Shang Chi and the Legacy of the Rings : Complete

[krausfadr]

New music transition sounds good.

 

[mnkykungfu]

I wanted this whole bit where the DID breaks out, being the peril. I felt like the viewer might not see this as so bad singe the good dragon was flying around, so I wanted to show at that moment that everything had gone pear shaped. I wanted to show that they had failed, that they were screwed.

To be clear, this is regarding some private back and forth feedback we had about the finale, where the "Mega Soul Sucker" breaks loose while Shaun is fighting his dad. I think your ideas here are really solid, @tremault

cutting away to the good dragon for too long would potentially hurt the pacing, so I just wanted to quickly show the viewer "the DID is free, the good dragon can't help".

In it's current form, my feedback was just that the whole part with the good dragon getting overwhelmed by little soul suckers was far too brief. Basically, after Shaun wins his fight against dad, it feels like the whole thing is an afterthought and almost a waste of time to watch...Wenwu was the big fight.
In order to combat that feeling, I suggested restoring more of the footage of the good dragon getting overwhelmed. There's a brief clip of it in this current version, but for me it was too brief and still didn't really give the feeling of peril, of "oh no, everything has gone pear-shaped". I think adding a few seconds more of it, and more of Xialing's reaction to it, might fix it though.

It seems like there are a few people on this thread who are interested in commenting on the videos you've uploaded though, tremault, so maybe you'd want to upload that scene and gather more feedback?

 

[tremault]

That's a good idea!

The following insert is to provide a feeling of peril at the DID escaping, since my edit has them defeating it so easily after this.

 

[tremault]

I had some feedback that trevor could be conspicuously missing towards the end of the movie. Of course, I took out some scenes of his that I felt did not fit at all, but it leaves a gap. To resolve this, I've trimmed his earlier scenes a bit more, from the parts where they are in the car to where they arrive in the village. by triming him out a bit more, his presence dwindles gradually and naturally takes less mindspace. hopefully this should make his absences less conspicuous.

 

[tremault]

So I tried to rejigger this ending doowop, and I ended up with this. it brings in the dragon in peril a bit earlier and introduces a little ray of hope. I'm not sure but I think it's emotional and works reasonably well.

 

[mnkykungfu]

^Personally, I do really like the extra couple seconds of "dragon being overwhelmed footage", and seeing Xialing do something to help also explains why she's suddenly on the dragon riding over to Shang-Chi. In the previous clip, she just kind of showed up and you might even miss her in the first shots.

 

[tremault]

Thank you, I think that's most of the fine tuning done then. I'm yet to hear from some previewers, but that's okay. it wouldn't be right to pressure them at all, they offered to help and they really didn't have to.
Should i consider wrapping this up and submitting to the academy?
Or is there anyone who would like to look at the current state of the edit?
or maybe I'm leaning a bit too much on others and should take charge of my own work XD

 

[tremault]

Okay, Here is my finalised edit list. I had to remove the cuts back to the battle in the finale, although they had the purpose of showing a little of the good dragon in peril, it just didn't work. also, as I was watching, I realised that the peril was there all along. Wenwu was almost unstoppable and the DiD was not the true threat. Once Shaun had reached a resolution with his father, the main plot point was resolved and all that is left is to 'be the hero'. the CG takedown of the DiD is more like a victory tour as far as I'm concerned. It makes me happy and It's the film I want to see.

