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A few reviews

TM2YC

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The Assassin (2015)
As soon as I saw the trailer for Hou Hsiao-hsien's 'The Assassin' back in 2015 I bought the blu-ray. That misleading marketing promotes it as a sumptuous 'Hero'/'Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon' style art-house action Wuxia film (and stars Chang Chen from the latter), plus it's in the 4:3 ratio I love. I got about 20-minutes into it but was so bored I never got round to finishing it until today. I know what to expect from Hou Hsiao-hsien by now, like no exposition, long, long, long shots of seemingly inconsequential things e.g. he spends several minutes showing servants carefully preparing a bath in silence for the protagonist, only to show her in the bath for 3-seconds. The trailer and the Wikipedia synposis were helpful in understanding the convoluted political-intrigue plot. The costumes, props, buildings and cinematography are so beautiful and richly detailed that they're almost enough to make this otherwise dull film worth watching. The bagpipe raveup end title music ('Rohan' by Bagad Men Ha Tan & Doudou N'diaye Rose) was the best bit, it woke me up and got my toes tapping.


This is a banger!

 

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Shutter Island (2010)
As someone who loves to try and solve a mystery film, finding out that there isn't really a solution at the end is deeply unsatisfactory, so I had a similar lukewarm reaction to this, as I originally did to 'Memento'. Unlike with 'Memento' which improves on multiple viewings, 'Shutter Island' didn't improve on this re-watch. Although the mystery didn't interest me now because I knew it was a sham from the get-go, I instead enjoyed seeing how the sham played out and spotting the deliberate continuity mistakes and reverse photography. The fantasy/dream sequences are stunning to look at. Leonardo DiCaprio's shattered performance in the finale is probably the best thing he's ever done. I think I'd rate this a lot higher if it was 90-minutes, in three clear acts, the standard noir mystery setup, the trippy crumbling of reality and then the conclusion (I wouldn't cut a frame from that). Spending nearly 2-hours on just yanking the audience's chain is too much, even if Martin Scorsese gives you some wonderful scenes to look at while your time is being wasted.

By the way, the recently late Robbie Robertson's soundtrack impressively crafts a new score out of existing pieces of music. If you don't recognise the pieces, you'd never tell it wasn't one cohesive whole.

 

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True Lies (1994)
I hadn't watched this in ages, partly because I watched it so much in the 90s that I knew every frame and partly because I kept waiting for it to be finally remastered. What looked like a waxy DVD upscale was on Disney+ but I needed that high-octane action entertainment so I watched it anyway. As amusing and charismatic as Arnold Schwarzenegger is in the lead, I can't help wondering if a better actor, or an actor who looked in any way believable as a boring salesman, could've done more with the role. In a mostly perfect movie, with a perfectly cast Jamie Lee Curtis next to him, Arnie is noticeably just short of perfect. Art Malik does a terrific job of somehow making his antagonist really threatening, while taking the absolute p*ss out of his pomposity. James Cameron directs the action scenes, small and enormous, with such skill and precision. The topper is that shot where Harry pulls Helen out of the falling Limo. It's edited to perfection, shot at the perfect speed, from the perfect angle, with a perfect musical flourish from Brad Fiedel. The lead up to that moment is so brilliantly put together that I still felt worried she wasn't going to make it on this millionth watch. The Harrier jump jet action sequence is insanely good.

The economy of Cameron's visual story telling is a marvel (e.g. Gib holding up Harry's ring in an early shot, instantly tells us that 1. Harry is married, 2. He's not paying enough attention to his marriage and 3. That Gib and Harry have a long held, honed and trusted working relationship. Gib understands his flaws but has his back. But there is a final bum note, visual story telling wise, where we get one quick last shot of Dana. She's no longer in grunge Doc Martens, ripped jeans and flannel shirts, she's now dressed like she just got back from Bible studies in the 1950s, which does show us instantly, without words, that the Dana relationship with her parents is fixed, because they respect each other and she respects them... but it is possible to like alternative music and still be a well adjusted kid. It was too much for me. Also Charlton Heston's performance as the growling, eye patch wearing, brilliantly named "Spencer Trilby" (this film's 'M') is so amazing that I was disappointed with how little time he's on screen. 'True Lies' should be on some sort of short list called "When great Directors couldn't direct a Bond movie... so they made their own answer to the Bond formula, in their own unique way", also including 'Raiders of the Lost Ark' and 'The Dark Knight' (or other Nolan movies). We're still waiting for Tarantino to do his Bond-style movie.

