who are going through the same problems as I am! And if need be, don't be afraid to ask for help! Your identity is not a disadvantage. If anything, it might be the stepping stone you need to get back up!
 

Jrzag42

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I only just discovered that I'm transgender myself back in January, and I know how hard it is living in a southern baptist family that doesn't support this kind of stuff. But ever since I've embraced who I am, I've found that my life has gotten better. Sure, I still have issues to solve. But I've gotten a lot of support from some of my co-workers and even a few customers! I just recently made a friend or two, whereas I had no friends originally. I'm also working on taking a community college course in the future! While my identity has ensured some upheavals in my life as of late, I would never trade it all to be cis again.

All of this is just my way of saying, "Don't give up." There are more people who are willing to accept you for who you are than you realize! If you can find a support group, online or offline, go for it! I've been able to deal with a lot of my own issues by talking about my problems with a bunch of fellow online internet users who are going through the same problems as I am! And if need be, don't be afraid to ask for help! Your identity is not a disadvantage. If anything, it might be the stepping stone you need to get back up!
l'm happy for you, and l appreciate the encouragement!
 

Duragizer

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The last fifteen months have been dark and trying times for me and what remains of my family. Wish I could elaborate, but it's too hard and too painful to lay myself bare.
 

Moe_Syzlak

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One thing that may be good to hear even if you've heard it before is, you're young, life continues and expands so much after leaving guardianship. While there are more responsibilities, it is also a grand freedom when you come from and leave a home that feels threatening. Just please hang in there, and if you can, save up. There is a light at the end of every tunnel, even if you can't see it because your tunnel isn't "straight".

As a friend and an ally, if you need to vent, I am (and many others also are) here for you.
To add to this, I did marketing for the Gill Foundation and the Gay and Lesbian Fund for Colorado about 10 years ago. And let me tell you, things have improved tremendously since then and the pace of it is surprisingly swift. Ten years ago we struggled even within the gay community to find acceptance for trans people. It’s come so far in such a short time. I know that’s cold comfort when the prejudice is coming from your own family. But the numbers of people who accept you as you, Jem, are many and ever increasing. Hang in there and know you are loved and valued.
 

lantern51

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Just got hit with a bomb of transphobic ranting from my grandfather who l'm currently staying with. I just nodded and went along with it until he was done, and then escaped to my room where l'm now crying and trembling. I knew his views and whatnot, but l thought he would at least keep this shit to himself. It's like l'm back to 2019 when l had to leave home after a big fight with my mom's boyfriend. I can't do this again, l don't have anywhere else to run to now. I'm so uncomfortable right now. "Jacob you were born as, and Jacob you will always be to me." "When l was just seeing you guys once in a while l was like okay, l'll go along with this. I believe in tn each their own, but not when you're staying with me and expect me to treat you different" "l grew up with male and female, he and she, not they and them, that's all made up. It's hard to get through to the younger generation about that."
He has complained to my mom who has then relayed to me, that l'm always in my room and never leave, and that l'm living there rent free so l should at least clean around the house, do dishes and sweep and whatnot. Understandable, so today while he was out l took the time to wash some dishes. And he happened to come home while l was out of my room, and decided then that he would talk to me himself about picking up around the house, in his typical passive aggressive way. And that's when it devolved into the above bullshit.
Now, why have l been spending all my time in my room? Because dealing with people terrifies me, especially dealling with my grandfather. He's tall, in his early 60's, very loud, has a bad temper, is always grumpy, and has been arrested on multiple occasions for some sort of drunken violence, l don't know the specifics. So the idea of leaving my room and risking him seeing me and trying to talk to me is frightening. I haven't been eating as much as l should because l don't want to risk crossing paths with him, even though I know l should be grateful for him giving me a place to stay.
well after today l see myself leaving my room even less than l have been. I tried doing what he wanted and things are just worse for it, so no more of that.

My stepmother's dad had the same views and everything as my grandfather, but he at least used my name and never tried to invalidate who l am, because to him family always came first.

Now, these forums are my only solace, so if anyone here has a problem with me then please keep it to yourself, l can't deal with more of that right now.
Personally I have always tried to judge people on WHO that are and not WHAT they are as long as it causes no harm to someone else.

You have always been a valued member here , and I owe you a very large thank you as one of the people who made me feel welcome on here years ago when I started the Last Jedi edit! I also owe you for all the help and feedback you have given me on my other Star Wars edit. I bring this up to show you that you are a good person and you have helped people in your life. The things we do for others and the impacts on those lives are the things that matter the most and you have shown yourself to be a person who values and helps others!

In short, if someone can't see the value you bring to others, then it's their shortcomings, not yours.
 

Jrzag42

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Ya'll are too good to me. I appreciate all of the warm words.

Hey so like, does anyone else just impulsively buy a ton of stuff that you don't need? It's like, the act of spending money makes me feel better. It's probably not a good thing. Right now my biggest thing is comics and movies. Thankfully most of this junk l've been getting pre owned so l'm not spending a fortune. Not really related to any of my other problems l've shared, but l hope getting it off my chest will help me to cut down.
 

Moe_Syzlak

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I’m glad that buying comics and movies makes you feel better. You deserve to feel better. But yeah, impulse buying does give you a dopamine fix. I’d suggest trying to find other, more productive and healthy ways to feel better. Exercise is probably among the best ways. Meditation, focused music listening, getting out in nature/sunlight are all good ways to release dopamine and feel better. But also, I’m just some guy on the Internet; please make sure you’re taking care of yourself and seeking experienced help when needed.
 
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lantern51

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Ya'll are too good to me. I appreciate all of the warm words.

Hey so like, does anyone else just impulsively buy a ton of stuff that you don't need? It's like, the act of spending money makes me feel better. It's probably not a good thing. Right now my biggest thing is comics and movies. Thankfully most of this junk l've been getting pre owned so l'm not spending a fortune. Not really related to any of my other problems l've shared, but l hope getting it off my chest will help me to cut down.
You mean like how I keep buying more books and comics even though I have an ever growing stack of things I haven't read yet :ROFLMAO:
 
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