• Inserted quote to set the mood.
• Removed Wenwu meeting Shaun's mother in the intro sequence, as it confuses his character too soon.
• Added Shaun's mother's death and him being shown how powerful and ruthless his father can be.
• Removed valet scene,
• Moved dinner and karaoke earlier and pared them down greatly.
• Showed Shaun getting ready for work AFTER night out and then cut to him arriving at Katy's home.
• Zoomed into postcard so it's easier to read.
• Colour graded to make Deathdealer more prominent and recognisable.
• Removed shots of Xialing training, Shaun was not aware of it.
• Extended the flashback with clips from other flashback later in movie.
• Removed air hostess.
• Removed Wong and Abomination from fighting arena.
• Removed Xialing's flashback.
• Removed all references to who sent postcard.
• Pared down the scaffolding scene, especially removing Katy's bad singing thing.
• Removed the strange bit of tension where he has the ninja guy pinned to the floor
• Removed Katy stating how 'scary' Wenwu was. There's no basis for this line from her.
• Removed Wenwu's criticism's of the name' the Mandarin'.
• Inserted Wenwu's first meting with their mother immediately prior to his tale about family life. it seems to fit better there.
• Removed all references to "I hear your mother's voice".
• reframed Wenwu and introduced whispering voices when he mentions 'the gate'.
• cut to 'water scene' earlier and carried the dialogue over to increase pacing.
• reversed shot of Wenwu in the bedroom and colour graded, so I could reuse it later.
• Removed the underground carpark 'chase'. it felt like needless additional action sequence and broke the pacing and structure of the movie IMO.
• Trimmed Trevor's story about the monkeys. it dragged on.
• removed more shots of Trevor in car.
• Cut the bit with the 'horse' stopping the car and staring at Trevor.
• Slightly reduced the hostility of the village upon their arrival.
• Cut down Trevor announcing himself in village. Need to take attention away from him.
• Removed Katy being taken to the archery area and told to start learning.
• Inserted deleted scene 'Apology'.
• Inserted Wenwu sitting on his bed at night time in contemplation.
• Inserted some shots of the big lion things lazing on the grass, it looks like morning in that shot and it's a good establisher to suggest passage of time.
• Removed Trevor teaching them football.
• Introduced whispers to Wenwu scene, night before attack.
• Removed Shauns flashback of his mother's death and him training as an assassin. It is all at the beginning now.
• Removed Shaun saying "I'm going to kill him".
• Removed Katy being told she can't fight.
• Trimmed down the fight scenes a lot.
• Inserted dialogue "You should've been there" at the culmination of Shaun's first fight with dad.
• Added 'whispers' as Wenwu looks at gate just before he jumps.
• Inserted small snippet of Shaun in the water just as a visual reminder of what the viewer should be caring about.
• Removed Katy being 'allowed' to fight.
• Inserted another snippet of Shaun underwater with the flashback of his mother reminding him about the dragon.
• Rejigged the dragon emerging from the water so the villagers are watching the water a bit longer preparing to fight the soul eaters, to slightly increase tension.
• Cut immediately from the dragon emerging, to the dragon advancing on the village taking out the soul eaters. It's meant to be badass.
• During Shaun's fight with Wenwu before the gate, removed the cut back to the village, removing cowardly Trevor and just showing a wide shot of gate.
• Removed villagers reactions to Dweller-in-Darkeness, this is an intimate moment between Wenwu and the thing that drew him here.
• Removed Shaun's flashbacks to the moments with his dad, they all were kinda negatively loaded. Replaced them with the shots of the happy family before their mother died.
• Removed Shaun colapsing the mouth of the gate. If it were that easy, they would have buried it long ago.
• Cut majority of Dweller-in-Darkeness CGI fest, it is now a victory tour for Shaun after he won against his father.
• Trimmed end dinner scene to remove Katy's brag about shooting the soul eater.
• Inserted additional credits and edited title.
• Edited 2nd end credits scene to include deleted scene "They're Waiting".

I just need to polish some shots to maintain quality and I need to change the Chinese to English subs to titles... unfortunately, the deleted scenes subs are burnt in so I can't remove them.

 

[Nic]

Are you going to fix the flubbed translation when Wenwu calls out one of the defenders in Tao Lo? In the movie he says "Be careful how you speak to me, young man. I've lived 10 of your lifetimes," when the actual translation is more like "Show respect when you talk to me, child. I've eaten more salt than you've eaten rice." Arguably, a much better one-liner.

 

[mnkykungfu]

^Bwa ha ha! That is really funny. I cannot possibly imagine a broader audience not just being dumbfounded by that line though. Personally, I hate when translators just say the exact words that were originally spoken rather than translating the meaning for their intended audience. The new Neon Genesis Evangelion translation is a perfect example.

 

[tremault]

I am personally a fan of more accurate translations. I honestly never gave it a moments thought as the only Chinese I know is 'ni hao'.

 

[tremault]

What would you think of the line "Hush, boy! I was doing this when your grandmother was in diapers!"

well in any case, it doesn't look like anyone's done a full set of more accurate translations so there's not much I can do :/

 

[Editzilla]

Eh, sounds too much like a schoolground insult for someone like Wenwu.

 

[tremault]

I was trying to think of something that old people would say to young people that make them feel small.

 

[Nic]

I think a more refined line might be "I was leading an army while your grandfather was being nursed (breastfed)." It's a more classy line but still highlights the immense age gap Wenwu has on everyone.

 

[tremault]

That makes a lot of sense. Thanks for the alternative.

It's just.... The way the original Chinese line is described is, it has a certain sting to it, something kids will have heard a lot and it's familiar / colloquial. So if I can't find something that feels familiar and scathing , I should just stick with the Director's original translation.

 

[tremault]

So I've submitted this to the IFDB for approval.

Here is the cover art I produced. Thanks for the Images posted previously, they were incredibly useful.

