matrixgrindhouse
Well-known member
- Messages
- 2,397
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"What? What is this?"
These are the words uttered by countless people who've dared to watch Fantasy Mission Force. Delving into Jackie Chan's filmography can be perilous. For every Drunken Master, there's a knockoff Drunken Fist Boxing. For every masterful Snake in Eagle's Shadow, there's a disappointing Snake and Crane Arts of Shaolin. For every Police Story 3 Supercop, there's a "Jackie really just has a cameo" Supercop 2. But there's only one Fantasy Mission Force. Two if you count Fire Dragon, but that's another story.
This is the strangest movie I've ever watched. This is saying a lot. There aren't words in the English language capable of describing what happens in this film. This is the mind-melting sight inside the Monolith, guys. It's at once terrible and wonderful, hilarious and terrifying... and always, always confusing. It isn't safe for human consumption.
[MENTION=24292]TM2YC[/MENTION] managed to create a brilliant distillation of the Star Wars Holiday Special. With his blessing, I set out to do the same for this monstrosity. Condensed to just over twenty minutes, I have not altered any of the scenes beyond their order, duration, and frequency. No speed adjustments. No cropping. No compositing, special effects, masks, no visual alterations. No changes to the music, dialogue or sound effects. This is simply an abridged restructuring of the movie into the drug-like hallucination it can easily be mistaken for. No DVD release, no commentary, no extras. Just a short streaming nightmare. IFDB post pending clarification from the powers that be on one matter.
These are the words uttered by countless people who've dared to watch Fantasy Mission Force. Delving into Jackie Chan's filmography can be perilous. For every Drunken Master, there's a knockoff Drunken Fist Boxing. For every masterful Snake in Eagle's Shadow, there's a disappointing Snake and Crane Arts of Shaolin. For every Police Story 3 Supercop, there's a "Jackie really just has a cameo" Supercop 2. But there's only one Fantasy Mission Force. Two if you count Fire Dragon, but that's another story.
This is the strangest movie I've ever watched. This is saying a lot. There aren't words in the English language capable of describing what happens in this film. This is the mind-melting sight inside the Monolith, guys. It's at once terrible and wonderful, hilarious and terrifying... and always, always confusing. It isn't safe for human consumption.
[MENTION=24292]TM2YC[/MENTION] managed to create a brilliant distillation of the Star Wars Holiday Special. With his blessing, I set out to do the same for this monstrosity. Condensed to just over twenty minutes, I have not altered any of the scenes beyond their order, duration, and frequency. No speed adjustments. No cropping. No compositing, special effects, masks, no visual alterations. No changes to the music, dialogue or sound effects. This is simply an abridged restructuring of the movie into the drug-like hallucination it can easily be mistaken for. No DVD release, no commentary, no extras. Just a short streaming nightmare. IFDB post pending clarification from the powers that be on one matter.
