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Godsmacked

ssj

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OYsSosYTHDBr0zw1ugzNqkomdduR8aTq7MHoFLhms06WccX-Js4QssEGg1BRW7GwVZiHFl5_Ldyg9j-HsjzTVNzQZkPdIG31wU_ZZEx-QT11TSfJJkOIavk2GTWTMeDBNTNOQ64FNYZTqn5ZMdwHUsr7R4TaDOD7B4vQXm2a6qHFzI8_-H0LsWjN3f99yiMdPvjdRos3MSFzRjt1Fq6AGYO6IHnQzZxQBaJnXVdMjceRFyFvvSFtYabm8wXB5ZMn-NI5xOlAYqyEbTRcJjoxaka9UMsQho7Gkhk2sRhqQNkwycGWmVPXOfc9NCPsXwKgeTtwGovdhHJ6nRRK_ba2JFK20LYtNd0AYSBHjRib8Kq50j_tuPO2N8Y8VAdPaBQJymKQ_DSW9RdqprxQSSe6uptbYp-IiliOOJSSBlLtqCHwiyltjxEDk1KrNrqjY3vp0KmuTWe9kLAZZU4HMR3_vjXEg141e4akIrDQ49ngxOabN__7gsMK0ZNdjynurrEZluWd3f5UjdfOy6p3giHY2JP2Nr6YkkfpcS5kChXDprvEd2o3PVHORNYrkmxX5giM_4E=w1535-h2175-no


GODSMACKED
by ssj

With more than 600 impious subtitles, minus heaps of violence and miracles,
this godsploitation edit breathes new life into the story of Jesus’s death.

Original film name: The Passion of the Christ
Film release year: 2004
Original runtime: 127 minutes
Fanedit release date: March 2016
New runtime: 72 minutes

INTENTION:
Through the magic of subtitling, Jesus's last hours are retold from a skeptical perspective with Dungeons & Dragons sensibility, dashes of absurdity, and plenty of questions. This ain't your grandma's messianic tale.

CHANGES:
Added:
• More than 600 new subtitles which tell an alternate story
• Custom end credits
Removed:
• Miraculous ear reattachment and its aftermath
• A touch of priestly violence
• Judas’s return of payment (too late, dude)
• Some of the devil children scenes
• Mary'€™s telepathic communion with incarcerated Jesus
• The visit to King Herod's court
• Heaps of violence and sadism
• Demonic midget, awesome though he is
• Crown of thorns being smacked into place
• Centurions spitting on Jesus
• Mary and Mary Magdalene's janitorial services
• Flashback stoning of a hottie
• Much of the cross walk and related torment
• Young Jesus tumbling, helicopter mom
• The sympathetic lady who shows off Jesus's bloody facial print
• The outrage of Simon of Cyrene
• Mary, Mary Magdalene, and John arriving at Golgotha
• Nail hammering
• Shoulder dislocation
• More hammering
• The floating crucifix miracle (some miracle; Jesus still dies)
• Much of the cross-raising scene and the accompanying triumphant music
• Soldiers enjoying a diversion
• Jesus receiving moisture
• Earthquake, temple rift, holy lance scene, Pharisees freaking out
• Jesus takedown and the motherly camera staredown
• Resurrection and the accompanying triumphant music
CONTENT ADVISORY:
Blasphemy, symbolic cannibalism, deicide, and supernatural shit.

SPECIAL THANKS:
To Ballerina for pondering the infinite, blueyoda and Dwight Fry for the encouragement, Neglify for the subtitle tweaks, Captain Khajiit for kungfu-master technical guidance, Gatos and Neglify and blueyoda for reviewing the workprint and educating me on the art of fanediting, to TMBTM for inspiring me to mess with subtitles, and to reave for being reave.
To addiesin, Brumous, thecuddlyninja, dangermouse, DominicCobb, Garp, jswert12345, MackerelSkyLtd, ThrowgnCpr, TM2YC, TV's Frink, Vultural, and yoshif8tures.
And to Mel Gibson and company for telling the story in Aramaic and Latin instead of English.
Cover imagery by Banksy, Vectorportal, and Paramount Pictures.

TIME NEEDED TO CREATE EDIT:
About 13 months.

RELEASE DETAILS:
Video: H.264 MP4, 1920 x 800
Feature audio: 5.1 surround, 640 kbps AAC
Commentary audio: stereo, 160 kpbs AAC

SPECIAL FEATURES:
Monica Bellucci promotional interview
Commentary track

[align=center]
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TRAILER
PROMO
 

TM2YC

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The trailer is very funny. Looking forward to checking this out.
 

