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I'm so sorry, Handman. I have no words.
It's ok to feel down, low and insecure. It is part of the shadow in us all.
What you have done by sharing that darkest part is actually the light in you cutting thru the darkness.
You don't need to a literary genius to write and be engaging. Heck, there are plenty of people out there dumber than any of us doing real great at what they do...WHY? Coz they went for it! That's the light.
If you have vision, share it. If you have a passion, share it. If you dislike something, someone, share it. The key to stepping into the light is to first understand your darkness, the shadow, and then move beyond it. If you write a screenplay which has authenticity, originality or shares relatable experiences, grammar won't get in the way. Imagine reading the screenplay to The Matrix if it had been a literary or grammatical failing? The originality, the concepts, the philosophy and the world it is et in would still have shone thru like a beacon. SO YOU KEEP AT IT! Sure, take a break, reflect, go smell the rose by all means. Then, revisit.
Many years ago I went away on a 3 day retreat in the middle of nowhere with 30 men I had never met. Over the course of 3 days we all shared...light, dark, good bad and so much more. This was moderated by 30 other men, trained in how to run such an event. It changed my life, and I am cynic NUMERO UNO friend.
So, in order
1. I honor your courage to you sharing your shadow with the community. That is HUGE.
2. Explore that darkness, understand it; try to seek out the root. It is only when we embrace ALL of our characteristics (LIGHT & DARK) than we can step into the light.
3. There can be no light without shadows. Understanding will allow you to come to terms with that darkness...the darker the shadow, the brighter the light that casts it. Both have to be embraced because it is the dark that gives you strength, resilience and above all, perspective thru contrast. Light gives joy, love and purpose.
Share without apologizing, it is not needed. You have done nothing wrong. In fact you have taken a big step in sharing. All of us have these phases in our lives. Anyone who denys it, is not being their authentic self.
I salute you !
If you would like to know more about the retreat I mention, PM me.
"To create a world of loving security thru focused understanding"