Rogue One: Where Rebels Dare (TM2YC Fanfix) - Restructure/Less fanservice

I'm not 100% sure yet where I going with this edit but I'm moving beyond just trying out ideas and into the in-the-works phase proper... so time to start a thread.

Initially I'm working on restructuring the opening section as I felt this was the weakest part of R1. It felt disjointed and confused for me. By shifting the order of the scenes (always a bad sign when scenes can be shuffled into almost any order) I think I can improve matters.

Here is my planned restructure of the first 20-25 minutes:

1. Prologue
2. (New) Title sequence
3. First Death Star introduction scene (Tarkin and Krennic discuss threat from defecting pilot)
4. First scene of pilot defecting on Jedha
5. First Cassian scene (He learns of the DS, the defected pilot and Erso involvement)
6. First Jyn Erso scene waking up + Dream/flashback (cut together)
7. Jyn Erso sprung from prison by Cassian, recruited into rebellion and off on mission to get pilot
8. Back to pilot meeting Saw on Jedha
9. Jyn and Cassian arrive on Jedha to get pilot etc

...and how it played in the original cut...

1. Prologue
2. Title sequence
6A. First Jyn Erso scene waking up
5. First Cassian scene (He learns of the DS, the defected pilot and Erso involvement)
4. First scene of pilot defecting on Jedha
7. Jyn Erso sprung from prison by Cassian, recruited into rebellion and off on mission to get pilot
8. Back to pilot meeting Sawon Jedha
3. First Death Star introduction scene (Tarkin and Krennic discuss threat from defecting pilot)
6B. Dream/flashback
9. Jyn and Cassian arrive on Jedha to get pilot

Hopefully it's clear that I'm trying to make the flow of information smoother. Show DS threat and Empire talking about pilot. See pilot they were talking about. Show Rebels talking about DS threat/pilot and how these two elements connect to Jyn. Reintroduce Jyn and the Rebel mission is a go... we do not then start cutting back to dream sequences, or to Imperials.

I've no title for the project yet, so I'm open to suggestions? ("Rogue One: The something Cut" type of thing).

Some other random ideas I'll be pursuing:

- Add traditional SW wipes
- Replace all location titlecards because I don't like the way they look
- Remove a lot of "fanservice" moments that interupt the story. e.g. Vader, the Droids and Walrusman/Dr.
- Possibly restructure ending to more closely match the start of Star Wars.

Here are some test clips (feedback welcome):



(Password: fanedit.org)[/b][/b]

A new transition between first pilot scene and first Cassian scene:


(Password: fanedit.org)

- Rescored
- SoundFX almost entirely replaced
- New title text
- Traditional SW wipe

Working?

Looking forward to this! Rogue One is seriously in need of a restructure.

The traditional swipes and new text looks great. Amazing how much of a difference that sort of thing can make.

The Scribbling Man said:

new text looks great.

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Glad to hear. I can't put my finger on what I didn't like about the original text titles but I hated them .

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I've almost immedialty rethought that last Kafrene wipe. Here it is with the music remixed a little and a different curtain-wipe, so the Jedi statue is on screen for longer and stays the visual focus:


(Password: fanedit.org)

(Edit: I think the new curtain wipe is perhaps too slow?)

Are you set on using title cards?

DigModiFicaTion said:

Are you set on using title cards?

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No, not totally set but if removing them makes the story confusing, then they'll be staying. I'll probably make a judgement after I've restructured the first part and watched it back.

TM2YC said:

I've almost immedialty rethought that last Kafrene wipe.

(Edit: I think the new curtain wipe is perhaps too slow?)

Click to expand...

I think both are fine, but I prefer the diagonal swipe (first one).

While I think your re-ordered scenes make sense, it’s no secret that I think the scenes themselves are unnecessary. This is Jyn’s story and I think the focus should stay with her as much as possible.

Hm, not a fan of putting the movie title inside the Star Wars logo, I'm afraid... but then, I thought the original title was terrific as is.

With the Kafrene title card, if it's to be centered, it seems to me that it should appear immediately after the asteroid passes the camera - maybe even be revealed by the asteroid. Though I'm not sure it's necessary.

I really like the wipe choice from Jedah to Kafrene. The title cards just cry out Star Trek to me.

*Edit*
I think the title cards look nice
They just don't feel Star Wars to me.

It's exciting to see another R1 edit out here, and this seems to be very interesting.

I like the reordered scenes, I think they'll flow better, even if it's at the expense of leaving Jyn, who is supposedly the main character.

The transitions are great, the music and sound fx feel very natural. 

I'm not much of a fan of the title card though, sadly. Maybe you could try using the trailer version?

The planet title cards are great. They look very sci-fi and mysterious.

So far, definitely looking forward to this.

theryaney said:

it's at the expense of leaving Jyn, who is supposedly the main character.

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She's less a main character at that point and more a MacGuffin for the other characters. After the prologue, she's not important again until Cassian learns about her and breaks her out. For me, a big mistake in the original was cutting to her first after the prologue, just to show she's currently doing nothing, with seemingly no relevance or importance to anybody.

Moe_Syzlak said:

While I think your re-ordered scenes make sense, it’s no secret that I think the scenes themselves are unnecessary.

Click to expand...

They all feel important to me, towards building character (something that is lacking already! ). Arguably you could lose the Bodhi scenes and we just meet him when Cassian and Jyn do? But he's an important part of the Rebel ensemble so would leave him even more threadbare. Which scene(s) do you think could go?

Gaith said:

I thought the original title was terrific as is.

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It looked to thin and not chunky '70s to me.

Gaith said:

With the Kafrene title card... it should appear immediately after the asteroid passes the camera - maybe even be revealed by the asteroid.

