BONUS: 'Cannibal Attack' [1954]
A Jungle Jim film without Jungle Jim? Sort of. Here Johnny Weissmuller plays... Johnny, still gainfully unemployed in the jungle with his trusty chimp, while the Jungle Jim license lapses, yet there's still 3 films left on his contract. New name, same old plotline.
Is it really too much to ask for a film titled 'Cannibal Attack' to feature an attacking cannibal? Apparently so. Instead, we are served up ex-cannibals which, let's face it, is not anywhere near as exciting. A tribe that used to eat people but don't do that anymore is just a tribe. So what do they do instead? Why, they dress up as crocodiles and beat people over the head with small paddles. Not quite the same, is it?
Tamba the chimp, not to be outdone, also has a new name - Kimba - and seems better behaved, or at least doesn't actively try to get Johnny killed in this one. For those keeping score, Johnny has 3 dips in the water (6 minutes in, 40 minutes later, and then 2 minutes before the end) but the most interesting occasion is when he could have swum but didn't. One of the good guys is being attacked by, yes, a crocodile. Johnny is about to dive in to save him, but trips over his own feet., apparently knocking himself out for a few minutes while he's about it. The good guy then has to wrestle and kill the crocodile on his own, which is actually footage of Johnny and his stunt double from an earlier film. It's just all so meta.
Speaking of reused footage, there's also the giant eagle attack, apparently, although I dozed through that segment and couldn't be bothered to rewind. This is another dull Jungle "Jim" film. With no real cannibals to speak of, we are left with a story about cobalt smuggling, brought to you by those fine people at the Cobalt Trading Company: For all your Cobalt Needs! OK, so I don't know whether there was any cobalt sponsorship going on, but we get a good bit of cobalt advertising early on, stating all the wonderful uses of cobalt, from dental bridge work to radiation. "It's more useful than uranium!" someone says, as if that's a selling point. Don't forget to pick up some cobalt from the concession stand, kids.
Judy Walsh plays the sultry Luora who tries to snare Johnny with her feminine wiles, but he's having none of it, especially after she throws a rock at Kimba/Tamba. "I'm sorry, I'm a native, I have no sense of humor," she deadpans. The film finally lumbers to a close with Tamba/Kimba wearing glasses, reading a newspaper and then hitting a crocodile disguise with a paddle while everyone laughs. But I am with Luora on this one.