• Most new users don't bother reading our rules. Here's the one that is ignored almost immediately upon signup: DO NOT ASK FOR FANEDIT LINKS PUBLICLY. First, read the FAQ. Seriously. What you want is there. You can also send a message to the editor. If that doesn't work THEN post in the Trade & Request forum. Anywhere else and it will be deleted and an infraction will be issued.
  • If this is your first time here please read our FAQ and Rules pages. They have some useful information that will get us all off on the right foot, especially our Own the Source rule. If you do not understand any of these rules send a private message to one of our staff for further details.
  • Please read our Rules & Guidelines

The Batman (edited by krausfadr)

krausfadr

Well-known member
Donor
Faneditor
Messages
686
Reaction score
1,011
Trophy Points
118
full



Intent:

I loved and hated The Batman. Hidden within is a great movie, but for me it was sabotaged by painful expository dialogue and unfocused, poor storytelling. It’s uninspired ending was an obvious studio add-on, shoehorned in and just plain crappy. Too many cooks spoiled what could have been a great homage to the excellent film, Seven.

Also, the writer/director was like a premature ejaculator, spilling everything way too soon without appreciating the superior pacing and storytelling of the films he was trying to emulate.

Gordon, more than any other character, was marred by turning him into a walking, talking expository repository. He vomited up some real verbal garbage in most of his scenes.

The intent of this edit is to reshape it into a cohesive, satisfying journey with a focused storyline and new ending, that still has room to breathe.

Original length 2h 56m

Edited length 2h 2m

***** SPOILERS BELOW *****

Major Scene Cuts:
⦁ Cut the Riddler scenes from the beginning including the Mayor’s murder
⦁ Cut rataalada content including interrogating the Penguin about the rat
⦁ Cut flooding the city / shooting bystanders storyline (and replaced with a new ending)
⦁ Cut Batman and Catwoman riding motorcycles together

Major Changes:
⦁ New Batman character arc: he goes from being apathetic in the shadows/underground to a vengeful crime fighter stepping into the spotlight. Ironically, the change in Batman comes from the Riddler using extreme, unjust means to fight injustice, steps which Batman himself is not willing to take.
⦁ The Riddler is not a genius mastermind
⦁ Restructured and reworked the introduction, focusing on a rampant crime theme, rather than on the Riddler or the election
⦁ In the vein of Seven (which this film liberally borrows from) the murder of the mayor is no longer shown
⦁ Restructured to remove the studio tacked-on flood/election/mass shooting ending and replace it with Batman getting tough on street crime and hunting down the Penguin in that epic car chase
⦁ No more rataalada / el rata / stool pigeon bullshit. There’s still a rat but the word rat itself doesn’t become a clue to hyper focus on.
⦁ The Penguin is portrayed as a stronger mafioso and isn’t repeatedly made to look like a buffoon.
⦁ Removed the bad Bat-narration like “I am the shadows, I have to push myself” while keeping the effective narration
⦁ The enthusiastic young woman running for mayor is removed entirely (other than on a quick tv spot with her, showing there’s an election)
⦁ Gordon and other characters no longer give large expository information dumps
⦁ Removed overuse of expository setups for everything about to happen so now there can be surprises
⦁ Falcone knows Selina is his daughter
⦁ Tightened up and reframed the wingsuit flight scene so it looks cool instead of laughable
⦁ Tightened the fight sequence at the club to remove awkward looking choreography
⦁ The corruption of Thomas Wayne is no longer completely reversed

