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Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace - Streamlined

Phase3

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Hello all,

I'm in the process of completing my edits of the Star Wars prequel trilogy; I have trimmed many scenes to improve pacing, removed as much exposition as possible, and altered dialogue in some places.



A quick overview of what I'm doing:
New opening crawls for each film.

Opening titles: I’ve used the 1980 versions of the 20th Century Fox opening titles, the “A long time ago..” text and the green Lucasfilm title, all sourced from Harmy’s “de-specialised” version of The Empire Strikes Back. I wanted all six episodes to have the opening titles from the original cinema versions from 1977, 1980 and 1983.

Some colour correction where appropriate, in particular to remove the rose pink tint found in The Phantom Menace, and to bring out the more natural, beautiful colours of the forest scenes.

I am aiming to have these films match the tone, pacing and storytelling style of the original (pre-Special Edition) Star Wars Trilogy. I want to edit these films so that the prequels wouldn’t give away too much information that you would later find out in Episodes 4, 5 and 6, so that these edits could be viewed prior to watching the original trilogy if desired. For example, in my edit of episode 3 there is no hint that Palpatine is a Sith Lord until he reveals his true self in Revenge of the Sith, and the name “Darth Vader” isn’t used in my edit, thereby retaining the surprise revelation in The Empire Strikes Back.

I’ve sought to remove the poorly-timed, and poorly-executed attempts at humour. So, there is no slapstick humour, no poo or fart jokes, and no silly conversations from Battle Droids or Super Battle Droids.

I’ve re-recorded and replaced the dialogue for the Gungans as well as the Neimoidians. Replacing the dialogue allowed me to create new subtitles for them, which in turn granted me the opportunity to alter and hopefully improve their characters.
I also added in new subtitles for these characters, with alternate dialogue to what was in the films, and did my best to improve the flow of the story, and also improve the characters too.

A thank you list:
Dazman at the Original Trilogy Forum. He has kindly let me use some of his edit: one shot of Threepio removed from the background, where Anakin has started up his podracer. Also: the scene of the Queen in the red gown on Naboo - the power cable has now been removed.
For any deleted scenes re-inserted into each film, I used AI-upscaled HD scenes, kindly provided by Original Trilogy Forum member bryantmh.
@DigModiFicaTion and jackpumpkinhead for creating templates in the Blender software, to create the opening crawls!

A list of the major alterations, cuts, trims and additions:

