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Star Wars: Attack of the Sith Menace

samspider3

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So here is something really new: A Star Wars Fan Edit. Ok, I know there have been a lot of fan edits about Star Wars, especially the prequels because most of you hate them. I would like to be honest, I have never believed the prequels are bad, just inferior to the originals. However, after watching them again before the screening of the Force Awakens, I felt the prequels had some good moments and stuff, but they drag a lot, have a lot of boring scenes like the politics (I also would like to emphasys i've never found boring the political subtext of the prequels, I just believe it is developed in a very uninteresting way) and romance is laughable. Even Revenge of the Sith, which I consider the best of the prequels and a solid film, suffers from this. I still like the films, but i found them weaker than the last time i watched them.

Anyways, after watching them again, I think there should be just ONE prequel to tell the Story of Anakin Skywalker. I Believe it can be told some of the political subtext without extending it to three movies, so this would be my attempt to catch the best of the three films. This fan edit would have a length of 2 hours and 30 minutes, approximately. The name of the Fan Edit is...well, i think we can all know why it's called like that. It's a combination of all prequels names.

These are some of the changes I would like to make:

The Phantom Menace Parts:

-Less to none of Jar Jar Binks, that's obvious.

-The story begins with Qui-Gon Jinn and company arriving Tatooine. I would like to simplify the story of the Phantom Menace by saying the Trade Federation has kidnapped Naboo and Queen Amidala tried to escape, but her ship was damaged.

-Tatooine scenes with young Anaking will be used to show how Padme and Anakin met, how Anakin develops a relationship with Qui-Gon, his relationship with his mother, how he built C-3PO because we see his skills and to see how Anakin has that feeling for helping people whenever he can. Many people hate young Anakin, but i Believe this is some good character development. Maybe the actor was too young for the charachter which is too mature in my opinion, but that's another story. Some things might be trimmed to improve pace.

-The Emperor will be shown talking to Darth Maul to introduce the characters for the first time.

-Pod Race scene will be left intact...at great part of it. Silly parts will be cut but almost everything will be in this fan edit because i think it's one of the best things of the film.

-I was just thinking about adding that deleted scene where Qui-Gon destroys Darth Maul's droid.

-After repairing the ship, the Queen and company go back to Naboo to confront the Trade Federation, but we will only see Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan vs Darth Maul/Padme and Panaka vs Trade Federation in Palace. No Gungan and Space Battle.

-We see Palpatine greeting Amidala for her victory, and by doing this we see he has become chancellor, and he has interest in Anakin.

-After Qui-Gon's Death, Yoda says Anakin will be Obi-Wan's Apprentice. We see the funeral of Qui-Gon, and after this, we see the scene where the council tests Anakin and discover he might be dangerous.

Attack of the Clones Parts:
Because I have not reached to this part yet, I can only say some of my intentions. We will see if they work out after this:
-Begin this part of the story with Obi-Wan arriving Kamino. His intention was to supervise the army of Clones. The Republic always wanted to make an Army. I could even edit these parts by stabilishing it was Qui-Gon's Idea. No Syfo Dyas confusing Bullshit.

-Show Palpatine scenes with Anakin to make grow their relationship. Also to show Palpatine's emergency powers scenes.

-To Focus mainly in Anakin as character and his relationship with Padme.

-Cut some of the douchey lines of Anakin, but to keep some others to make emphasys he is still a reckless young boy.

-To Focus on Anakin's Journey to the Dark Side after searching for his mother. His anger scenes are good to make emphasys on this.

-To show the rise of the Separatists, the Emperor being after all of this and the Death Star plans.

-To cut Jango Fett as one of the main points in the story. I know Boba Fett is very popular and stuff, but really, Boba Fett did not need an origin Story. The Clones main host is a mystery.

-No Yoda jumping and making stuff. I would like to think Yoda is so powerful with the Force, he does not need to use lightsabers. Also, no lightning by Count Dooku. We could say this is only the Emperor's signature.

-To end this part of the story with the scene where Yoda says the Clone Wars have begun.

Revenge of the Sith Parts:
-Cut some silly scenes.

-Cut Yoda and Emperor's fight sequence.

-Cut the scenes where the Emperor uses a lightsaber. We could say the Emperor is like Yoda, but in opposite. So powerful in the Dark Side, he doesn't use lightsabers.

-Trim Battle between Anakin and Obi-Wan. It's epic, it's fun and emotional, yes. But it is too damn long.

-To show Anakin's relationship with Palpatine to make grow his fall to the Dark Side.

Still, i'm figuring out what is the most important to use in this fan edit, especially from the third movie which i liked more.
 