Change List (subject to change):
1. Added disclaimer and logos.
2. Added intro text setting the scene of a crime-ridden Gotham Halloween.
3. Removed the Riddler spying and then killing the mayor.
4. Moved Batman fighting the subway thugs to much later on.
5. Added police scanner chatter as Bruce walks through the crowds in the rain, this is the new intro.
6. Added rain SFX.
7. VFX to add black around Bruce’s eyes as he walks in the crowd (to match up with restructured scenes).
8. Trimmed and reworked Batman’s opening narration. He now says that the city is not worth saving. He doesn’t talk about things like being the shadows or whining like a gen-Z about pushing himself.
9. Restructured so in the next scene Bruce rides the motorcycle toward home as the police scanner has chatter about multiple casualties during the Halloween celebration.
10. As Bruce rides the motorcycle, VFX to change the election poster into an anti gun/drug sign that has been vandalized.
11. Bruce arrives in the Batcave. Instead of seeing recorded footage of him tazing the thug, we see footage of a scared child looking up at him. This is now the first time we see this boy.
12. This segways into Batman being moody in the rain and then investigating the crime scene with Gordon. A dead body is revealed to be the mayor. We learn that the boy from the video footage is the mayor’s son.
13. Lowered the pitch of the Commissioner’s chipmunk voice.
14. Trimmed Alfred’s Batcave conversation with Bruce, who doesn’t act like a baby and storm off.
15. Made Bruce’s body/bare back appear wider here and other scenes.
16. As Alfred and Bruce solve the cypher we don’t wait for every last dot to be removed from the word DRIVE which we can clearly see.
17. Trimmed Gordon’s lines so he doesn’t talk about not knowing Batman’s identity. Unnatural expository. Various other Gordon expository removed throughout.
18. Less expository about the Penguin while looking at the photo.
19. Toned down Gordon’s repetitive “oh shits” when the drive emails the photos to the press.
20. Tighter shot to make Batman appear larger as he marches into the club.
21. Trimmed some awkward looking one-take choreography from the club brawl with Batman and the Penguin’s goons.
22. Trimmed the conversation with Batman and the Penguin. He doesn’t call him Mr. Vengeance.
23. Trimmed the conversation with Batman and Gordon as they examine the torture device. Less expository dump, and Batman doesn’t answer Gordon’s “you make it sound like he had it coming” line.
24. Trimmed dialogue from Selina when she puts in the contacts. She doesn’t roll her eyes at the earpiece.
25. The Riddler is not breathing and watching Selina leave the club.
26. Recut and trimmed the car interior attack on the District Attorney to make it more impactful. We don’t see the bomb device being clamped to his neck.
27. Slightly lowered Batman’s voice in the rooftop conversation with Gordon. Trimmed some of Gordon’s expository lines.
28. Cut Alfred coming in as Bruce is obsessively watching footage he took of Selina. The whole flying rat clue plot line is cut so that conversation would be irrelevant.
29. Tightened / trimmed some of Falcone’s lines to Bruce outside the funeral.
30. Cut the female mayoral candidate completely. She doesn’t chat with Bruce, derailing the scene, before the funeral starts.
31. VFX to add additional text, FROM LITTLE ANNIE, to the Riddler’s TO THE BATMAN envelope taped to the District Attorney’s chest. Bruce immediately solves this riddle, realizing he’s an orphan.
32. Changed some dialogue from the Riddler face-timing on the District Attorney’s cell phone so he mentions being an orphan.
33. In the interrogation room with all the cops and Batman, lowered another cop’s pip squeak voice.
34. After Gordon’s “punch me in the face” line, cut the rest of his painful description of what Batman should do to escape. Take my key, go upstairs, eat a sandwich, wipe your mouth.
35. When the holding cell is cleared Gordon and Batman now whisper about the Riddler being an orphan and checking the burned out Gotham Orphanage. This eliminates the need for the ridiculous interrogation of the Penguin.
36. Reworked and reframed the flight suit escape scene so it looks cool instead of laughable.
37. Moved the awesome car chase to the end. The Penguin is no longer interrogated only to give a weird Spanish lesson (all the rataalada BS removed).
38. Trimmed a lot of Selina’s recounted childhood backstory as well as some of Batman’s dialogue before the kiss. Now the conversation flows naturally and gives us all the essential facts.
39. Re-scored the scene where Bruce ruminates over childhood photos in his parents’ bedroom.
40. Trimmed dialogue between Bruce and a hospitalized Alfred. Reduces the backtracking of the Thomas Wayne corruption. And eases the forced attempt to pull at the audiences’ heartstrings.
41. Trimmed dialogue on the rooftop with Selina, Bruce, Gordon, and the corrupt cop to lessen the expository dump and improve the acting.
42. In Selina’s showdown with Falcone, he already knows she’s his daughter. She just reveals her suspicion he murdered her mother.
43. As Selina and Falcone struggle, removed the face scratching to cut some very odd looking acting from Selina.
44. Trimmed the amount of time Batman and Selina struggle for the gun so it doesn’t look corny and drawn out.
45. During Falcone’s arrest, the Penguin doesn’t pull a gun. Penguin isn’t an idiot (plus I needed him not to be in jail for the next scenes).
46. In the coffee shop, ended the scene with the Riddler’s face, removing the coffee with question mark froth. Yes we know this must be the Penguin.
47. As police search the Riddler’s residence, removed references to his online fans.
48. The scene where the Riddler talks to Batman in Arkham ends earlier as the Riddler screams about this not going as planned.
49. Moved and used the liquor store robbery scene with newly added television news SFX to show crime getting worse, even with Falcone dead.
50. Removed the whole bomb plot and Riddler minions shooting civilians.
51. Moved Batman kicking the subway gangs ass and the car chase with Penguin here, near the end.
52. Trimmed the subway gang sequences to make it an epilogue rather than an introduction.
53. Reduced Batman’s footsteps to reach the gang.
54. Cut Catwoman out of the scene of Batman and Gordon surveillance of the Penguin’s drug activities.
55. Reduced the amount of time Penguin stares at the Batmobile.
56. Replaced the Penguin’s vengeance line with I’ll spray your ass as he shoots his automatic.
57. Reduced the length of the Penguin’s celebratory gloating when he thinks Batman was killed in the explosion.
58. Cut before Batman bends down into the Penguin’s crashed car.
59. This segway’s into the Joker scene with the Riddler. VFX to change the news headline from Batman saving people to instead making vigilante arrests.
60. Reframed so we don’t see quite as much of the Joker’s face.
61. No more goodbye and silly epic motorcycle ride-off between Batman and Selina.
62. New music for end credits.
63. Removed the rataalada.com easter egg from end credits.
64. Changed end WB logo from blue to red.
 