ThrowgnCpr

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A heathen's review:

I love me some ssj and blasphemy, so of course I had to watch this edit right away :D

Video: The edits are done excellently. ssj is heavy handed, but the film still moves along nicely. There is still plenty of bloody Jesus for everyone... At just 2GB, the 1080p video looked pretty darn good. There was some compression noise and minor blocking in dark scenes, but these were not at all distracting. Next time I might suggest that the editor gets closer to a 4GB release, but honestly, this looked really good

Audio: Seamless. None of the cuts were noticeable, and I enjoyed some of the musical goodies too

Enjoyment: Two opposable thumbs way up!! The subtitles were very clever, and several had me laughing at loud. Thanks for the chuckles buddy ;) I look forward to having another watch with the commentary.
 

ssj

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thanks, tm2yc! i hope this little ol' edit puts a smile (and goat horns) on thy head. :-D

8cf0632672f23228938ea083f1c46eda.jpg


and thanks, throw, for the kind words! in terms of video quality, i wouldn't have been able to make it look so good without all the lessons learned from fellow faneditors. i tried some encodes that were closer to 4 GB, but i couldn't see much of a difference, so i stuck with the smaller file size. parts of the movie that looked slightly soft in my edit were also slightly soft in the original (possibly indicating that the original editors magnified the original picture at certain points).

hope you enjoyed the couple birds in the movie. i lay dibs on the term "ornitheology." :p
 

thecuddlyninja

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Here's a blu-ray version of ssj's great cover for those interested:

 

ThrowgnCpr

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ssj said:
hope you enjoyed the couple birds in the movie. i lay dibs on the term "ornitheology." :p

I hope I didn't belabor the video quality note too much. Really, the quality was very good for the size.

Anyway, I got a good chuckle out of the ornitheology gags. Thanks :)
 

ssj

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Thanks, kettleninja! Damn impressed by your collection and its curation.
______

Not at all, throw. If anything, I was surprised by how nice the resolution came out. Then again, it's a short movie, and there are lots of talking head scenes with blurred backgrounds, so the data requirement wasn't major.

[For newer faneditors, here's a summary of my work flow: blu-ray conversion to prores via pavtube, edit in Final Cut Pro X with prores output, handbrake transcode of prores to MP4.]

And I forgot, there's a dino joke in a pontius + claudia scene, so let's say there be more than a couple bird references. ;-)
 

ssj

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xcloudten_pictures_logo.png.pagespeed.ic.FLllHH2cir.png
latest

Fox_Faith_logo.jpg


hoping faith-based production companies pick up and distribute my fanedit!

6f6feaa5582abbe9786c8e4d4cd1acce.jpg
 

Gatos

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I was a big fan of ssj's Crouching Dragon - Tiger Lily edit. So when he announced he was tackling another edit my ears perked up. The trailer hooked me.

The edit. Props to ssj for basically writing a new script for a movie. I can't imagine the amount of time and effort that went into creating all these subtitles (I still need to rewatch with the audio commentary).

Picture quality looked good to my untrained eye. Audio editing was seamless.

Narrative was good. I like ssj's sense of humor but humor is subjective (obviously) and some people might not care for it. On top of that ssj deals with the delicate subject of religion. If you're easily offended, be warned..this edit is probably not for you. ssj delivers comedy in one hand while dishing out criticism and pointing out the hypocrisy of religion.

Where ssj's real talent shines is in the "phonetic transliterations" (not really sure what else to call it - kind of like the reverse of Bad Lip Reading). He incorporated these into his Crouching Dragon edit and they show up again in Godsmacked.

Thanks for this edit ssj! This is the only way I will ever revisit The Passion.

Rating: three out of three *insert something funny here*
 

njvc

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This is my favourite edit of all time that I have never seen. Your trailer made my day. Can't wait to watch this with my equally sceptical brother. As post-religious folk, I expect a cathartic and hilarious good time. Thanks for making this ssj!!!
 

L8wrtr

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OMG.

Downloading now. My world just got a little bit brighter for knowing this exists.. I can only imagine how enlightened I shall become.
 

L8wrtr

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L8wrtr said:
OMG.

Downloading now. My world just got a little bit brighter for knowing this exists.. I can only imagine how enlightened I shall become.
Or not. I figured this was on info already!! Damn you!!!
 

ssj

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thank you for the review, gatos! and gatos, njvc, L8, i fucking love you guys.

i had so much fun putting this together. got to put all those years of sunday school edumacation to good use.

as mentioned in the ITW thread, jesus has a character arc in this story. ain't that sumptin'? :)
he goes off the reservation.
disclaimer: audio for the feature sounds pretty darn decent, methinks. however, the commentary audio is a bit sibilant, and you might be able to tell i was tired as fuck when i recorded it. hope you'll forgive me for a freshman commentary effort and not cast me into a lake of fire!

not sure when the DLC will be up in the usual place, so please PM me for the lock picks to the viewing room.
 

ssj

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^ omifuckinggod, i love it! that is wild, man!

and those bloody hands look as though they belong to bellucci—totally gonzo. and the font on the front cover and spine looks wicked!

Audio: Some dead language.
:lol:
 

ssj

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neg, mi amigo, thank you for the review! and for your feedback on the verkprint. superfucking glad i could slide a few shitzengiggles your way!
________

this doesn't have much to do with anything, but it's pretty trippy. MTV's amp. . . those were the days. can't embed, so clicky click on over to youtube, preeze.

 

ssj

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*looks at an ITW thread detailing massive effort toward color regrading, says to himself, that's insane*

*some other dude looks at my schtuff, sees a bunch of subs, says to himself, that's insane*

:D
 

ssj

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belatedly. . . thanks to neg for checking out the commentary! full disclosure: i wasn't stricken by lightning during its recording.

and happy, happy easter! or kate upton day!

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ssj

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you like pie-L8,
i like pilates.
let's call the whole thing off.
 
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