TV's Frink

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I like the originality of your title. A bit cumbersome but definitely clever and unique.
 

TMBTM

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TV's Frink said:
I like the originality of your title. A bit cumbersome but definitely clever and unique.

And the goal is clear just by looking at the title. It's always a plus.
 

samspider3

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By far, I've reduced The Phantom Menace (first part of the fan edit) to 55 minutes, so this is basically all the changes:

-Different crawl titles explaining why Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan are going to Tatooine. I've not worked on that yet, but I will eventually. It will say the Trade Federation has taken control over Naboo and Queen Amidala has managed to escape with two Jedi Knights, but the ship has been damaged and they have to go to Tatooine to find the parts they need before they rescue Naboo from the Viceroy's hands.

-Queen Amidala's decoy and stuff has been cut. Padme as the Queen will join Qui-Gon searching for the parts they need for the ship.

-Jar Jar Binks silly comedy has been reduced as much as possible.

-Many scenes in Tatooine have been trimmed to have better pace, but keeping the relationship build between Anakin, his mother, Padme and Qui-Gon. This will lead to the Pod Race begin at 20 minutes.

-No midichlorians, of course.

-Darth Maul will be introduced as an independent Sith. We will not see Palpatine is his master because all the scenes where the Emperor is talking it reveals he is controling the Viceroy. I want to make it look the Viceroy is acting by his own will at first and then when we reach to the Attack of the Clones part reveal he is joining to Darth Sidious, who will be introduced in the the same second half of the fan edit.

-After Anakin is freed and winning the race, Qui-Gon and Company will go back to Naboo to rescue the planet. No Coruscant.

-Padme discusses her plan to get through the palace and get the viceroy. Then we will see Padme trying to reach the Viceroy and Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan fighting Darth Maul. Anakin and the pilots destroying the control ship and Gungans fighting have been cut.

-After Qui-Gon dies, we see the viceroy getting arrested and the recently elected Chancellor Palpatine arrives to congratulate Padme for her victory. Then we see Qui-Gon's Funeral, where Obi-Wan says to Anakin he will train him and Mace Windu implies there must be a master who trained Darth Maul.

-After the funeral, Anakin leaves Naboo with Padme. We see a scene where Anakin makes a gift for Padme and he says he misses his mother.

Then we go to the bridge to link Phantom Menace to Attack of the Clones. I would like to make a soft transition of that last scene with a scene of action: Where Anakin is chasing the assassin who attempted to kill Padme. This scene will let the watcher know Anakin is training, he is being teached by Obi-Wan and he is still a little bit clumsy. We will know it's Anakin when, before entering the club, Obi-Wan calls him by his name.
 

samspider3

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I have had some troubles to give the direction I wanted to the Attack of the Clones part, so I will have to keep Boba Fett's origin and the creation of the Clone Army, but I think the romance and Anakin's behaviour has been modified succesfully. I believe It will seem now like Anakin is still learning and he is still young, but without those moments where he believes he knows everything and is a douche.

The Forbbiden love stuff has been cut, and instead, I have edited everything to make it seem Anakin slept with Padme after they share their first kiss on Naboo. Of course, the romantic scenes have been cut except for: Anakin explaining Padme attachment is not allowed, but unconditional love is, because this gives Padme the hint he likes her. The scene where Anakin and Padme arrive Naboo and she says why she became a Senator, this gives some character development to Padme. The scene with the Waterfall and the picnic, because this tells the audience Anakin's ideals about politics and also let share some smiles between Padme and Anakin. Finally the kiss, where I had to cut the part where Anakin says the "i don't like sand" stuff and the bit where Padme regrets giving that kiss to Anakin. I have chosen these scenes because they make seem the relationship grow in a natural way, instead of forced as in the original.

After Obi-Wan fights Jango and informs the Council about the Clone Army, he follows Jango to Geonosis, but we won't see that journey and we won't know anything about Obi-Wan until the part where he reveals via hologram the Separatists and the Trade Federation have joined to fight the Republic. This is because I wanted to focus in Anakin's Journey to the Dark Side by finding his dead mother, and to make it look like a surprise Obi-Wan was captured by Count Dooku.

Finally, it would be very nice if you give me some feedback about this. This video shows the bridge between the stories of Phantom Menace to Attack of the Clones and Attack of the Clones to Revenge of the Sith. As you can see, Phantom Menace goes to Attack of the Clones in a smooth transition to the middle of the action, we don't know who is this young boy and we don't have idea what is going on, but it will be revealed that this young boy is Anakin, his master is Obi-Wan and they are chasing an assassin. Edited like this, it will let the audience know Anakin has grown, he is still under training, he has a lot to learn, and we are introduced to Obi-Wan Kenobi as an older master. Also, this gives some details about their relationship as friends.

