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Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade: Unholy Edition

InfoDroid

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*Note: The original post was deleted and replaced on 8/10/08 with the following info when the edit was completed. Therefore, the immediate responses to this post might not seem to make any sense.

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All right, Folks! Let the outrage begin! I present you with "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade: Unholy Edition"...sure to piss off all lovers of Spielberg's original.

I never knew there was so much I disliked in this movie until I sat down to edit it and started asking for suggestions. Type12point posted an outline of an edit he'd been working on, so I carefully considered each of his listed changes, along with many other suggestions that were posted on the forum. Some of them great. Some of them impossible.

There were always a few things about the original that annoyed me, but for this edit I really tried to hold it up against Raiders whenever there was a doubt of whether or not to rework something. What I initially thought would be a pretty gentle edit turned out to be as drastic as my Temple of Doom edit. Though it still seems slightly lighter in tone when compared to Raiders, (thanks mostly to the whole premise of Indy running around with his dad.) I feel with a little editing, I've been able to turn it into a fun, dignified, slightly more serious and much more worthy sequel to Raiders.

Here's what makes it different from the original:

*) Added Lucasfilm Logo.

1) With apologies to River Phoenix and thanks to gaith1 for the courage of his suggestion, the entire Young Indy opening sequence was removed. Too much like a slaphappy Looney Tunes episode. Everything was too "on-the-nose" with the explanation of how he got the whip, how he got the hat, how he got the fear of snakes...the whole tone of that sequence was off. And the supporting actors were horrible. It's so off in fact, it makes me wonder if Lucas directed that portion himself. It was Lucas' way of getting a commercial in there for the TV series he had planned, and the few redeeming qualities of the sequence weren't enough to justify saving it. Anyway, the film is given new
life by being freed from this goofy and awkward beginning.

2) Instead, we start the film with the Paramount logo fading to a ship on the stormy high seas, which leads right into Indy getting punched in the face on the Coronado. I inserted shots from a different film to accomplish this, and I'm sure you'll all guess which one. (See Pics...)

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3) New credits, obviously.

4) Removed white-suited villain's line "This is the second time I've had to reclaim my property from you," to avoid confusion.

5) Back at the college, removed Marcus Brody's line "...my treat..."

6) When they get to Venice, removed Indy's line "and my mother's ears, but the rest belongs to you." and then Elsa's response..."Looks like the best parts have already been spoken for."

7) Removed librarian comedy schtick in library. Now Indy simply grabs the brass rope stand and cracks open the floor.

8) Removed Indy's line in the tomb about the water being petroleum before promptly lighting a torch. Thanks to ShiftyEyes for the suggestion.

9) Removed Indy's line in the tomb about his father never making it past the rats. "He hates 'em." Too much symmetry. (Thanks Type12point.) We get the idea later when Connery asks, "Rats?" No need to beat us over the head with it.

10) During the end of the boat chase, Kazim shouts "My soul is prepared!" but doesn't ask Indy "How's yours?"

11) In Venice, Indy and Elsa kiss and drop below frame. They don't come back up to say "Ah, Venice."

12) Removed Indy and Elsa's conversation in the car outside the castle.

13) By popular demand, I removed Indy's Scottish-accent tapestry artist scene. Now we see an exterior of the castle followed by Indy and Elsa sneaking up to the Nazi control center.

14) When Vogel takes Elsa hostage, there was a little too much back-and-forth for me. Now, he simply says, "That's far enough. Put down ze gun or ze fraulein dies." Cut some of Connery's lines like "Don't worry he won't." Indy has much less time to make a decision now. "Enough! She dies!"

15) After Elsa says "I'm sorry." Removed Indy's line "Don't be."

16) Once captured and in front of Donovan, removed Connery's diatribe about how he knew Walter would "shell his mother...blah, blah, blah...to the shlime of Humanity."

17) Removed Connery's line about Marcus not being "up to the challenge".