 

[tremault]

I'm in a position to say I'm happy with my renders and everything I've setup. It's time for some reflection.

When I watched this movie many weeks ago, it was my second viewing. I felt like I had a decent idea of what could improve the movie, but I didn't clearly understand why. Over these weeks, chopping up and rearranging these scenes, becoming more familiar with the dialogue, then getting such fantastic feedback from a few of you.... I have gained a much more clear picture of what this movie represents for people, specifically those of Chinese heritage. I was guilty of ignorance and I've learned so much culture. I've learnt exactly who Awkwafina is and learnt more about these beloved Chinese actors. I've learnt a bit more about some editing techniques and polished my skills. This was far more extensive of an edit than what I have done before.

I decided to go back and have a quick analysis of the original theatrical edit. I was quite surprised at how different it was and how much I have actually changed it. I also found I am far more able to understand the different elements and recognise why I was confused watching it. Quite simply, it's a mess. Maybe that's not completely fair, but for someone with a disibility to do with short term memory, it's almost impossible to keep a lot of these elements in mind. The movie had this ongoing mystery about Shaun's past along with the Katy story, the Wenwu story, the Xialing story, the Trevor story, etc. There was so much going on at once and it was so easy to forget about stuff. like the cut back to the plane with the stewardess, incredibly distracting and almost as if the director was saying "forget about Shaun's past, pay attention to this joke instead". In fact that really does highlight something I noticed quite clearly this time. This movie seems to go out of its way to push Shaun into the background. at every opportunity it tries to distract you from him. Even some shots have him off to the side as if he's a bit character. I realise I was unaware of that before and it's something I could have rectified. I could have reframed those shots, so maybe that's something for a future version. It's almost like this was "Katy and the Legend of the Ten Rings". Then when there was any opportunity "hey here's xialing's flashback", "hey here's a joke about aeroplane food", "hey look, it's wong fighting abomination!", "hey look, it's a postcard", "hey look, it's trevor!", etc. It was startling to see. Then I went back to my edit and realised, I've fixed that. I think the reason is, how I front loaded Shaun's story, and removed a lot of shots of Katy. The beginning of the movie really is Shaun focused now, so at the times where Katy is centre frame, it still doesn't seem like she is meant to be prominent. I believe this is about setup and payoff.

Setup and payoff.. I like that concept. It's like, one of the more important aspects in narrative, is setting up a character, who they are, what they want, and then getting them some payoff through the story. I think I managed to do that pretty well. In the theatrical version, I spent most of the movie wondering what happened to his mother, that I wasn't really following the plot well. In my edit, it's immediately established what happened to his mother, and the rest of the plot can be focused on fully. I'm pretty biased, so I think what I did is pretty cool, but of course there's a lot that could be better. I see a ton of stuff I'd like to work on more, but I have to draw a line. The work is done.

P.S. I can't normally write a lot due to my dyslexia. I'm impressed.

 

[mnkykungfu]

Awesome reflection. I love that you got so much out of this. Honestly, many of your criticisms of the original film seem not only bang-on to me, but representative of more recent MCU films as a whole. I much prefer their earlier films, because they had focus. "The First Avenger" for example, is a film that doesn't get nearly enough love....

Captain America: TFA takes a character that for many people would be cheesy, boring, dated, and impossible-to-identify-with, and turns him into a sympathetic, nuanced, heroic human. He's not some cardboard soldier or boy scout, he's one of us, given a chance to do something good and just trying to live up to it. He's an ally, in more ways than historical. The film manages to build up Peggy Carter and several important side characters as well, but it never loses sight that this is Steve's story, and the goal is about anchoring the film in his experience and pulling you in to that.

Many recent MCU films lose sight of the idea of films being "empathy machines". They don't anchor you in the viewpoint and emotional experience of the character, they play the character and experience for pure jokey, smashy, dancing monkey value. They try to force in side characters, villains, love interests, parents, and give every one of them a back story and equal screen time...diluting the narrative in the process. What is the point of view here?! Whose story is this? Most writers and directors just can't pull this off, and it feels like the central character doesn't really have much depth in their own film. (Recent Thor, Dr. Strange, and Black Widow films are all guilty of this overstuffed, unfocused approach).

I think you've manage to create a more-focused film for Shang-Chi, but one which values the other characters as well. Maybe Marvel will have more confidence in Simu Liu in the future, as he was undeniably one of the smallest names in the cast at this point. I'm still hoping for my true Martial Arts movie in the MCU though...I wish Marvel leaned in more to scenes like the bus scene instead of glowy rings and dragons.

 

[tremault]

We can hope. The Jeremy Renner series was pretty good and focused on pure combat without magic powers. It would be nice to see something like Drunken Master.