Now, the bridge between Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith will take us from the moment Yoda says the Clone Wars has begun to the opening scene of Revenge of the Sith. I believe it looks very neat, natural and nice, and i'm very happy with my work here because I was imagining the transition like this since I started this project.

 

thecuddlyninja

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I like it. It is natural but I would suggest trying a longer crossfade. I think holding on Palpatine for a bit longer lets us process the moment. I also think that a longer transition would smooth the feeling of quiet contemplation going into action.
 

DigModiFicaTion

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I really like your idea of starting TPM on Tatooine. We miss a few lightsaber flurries, but the politics and Fun game are naturally are gone too. Will this diminish the mystery of the Sith though?

*edit*
I was just thinking about the Sith mystery question. It almost seems as though the Sith are after Anakin from the beginning in your edit. Without the Naboo scenes The intentions of the Sith are dubious at best. The crawl could even hint this. Perhaps indicating that the light and dark forces are drawn to Tatooine. IDK. It just would be intriguing to make the Sith plan involve Anakin instead of retrieving the queen.
 

baileym43

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for what it's worth, two cents maybe . . . i don't care for the Ep1/Ep2 transition. the crossfade doesn't work for me, even if it did linger on Palpatine for a bit longer. i'm a bigger fan of a fade to black to show a transition in time. a long hold on Palpatine, slow fade to black, hold for a couple beats, then BAM!! this mysterious kid running rough the crowd with the music loud and the street sounds bursting.
your Ep2/Ep3 transition is simply brilliant.
 

samspider3

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DigModiFicaTion said:
I really like your idea of starting TPM on Tatooine. We miss a few lightsaber flurries, but the politics and Fun game are naturally are gone too. Will this diminish the mystery of the Sith though?

*edit*
I was just thinking about the Sith mystery question. It almost seems as though the Sith are after Anakin from the beginning in your edit. Without the Naboo scenes The intentions of the Sith are dubious at best. The crawl could even hint this. Perhaps indicating that the light and dark forces are drawn to Tatooine. IDK. It just would be intriguing to make the Sith plan involve Anakin instead of retrieving the queen.

In fact, I've made some changes and I added the scene where Darth Maul is talking to the Emperor about going to Tatooine to make the queen sign the treaty, so this will make more sense in the story. Also, the mystery of the Sith stuff will be revealed in the opening Crawl. I've thought about something to sound like "with all the troubles happening in the Galaxy, little the Jedi know their worst dreams have come true: The Sith have return, and they have joined the separatists to overcome the Republic". Also, i would like to make it look the separatists were there since the beginning but never decided to act against the republic until the Trade Federation made their first move, with the help of Sidious from the shadows, of course.

for what it's worth, two cents maybe . . . i don't care for the Ep1/Ep2 transition. the crossfade doesn't work for me, even if it did linger on Palpatine for a bit longer. i'm a bigger fan of a fade to black to show a transition in time. a long hold on Palpatine, slow fade to black, hold for a couple beats, then BAM!! this mysterious kid running rough the crowd with the music loud and the street sounds bursting.
your Ep2/Ep3 transition is simply brilliant.

That is actually some very good idea. I was actually kind of trying to avoid the fade to black thing because in my opinion it is cheating when we talk about making transitions to the next film, and that is why i used crossfade, to make it look more natural, like it's the same film instead of "cutting to the next chapter". But in the way you tall it, it really sounds interesting. I will make some more experiments, thank you very much :D
 

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Here is the transition from Phantom Menace to Attack of the Clones. I'm more pleased with the result, if you ask me :D
 

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I still have to do some changes and cuts to ROTS parts, but here is the Final Battle. As many of you know, this is a very long battle, and unnecesarily stretched. It is supposed to be epic and emotional, but in my opinion it just gets ridiculous. I shortened almost everything in the scene to capture the feeling Lucas wanted. I kept that cool shot of Anakin and Obi-Wan fighting and the lava comes out from the background. Now, in my opinion, NOW it is epic and emotional. As you can see, the "Battle of the Heroes" bit was intact, this is because at this point, I actually begin to feel the tragedy of the moment.
 

