SHURI : Black Panther II - shortened and focused - complete

[tremault]

post edit 1 :
here are my thoughts.

• I feel that although this is a tribute to Chadwick Boseman, the funeral at the start is too long.
• the UN can be removed easily. a lot of Okoye's scenes can be removed.
• I want to remove Riri taking down the drone as it feels weird doing the same thing as the first ironman movie.
• I'd like to remove Ramonda taking Okoye's position from her.
• I want to remove Ramonda going to Haiti and Nakia's scenes, just show Ramonda talking to Namor on the beach and Nakia's first appearance when she has infiltrated the cave.
• remove Okoye talking with Nakia just before the attack,
• remove the printing of the herb and Shuri taking the herb and having the vision, instead cut straight to her looking at the panther masks, to not say outright if she is taking it on, then when she unmasks infront of M'Baku, it is more rewarding.
• before departing for the final battle, Nakia asks Shuri who she saw in her vision, I want to insert some brief flashbacks to the vision that we did not see.
• I would want to remove major portions of the end battle and have it focused very much on Shuri's battle.

first test edit,

---

Original post:
Heya,
Not been doing much here lately. I have to acknowledge that even though fanedits are done for ourselves, I personally don't feel motivated if I don't get feedback. That's just who I am.
So I'm gauging interest for a tremault type edit of Black Panther : Wakanda forever.

My ideas for what could improve this include reducing the presence of Riri/Ironheart and that is more or less it. The finale battle suffers from a lack of focus on the main hero; Black Panther; so I would try to rearrange that if necessary. It's also a rather bloated movie so I'd take any suggestions to reduce the running time.

Please tell me what you think. If it looks like people are interested in this and if I feel like I can get regular feedback on my progress then I'll probably make plans to work on this.
Cheers al!

 

[futon88]

My opinion: You might not be able to do much until there's material from subsequent movies to work with.

The movie felt like a decent reset for Wakanda and a strong setup for Talokan, and then they tacked on 30 minutes of conflict at the end 'cause we all expect a big battle sequence, or something. It was completely meaningless, in my opinion. So many dead, for what? And like, everyone is basically cool with it? I get that Shuri needed a push to take the mantle, but was that really the best way to make it happen? I'm not familiar with the source material to know if it was supposed to play out like that, but it didn't work for me.

I can't help but feel it could have worked better as a mini-series. We expect the TV shows to build character, and provide glue for the big set pieces. If this one had been a show, maybe the writers wouldn't have felt compelled to add all that fighting at the end. I think the person doing the marvel episodic format will find some good material here (forgive me, their name isn't coming to mind at the moment).

 

[Gieferg]

I personally don't feel motivated if I don't get feedback.

If I had waited for feedback, I wouldn't have finished any of my projects (as there is usually next to none)

 

[tremault]

If I had waited for feedback, I wouldn't have finished any of my projects (as there is usually next to none)

I'm glad you can work without feedback, we are all different. I need to be honest with myself. My work is a part of how I connect with people. When someone say something, even if it's negative, I feel good because I know I'm not alone in the world. Art is a conversation for me.

 

[Gieferg]

Well, I like it too, but it looks like people are not interested to give too much feedback for what I show in ITW threads so...

Anyway, good luck with (potential) edit, I still need to watch this movie, but I am not too motivated as I really didnt like first part and this one seems to be even worse.

 

[tremault]

Well, I like it too, but it looks like people are not interested to give too much feedback for what I show in ITW threads so...

Anyway, good luck with (potential) edit, I still need to watch this movie, but I am not too motivated as I really didnt like first part and this one seems to be even worse.

indeed, that's why I have hardly worked on my star wars and lotr edit and why i lost motivation for my avengers end. been mostly working on my videogame lately when I'm able.
I feel like when people are interested in my projects, there tends to be a fair amount of activity. if you look at my threads for the fanedits I've finished, you can see what I mean. I love how people do that and I always appreciate that interaction. without that, I just feel isolated and almost lost and I lose confidence. I have a lot of respect for you guys who know what you want and you just do it.

 

[Nic]

I'd say anything you can do to further emphasize that this is Shuri's movie would be greatly welcome, whether that's rearranging or deleting scenes (as Honest Trailers pointed out, Shuri doesn't put the suit on until near the 2 hour mark).

One scene I think you can delete is Romana at the UN, the status quo reset just ate up time. I think you could go from the opening to the Marvel logo to the Talokani attacking the ship, then maybe to Namor meeting Romana & Shuri (need to rewatch the movie just to be sure).

 

[tremault]

I'd say anything you can do to further emphasize that this is Shuri's movie would be greatly welcome, whether that's rearranging or deleting scenes (as Honest Trailers pointed out, Shuri doesn't put the suit on until near the 2 hour mark).

