Friends, fan editors, countrymen, lend me your ears... For I have come not to praise The Avengers, but to bury it.
Kidding! The Avengers is, of course, not terrible. But, it's not very good, either. Sure, it's skillfully made and entertaining... but it's also got some big problems. Since its merits are more obvious (i.e., it doesn't suck), I'll concentrate on the flaws.
- The opening sequence is a shambles: the whole SHIELD compound scene has absolutely not atmosphere, sense of dread, or anything. It's just a super-fast mish-mash in a dark lab, and when it implodes, presumably killing hundreds, nobody seems the least bit bothered, far less grieved.
- Cobie Smulders is a total blank, a female Coulson, but without any of his charm. I didn't buy her as a fast-driving badass for a moment; typecast as she is, this role cried out for a Michelle Rodriguez type, not another blandly-attrative (not too pretty, 'cause that'd be distracting) Shape Magazine cover girl.
- Speaking of which, way to put ScarJo in a skintight suit the whole movie, and not give her a single sexy moment. I know Whedon's all about feminism and stuff, but if you hire ScarJo, I'd like just a little sexy, please.
- Wait, since when does Banner know who Fury and SHIELD are? And will he ever be reunited with Betty? I frickin' love The Incredible Hulk, and don't care if it underperformed; I want resolution for its characters, dammit!
- Since so many are gushing over Ruffalo, allow me to dissent. I'm actually a big Ruffalo fan, and he gives a good performance, but I miss the perpetually haunted look in Norton's eyes. So, okay, it seems that Banner has come to terms with his curse, though he still hasn't embraced it (not at the start, anyhow). But can he still never have safe sex? Can he never have a family? Does that bother him at all, or is he totally at peace playing interntional doctor-monk? Anyone?
- I wanted a lot more of Cap adjusting to the 2010s. I guess we'll get plenty of that in Cap 2; I just hope the events of this movie don't preclude too much of it. Also, in Cap 1, everyone in the country knew his name; he was a big star. Does society know he's back? Do they still embrace him? And, wait, he's Christian? That would make sense, of course, but it comes out of nowhere, and then is completely forgotten.
- The 9/11-ish footage of candlelit vigils and memorial walls at the end was nauseating. Either spend some time on the aftermath of city-wrecking devastation, or ignore it entirely; to just reference it in passing is the worst kind of juvenile smugness.
- Just what is SHIELD, anyway? Prior to this movie, I assumed it was an American outfit reporting to the American president, and when this movie went into production, I wished that they'd film a cameo with Fury and President Obama... the real Obama, that is. But now it's some sort of international organization, with the authority to authorize nuclear strikes on American soil? What the hell?
- Look, I'm as much of a peacenik as the next guy, but I find Stark's comparing SHIELD's weapons-related research with the Cold War to be absurd. There, we knew who we were dealing with (fellow humans, and WWII allies), and what (nukes, which we developed first). Here, the heroes (especially Cap) have no idea what evil lurks beyond our world, and what weapons it wields. So, damn right, defensive research is warranted.
- Hey, look, a single nuke, landing on the enemy exterior can single-handedly disable the Trade Federation starship, and deactivate the battle droids! The Gungan army is saved, huzzah! ... Uh, yeah.
In short, I'm worried that this series (which I do love) is becoming too epic, too grandiose, and too detached from any reality whatsoever. Smallville, for instance, started out great, but eventually the sky-high unacknowledged death toll in a single small town became both ludicrous and kind of twisted, and too much otherworldly mumbo-jumbo (from the Krypton-portal caves, and multiple alien villains and prophecies and the like) drowned out any sense of plausible human drama. I'm glad that we'll be getting IM3 and CA2 and even Thor 2 before another Avengers; maybe that'll allow things to cool down a bit before the next big bad teased at this movie's end starts turning everything all the way up to 11 again. Because these characters are just too interesting to be squandered on Transformers-style punch-ups like this.
Iron Man: A-
The Incredible Hulk: A-
Iron Man 2: A-
Thor: B
Captain America: B+
The Avengers: B