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To not make the ending that long, I've used some clever editing here, from my point of view, of course. In this video you can see Darth Vader watching the Death Star being built, while, at the same time, we see Padmé's funeral with a final shot showing the necklace Anakin made for her and Darth Vader putting by side of the Emperor. Then we see the scenes where Obi-Wan is giving Luke to Owen Lars and Berú, while we watch Bail Organa and his wife with Leia. Also, some voice over to explain the situation from Yoda, Obi-Wan and Bail Organa. I'm pretty much happy with this edit :D


Btw, ignore C-3PO in this edit, i've decided to remove that scene and use it after the credits. I think it will be pretty awesome :D
 

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By far, these are all the changes I've made with Attack of the Clones parts:

-It opens with Anakin chasing the assassin who wanted to kill Padmé. This will let us know Anakin has grown up and is learning from his Master, Obi-Wan. Also, this gives some idea about how is their relationship as friends.

-Everything about Padmé trying to vote against creating an army has been cut entirely.

-The Elevator scene where Obi-Wan and Anakin are talking about previous missions and experiences will be used to make it look they will escort Padmé to the ship which will lead them to Naboo.

-The creepy sex looks and Anakin whining about Obi-Wan have been cut entirely. Things like this do not help the audience believe these two young people have feelings for each other.

-Captain Typho's role has been cut entirely.

-A deleted scene has been restored: Obi-Wan goes to the Jedi Temple to know where is the toxic dart coming from. In the original deleted scene, the temple can't locate where the dart comes from, but i edited it in a way to make it look Obi-Wan found out the answers he needed. Which leads us to...

-Obi-Wan talking to Dexter about the Dart, Obi-Wan searching about Kamino in the Library, and Obi-Wan being told by a bunch of kids the OBVIOUS has been cut. Ohh, the map has the silhouete of the planet, but the planet does not appear in the map even when the big empty space of the planet is still there, such a mystery!

-Anakin talking to Padmé about love and attachment has been a little bit trimmed. Cut the part where Anakin says Padmé appears on his dreams. Kind of creepy.

-The scene where Padmé discusses with the new queen about the actual situation has been cut to just make emphasys Nute Gunray is still the Viceroy of the Trade Federation. This will explain why is the Trade Federation still operational near the end of this part of the story.

-Obi-Wan talking to the Kaminoians has been trimmed a little bit. Master Syfo Dias does not exist in this story. Obi-Wan will be seemed Confused about the fact some master he does not know ordered to build an army for the Republic. In some of the first drafts, Syfo did not exist and it was in fact a false name for the Emperor, who ordered to build the Army. I'm trying to support this idea.

-Three Romantic scenes in Naboo have been used to not make this stuff too long. The scene where Anakin and Padmé talk in the waterfalls, which is cute because they share some nice smiles. Also it shows Anakin's ideals about politics (ahem, empire, ahem, Darth Vader, ahem). The scene where Padmé and Anakin roll in the grass, which is part of the other scene but i decided to split it up to use it later. Finally, the scene where they share a kiss, but I cut the stupid "I don't like sand" line. Also, i cut the part where Padmé regrets sharing that kiss with Anakin.

-That over the top and cheesy Shakesperian love has been cut. Anakin and Padmé will not be afraid of being together because he is a Jedi and she is a senator and blah blah, they just give in to their love, but it will be revealed they are married in secret in Revenge of the Sith part of the story.

-Cut all those scenes with Jango denying he tried to kill Padmé. Wasting time, we all know he did. Instead, we will see Obi-Wan catching Jango in the act of escaping, which leads us to the fight sequence. After this, Obi-Wan warns the Jedi Council about the Clone Army, but this scene was trimmed a little bit. After this point, we won't know anything about Obi-Wan until much later.

-Cut Obi-Wan chasing Jango in the asteroid field, Obi-Wan discovering the Trade Federation being the one who wanted to kill Padmé and Count Dooku interrogating him.

-Then we go to the scene where Anakin dreams about his mother. This scene also makes you believe Padmé and Anakin slept together.

-Trimmed encounter with Watto and the Lars, which lead us to Anakin discovering his dead mother, the return to the Lars farm and the scene where Anakin bursts out in rage about killing the Sand people. No problem at all with this scene, but I trimmed it a little bit at the beginning.

-Later they bury Anakin's mother and receive the message of Obi-Wan, who discovered the plot in Geonosis, they send the message to the Senate and Anakin goes to rescue his master.

-To cut the factory scenes. I restored two Deleted scenes: The first one will be one where Padmé tries to convince Dooku to release Obi-Wan in a peaceful way, but unsuccessfully, which takes us to another deleted scene where Padmé and Anakin are sentenced to the Geonosis Arena. Followed by a scene where Anakin and Padmé are put in the same place of Obi-Wan in the Arena to introduce the monsters and Padmé hiding something to take the hadcuffs off.

-Palpatine is given emergency powers after this scene, which leads us to Anakin, Obi-Wan and Padmé already freed from their handcuffs and fighting the monsters. Battle for Geonosis trimmed a lot. No C-3PO with the body of a Droid scenes.

