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The Emotional Support Thread

Gaith

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jrWHAG42 said:
You didn't ask to be created, that was his choice, and all of the money spent was his choice. It's all on him. Sure it may be good to help him with some things if you want to show respect and say thank you, but you don't owe him anything.

Well said. That, and get a load of my boy Perseus here, and his thoughts on gods:

 

Duragizer

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My mother's ill again. She's been showing signs of fatigue for over a week now, but we figured it may've been due to a combination of the cold weather and stress from my sister's recent car accident. But the fatigue's gotten really bad in the last couple days, and combined with the onset of back pain, low appetite, trouble sleeping, and nausea, I'd say it's a sign her kidney function's gotten dangerously low and its time she started dialysis.

We've known for months now that she'd have to eventually get on dialysis. We should've started making preparations as soon as possible, but as is par for the course with this family, we do jackshit until the shit starts hitting the fan. I think she's gonna have to go back to the hospital tomorrow; we can't put this off any further.
 

Duragizer

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An update on my mom's condition. Turns out it wasn't her kidneys which were making her sick, but a rectal ulcer. Seems she's been bleeding internally this whole time, which accounts for her low blood pressure as of late. She underwent a transfusion, and she's apparently doing a little better. The doctors are gonna have to do some surgery, and she's gonna be staying in the hospital for a week at least.

This isn't the first time my mother's dealt with a rectal ulcer. After her heart attack two years ago, they found her suffering from the same ailment and she went through the same process. Hopefully she'll make the same recovery.
 

Duragizer

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Visited my mom in the hospital today. Unsurprisingly, she's tired, she's on a strictly liquid diet, and she's still receiving transfusions, but she's doing better. The doctors believe her ulcer was caused by her medication, so they're going to have to adjust that.
 

Duragizer

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Time for a story. A somewhat long-winded, distasteful story.

Today I went to take a bus to visit my mom in the hospital. At the last minute, my sister and our roommate decided to join me. Five minutes before the bus arrived, they went off together to the nearby liquor store and picked up two six-packs of beer. Then the bus came and we got on. About a third of the way on the trip, they decided to get off the bus (probably for a smoke and a beer), and catch up later. So I went the rest of the way. I got to the hospital and visited my mother for about a hour? Maybe only a half hour? My sister and the roommate hadn't arrived yet, so I phoned her. She answered and told me they were on their way; they just needed to figure out which bus to take. I then decided to leave; I wanted to do some shopping and get home to fix supper.

About an hour and a half later, I arrived home. First thing I did was call my sister. Lo and behold, it turns out she and the roommate got into an argument after visiting mom and he had left without her. I asked where she was and what she was doing; she told me she was walking home. Well, there's almost 17 km between the hospital and home, so there was no way in hell she'd be able to walk that far. I told her to walk back to the hospital and wait at the bus stop in front until the bus arrived. She didn't want to do that, she wanted to keep walking. I then started yelling into the phone for her to do what I told her. She said she would. The conversation ended there.

A half-hour later, I phoned her again because to know see how she was doing. She hadn't listened to me, she'd continued to walk. I really started to lose my cool and began SCREAMING at her to listen to me. She said she would. I said okay, to phone me back.

Another half-hour later. She didn't phone, so I did again. Same ****ing bullshit. And now she was too far away from the hospital and had lost her bearings. I told her to go to a gas station or someplace and figure out where she was and figure out how to catch a bus from there. She said she'd do that. I told her to phone me back, again.

Another half-hour. I phoned her. Take a wild guess what happened. Now she said she was close to her boss' residence, that she'd stop by there and try to get a lift from him. End of conversation.

Another half-hour. Goddammit, she was still walking. I don't know if her boss wasn't at home or if she'd even stop there. She just told me she was going to walk home. Now she was about 8 km from home, still too far away. She began crying into the phone and blaming the roommate for ditching her. I told her to walk to the university in the area and take a bus home from there. She still wouldn't listen to me.

Sometime after this, I went outside and a found the roommate had made it back home. He told me about how they'd visited my mother, but then as they were leaving, they got into an argument about which bus to take back. He got on, she didn't. Oh, and those two six-packs they'd bought? She'd drank most of it, according to him. The rest you know about.

Well, I then tried phoning her again. She didn't pick up. I tried ringing her five or six times and she refused to answer. So then I phoned the police. I told them what I knew, where I believed her to be, and gave a description of her. They took everything down and told me they'd do a patrol of the area to see if they could find her. After my conversation with the cops was over, I tried phoning her again multiple times, again to no effect.

Twenty minutes later, give-or-take, the police phoned me back. They'd picked her up. Dressed all in black, she'd almost been hit by a car, but luckily hadn't been. Angry and drunk, she caused a scene. So the police brought her back to the station and tossed her in the drunk tank for the night. My mother was informed about what had gone down as well.

I phoned my mother at the hospital to see how she was doing. She was upset, as can be expected. I told her to relax and rest. Then we said goodnight.

After my sister got into the accident which totalled her jeep some weeks back, we had made a decision together that she'd stop drinking. She did stop — for a week. Then she started drinking again, but only beer. Seems even that is too much for her to handle.
 

Masirimso17

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Warbler said:
I am depressed.

Sorry to hear that Warbler. We’re here for you. Do you have a therapist or someone like that to talk to?

Is there any particular reason for it? You don’t have to elaborate of course, but maybe it’ll feel better if you vent?

If not and it’s a mix of multiple things, then maybe you can do something creative/fun to take your mind off it? Or meditation could help.
 

Warbler

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it is mix of things.