A 35mm scan of the trailer:

 

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The Lost World: Jurassic Park (1997)
'The Lost World'
isn't a terrible film but the army of talent in front of and behind the camera wasting so much effort on making what is plainly a botched script is infuriating. You can tell it's gone through re-write, after re-write, to add ideas, take out ideas, fix script problems and then to fix the problems that the fixes created and so on. It's got too many characters, left over from abandoned ideas, who clutter the narrative and have no time to properly develop. I don't believe writer David Koepp didn't know how nonsensical the T-Rex "ghost ship" was, he just didn't care by that point. What they needed to do was throw Koepp's script on the fire, get a new writer, hand him Michael Crichton's book (which I read when it came out) and see if they could do better. A thing I'd not noticed before that really felt off was Eddie's death. In the original film everybody who dies "deserves it" on some level in the audience's mind (with the exception of Samuel L. Jackson but he dies unseen by us). Either because they are bad, or fail to show proper respect for the power of nature (or both). But the nice Eddie dies saving a family and is gratuitously ripped limb from limb center frame in a way were supposed to revel in. I'd forgotten, or was unaware of, that the Indian hunter character Ajay is a white actor in "brown-face". Astonishing that even in 1997 everybody from Spielberg down still thought that was acceptable. You're frickin Spielberg, you did 'Temple of Doom' with world famous Indian actors like Roshan Seth and you're telling me that every actor in Bollywood was too busy to pick up the phone to you in 1997? On the plus side, Jeff Goldblum gives his all and delivers some terrific one liners and the late-great Pete Postlethwaite manages to make his thinly written hunter character genuinely interesting.

 
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The Abyss (1989)
Like with 'True Lies', I gave up waiting for an official HD release of 'The Abyss' and watched an open-matte HDTV capture of the extended "Special Edition" cut. When I watched this back in the early 90s (on TV, or a VHS rental) it think it must've been the theatrical cut because although I remembered much of this movie as clear as day, I did not recall the "Cuban missile crisis" style cold war subplot (which I believe is a 1993 addition). This is James Cameron, so 'The Abyss' is never less than spectacular but I don't think it all works together. It's like a much less stupid Michael Bay movie, with the drilling crew from 'Armageddon' and two of the cast of 'The Rock', which is trying to be '2001: An Ocean Odyssey' (and a bit of 'Contact' too). The interesting threat from HAL is replaced with a more mundane human military antagonist, although Michael Biehn plays it very well. The FX (a mixture of early CGI and oldskool models) holds up pretty well. I never realised the scene of the rat breathing pink fluorocarbon liquid was done for real and the technology wasn't just some cool BS they made up for the movie.


^ Love that they used the beautiful theme from 'Starman' in this trailer... and I notice they appear to have tried to subliminally make us associate this with 2001 by having footage that looks to have been nabbed from the stargate sequence playing under the title.
 

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A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child (1989)
Another step down in quality from Part 3. It passes 90-minutes well enough and as always, has some wonderfully creative and impressive FX but I can't even remember what the story was, or who the characters were and I just watched it. The logic around the dream deaths has become increasingly vague e.g. Freddy "kills" a guy who is driving at night but to do so the guy had to have fallen asleep at the wheel, so I'm not sure how much blame we can really apportion to Freddy when the vehicle crashes. The scenes depicting the mended relationship between Alice and her recovering alcoholic dad from the last movie has real heart. I was obsessed by M.C. Escher as a kid, so the Escher-style finale was neat.

 

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While I appreciate some of the things about the 1982 Sci-Fi film Blade Runner, in all honesty I don't get the love for it. I will respect opinions but here's mine: As a fan editor the film has quite a bit of material that could be cut, not just to reduce inappropriate content but also to just tighten the film. There's so many scenes where I'm like what the heck??

I do really like the cinematography and score and even the performances but, the story is just not high on my list. I would much rather watch one of Scott's later films, even Exodus Gods & Kings which I as a religious believe think is a disgrace would rather re-watch and make sense of. Blade Runner is just a mess. Further note: NO I will not be re-editing the film as while I think I know what I'd cut, I'd have to see the material I disliked to do so but for people who want to, you can ask me what I didn't like.

I think for what it is, it's a honest 4/10, not anyones fault apart from the writing, to me it's just a bleak depressing and violent sci-fi film that I will rarely revisit.

NOTE: I did watch the final cut, maybe the theatrical would've made it less confusing but idk I'm not about to sit through the terrible narration.
 

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Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare (1991)
A post-apocalyptic near-future Springwood (where Freddy was the apocalypse) is an unfathomably odd idea to start this script with and it doesn't get better from there. There was almost a good simple idea buried in here: a halfway home filled with traumatised kids who have all had abusive parents, who were almost as bad as Freddy, something he can exploit in their nightmares. Probably the overall worst acting in the series, not helped by having to deliver bad dialogue. Robert Englund is extremely tiresome as Freddy in this one, he seems to have been directed to fill every pause between his not-funny quips with going "Ah hah ha!". His laughing got to be like a knife-glove on a blackboard.