-Cut all the scenes where the Clones are fighting the separatists in Geonosis. We will only see The Clones, Anakin and Obi-Wan chasing Dooku.

-Some cuts were made to the battle against Dooku, especially to take out the fact Dooku can also shoot lightnings. As i said, that is a trademark of the Emperor. Also, some shots were cut because i felt they were a little bit silly. In my opinion, this scene gets better when Anakin begins to fight Dooku alone.

-Cut all Yoda fighting against Dooku. As i said, Yoda will be (as always) the wise and powerful Jedi but he is old, so he can't move as fast as the other Jedi. Dooku escapes after defeating Anakin and Obi-Wan.

-Cut the bit where the Emperor calls Dooku by his Sith Lord tittle because this had to do with the Clone army's plot, which is different in my edit.

-Cut the part where Obi-Wan discusses Mace Windu about the Sith controlling the senate because the scene with Count Dooku was deleted. While they talk about having won the Geonosis Battle, we see some shots of Anakin's new arm and getting married Padmé. Yoda corrects Obi-Wan by saying they did not win anything and that the Clone Wars have begun, which takes us to a soft transition to the opening scene of Revenge of the Sith.

Attack of the Clones parts have been reduced to 55 minutes.
 

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Did you consider...?

Star Wars: Menace of the Clones' Revenge
Star Wars: Revenge of the Phantom Clones
Star Wars: Attack of the Phantom Sith
 

samspider3

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TM2YC said:
Did you consider...?

Star Wars: Menace of the Clones' Revenge
Star Wars: Revenge of the Phantom Clones
Star Wars: Attack of the Phantom Sith

I Actually Considered some combinations of names before Attack of the Sith Menace, but the last one of your suggestions is actually a very good one xD. I might change the name later with that one you wrote. Thanks for that!
 

samspider3

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Here is the opening crawl. As you can see, logos and music of 20th Century Fox have been changed. I don't know if i'm the first doing this, but i guess it is a neat detail xD. The opening will tell us in brief words the direction i'm taking with the story.
I was just thinking about the Sith mystery question. It almost seems as though the Sith are after Anakin from the beginning in your edit. Without the Naboo scenes The intentions of the Sith are dubious at best. The crawl could even hint this. Perhaps indicating that the light and dark forces are drawn to Tatooine. IDK. It just would be intriguing to make the Sith plan involve Anakin instead of retrieving the queen.

I followed your suggestion :D. Thanks TM2YC for his suggestion of the Title.

 

Neglify

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The change in the Fox logo looks sloppy.
 

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Neglify said:
samspider3 said:
The change in the Fox logo looks sloppy.

Agreed. Maybe you could speed the shot. Or maybe you could just use the old one. Or you could also just use the Lucasfilm logo with music in the background, mimicing how the Digital HD Release did, or without music like The Force Awakens.

Also, this may be minor; but the crawl doesn't fit with classic Star Wars crawl structure, which is;

STAR WARS

[insert title here]

2 Short Sentences {[which for some reason RotJ and RotS didn't follow, with RotJ having 1 long sentence and RotS having 4 sentences [if you count "War!" (what is it good for?)]}

1 Long Sentence (which for some reason TFA didn't follow with 2 medium sentences)

1 Long Sentence

Also the whole crawl should always be visible until it disappears, so instead of the crawl going beyond the borders, we should be able to see it fully, but going farther and farther as it goes...

 

samspider3

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2 Short Sentences {[which for some reason RotJ and RotS didn't follow, with RotJ having 1 long sentence and RotS having 4 sentences [if you count "War!" (what is it good for?)]}

I wanted to put something like "Peace has been disturbed in the galaxy" at the beginning, but i decided to go straight to the point because there is a lot of information i'm trying to condense in three paragraphs. If i added it, it would be too long.

Also the whole crawl should always be visible until it disappears, so instead of the crawl going beyond the borders, we should be able to see it fully, but going farther and farther as it goes...

That is something I was trying to accomplish, but this is an approximation of the real crawls. Recreating it was a nightmare because it didn't fit the screen when I made it. The effect of the words getting far is the main thing i can't do. Still, there are some words i changed later to not make the structure too long or some gramatical mistakes.

But regarding the logo, I think i will leave it like that. I do like it that way :v
 

Neglify

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samspider3 said:
But regarding the logo, I think i will leave it like that. I do like it that way :v

It's sloppy and unprofessional. If you weren't an approved editor and this fanedit came to me to approve I'd disapprove it right away just based on that lazy crossfade.
 
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