  1. Jar Jar Binks: I’ve removed the childish antics, and instead tried to make him more of an adult, and someone who isn’t a useless, bumbling clown. I did my best to actually make him an interesting and useful background character.
  2. The Neimoidians: As with Jar Jar, using subtitles allowed me to make these characters seem far more sinister and ruthless, instead of the pathetic characters we originally got.
  3. Anakin Skywalker: no more “whoops!”, “yippee!”, or other such rubbish, which all seemed out of place in this film. I tried to edit it in a way that made him a far less silly young boy.
  4. Queen Amidala: slightly pitched her voice up, to reduce the deep voice in the original film.
  5. Trade Federation starship: slightly trimmed the explosion of the rebel cruiser, to improve the pacing.
  6. Naboo hangar: removed Panaka saying that there were too many Battle Droids, and the reply from Qui-Gon that it wouldn’t be a problem. That line killed any potential interest in a short skirmish between the Jedi and the Battle Droids.
  7. Watto: new subtitles, with alternate text to what was in the original film.
  8. Watto: removed his line about being a Toydarian.
  9. Jedi: no prophecy, no “chosen one”, no midichlorians.
  10. Ric Olie: his name should really be changed to “Captain Obvious”, as he spewed out an enormous amount of exposition. I cut as much of his nonsense as possible.
  11. Podrace: this has been greatly reduced in length, and some scenes have been reorganised. The podrace looks amazing, however it does take up a large amount of time, and in some parts is a bit slow (there are even some duplicated shots during the race). I relocated some scenes, and have inserted new audio of crowds cheering, as well as music from the TPM soundtrack. I have edited it to hopefully be a much more interesting and fast-paced sequence now. Anakin’s podracer doesn’t stall at the start, and there is no “spinning out of control” sequence either, plus no commentary from the two-headed race announcer.
  12. Scenes of other racers having engine trouble, Tusken Raiders, droids collecting damaged parts, Jabba The Hutt, and the food vendor have all been cut. No final shot of Sebulba sliding to a stop; his fate is left unknown. Also cut is Shmi saying to Anakin that he has given hope to people; winning a sporting event is hardly going to inspire the citizens of Tatooine!
  13. I’ve also reduced the excessive amount of close-ups of Anakin, plus made several trims so that he fixes his podracer much more quickly. The last moments of the race have been trimmed to improve the pacing, plus shots right near the end of Kitster, the crowd, Qui-Gon et al have been relocated.
  14. No Jabba The Hutt or other galaxy-shrinking cameos.
  15. No “pathetic lifeform” remark from Obi-Wan. In my edit, Jar Jar is no longer useless or pathetic!
  16. Deleted scene added back in: Sith probe droid following Qui-Gon and Anakin.
  17. Partial deleted scene added back in: the Jedi and Jar Jar walking up some stairs in the city of Theed, simply to establish that they have reached the city.
  18. Removed Anakin saying “Qui-Gon sir! Wait, I’m tired!”, as well as Qui-Gon’s line “Tell them to take off!”, since Anakin doesn’t do it.
  19. Reinserted the shot of Palpatine’s office building from the TPM cinema (theatrical) version.
  20. Inserted the shot of the spinning N-1 Starfighter from the TPM trailer.
  21. Battle Droids: no more “Roger Roger!” or “D’oh!”.
  22. No “ascension guns” sequence. I’ve cut it to appear that Padme & the Naboo Soldier’s search for the Neimoidians all takes place on the one level of the palace.
  23. Since I’ve tried to make Jar Jar a more useful character, the first encounter with him is brief; he informs the Jedi of the city of Theed, which makes the trip to Otoh Gunga sequence redundant, so that has been deleted. I’ve removed him calling the 14-year old Queen “pretty hot” in the air taxi sequence on Coruscant, plus also removed his snoring during the trip to Coruscant.
  24. See-Threepio: he isn’t in my edit of Episode 1. Anakin isn’t “The Maker” in my edits; Threepio’s inclusion in this film served little purpose, and seemed to be nothing more than a way to add more exposition. An example of this can be found during the podrace sequence, where Threepio mentions how many laps there are to go, as if the audience is made up of nothing but idiots who constantly need to be told what’s going on. For a few scenes, Threepio has been removed from the background, and his dialogue has been removed too.
  25. Senate: removed any reference to the taxation of trade routes, to comply with the revised opening crawl of the film.
  26. Removed the tiny hint of a smile from Palpatine after Queen Amidala decides to go back to Naboo.
  27. Removed the line "This may be the clue we need to unravel the mystery of the Sith."
  28. End sequences have been altered and / or restructured:
  29. Naboo: restructured and relocated some scenes, for example when the Naboo starfighters are about to battle the Vulture Droid fighters, it originally went: shot of N-1 starfighters > shot of Vulture Droid fighters > Pilot saying “fighters straight ahead”. The audience could already see that fighters were approaching, so this line is a bit out of place. I have reorganised it to: shot of N-1 starfighters > Pilot saying “fighters straight ahead” > shot of Vulture Droid fighters.
  30. Slightly restructured the beginning of the Gungans seeing the Battle Droids. Originally it went from: Gungans stop > raise shields > Trade Federation tanks come over the hill. I've changed it to: Gungans stop > Trade Federation tanks come over the hill > the Gungans raise their shields.
  31. Going to the hangar: trimmed the conversation between Qui-Gon and Anakin, plus reorganised some scenes to follow the Jedi into the hangar, and show their movements in sequential order instead of being interspersed with other footage.
  32. Removed multiple shots of Anakin looking at the battles around him; these shots seem to only be there to direct the viewer's attention to a different area.
  33. Anakin getting into and starting up the starfighter: I followed a lot of Hal 9000’s sequencing, as that matched what I wanted to do!
  34. Anakin flies the starfighter into battle of his own accord (no autopilot).
  35. The Jedi and Sith duel mostly plays out in full.
  36. I restructured the sequencing of the end battles, using some of the ideas from Hal 9000’s edit, plus some extra changes I added in there too.
  37. Qui-Gon dies after Maul kills him. There is no request from him to Obi-Wan to train Anakin.
  38. Removed the blood spray when Obi-Wan cuts Darth Maul in half. There was no blood spray when other characters in the prequels or original trilogy were cut by a Lightsaber.
  39. No line from Palpatine stating that he would watch Anakin’s career. It’s best to hide his ideas and motivations, to retain some kind of mystery about his real intent and identity. He is the phantom menace in this story, after all!
  40. The conversation between Yoda and Obi-Wan prior to Qui-Gon’s funeral has been trimmed.
  41. The funeral scene is cut differently; there is no final shot of Palpatine, as it is unnecessary to draw attention to that character. The original final shot of him makes it far too obvious that he has something to do with what has transpired during the course of the movie.
  42. There is no end celebration; after Mace and Yoda speak, there is a final shot of Qui-Gon on the funeral pyre, then there is an iris-wipe to the end credits, thus creating a far more sombre finish to the movie.
 