18) Reordered the Marcus train station "punchline" scene: Marcus meets Sallah at the train station but we cut it at "Don't panic. Everything's under control." Then cut back to Indy and Dad tied up in the chair. We get the Austrian and German goodbyes. Then, when Indy tells his dad "Are you kidding? Marcus got lost in his own museum once." we cut back to Marcus and Sallah meeting the Nazi director of antiquities guy. Cut the stupid bow the guy gives Marcus. They ask for Sallah's papers. Sallah looks at them and says "Papers?"and we cut back to Indy and Dad tied up, "Can you try and reach my left jacket pocket?"

19) Reordered a few shots in the fireplace scene to fix some awkward editing and poor music-editing in the original and to eliminate the "Dad! What? DAD! What??? DAD!!! WHAT???" comedy routine.

20) The fireplace flips only once now before the Nazis notice them. Thanks to Type12point for suggesting it.

21) Removed the gag with Indy tumbling down the stairs after "a solution presents itself". Now he simply says "Come on, Dad!", Nazis pursue and the next time we see them, they're riding out of the crate on the motorbike.

22) After the motorcycle chase, I re-edited the scene with them arguing about whether or not to go to Berlin. Cut Connery's speech about "the armiesh of darknesh" marching all over "the facesh of the Earth". I like this scene
so much more now. It's far less preachy and they're going to Berlin to get the diary back for the wealth of info it contains...not just the three simple-to-remember booby trap clues. Thanks to gaith1 for the suggestion.

23) Removed the "No ticket!" scene. It's cute...but, no.

24) Reworked the dogfight sequence. Now, there's no dogfight at all. ME109's swoop in and shoot them down, then one pursues them on the ground with strafing fire. (Thanks, gaith1 and Kolpitz!)

25) Removed the ME109 flying into the tunnel. What pilot would be that stupid? Plus, the special effects are extremely dated and the plane passing them in the next lane is just ridiculous. In my version, the plane chases them down the road, pulls up, then turns around and drops the bomb.

26) Removed the King of Hatay's lines about "Tanks"..."You're welcome."

27) Removed Conney's lines in the back of Sallah's car. "Now they have the map." (We already know that.) "And in this short of racesh, there'sh no shilver medal for finishing shecond."

28) Removed Donovan's line "Care to wet your whistle, Marcus?" and Brody's response, "I'd rather spit it in your face. But seeing as I haven't got any spit..."

29) Removed Connery and Brody's thing, whatever it was, about "That genius of the restoration, aid our own recussitation", nonsense. Now it appears the Nazis captured Connery and brought him into the tank.

30) Cut one of Vogel's slaps, "What are you hiding?"...so that on the third (instead of the fourth) slap, Connery responds.

31) Cut Indy and Sallah's argument about "No camels..." What was all that about anyway? It brought all the momentum that had been building in the scene to a complete standstill.

32) I wanted desperately to cut Connery squirting the pen in the Nazi's face. But there was no way to do it and still keep the continuity. The guy had ink all over his face later on, and what he did impacted the rest of the scene, and there was just no way. So, that's my one caveat with this edit. But, at least we could lose Marcus' cringeworthy line "the pen is mightier than the sword," which was the real offender of this film and probably my main inspiration for making this edit.

34) Removed Vogel stomping on Indy's fingers while he's holding on to the tank. Now, he just goes right for the shovel. Much more vicious.

35) Removed Connery's and Brody's lines about "It's a war!" and "Didn't I tell you this was a rescue?" This was the equivalent of C-3PO and R2-D2 in the Attack of the Clones end battle.

36) Removed Connery asking "Where's Marcus?" on the top of the tank when he just watched him fall off.

37) Removed Indy and Connery yelling "Dad!, Junior!, DAD!, JUNIOR!"

38) Removed Indy shouting "Sallah! Get Dad!" And then Sallah's line "Father of Indy! Give me your hand!"

39) Removed Vogel's ridiculous close-up "Dr. Strangelove" death scene shot (by request of GAD).

40) Removed Connery's exposition about how he "never told him anything. Five minutes would've been enough." I feel Connery's face, being the actor he is, says all of this in subtext without him having to vocalize it. He also says to Indy later "I thought I'd lost you, Boy..." So I think that says it all.

41) Removed Sallah's and Brody's reaction shots to Indy and Dad's hug. This was their moment, brief as it was, and doesn't need to have shots of Marcus making goofy faces crowbarred into it.