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Good idea. I think having it actually revealed by the asteroid (with an FX mask) would be too much IMO but I'll try having it appear right after.

Another new Wipe, from Cassian's first scene to a new intro into Jyn on the Wobani prison world:


(Password: fanedit.org)

- Rescored with a short piece that I think better illustrates Cassian's regret at murdering the spy
- Moved dream sequence forward and blended into first Jyn scene asleep in prison cell (plus Wobani establishing shot from later)
- Added repeated Krennic dialogue from prologue (barely audible)
- Blurred first shot of Krennic and added grain, so it matches into second blurred shot. So he does not come into focus until young Jyn looks at him. It should always have been shot like that right?
- Some minor soundFx replacement
- Wobani titlecard redone

The Wobani planet shot is quite short and I'm considering replacing it with something similar but longer from another movie (Marvel perhaps?). Any suggestions would be great .

The muffled chatter in the flashback works well, comes off as something altogether different.

As for the planet shot, maybe use Ego from GOTG2? (the planet form, not the actor, rofl...though that could be a suggestion for a "Ridiculous One" edit )

TM2YC said:

theryaney said:

it's at the expense of leaving Jyn, who is supposedly the main character.

Click to expand...

She's less a main character at that point and more a MacGuffin for the other characters. After the prologue, she's not important again until Cassian learns about her and breaks her out. For me, a big mistake in the original was cutting to her first after the prologue, just to show she's currently doing nothing, with seemingly no relevance or importance to anybody.

Click to expand...

Yeah, that's true. Your way works, and it should flow much better.

TM2YC said:

Another new Wipe, from Cassian's first scene to a new intro into Jyn on the Wobani prison world:

(Password: fanedit.org)

- Rescored with a short piece that I think better illustrates Cassian's regret at murdering the spy
- Moved dream sequence forward and blended into first Jyn scene asleep in prison cell (plus Wobani establishing shot from later)
- Added repeated Krennic dialogue from prologue (barely audible)
- Blurred first shot of Krennic and added grain, so it matches into second blurred shot. So he does not come into focus until young Jyn looks at him. It should always have been shot like that right?
- Some minor soundFx replacement
- Wobani titlecard redone

The Wobani planet shot is quite short and I'm considering replacing it with something similar but longer from another movie (Marvel perhaps?). Any suggestions would be great  

Click to expand...

That looks great as is.

The score piece after Cassian shoots the informant is beautiful and matches very well. The transition to Wobani is smooth, but I don't really like the music extending to the shot of Jyn. Perhaps let it fade as soon as we get to Jyn? 

The flashback is pretty well done and natural, it fits into this part of the story very well.

For replacement Wobani, maybe something from any of the Thor movies or GotG1&2, or heck, one of Dormammu's weird planet shaped thing in the sky from Doctor Strange.

The wipe works, but the long music joined with the short establishing shot of Wobani is jarring, since it sounds off synch.  The fading trumpets seem to be meant for a longer establishing shot and detract from the dream sequence, which works despite the traditional fade not being too much of my liking! 

I agree the shot of Wobani is too short, but I really like it; couldn't it just be slowed down?

TM2YC said:

Moe_Syzlak said:

While I think your re-ordered scenes make sense, it’s no secret that I think the scenes themselves are unnecessary.

Click to expand...

They all feel important to me, towards building character (something that is lacking already! ). Arguably you could lose the Bodhi scenes and we just meet him when 

Click to expand...

It’s your edit, so if you feel it’s necessary to have all the supporting cast have more screen time, by all means go for it. I just disagree. It’s Jyn’s (and the Erso family’s) story to me. I really don’t think you need to know much about any of these supporting characters, even Cassian. All we really need to know is the pilot defected to help Jyn’s father. All we really need to know about Cassian is he is a Rebel that has struggled with the means to the end. We learn those things later  without needless exposition at the beginning. If you keep the focus on Jyn’s story those characters are not really that important. They are characters she meets over a very short part of her life. Arguably Saw is more important to develop than Cassian. It’s too bad his scenes are so horrible. But again, Digmodification’s edit does what I wanted out of a Rogue One edit so something new I’m sure would be appreciated by others. I’m just giving my two cents since you asked. 

theryaney said:

For replacement Wobani, maybe something from any of the Thor movies or GotG1&2, or heck, one of Dormammu's weird planet shaped thing in the sky from Doctor Strange.

Click to expand...

My first thought was GOTG then I remembered they have large text across them already and often have some funky camera moves. Nothing springs to mind from the Thor movies but maybe there is something there. The best bet might be the nu-Trek films? Ideally I don't want to use something that's already from SW.

Gaith said:

I agree the shot of Wobani is too short, but I really like it; couldn't it just be slowed down?

Click to expand...

Worth a try but I suspect you'd be able to tell.

Moe_Syzlak said:

Jyn’s (and the Erso family’s) story to me. I really don’t think you need to know much about any of these supporting characters, even Cassian.

Click to expand...

As you say, it's down to personal taste but I don't think I could have Jyn and Cassian share a meaningful death scene together at the end of the movie and not think he's important enough to setup at the start of the movie. I totally agree that Saw was perhaps the most underdeveloped. We needed one scene of younger not-crazy Saw with young Jyn, to understand how he's changed and their relationship.

Gaith said:

I agree the shot of Wobani is too short, but I really like it; couldn't it just be slowed down?

Click to expand...

You were right!   I used the frame-interpolation filter in virtual-dub to slow it down 25% and looks just fine.

Here is the updated version of the Wobani wipe:


(Password: fanedit.org)

- Extended Wobani planet shot
- Added extra internal Prison establishing shot between planet and Jyn sleeping
- Added more Stormtrooper background chatter
- Remixed audio throughout