1.  I feel as if I have lost all my friends.  I have lost multiple friends via their fault and mine and multiple other reasons.   I feel very lonely.  

2.  The world seems like it is tearing itself apart.  Trump, N. Korea, Iran, Russia, terrorism, the ever worsening political divide in my country, etc.  Now we have the coronavirus.

3.  My national/worldwide governing body of my church, the United Methodist Church is tearing itself apart over LGBTQ  issues.  (you may have seen something in the news about that.)  There is probably going to be some sort of nationwide/worldwide split.    My local church that I have been going to all my life is going to have to decide where we stand and no matter what a good proportion of my church is going to be unhappy and the mass exodus from my local church seems inevitable and I know people on both sides, some of them all my life.  I am not sure my local church can survive such a division.   We are already a mere shadow of what we were when I was a kid.

 4. the world keeps changing away from I what I knew and loved into one that depresses me more and more.     

Everything is a mess.   I don't know what to do, I probably do need to speak to a therapist.  But money is an issue for right now.

oh well.
 

Possessed

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From what I understand, in reality the Corona virus is both less common AND less deadly than the regular flu, so that's at least one thing you shouldn't let public hysterics fool you into worrying about.
 

Gaith

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Possessed said:
From what I understand, in reality the Corona virus is both less common AND less deadly than the regular flu

Nope. LiveScience.com:
 
The death rate from seasonal flu is typically around 0.1% in the U.S., according to The New York Times
The death rate for COVID-19 appears to be higher than that of the flu. 
In the study published Feb. 18 in the China CDC Weekly, researchers found a death rate from COVID-19 to be around 2.3% in mainland China. Another study of about 1,100 hospitalized patients in China, published Feb. 28 in the New England Journal of Medicine, found that the overall death rate was slightly lower, around 1.4%.

In other words, the coronavirus is probably at least fifteen times deadlier than the flu. And sure, it's less common... because it just arrived on the scene. Given the speed with which it's spreading, that's not a terribly useful observation. What the flu and coronavirus do have in common, however, is they're very rarely deadly to those under 50 and in good health.

I'm not trying to promote depression here, but there's a huge swath of information, good and bad, online. Let's all do our best to promote the accurate bits. ;)
 

Possessed

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Okay. I've seen information that conflicts with that, but I can't remember where and I don't care enough to look for it. You win I lose. Congrats.
 

Masirimso17

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Warbler said:
it is mix of things.

1.  I feel as if I have lost all my friends.  I have lost multiple friends via their fault and mine and multiple other reasons.   I feel very lonely.  

2.  The world seems like it is tearing itself apart.  Trump, N. Korea, Iran, Russia, terrorism, the ever worsening political divide in my country, etc.  Now we have the coronavirus.

3.  My national/worldwide governing body of my church, the United Methodist Church is tearing itself apart over LGBTQ  issues.  (you may have seen something in the news about that.)  There is probably going to be some sort of nationwide/worldwide split.    My local church that I have been going to all my life is going to have to decide where we stand and no matter what a good proportion of my church is going to be unhappy and the mass exodus from my local church seems inevitable and I know people on both sides, some of them all my life.  I am not sure my local church can survive such a division.   We are already a mere shadow of what we were when I was a kid.

 4. the world keeps changing away from I what I knew and loved into one that depresses me more and more.     

Everything is a mess.   I don't know what to do, I probably do need to speak to a therapist.  But money is an issue for right now.

oh well.

Personally I would recommend not to worry yourself about things out of your control beyond being reasonably prepared, going to vote for what you believe in, donating/supporting charities etc.

I don’t know much about your church situation but I think as long as respect and love for each other is kept between your loved ones even after the split, it should be fine. Love, compassion, and respect at all times despite any differences—isn’t that what all faiths teach anyway, whether it is different denominations of Christianity or other religions? I know it’s probably not that simple so I apologize but I hope my thoughts will be able to help you.

I’m sorry that you are losing your friends. I can certainly relate to that. But any friends we may lose is still another lesson for the future as with any experience in life. I’m quite sure as life goes on you will meet more people and bond with them while holding the things you’ve learned with your older friends.

Life is change, and the only thing that doesn’t change is change itself. And life WILL throw you bad things, God will give you hardships, so that you can learn to overcome them. As humans we have to be strong and steady despite these hardships. Hold on to the things and the people you love.

Do you have any friends or anyone in your family you can talk to about this? Someone you love and trust? It doesn’t have to be a therapist. You could look for guidance. Maybe a priest you can talk to about these things you’re feeling?
 

DigModiFicaTion

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Just a gentle general reminder that we do have a strict no politics policy for the forums. This gentle reminder is simply to remind us all as it looks like there are some topics that have come up that could easily take the thread in that direction. Thank you to those who use this thread to support the emotional needs of others.
 

darth_ender

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I'm still your friend, Warbler. I hardly have any internet presence anymore but I still care about you, buddy!
 

Warbler

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Thanks Ender, I knew you were still my friend.  But I didn't know that you were member here.  Good know you are a member here.
 

TV's Frink

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Hope you feel better soon Warb.

Also hi there @"darth_ender"
 

darth_ender

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Warbler said:
Thanks Ender, I knew you were still my friend.  But I didn't know that you were member here.  Good know you are a member here.

Yeah, I've been a member here about as long as I've been a member at originaltrilogy.com.  I simply have been quieter here all these years.  Now, I'm pretty quiet at both places and everywhere else on the Net.  Better for my blood pressure!

I know I haven't been the best communicator in offering you support, but I hope and pray for your success and happiness!
 
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