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A few reviews

Vultural

Well-known member
Donor
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Monsters - 2010 - 5/10

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Earth gets invaded by aliens.
Rather, Mexico gets invaded by walking octopuses (octopi - octopods) about five stories high.
The US erects a mammoth wall to keep aliens in Mexico. Is this symbolism?
Octopi wreck some buildings, yet far more damage is wrought by fighter jets.
Two unlikeable US citizens journey through the "Infected Zone" toward the homeland.
Not a Horror film, not SciFi, not a Romance, but an old-fashioned Road movie.
Hardly any budget, sparsely plotted, the only "actors" were the two leads. Solid use of scenery, music, and unease.
A cadre of geeks swooned over this film, trumpeting what the director created with only $15,000.
I still felt like the carnivore inside a vegan cafe.
 

Vultural

Well-known member
Donor
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The Woman In Black - 2012 - 5/10

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Hammer film starring Daniel Radcliffe, based on the West End shocker that has been playing since ... when ... the Gladstone administration?
Twisted tale set in haunted house where our young clerk must shift several lots of papers.
He gets distracted constantly. Noises overhead, creaking down the hall, movement outside. So he stops working to start chasing. I hate working with people like that.
Every five minutes, the film had a gotcha surprise punctuated with REALLY LOUD music.
Film-makers have opened up the play considerably with brooding exteriors and wonderfully appointed interiors. Fellow audience members thought the sets too perfect.
Good for some jolts, but an overall disappointment for me.
 

Vultural

Well-known member
Donor
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Urban Explorer - 2011 - 3/10

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A mixed quartet of global tourists opt for the €300 (each!) illegal tour of the Berlin sewers. Destination, a recently discovered, now sealed Nazi room.
Obviously, those 20ish gimbots have never watched a dead teenager flick in their lives. What else would explain, "Oh, sewer walk, fun!" ?
Avoids clichés initially, then succumbs to predictability and formula.
Docked several points for lazy writing (eg: helpless, whiny female characters), and one stupid decision after another made by players so they could be easy targets.
Caveat emptor.
 

Vultural

Well-known member
Donor
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The Conjuring - 2013 - 6/10

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Family of seven moves into possessed house deep in the woods.
Quickly discovers the boarded up cellar, followed by bumps in the night.
Oh, and the family dog refuses to enter the house.
As always, they have never seen a Horror film or read a ghost story.
Renowned demonologists arrive and paranormal activity soars.
Not a bad film, I was lucky to watch it while a crashing thunderstorm howled outside.
Despite the children, five girls, the director does not succumb to child exploitation.
 

bionicbob

Well-known member
Donor
Faneditor
Vultural said:
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The Conjuring - 2013 - 6/10

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Family of seven moves into possessed house deep in the woods.
Quickly discovers the boarded up cellar, followed by bumps in the night.
Oh, and the family dog refuses to enter the house.
As always, they have never seen a Horror film or read a ghost story.
Renowned demonologists arrive and paranormal activity soars.
Not a bad film, I was lucky to watch it while a crashing thunderstorm howled outside.
Despite the children, five girls, the director does not succumb to child exploitation.

I really liked this movie. I would love to see a sequel featuring the Warrens. In the closing sequence, they hinted their next case was in Long Island, New York -- ie. Amityville Horror!
 

Vultural

Well-known member
Donor
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99.9 - 1997 - 4/10

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Spanish film about paranormal radio host whose boyfriend goes to a ghost village. One minute he's naked, running for his life, then dead.
Of course the female host packs her suitcase, hits the village, and begins questioning everyone in sight.
The title refers to the station's radio dial, though if you are cute you could invert those numbers and get ... OH NO!
There were gaping loose ends and inconsistencies that ruined a pretty fair horror flick. I docked this movie because, at the Toronto Film Festival, the director confessed there were aspects of the narrative that didn't interest him, so he dropped them. Another wannabe Lynch, Suzuki, or Goddard (take your pick) who delivered a half baked film to viewers.
For gore hounds, mayhem was largely offscreen. Though the sequence near the end, with the three females, the pit and the blood ... Ah, if only.
 

Vultural

Well-known member
Donor
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Elvis Vs Cthulhu - 2047 - 7/10

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Everyones favorite villains, property developers, are at it again.
Their target this time is the Black Sands Orphanage!  In breathtaking Hawaii.
After the board of directors decline multiple offers, the developers meet on the beach at midnight and invoke dread Cthulhu.  They beg the Great One to destroy the orphanage, devour the children, and leave the black sands red with blood.
Three pretty counselors, Julie, Jackie, and Jennie, all wearing matching white go-go boots, call for a hero.
Elvis.
The King arrives, forty years after his disappearance, and true to his Southern roots, he knows how to wield a chainsaw.
Between relentless battles, he manages to romance each lovely lady and sing classic songs such as:
“Tentacles Of Love,”  “Stand Against The Shadow Of Time,”  and  “Beach Barbeque Rumble.”
A winner!
Don’t miss the closing credits where the Lord Of R’lyeh vows to return while the King sings  “Bop bop a lula, gonna pop ya Cthulhu.”


Note:  This ends the barrage of Halloween Horror jollies.
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Gaith

Well-known member
Faneditor
^ Ooh, that last one sounds fun, I'll have to check it out. Hey, wait, 2017? I... dammit. :p
 

Vultural

Well-known member
Donor
The Silence - 2010 - 7/10

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Grim business in small town Germany.
Young girl on bicycle followed onto lonely dirt road, raped, killed.
Community shocked, police tear themselves apart trying to find murderer. Nothing.
Twenty years later, an identical crime of young girl on exact same stretch of road.
A new generation of cops investigate, realize it is not a copycat, but the killer has returned.
Engrossing, absorbing thriller, though not necessarily entertaining.
Perhaps not for parents, certainly not the squeamish.
 

