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Riddick: Mercenary Station P7

futon88

futon88

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I'm editing Riddick (2013) and positioning it as a sequel to Pitch Black (2000) rather than the third movie in the series. This movie will be called "Riddick: Mercenary Station P7". The planet doesn't have a name (aside from "not Furya"), but the mercenary station is called "P7", so I'm going to work with that.

Primary changes
  • Remove Necromonger framing story.
  • Remove as much of the misogyny as possible.
  • Dog lives.
Change Log
  • Added FE warning.
  • Changed music in first scene.
  • Removed Riddick strangling creature.
  • Improved quality of voice-over.
  • Removed Karl Urban's credit.
  • Added custom title.
  • Added dedicated credit for David Twohy.
  • Removed flashback to Necromonger storyline.
  • Removed the "back to my roots" scene (keeping the voice-over, just removing the visuals).
  • Removed the "dominance" scene (wasn't present in the theatrical cut anyways; mostly removing because the lighting isn't great).
  • Removed Riddick grabbing dog. Dog gives up the golf ball peacefully on the second ask.
  • Added music when Riddick activates the beacon.
  • Removed the prisoner/slave execution.
  • Added music during "long night" (soundtrack & diagetic)
  • Removed Riddick's creepiness in the bathroom.
  • Shortened Dahl's grooming scene considerably.
  • Removed some creepiness with Santana when Dahl leaves the bathroom.
  • Removed fight between Santana and Dahl. It still happens, we just don't see it.
  • Dahl interrupts Santana and punches on "Whor-" instead of letting him finish his sentence.
  • Removed "I don't fsck guys..." line.
  • Removed Vargas being condescending to Dahl re: power nodes.
  • Changed music for "Dahl, get your sniper rifle".
  • Changed music for "Look south...".
  • Removed "retard bingo".
  • Changed music for "Box boy..." (Riddick capture).
  • During capture scene, dog escapes instead of being killed by Santana.
  • Removed Dahl painting toe nails during interrogation.
  • Added flashback to Johns Jr's death from Pitch Black
  • Removed "dead animal pickup...balls deep...sweet-like...only cause she asked me too...etc."
  • Removed "any special requests?" .
  • Removed "matches your nipples" .
  • Removed Lockspur's "I know what they are" line.
  • Removed "...is that before or after I'm supposed to fsck him?"
  • Changed music during Space Harleys.
  • Removed Riddick's Space Harley barrel roll (he still burns the creatures, but in a more believable way).
  • Changed music during "ground game".
  • Changed music during Riddick's final scene on the cliff, and compressed the scene slightly.
  • Dahl still rescues Riddick, but without the, "I need to ask you something" bit. Movie ends here.
  • Removed spaceships-in-the-sky epilogue.
  • Removed Necromonger postscript.
Featuring select music from King Crimson and additional music by Graeme Revell.
 
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Work in progress for dog-lives:

(removed link)

All comments welcome. The B&W is just a test, and I still need to work on the sound effects and balance the music.

Why it might work:
  • Earlier in the movie, the dog makes a lateral pass on the hostiles but doesn't engage. Perhaps dog often runs interference for Riddick. They are pack animals, and we can speculate dog and Riddick have hunted together before.
  • Dog was shot with the rifle earlier in the movie and likely doesn't want to get shot again. The sound of the rifle might scare it away after the first pass.
  • In the original, the dog mauls Santana heavily, including bites to the neck, but after the encounter only his arm appears to be injured.
 
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I've uploaded a newer version of "dog lives" (same link). Because the scene is much shorter without dog's death, I had replaced the music, but as it happens, the music I selected from the score is used in the preceding scene. Sigh. Can't repeat the music so soon. So I've replaced the music for that part of the movie too, but since the score bleeds heavily through the center track, I've had to redo the sound effects. It's like dominoes. I need to be mindful my changes don't lead to an unnecessary cascade...

Still a work in progress, but I think it's coming together.
 
Removed the Drive link, as I may have shared it incorrectly again (though I was pretty sure the download option was disabled).
 
I'm interested to see what you come up with - I liked what Riddick was going for, but it doesn't quite hit the heights of the original film. The changes you've listed all sound promising to me.
 
The third movie definitely saw a significant reduction in scope, both for budget reasons and I think because they went a bit too hard with the fantasy elements in 'Chronicles'. My version of Riddick will pare it back even further, though the significant connection to Johns and the callback to the number of crash survivors, number of people who made it off world etc. makes it a very explicit sequel to Pitch Black.

For the most part Riddick is fantastic. It's just weighed down by the baggage from Chronicles. And, you know, the blatant misogyny.

