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Hook: the way you (want to) remember it

Another example of redundant dialog. Wendy's speech sets up the transition to Neverland and confirms to the audience that Peter is indeed the Pan. Beyond that, this has no stakes for the characters: Wendy's speech doesn't make Peter remember, it doesn't get him to contemplate his past or to take any action.
By the time Peter remembers, it's because of events that are forced on him by Tinkerbell, Hook, and the Lost Boys.
So Wendy's speech gets trimmed to improve the movie's pacing.

P.S. Dame Maggie Smith is channeling scary Yoda from ESB, am I right? 😲

Versus the original
 
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Here's a rare example where I added a shot: I inserted a cutaway shot between the Mermaids and Peter arriving at the Lost Boys treehouse. The shot is taken from the trimmed subsequent scene so it's not new, it just fits better in this spot because it creates the impression that the Mermaids have time to bring Peter to the Lost Boys.

The edit (1'13") adds the cutaway shot, and cuts the snow, penguins, and introduction to Tinkerbell's clock-home:

The original (2'19"):

Getting close now! Only 18 more days to the 30th anniversary of Hook and the release of this fanedit!
 
FEEDBACK REQUEST FROM ALL THE DADS: Does this short version still gives you a knot in your stomach? 😣

Peter misses Jack's baseball game after promising he'd come, Jack feels betrayed, and Peter feels awful. A solid premise: all the dads in the audience should go "ouch" at that.

Problem in the original is that it took forever to play out this one plotline:
1) Peter attends daughter's play, where he promises to also attend son's game.
2) We see the baseball game, intercut with Peter at the office. Both kids are wondering where dad is.
3) Peter drives up to an empty baseball field. The game is clearly over.
4) Family in airplane, where Jack is angry at his dad for missing the game.
5) Later in the film: Hook mentions the missed game to Jack, which sets up the baseball game in Neverland.

Visually, that comes to all this:
baseball%20screenshot%20collage.jpg


In the fanedit, we skip the game. We go straight from the play to the car driving up to an empty field (the red-framed screenshots). Later, when Hook mentions the game, we get a short flashback of the game of Jack looking around for his dad and Maggie asking mom where dad is:

So to all the dads watching this: does this trimmed version of the missed game still resonate? If yes, good! It should make you feel bad. If no, what's missing from the edit that you did get from the original?
 
I very much look forward to seeing this when it is complete. I hope you don't cut out too much of the comedic moments, like you did with the plane sequence where all the trays are bouncing around. that scene is just funny.
 
This looks great! Perfect timing! I loved this movie even with those flaws. Your edit aims to make itva masterpiece. Spielberg may offer you a job?
 
Personally, it doesn't really work for me, at least with the original soudntrack for the moment. I'm open to it, but do we need to see it if Hook just said it? That seems to possibly go against what you've set out to do with the edit?
 
DigModiFicaTion said:
Personally, it doesn't really work for me, at least with the original soudntrack for the moment. I'm open to it, but do we need to see it if Hook just said it? That seems to possibly go against what you've set out to do with the edit?
Click to expand...
I tend to agree with this. The music cue kills the momentum. (Disclaimer: I'm not a dad, though)
 
DigModiFicaTion said:
Personally, it doesn't really work for me, at least with the original soudntrack for the moment. I'm open to it, but do we need to see it if Hook just said it? That seems to possibly go against what you've set out to do with the edit?
Click to expand...
That's what I was wondering. Do you prefer the original version of the scene where Hook mentions the game? Without my flashback:

The flashback isn't required for clarity: it's clear enough that Peter missed the game, whether we see any of the game or not.
It's more a question whether the flashback adds meaningfully to the emotional impact.

FYI, the added music is a cheat. The original scene has that music loudly through Maggie's line "Mommy, where is daddy?", and I couldn't get that line cleaned up in any satisfactory way. So instead of trying to remove the music, I leaned into it and added the (lined-up) track from the CD across the entire flashback. If I remove Maggie's line, I don't need that song and can simply extend the slightly ominous notes from Hook's cabin across the flashback. But I find her line the strongest part of the baseball game, telling us that even she is disappointed in her dad. If I leave out that line, I'd prefer to leave the entire flashback out.
 
lapis molari said:
That's what I was wondering. Do you prefer the original version of the scene where Hook mentions the game? Without my flashback:

The flashback isn't required for clarity: it's clear enough that Peter missed the game, whether we see any of the game or not.
It's more a question whether the flashback adds meaningfully to the emotional impact.