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lapis molari

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Welcome to FE! :)

With so many Star Wars edits available, you have chosen quite a challenge: your edits will be compared against the originals and the existing fanedits. To make comparison easier for othe FE members, it's helpful if you post some videoclips that show how your edits are different.
 

Eyepainter

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From one prequel faneditor to another, I wish you the best with this! Judging from skimming the cut list, it sounds like you've created some interesting choices!
 

Phase3

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Welcome to FE! :)

With so many Star Wars edits available, you have chosen quite a challenge: your edits will be compared against the originals and the existing fanedits. To make comparison easier for othe FE members, it's helpful if you post some videoclips that show how your edits are different.

Hey mate,

Thanks for the warm welcome! :)
I honestly hadn't thought of posting clips before haha! That's a great idea; could you please tell me which part of the forum would be best to post those kinds of clips in? I just want to make sure that I post them in the right area!

Cheers,
 

Phase3

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From one prequel faneditor to another, I wish you the best with this! Judging from skimming the cut list, it sounds like you've created some interesting choices!

Thanks mate! I appreciate your kind words; I hope that your edits have gone well too! I'll send you a PM -- I'd love to hear about what you've done with your edits! :)

Cheers,
 

lapis molari

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@Phase3 , add videoclips of your progress right here in your thread.
 

Phase3

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@Phase3 , add videoclips of your progress right here in your thread.

Ahh okay! That sounds good to me. I'll go through what I've done, and make some clips -- maybe a "before and after" type of video, showing the original, and what I've done.

Cheers!
 

Phase3

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Some updates:
Originally I was going to use (with permission) a small amount of the "Anti-cheese" edit's audio for the Neimoidians and Gungans. Upon checking the quality of the audio today, there was a noticeable difference in the sound quality between that audio, and the audio from the Blu-ray release. So much so that I don't think that I can use it.

So, I've decided to re-record all of the Neimoidian and Gungan dialogue myself.

Today I checked the quality of the video and audio I've edited thus far, and some of the audio wasn't all that great, so I will be making further adjustments in order to improve the edit.

Also upon reviewing the edit today, I noticed two more things to fix:
The visible power cable in the background when the Queen is wearing the red gown with orange globes on Naboo.
The location of the braid on Obi-Wan -- there's a scene on Tatooine where the braid is on the left side, instead of the right side.
I'll see if I can get these things altered for my edit!

As per the suggestion from @lapis molari I have put together a brief video showing a few changes I've made for this "TPM Streamlined Edition". As what I've done is just a sample video, there are no transition wipes, or pauses in-between the clips. It's only a short video, but hopefully it will give some idea of what I'm doing. Once different VFX shots have been completed, I'll make a much longer video.

I wanted to post a link to the video, however I got the message "New users are not allowed to post links. You must be an active user to do that."

Hopefully in the future I can post a link!

Cheers,
 

Phase3

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Thank you so much to Art, for doing this wonderful poster!!

Some updates:
I decided against using the extra footage of the Jedi & Sith duel from the DVD documentary. Even after upscaling, the quality wasn't very good, plus I don't want to do a "Special Edition" of the film --- I want to do a streamlined film!

The same goes for a shot of an N-1 starfighter being shot prior to spinning out of control. The footage of the ship being shot wasn't of a high-enough quality to use, however the shot of the ship spinning was good enough to use.

I am still re-recording dialogue for the Neimoidians and Gungans; subtitles have been finished, and the pitch of the Queen's voice has been altered.