One scene I think you can delete is Romana at the UN, the status quo reset just ate up time. I think you could go from the opening to the Marvel logo to the Talokani attacking the ship, then maybe to Namor meeting Romana & Shuri (need to rewatch the movie just to be sure).

that does sound good to me, re-emphasis on Shuri. It makes a lot of sense. Also, I never would have considered removing the UN bit because that was a standout moment for Ramonda, but then again, it could be seen as overshadowing the rest of her performances.

 

[Nic]

that does sound good to me, re-emphasis on Shuri. It makes a lot of sense. Also, I never would have considered removing the UN bit because that was a standout moment for Ramonda, but then again, it could be seen as overshadowing the rest of her performances.

On a similar note, I think you can remove Romanda stripping Okoye of her Dora Milaje status. The scene is great and the bulk of it should be kept, but that's just another plot thread your asking the audience to hold onto because the script didn't know who the next Black Panther was going to be until Act Three.
On a similar vibe, see how much of Nakia's espionage you can remove, because again, it's ultimately not her movie (keep her mourning T'Challa, though).

 

[tremault]

On a similar note, I think you can remove Romanda stripping Okoye of her Dora Milaje status. The scene is great and the bulk of it should be kept, but that's just another plot thread your asking the audience to hold onto because the script didn't know who the next Black Panther was going to be until Act Three.
On a similar vibe, see how much of Nakia's espionage you can remove, because again, it's ultimately not her movie (keep her mourning T'Challa, though).

I think the inclusion of Nakia was to keep us guessing as to who would be the new BP.perhaps the same with Okoye and her being stripped of status. It seems like perhaps it was misdirection. But as you say, it introduces lots of threads to keep track of and perhaps takes away from the main story... I mean, how many people were really questioning whether it would be Shuri?

 

[Nic]

I was secretly hoping for a curveball, but it makes the most logical sense.

Also, relistening to a podcast on Wakanda Forever (Mostly Nitpicking by Nando v Movies, for what it's worth), & there's an even better reason to cut Romanda's scene at the UN. By keeping it, Namor's conflict with Wakanda is more of an impersonal one ("hey, everyone knows your the Vibranium nation, destroy the US's Vibranium detector or we'll come for you first").

By deleting, the conflict is more emotional ("hey, the US is going to circumvent your Vibranium trade routes whether you close them or not, so take out their tracking device or I'll make an example of your country in front of the world"). Now, Shuri & company's desire to protect Wakanda & refiguring out their nation's place is tied into their wanting to honor T'Challa's memory. I think you can accomplish this by interspersing T'Challa in front of the UN with Shuri trying to save him/his funeral.

 

[tremault]

I was secretly hoping for a curveball, but it makes the most logical sense.

makes me think of how they actually did it, didn't have much payoff. the way they had these separate stories was almost like they wanted to suggest somebody else could take up the mantle, but then they made it pretty clear it was going to be Shuri and there was no tension. they could have gone either way, either have it as a mystery and then have the reveal when the BP drops down into the chamber in front of Mbaku... or remove the whole mystery of 'who will it be?' and instead make it about will she take it up and why? There could be two fanedits here, the 'who will it be' edit and the 'Shuri's journey through grief' edit.

Also, relistening to a podcast on Wakanda Forever (Mostly Nitpicking by Nando v Movies, for what it's worth), & there's an even better reason to cut Romanda's scene at the UN. By keeping it, Namor's conflict with Wakanda is more of an impersonal one ("hey, everyone knows your the Vibranium nation, destroy the US's Vibranium detector or we'll come for you first").

By deleting, the conflict is more emotional ("hey, the US is going to circumvent your Vibranium trade routes whether you close them or not, so take out their tracking device or I'll make an example of your country in front of the world"). Now, Shuri & company's desire to protect Wakanda & refiguring out their nation's place is tied into their wanting to honor T'Challa's memory. I think you can accomplish this by interspersing T'Challa in front of the UN with Shuri trying to save him/his funeral.

Is there a deleted scene of T'Challa at the UN? Or do you mean one of the previous movies with the accords or something?

I like that point you make about making Namor's actions more personal.

 

[Nic]

I know there's a deleted scene of T'Challa & co talking with Everett Ross (it was in Lapis' BP edit), but now that I think of it, T'Challa didn't address the UN. You could just use the post credit scene, tint it black & white, to start, then use the audio closing audio as his casket rises above. Here's how I see it in my head.

- Open with the Post-Credit scene of T'Calla at the UN, black & white, saying for the first time Wakanda will be sharing it's resources with the world

-Smash cut to Shuri trying & failing to save T'Challa. Movie plays out as normal.