Last edited:

SIUse

Well-known member
Faneditor
Messages
161
Reaction score
71
Trophy Points
43
Yet another great idea from you. Even though i liked the riddler story including the mass flooding, the third act was a mess. So i‘m very keen to see how your unique story plays out.

Regarding the car chase: Do you intend to rearrange Penguin thinking he killed batman in the explosion and batman using the ramp? I thought it was a little weird that batman uses the ramp then we cut to gloating penguin and after 3-5 seconds the batmobile appears.
Also do you intend to trim the rollover of penguins car?
 

Gieferg

Well-known member
Faneditor
Messages
1,489
Reaction score
1,008
Trophy Points
133
Sounds like it may make this trainwreck of a movie watchable at least.
 

krausfadr

Well-known member
Donor
Faneditor
Messages
686
Reaction score
1,011
Trophy Points
118
Also do you intend to trim the rollover of penguins car?
I liked the Penguin’s gloating and then getting slammed and wrecked. So I did leave it. Just reduced the amount of time gloating a little.
 

SIUse

Well-known member
Faneditor
Messages
161
Reaction score
71
Trophy Points
43
I liked the Penguin’s gloating and then getting slammed and wrecked. So I did leave it. Just reduced the amount of time gloating a little.
Ah alright, i just thought the rollover is too extreme, 2 times would‘ve been sufficient. Especially if you take the flat demolition of the car into account.
 

krausfadr

Well-known member
Donor
Faneditor
Messages
686
Reaction score
1,011
Trophy Points
118
I noticed other editors scaled back the car flips. That didn’t jump out to me as an issue, personally. I tried to keep as light a touch as possible given that I’ve removed some long scenes (the bombings/flood/incels) and trimmed out a lot of expository.

The Penguin’s got a lot of padding so he survived. 😆
 

krausfadr

Well-known member
Donor
Faneditor
Messages
686
Reaction score
1,011
Trophy Points
118
I didn’t find the deleted scene between Penguin and Selina to be necessary or beneficial because:

1. the scene where Penguin disses Falcone as he is arrested feels maybe a little unexpected but very believable and is a better version of the deleted scene
2 adding it in would just give too much non-subtle foreshadowing in my opinion and I removed these types of little hints: like Gordon muttering she’ll [Selina] never make it out of there [Falcone’s lair] alive.
 

asterixsmeagol

Well-known member
Donor
Faneditor
Messages
2,012
Reaction score
924
Trophy Points
128
I love all of these ideas except maybe the laughable flight. I actually liked that bit; he just doesn't have all of the kinks worked out in his tech yet. But I understand why it didn't work for you.
 

figgityfrank

New member
Messages
1
Reaction score
0
Trophy Points
1
Hi has this been finished? I've been dying to watch a shorter version of this movie.
 

thricegreat

New member
Messages
4
Reaction score
1
Trophy Points
3
i'm confused. is the scene with Batman being moody in the rain and then investigating the crime scene (dead body) with Gordon from that same night we see him riding home? but just hours prior?
 

krausfadr

Well-known member
Donor
Faneditor
Messages
686
Reaction score
1,011
Trophy Points
118
i'm confused. is the scene with Batman being moody in the rain and then investigating the crime scene (dead body) with Gordon from that same night we see him riding home? but just hours prior?
Since we see Bruce watching a video with a scared kid in it (the mayor's son). And then subsequently we see the same scene but in person-- yes it's definitely non-linear.
 

krausfadr

Well-known member
Donor
Faneditor
Messages
686
Reaction score
1,011
Trophy Points
118
Last alternate cover #2... Edit: kinda looks like he got hit by a truck

full
 
Last edited:
Top Bottom