Cheers,
 

Phase3

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Some small updates:

In some scenes where I'm recording new dialogue for the Neimoidians, I've found that there wasn't a clean dialogue-only audio channel to work with. This has resulted in removing the original audio, rebuilding the sound effects (including ambient background sound), music soundtrack, and recording new dialogue.

Also, with the insertion of the deleted scene of the Jedi arriving on Theed (walking up some stairs past a fountain), the original music didn't match up with the rest of the film. I've removed the audio tracks, inserted background ambient sound & sound effects, plus used a different piece of music from the TPM soundtrack, so that this footage & music will join up seamlessly with the original film.

For the scene with the Queen and handmaidens walking down the steps in Theed, the music is great, however I was always a bit puzzled as to why there was such cheerful, upbeat music, when the citizens of Theed are being put into prison camps....
I've used the different piece of music mentioned above for this scene, as it creates a more serious tone.
 

Phase3

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A few more updates!

I've completed all of the trims and cuts to the film.
I've finished re-recording dialogue for the Gungans and Niemoidians.
For many sequences, replacing dialogue has entailed rebuilding sound effects, ambient sounds and music.
Corrected Viceroy Gunray referring to a commander Battle Droid as a captain.
Removed the pink tint from the ground battle on Naboo.
Removed the pink tint from all scenes where the Queen, Captain Panaka et al are trying to reach the Viceroy.
Removed the blue tint for the space scenes / Trade Federation starship scenes.
Captain Panaka: no second instance of him saying “Wait!” when calling to Qui-Gon on Tatooine.
The final conversation between Shmi and Anakin has been trimmed, so there’s less conversation, and more of a focus on the emotional aspect of what is occurring.
Captain Tarpals: no introduction by him of the Queen (“Your Honour, Queen Amidala of the Naboo”), as she later introduces herself anyway. His dialogue has been re-recorded, with new subtitles.
Boss Nass is now referred to as being a Prime Minister.
No extra instance of Anakin saying “An angel?”.
Jar Jar Binks: entirely removed his juggling antics in Watto’s shop.
Slightly altered the sequencing of the Trade Federation tanks coming over the hill to confront the Gungan army.

The last few things left to do:
Remove Threepio from background scenes.
Since I've removed the scene of Padme cleaning Artoo, I'll remove Padme from the scene beforehand where she is seen behind Captain Panaka.
Remove the power cable going to the Queen's gown on Naboo.
Relocate Obi-Wan's braid continuity error on Tatooine.
 

Phase3

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Hello all,

Would there be anyone interested in taking a look at a portion of my Episode 1 edit?
My software tends to underperform when there is one large file, so I have split up the film into three sections. After each section is complete, I'll join them together into the one film.

I have finished the first section, and I was hoping to have someone take a look at it, and give some feedback on it. This first section runs for 34 minutes.

If you're interested in taking a look, please send me a PM!

Cheers!
 

ArtisDead

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This edit looks great! Love that you made Jar Jar and Anakin more likeable. Proceed to the finish line!
 

Phase3

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Thanks mate, much appreciated! I've got a handful of things to do, but should be done soon -- it's almost complete now!
 

Phase3

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I've finally been able to do a trailer for this fan edit; I had wanted to do it much sooner, however a hand injury has prevented me from doing very much on my computer!

Here is the trailer:

I'll also update the initial post with the trailer; this is the first time I've made a trailer, so I'd appreciate any constructive criticism and feedback.

The actual fan edit is complete, minus two transition wipes. These wipes aren't functioning properly, so I'm trying to get it fixed. I hope to have the fan edit completed this week.
 

Phase3

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Some extra changes:

Slightly restructured the beginning of the Gungans seeing the Battle Droids. Originally it went from:
Gungans stop > raise shields > Trade Federation tanks come over the hill.
I've changed it to:
Gungans stop > Trade Federation tanks come over the hill > the Gungans raise their shields.

Removed the blood spray when Obi-Wan cuts Darth Maul in half. There was no blood spray when other characters in the prequels or original trilogy were cut by a Lightsaber.

The edit is finished, and I hope to submit it for review soon!
 

Phase3

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As yet I'm not able to post the cover art in the gallery section, so I'll post the cover art I did here!


Cheers!
 
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