Vultural

Well-known member
Donor
Byzantium - 2013 - 6/10

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Arched vampire film (sounded like a play to me) set in Hastings and Dublin.
Dual threads of modern girls eeking a living by petty crimes and prostitution, being trailed by two men in blue gloves. Secondary thread is of same girls, two hundred years earlier, and how they came to be "turned."
Slow, low on thrills, yet avoids the usual cliches. Mysterious order and isolated cave involved.
Violates vampire rules such as daylight and mirrors - I am seeing this more often lately.
Top crew led by Neil Jordan.​
 

Vultural

Well-known member
Donor
Pandora's Box - 1928 - 8/10

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Silent masterpiece directed by Pabst.
Louise Brooks mesmerizing as Lulu, the destroying angel.
Frank carnality, quite explicit for its time.
Men succumb to her charms, exploit her, blackmail her, ransom her.
Every encounter leaves the males worse.

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First section, set in the hectic theatre world, brilliantly captures the frantic Weimar Republic era.
Narrative shifts from Berlin to the gambling boat to fog cloaked London.
Shocking in its day, film barely seen in the States.
Willful, self-destructive Brooks slipped into decades of oblivion soon afterward.
 

Vultural

Well-known member
Donor
Last Love - 2013 - 6/10

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Michael Caine as recent widower adrift in Paris.
A female passenger on bus sees him, sees that he is lost, terribly bereaved, but not dead.
Their relationship reawakens his interest in life. New hobbies, new classes, new cafes.
Plot felt refried, and Caine couldn’t hold his American (New York) accent for more than a couple beats.
Interesting film, nevertheless, which held my attention throughout.

Scenes you fail to notice until you are older.
We had an uncle who lost his wife of 50+ years.
Like Caine’s character, he was terribly despondent and emotionally shattered.
We visited him several times and always cheered him up. Likewise, my wife’s sister, who brought him out to her sunny home. Everyone lives so far away, though.
There were other factors, of course, there always are. Yet in the end he died of a broken heart.
όλα μόνη της είναι η σπασμένη καρδιά
 

Vultural

Well-known member
Donor
Resurrect Dead: The Mystery Of The Toynbee Tiles - 2011 - 7/10

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Strange documentary of tiles, placed in asphalt streets of dozens of cities, with cryptic message.
Who placed them? Who was Toynbee? What did they have to do with 2001 or Jupiter?
Narrator begins the global hunt for more tiles and tries to penetrate the mystery.
Fascinating story that quickly draws you in and retains interest till the end.
 

Vultural

Well-known member
Donor
Dog Soldiers - 2002 - 6/10

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Claustrophobic actioner finds military squad trapped in seemingly deserted country house.
Besieged by a pack of werewolves! The monsters were all stuffed puppets or cardboard standups.
Howlingly funny at times, and did not take itself too seriously. Government plots offset by dark humor.
Good macho cast anchored by Liam Cunningham, Kevin McKidd, and Sean Pertwee (Why, by the way, is Pertwee not considered for Dr Who?).
Director Neil Marshall would go on to bigger budgeted movies, but none had the heart and humor of this one.
 

Gaith

Well-known member
Faneditor
Vultural said:
Last Love - 2013 - 6/10

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Michael Caine as recent widower adrift in Paris.
A female passenger on bus sees him, sees that he is lost, terribly bereaved, but not dead.
Their relationship reawakens his interest in life. New hobbies, new classes, new cafes.
Plot felt refried, and Caine couldn’t hold his American (New York) accent
:shock: W.T.F.

No. Just. No! :oops:
 

Gaith

Well-known member
Faneditor
Vultural said:
The Trip - 2010 - 6/10

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I had been looking forward to this.
Road trip with Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon, spending a week driving from one hotel & gourmet restaurant to another.
Some food, of course, yet this was more a character study of a fading, almost-star and a regional player.
Throughout, both acted like prats in a pissing contest.
Depressing in a way, as viewers observe Coogan grasping that his youth, and his "moment" have passed.
Funny impersonations of Sean Connery and Michael Caine. Darkly ironic, since Coogan and Brydon are dwarfed by comparison.
Fill your boots, man!
Just finished this, enjoyed it. Thanks for the rec. :)
 

Siebener

Well-known member
Faneditor
Vultural said:
Resurrect Dead: The Mystery Of The Toynbee Tiles - 2011 - 7/10

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Strange documentary of tiles, placed in asphalt streets of dozens of cities, with cryptic message.
Who placed them? Who was Toynbee? What did they have to do with 2001 or Jupiter?
Narrator begins the global hunt for more tiles and tries to penetrate the mystery.
Fascinating story that quickly draws you in and retains interest till the end.

This is one of those documentaries hardly anybody knows about, that I thought was really fascinating. I loved the mystery just as much as how obsessed some people were with those tiles. It was like they were truly looking for some kind of great revelation.
 

Vultural

Well-known member
Donor
Not Quite Hollywood: The Wild, Untold Story of Ozploitation! - 2008 - 3/10 or 8/10

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Great documentary of Australian gonzo, exploitation films from the 70's on. Car crashes, nudity, cheap ripoffs of current hits. These paved the way for Mad Max and top fare of today such as Wolf Creek and Storm Warning. Hosted by Quentin Tarentino.
Grindhouse fans, prepare to enjoy.
Arthouse crowd, run for your lives!
 
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