FYI, the added music is a cheat. The original scene has that music loudly through Maggie's line "Mommy, where is daddy?", and I couldn't get that line cleaned up in any satisfactory way. So instead of trying to remove the music, I leaned into it and added the (lined-up) track from the CD across the entire flashback. If I remove Maggie's line, I don't need that song and can simply extend the slightly ominous notes from Hook's cabin across the flashback. But I find her line the strongest part of the baseball game, telling us that even she is disappointed in her dad. If I leave out that line, I'd prefer to leave the entire flashback out.
Click to expand...
I do prefer it without the flashback. Hoffman's acting of fake empathy sells the moment perfectly, and the flashback distracts from that.
 
I'm not a dad, but I found that music change very jarring. I'd have to see the scene in context, but judging from what you listed for what happens in the original film, it doesn't sound like it's doing more than it needs to convey the thematic and events. I'd be concerned about the cut limiting foreshadowing for the scene with hook. If you think the scene is bloated or poorly paced, can simple trims be made to improve on that without cutting the actual event?
 
I'm with Scribb on this one. As a dad, this movie is a constant reminder itself of the importance of being there for your kids. Cutting the baseball scene actually hurts that important plot point, imho.
 
ArtisDead said:
[...] Spielberg may offer you a job?
Click to expand...
If dreams came true! But seriously, I'd love for Spielberg to find out about this fanedit some day and think "Thanks for trying." Possibly followed by "Even though we disagree on what's weak in the film." Ultimately everyone at FE would love that, right? For filmmakers to appreciate that, even though we're reshaping their dreams, we do so with love for the material and we do it respectfully and to the best of our abilities.

@The Scribbling Man and @DigModiFicaTion , I tried to trim the baseball game several ways, but wasn't satisfied no matter how I reworked it. Whether short or long, it always feels like a distraction from the movie's forward momentum. It stands out for me as the scene that most makes me wonder whether the movie is trying to show us the story through Peter's eyes or Jack's. My edit squarely tries to show Peter's POV.

Thanks all for your thoughts on the 9-second flashback: I removed it, so Hook's wicked reference plays uninterrupted.
 
lapis molari said:
FEEDBACK REQUEST FROM ALL THE DADS: Does this short version still gives you a knot in your stomach? 😣

Peter misses Jack's baseball game after promising he'd come, Jack feels betrayed, and Peter feels awful. A solid premise: all the dads in the audience should go "ouch" at that.

Problem in the original is that it took forever to play out this one plotline:
1) Peter attends daughter's play, where he promises to also attend son's game.
2) We see the baseball game, intercut with Peter at the office. Both kids are wondering where dad is.
3) Peter drives up to an empty baseball field. The game is clearly over.
4) Family in airplane, where Jack is angry at his dad for missing the game.
5) Later in the film: Hook mentions the missed game to Jack, which sets up the baseball game in Neverland.

Visually, that comes to all this:
baseball%20screenshot%20collage.jpg


In the fanedit, we skip the game. We go straight from the play to the car driving up to an empty field (the red-framed screenshots). Later, when Hook mentions the game, we get a short flashback of the game of Jack looking around for his dad and Maggie asking mom where dad is:

So to all the dads watching this: does this trimmed version of the missed game still resonate? If yes, good! It should make you feel bad. If no, what's missing from the edit that you did get from the original?
Click to expand...
I would lose the first half of the game, move the second half in its place keep Peter leaving the office, then showing up to an empty field. It shows he tried, but maybe he didn't try hard enough.

I am a dad, and I think that playing the scene in that order and then the later Hook scene with no flashback is the way to go, more of an impact to both scenes.
 
lapis molari said:
It stands out for me as the scene that most makes me wonder whether the movie is trying to show us the story through Peter's eyes or Jack's. My edit squarely tries to show Peter's POV.
Click to expand...
Honestly, that's one of the things that makes this movie so good. It's primarily told through Peter's eyes, but a child can also view it through Jack and Maggie. As a child I viewed it through his kids and the lost boys' point of view. As a teen I saw it through the point of view of Rufio. As a parent, I now see it through the point of view of Peter.
 
That's deep. I just saw it through the eyes of someone who loved Peter Pan. I could only see at as a parent because it wasn't around before then. 🙄
 
I thought it was a fun movie before, so I would like to see what you end up with here...
 
Working on the Teaser now, to use as opening credits. Resorting to Photoshop to create a clean background once the map bursts into flame, because doing that through layering in Vegas turns out to be more difficult than I expected.

After that another look at the color correction of the Lost Boys deleted scene. I'm unable to get the coloring and lighting to match perfectly with the scenes before and after, but it's already closer than it was.
 
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