42) At Petra, Marcus still has a gun pointed in his face, but he doesn't do all the nodding comedy schtick.

43) Removed a couple of Connery's "Penitent, penitent..." lines. Don't worry, there's still plenty. You won't even notice.

44) Removed Connery's joke, "but in Latin, Jehovah begins with an I". Indy tells us the same thing two seconds later.

45) In the final scene, I removed possibly the worst line of the entire movie..."Indy! Henry! Follow me! I know the way! AaaahhhHHHH!" Poor Marcus. I also had to take out a couple of brief shots of Indy's horse catching up with Marcus' and replace them with title cards.

46) Added a tribute to the cast in the end credits.

Runtime: 1hr 44min.
Format: NTSC, 16:9 widescreen
Sound: Dolby Digital 5.1 Surround

I also took the constructive criticism of from my Temple of Doom DVD and improved the scene selection menus. Each scene is numbered and titled now and only four chapters per page.


The first copy of this will be mailed to Throwgncpr, TJDavis1138, and Sluggo tomorrow. From there, I'm assuming
(hoping) it will filter through to the usual channels of distribution so that you guys can see this real soon.

All the best,

--InfoDroid
 

reave

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I don't mind the train scene too much, but the parts where he gets his whip, hat, fear of snakes, etc., are pretty dumb and I wouldn't mind them disappearing. If the whole scene need to go, to make things flow, then I say axe it. It is a fanedit after all!
 

ben_danger

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please get rid of harrison ford's tapestry artist impression!:)

what do people make of the Elsa love affair, ie the kissing etc? i dont think it is that neccessary and doesnt achieve that much.
 

ben_danger

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InfoDroid said:
Most people seem to agree that Marcus Brody is way too funny...(or unfunny) in this installment. So, his part is definitely scheduled to be trimmed.

could we keep the bit that follows indy describing "he'll blend in, disppear etc" followed by him in the train station. you could cut him off before salla gets to him, i just love the contrast between what indy says and what actually happens. you dont hae to mention that he got lost in his own museum though. and it is mentioned that he is caught anyway without us actually seeing it.

InfoDroid said:
He just takes the cross and runs away and the next shot is him running home...the music meshes and it works perfectly well for me...

it may be worth including the shot of the guy giving indy his hat. it may be useful for making a link to the passing of "the hat" in indy IV? plus i liked the link between the scenes. the man in white may not need to be mentioned, its convenient that the bad guy always has an unimaginative wardrobe.;)
 

InfoDroid

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ben_danger said:
it may be worth including the shot of the guy giving indy his hat. it may be useful for making a link to the passing of "the hat" in indy IV? plus i liked the link between the scenes.

Yes, everything that takes place at the house is staying in, and of course the subsequent boat stuff. I like all that.
 

AvP

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Will you be editing the 1st indi film?
 

InfoDroid

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Not editing, but I will be adding the Lucasfilm logo at the beginning and including the "Rifftrax" audio.

To me, Raiders is about as close as you can get to a perfect film.
 

AvP

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dont think that be allowed here.
 

boon23

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really. Rifftrax audio is for sale. It would be illegal to make it available for free. We also would not agree to hosting an edited rifftrax.
 

InfoDroid

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Okay, guess I can cross that one off the list. :-o
 

Gaith

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ooh, can't wait! I'd be tempted to try cutting the Young Indy altogether... when I re-watched it a few years ago, the abrupt shift from Monument Valley to a livable area annoyed me, but I'd be willing to give your cut a try.

What about the plane sequence? A lot of that is too-cute, gimmicky action... might be best to just have them escape the blimp by plane and let that be the end of it.

Finally, if somehow the exterior shots of Petra could be removed/replaced, that could be cool... I think that these days, more than in the '80s, people know about Petra, and won't buy it as a lost site.

Again, sounds great!
 

Grievous Angel Draven

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Honestly, I like having all the young Indy scenes in the film, but I would like it if you cut the uber-fake shot of Vogel's death. Ever since I saw that, I've wanted it gone, even more than the bad Brody bits.
 

