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CROUCHING DRAGON—THE TIGER LILY CUT
a TRUE FANEDIT by ssj
With entirely rewritten English subtitles, this edit profanely and absurdly alters the story of the original Mandarin-language movie. Eastern fantasy themes and western medieval fantasy are hustled into a lush honeymoon suite where they must show each other their privates.
Original film name: Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
Film studio name: Sony Pictures Classics
Film release year: 2000
Original runtime: 120 minutes
Fanedit release date: August 2012
New runtime: 94 minutes
Amount of time cut: 26 minutes
To spray graffiti on moving pictures. The original movie explored earnest themes, including the recklessness of youth, the complicated nature of student-pupil relationships, and the restricted lives of women. This edit replaces such worthy considerations with an alternate story line.
Added more than 730 subtitles.
Removed a whole lot of dialogue-intensive scenes, removed the marriage subplot, leaving the fight scenes intact between. . . a whole lot of talking.
Removed the characters for “tiger” and “hidden” from the title screen and added the modified English title in the same font as the original.
Several audio issues, including overly loud dialogue during a fight scene and brief audio/video asynchrony, exist in the original movie; these problems remain uncorrected.
Mature language, sexuality, drug references, simulated violence, and supernatural shit.
To blueyoda and Neglify for reviewing the workprint and providing invaluable feedback.
To Captain Khajiit for industrial-strength technical wisdom.
To Brumous, Gatos, geminigod, juice4z0, L8wrtr, Neglify, Q2, reave, Stankpac, theslime, ThrowgnCpr, and wabid for additional technical guidance.
To emphatic for translating this obscenity into Swedish.
To everyone at Fanedit.org.
To my family for putting up with this project.
To Ang Lee and the original cast and crew for playing it straight, by which they were clearly anticipating the release of this farcical version years later.
TIME NEEDED TO CREATE THIS EDITION:
About 14 months, including six months of neglect.
High-def mp4: resolution 1280x528, AAC stereo 256 kbps, 2.28 GB.
Standard-def mp4: resolution 960x400, AAC stereo 160 kbps, 1.35 GB.
Coming soon: an HD version with Swedish subtitles, courtesy of emphatic; a DVD version, courtesy of Captain Khajiit.
Cover art, discless disc art, trailer, and promotional material featuring Michelle Yeoh.
This edit is available via Mediafire. It'll be listed soon on .info, but please PM me if you'd like to see it sooner.