Biggest challenge I have so far (really, the only challenge) is making it believable that dog lives. My workprint has a fairly cheap way of making it happen that I'm hoping to sell a bit better with some audio work, but the truth is, if dog lives then I also need to show dog again at the end of the movie, and I have no ideas on that front...

I'm not sure how I'd tackle Chronicles. For me, the movie is 100% about Crematoria. That bit is a "Riddick" movie, but it's only like 40 mins. Setting up the connective tissue that brings Riddick there while removing the Necro/Furyan story lines...I dunno if it can be done. I think there's a decent story in there that's 90% about Riddick in Jack.
 
I think I found a way to give Dog a brief cameo at the end.

wXth7Lq.png


I take that shot, mask Dog out of it but otherwise leave it alone. Then I take the same shot, flip it, mask Riddick out, change the lighting to evoke sunrise-after-storm and add some weather effects. It'll be a bit like dog coming out of hiding as the storm passes, looking down from the hill, looking for his/her friend.
 
Ok, I could use someone's honest and critical opinion on this.

Main objective here is to make it plausible for dog to live through the encounter. Secondary objectives are to remove "retard bingo" and replace the music in the second half of the scene with the music used for the first half of the scene.

These are 5+ minute clips, but the middle is largely the same (minus "retard bingo"). It's the bookends that are different.

This is the original:
Warning: Violence towards CG animals. People too, I guess.

This is my work in progress:
SFX are temporary but I'll be keeping that music-only slomo section because I like it that way.

Password is fanedit.
 
futon88 said:
nruxwoC.png



I'm editing Riddick (2013) and positioning it as a sequel to Pitch Black (2000) rather than the third movie in the series. This movie will be called "Riddick: Mercenary Station P7". The planet doesn't have a name (aside from "not Furya"), but the mercenary station is called "P7", so I'm going to work with that.

Primary changes
  • Remove Necromonger framing story.
  • Remove as much of the misogyny as possible.
  • Dog lives.
Change Log (work in progress)
  • Removed flashback to Necromonger storyline.
  • Removed the naked, "back to my roots" bit (keeping the voice-over, just removing the visuals).
  • Removed the naked "dominance" scene (wasn't present in the theatrical cut anyways; mostly removing because the lighting isn't great).
  • Removed Riddick grabbing dog. Dog gives up the golf ball peacefully on the second ask.
  • Removed the prisoner/slave execution bit.
  • Removed Riddick's creepy hand maybe stealing hair from Dahl. There's a moment where we clearly see his shadow and that's enough to build tension as the scene ends. Checkov's mirror is set up at the beginning, and two scenes later we see Riddick using it. It's enough.
  • Removed fight between Santana and Dahl. It still happens, we just don't see it.
  • Removed "I don't fsck guys..."
  • Removed mansplaining re: power nodes
  • Different music in key scenes:
    • "Dahl get your sniper rifle"
    • "Look South..."
    • "Box boy..."
    • Left for dead...
  • Removed "retard bingo".
  • Dog is no longer killed by Santana when Riddick is caught.
  • Removed "balls deep".
  • Removed "any special requests?" .
  • Removed "matches your nipples" .
  • Removed Lockspur's "I know what they are" line.
  • Removed "...is that before or after I'm supposed to fsck him?"
  • Dahl still rescues Riddick, but without the, "I need to ask you something" bit.
  • Compressed dialogue during spaceships-in-the-sky epilogue.
  • Necromonger postscript removed.
Click to expand...
Holy freaking horses on deserted planets, Mr. Couch! That's breathtaking! Love it! I would be very happy to preview this for you!
 
This edit is complete. Please PM me if you're interested.

This is my second edit, and my last with Flowblade. If I continue with this editing adventure, I'll be moving on to a more sophistical NLE.

This edit is far from perfect, but I've enjoyed putting it together, I've learned a lot along the way, and I hope others enjoy watching it.
 
I had to take this down briefly, but it's back now. I've also uploaded a smaller file (3GB).
 
I need to see this edit. I love Pitch Black and Chronicles and the anime and the videogames.

This movie's opening with the dog was incredible, but the rest didn't hit like I was hoping for. This edit may be the ticket.
 
For those who saw this one, tell it to me straight: Does the dog rescue work? I'm thinking of re-doing this project in Vegas, and I may abandon saving the dog if it just doesn't work...

Thanks
 
Save the dog! Have you forgotten they are man's best friend?
I would shove my partner in front of a bus to bump my dog out of the line of fire. She's just a woman. He's my best friend.
Save the dog!
 
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