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All of your ideas sound great to me. I never much cared for the Young Indy stuff. I hated the show and I don't care either way for the bits in the movie. In my opinion, it adds nothing to the overall story of the movie or the character of Indy. Anything you can trim to bring Marcus Brody back some pride and dignity would be much appreciated. In fact, any of the lame humor that you can cut would be much appreciated. It's not nearly as offensive as the "humor" in Crystal Skull but it's not necessary (or particularly effective) either. I agree with gaith1 about the stuff on the blimp. Cut it. I know this sounds like I hate the movie. I don't. I love it but I think it needs work. I'm looking forward to your edit.
 

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Infodroid,

I just got done with my Crusade edit. This is a description of the edit from my website (http://www.12point.org/12point/crusade.html):


New run time: 120 minutes (Previous run time: 2 hours, seven minutes)

Time needed to complete the edit: 5 nights, one or two hours a night

Degree of changes: Minor. Removal of weaker comedy moments and airplane action set piece. Some tinkering to visual look of film.

The following is a list of changes I made to the film:

-During the credits, I took away the shot of the fat boy falling off his horse. (Ironically, to make the soundtrack fit, this necessitated getting rid of the ‘Edited by Michael Khan' title.)

-Cut: the bad guys falling over themselves

-Cut: bad guys whistling for their truck after Indy whistles for his horse.

-Cut: the fat kid blowing his trumpet in Indy's face

-Cut: the gag with the librarian thinking his stamp is making thunderous noises.

-Cut: Stumbling across a picture of the Ark of the Covenant.

-Cut: The idea that Indy's dad is deathly afraid of rats. Enough symmetry already! (It's bad enough Indy apparently invented himself in a single afternoon back in 1917.)

-Cut: Indy and the girl screeching at each other in the power boat.

-Cut: Harrison Ford doing the Scottish accent

-Cut: Henry Jones being surprised that Indy gunned down his captors.

-Cut: the ridiculous Nazi hamming it up with: "Let me kill them now."

-The scene with Marcus Brody meeting Salah is now much shorter. They are met by the Nazis--the request for "papers" is moved up and played over the lip-syncing of the first Nazi to greet them), they fight, and Brody is whisked away. As much of the shtick is gone as possible.

-Indy and his father in the fireplace now only swing around once, since it seems unlikely that anybody, even duty-minded SS, could miss a blazing fire right behind them.

-I took out Indy's using the motor boat as a decoy. Even watching the movie on a small screen it's obvious when the Nazis come out of the castle that the boat is empty. Also gone is Indy peeling out on the motorcycle at a blazing five miles an hour. A later shot of Indy and his dad on the bike has been moved up to serve as the cutaway shot.

-Cut: Indy and his dad getting on board the blimp. Indy's dad, a professor, is seemingly unable to notice he's holding a German newspaper upside down. Also, the "no ticket" gag was a little too cute.

-After a brief scene with father and son on the blimp, we jump over the airplane chase entirely. The special effects in this sequence always bothered me, and I didn't like the cuteness of it all.

-Cut: the Nazi repeatedly slapping Sean Connery is out.

-Cut: Marcus Brody blathering on about the pen and the sword during the middle of a hellacious fight.

-Cut: Indy's dad and Indy reaching the same conclusion that "in Latin, Jehovah is smelled with an ‘I'". Indy Sr. cannot see what's going on, so I'd rather lose the joke.


What I Hoped For With These Changes:

My first and most obvious intent in re-editing Indiana Jones And The Last Crusade was to make it closer in tone to the first movie in the franchise. Raiders Of The Lost Ark is one of my most favorite films, and it has never generated--and never will generate--worthy sequels.

I've always thought of Last Crusade as the weakest Indy film. (Even after seeing Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull, I still suspect it is. I will have to rewatch Skull to say for sure, and I'm in no hurry.) While Temple Of Doom also has too much bad comedy, some dodgy effects, and the added onus of some quite racist material (that dinner sequence, oy!), it at least took its threats, its bad guys and its action sequences a little more seriously. There is actual peril in Doom, but none in Crusade.

After getting rid of some of the jokes, restoring some of the dignity to the characters was next. Marcus Brody in particular needed attention, although Salah and Henry Jones Sr. were also the butt of jokes a little too often for my taste. I took out as much of the Nazi clownishness as I could. The last thing an action movie needs is for its antagonists to be clownish.