-As T'Challa's casket rises, audio from the UN scene plays out: "More connects us than separates us...We must find a way to look after one another, as if we were one single tribe."

-Marvel Studios tribute to Chadwick Boseman, followed by Namor's people attacking the CIA boat.

 

[tremault]

That sounds pretty sweet. I haven't seen the movie since my second viewing in the cinema so it'd require some study to see if it would work for me.
I appreciate being able to talk about it and I feel like it might be a project for me, but I'm not yet decided. I'll probably buy the film some time soon and then maybe give it a bit of a watch and see how I feel.

It seems like there is a hook there, a focus on Shuri and the personal conflict between Namor and Wakanda, it seems something that suits me and what I generally try to put across.

 

[tremault]

Okay, so skipping through the movie just now, here are my thoughts.

• I feel it is important to include more references to Killmonger from the start of the movie.
• I feel that although this is a tribute to Chadwick Boseman, the funeral at the start is too long.
• the UN can be removed easily. a lot of Okoye's scenes can be removed.
• I want to remove Riri taking down the drone as it feels weird doing the same thing as the first ironman movie.
• I'd like to remove Ramonda taking Okoye's position from her. Unfortunately, this could result in losing that reference to Killmonger....
• I want to remove Ramonda going to Haiti and Nakia's scenes, just show Ramonda talking to Namor on the beach and Nakia's first appearance when she has infiltrated the cave.
• remove Okoye talking with Nakia just before the attack,
• remove the printing of the herb and Shuri taking the herb and having the vision, instead cut straight to her looking at the panther masks, to not say outright if she is taking it on, then when she unmasks infront of M'Baku, it is more rewarding.
• before departing for the final battle, Nakia asks Shuri who she saw in her vision, I want to insert some brief flashbacks to the vision that we did not see.
• I would want to remove major portions of the end battle and have it focused very much on Shuri's battle.

Thanks for the input so far, it has me interested and I think I may start this endeavour, it seems reasonably straight forward.

 

[Editzilla]

All I'd remove is the subplot with Ross and the Seinfeld lady. That just added nothing to the story and just bloated it.

Heck, even the Riri subplot had something to do with the actual plot (Riri's invention is how the US was able to find Talokan). That other one was just to set up a Thunderbolts movie no one cares about LOL.

(maybe edit it into a One-Shot if you want)

 

[tremault]

All I'd remove is the subplot with Ross and the Seinfeld lady. That just added nothing to the story and just bloated it.

Heck, even the Riri subplot had something to do with the actual plot (Riri's invention is how the US was able to find Talokan). That other one was just to set up a Thunderbolts movie no one cares about LOL.

(maybe edit it into a One-Shot if you want)

I didn't look into the minutiae of those scenes, but I do recall there was a bit of domestic dispute going on there. I think I'd probably only keep what is necessary to move the scenes along, as he delivers some necessary exposition or something if I recall.

 

[Editzilla]

I didn't look into the minutiae of those scenes, but I do recall there was a bit of domestic dispute going on there. I think I'd probably only keep what is necessary to move the scenes along, as he delivers some necessary exposition or something if I recall.

Felt like it took too much attention from the main Wakanda/Talokan plot personally. You could remove it easily.

 

[tremault]

well to go from Namor saying "find the scientist" to them at the school having found her, it would be way too easy and leave viewers questioning. Ross needs to be there in that jogging scene. for the rest of them... hmm yes you have a point there. I was thinking that exposition was necessary but having a quick look now, it isn't really necessary for the story is it? Who cares what the US government is planning? The film isn't about that. Unless it adds weight to Namor's narrative.

 

[kinnikuman]

Heya,
Not been doing much here lately. I have to acknowledge that even though fanedits are done for ourselves, I personally don't feel motivated if I don't get feedback. That's just who I am.
So I'm gauging interest for a tremault type edit of Black Panther : Wakanda forever.

My ideas for what could improve this include reducing the presence of Riri/Ironheart and that is more or less it. The finale battle suffers from a lack of focus on the main hero; Black Panther; so I would try to rearrange that if necessary. It's also a rather bloated movie so I'd take any suggestions to reduce the running time.

Please tell me what you think. If it looks like people are interested in this and if I feel like I can get regular feedback on my progress then I'll probably make plans to work on this.
Cheers al!

They kept telling up how scary the Namor people were yet every encounter it was the wakandans outnumbered yet defeating them easily. In fact besides Namor nobody seemed a threat just a bunch of nameless goons. And then new black panther with absolute zero training beats the god like Namor ? This movie can be fixed by cutting the bloat but I wonder if the fights are fixable