The airplane chase looked cheap and had to go.

Finally, I'm just not well versed enough with Final Cut Pro filters to give the film the look it's always deserved, but I tried. Crusade has always been aesthetically the most boring and cheapest looking Indy film. In some cases it practically looks like television. I did the best I could to add some bloom and take away the "candy" colouring.

END QUOTE

I also thought about getting rid of the train sequence, but since I was alweady getting rid of one action scene (the plane chase) I just didn't think I could afford to lose another. I tried several times to get rid of PARTS of the train sequence (falling in snakes and taming the lion) but I just couldn't make it work.
 

InfoDroid

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Sounds cool, Type12point!

I'll have to check it out. Is it available yet?

The fat kid falling off his horse was a tricky one, but I was able to cut it without losing any of the credits by removing Mr. Havlock yelling "Dismount!", which isn't really necessary anyway. Music matches up perfectly.

I know what you mean about the train sequence. Because of the geography of the action on the train, coupled with the fact that the music is so prominent, it's virtually impossible to edit just one part out of that sequence. I tried getting rid of the lion part and the snake part. But, it's an all or nothing situation. I'd rather leave it out. But it does create another problem. Indy with Herman in the cave saying "it's just a snake." There's no way to get rid of that without losing Indy telling Herman what to do, and really no resolution to the setup without the train sequence.

And I agree the plane sequence really needs to go. The special effects are terrible.

I like the Ark of the Covenant gag though. Makes me laugh every time. Maybe it's just Harrison Ford's delivery.
 

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I haven't put either my finished edits up yet. I'm a little wary of which way digital lock-picking laws are trending (I even wrote Boon about that very subject just the other day). I may go back and take any identifying mark off my edits, but then the fact remains I talk about my edits on my site (and I like talking about them on my site, damn it). Boon tried to reassure me, but it may soon become Canadian law that any cracking of the digitalized code of the copyright holder (CDs and DVDs) and disseminating of said material (in any way) will be met with a $20,000.00 fine (it's only $500.00 is you download it). I don't know if the law will pass, or if anyone will get hit with a fine or law suit or anything. Probably not. But I'm feeling less secure.

Anyhoo, nobody needs more Star Wars and Indy edits. No matter how great they are! (Yeah, right.)

Since I haven't burned my DVD of Crusade yet, I may go back and revisit what you say about Mr. Havlock.

As for the Ark Of The Covenant gag, I agree it's cute. It's just I'd rather not have any winking at the audience. It always reminds me I'm watching a sequel.
 

Gaith

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All the more reason, infodroid, to cut Young Indy altogether, no? I think it'd work perfectly well to begin on the ship in the rainstorm. Your call, of course. ;)

Also: could the fact that the Joneses go to Berlin for the booby-trap clues be cut? I'm not sure if it would work, but those are three awfully simple clues to forget. I think if Sr. insists on getting the diary back, that might be plausible in of itself.

I assume that many of Connery's "funny" lines will go also...

And another vote for keeping the Ark gag! It was the only reference in the original trilogy to one of the other movies (the ToD missing-gun gag excluded).
 

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I don't personally mind most of the gags in Last Crusade as I feel they're fun. But they do have the tendency to undermine characters/situations (like everything that made Indy who he is being boiled down to train sequence or the Marcus Brody gags).

gaith1, I do think some of the young Indy stuff should stay as it sets up both the cross and the daddy issues/grail thing. The stuff on the boat seems a bit too brief to make a worthwhile opening sequence.

Infodroid, one of the things that you should definitely look into the moment in the tomb where Indy notes the place has been saturated with petroleum, and promptly lights a torch.
 

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ShiftyEyes said:
I do think some of the young Indy stuff should stay as it sets up both the cross and the daddy issues/grail thing. The stuff on the boat seems a bit too brief to make a worthwhile opening sequence.

Well, as you say, the cross disappears pretty quickly, like the idol in Raiders. As for the daddy issues, imo, that comes in loud and clear when Indy is approached by the baddie and has no idea what his pop is up to. For a hypothetical first-time viewer, this might actually be more interesting than learning straight off the bat that Sr. cares more about Grail lore than Indy.
 
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