 

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Wes Craven's New Nightmare (1994)
I'd heard this was good but I was not expecting it to be total genius (after some of the earlier entries in the series). Heather Langenkamp wasn't that convincing in 'Dream Warriors' but 7-years later and playing a (barely)fictionalised version of herself, she's terrific! The other people playing versions of themselves are believable too, like Robert Shaye, Wes Craven and Robert Englund. During the prologue I was worried that constantly undercutting the threat with the possibility of it being a dream and/or just a movie would take me out of the film but it soon makes it scarier. Because Langenkamp is terrorised in the "real world" by earthquakes, family tragedies, a disturbed child, a stalker and unsympathetic doctors, as much as by Freddy's nightmare world. There are layers of 'The Omen' and 'Hansel and Gretel, as well as the whole meta Elm Street angle to tickle the brain. Quality wise 'New Nightmare' stands on it's own as fantastic phycological horror but I doubt it'd fully work for viewers if you haven't watched the preceding 6-films first (or at least 1, 3 & 6). One nitpick would be the finale, it's just gothic Freddy world (which I suppose is the point of Langenkamp surrendering to the fiction), but I was looking for another meta angle on it. Like Freddy being a gore FX artist and Langenkamp has to fight him on a movie set, using pyrotechnics. Something like that? 'New Nightmare' is often called "Scream before Scream" but it's much better than that. 'Scream' just pokes fun at and plays with slasher tropes, 'New Nightmare' gets deep into deconstructing the disturbing fears which underpin the genre.


^ Very cool trailer.
 

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Hugo (2011)
Curiosity about revisiting this atypical Martin Scorsese film finally prompted me to read the copy of Brian Selznick's 'The Invention of Hugo Cabret' book which I've had sitting around since it was first published. I always felt the 'Hugo' film didn't quite work as well as it should, despite some truly magical moments but I couldn't really pinpoint why. Re-watching directly after turning the last page makes it clear that every bit of the film that doesn't work is where the script deviates from the book. The book has quite a serious tone, focusing on tragedy and trauma but although the film has those elements, they are subsumed by a light comedy/fantasy tone. Sacha Baron Cohen's Station Inspector being like a broken clockwork man is a terrific idea in concept but devoting about a third of the film to him doing a silly voice really derails things (pun intended). His character has about two lines at the end of the book and is only somebody we're told exists before that. Chloë Grace Moretz's Isabelle is relegated to little more than being somebody to stand there asking Hugo questions so the plot can be explained. In the book it's her with the lock picking skills, not Hugo and her that does much of the film history research. The film would be instantly improved by making it black and white, only shifting to colour when we are in dreams or in tinted silent films. Robert Richardson's Cinematography and lighting are gorgeous but it makes every shot look like heightened fantasy for what should've been fairly grounded. Ben Kingsley is magnificent but I don't like Asa Butterfield's acting style and he doesn't have much spark with Moretz. The good bits of 'Hugo' still outweigh the problems though.


The book is well worth a read.

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brian_selznick_the_invention_o_1616819515_bb3f971d_progressive.jpg


I loved the page at the back dedicated to describing the period appopriate font choices.
 

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Shutter Island (2010)
As someone who loves to try and solve a mystery film, finding out that there isn't really a solution at the end is deeply unsatisfactory, so I had a similar lukewarm reaction to this, as I originally did to 'Memento'.
I guess I can understand reacting negatively to feeling 'duped', but I actually loved both of these because there were hints along the way. For me, a film like The Thin Man, for example, sucks as a mystery because there is a mystery to solve, but the film withholds the evidence you would need to solve it literally until the dinner party accusation finale. Whereas in both Memento and Shutter Island, there are hints as you go that things aren't matching up. You know (or have the opportunity to know) that the premise is faulty, so as a viewer, you realize that won't have the typical "X is the murderer!" old mystery resolution. This film in particular reminded me of a couple old Sherlock Holmes stories where he's given a premise at the start, e.g. "the victim was killed in this room but no one entered or left" and during the course of the story he discovers that the premise is wrong (the victim had been killed via poison before even entering the house). That's how I enjoy these films anyway.
 

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Freddy vs. Jason (2003)
Not perfect but far better than a "development hell" money-induced mashup of two uneven franchises had any right to be. The setup is ingenious, in that Freddy has been forgotten and left powerless as a consequence, so he brings Jason to Springwood to inevitably start killing teenagers and so make the town scared that Freddy is doing it, thus giving him his fear power back. Unfortunately there are some really dodgy exposition scenes in the middle where the human/mortal characters over explain the premise to each other. I know many were disappointed at the time to not have Kane Hodder playing Jason but I think Ken Kirzinger does the best ever portrayal of the character. Hodder brought a brutal aggression, Kirzinger conveys this sad simple minded compulsion to kill without pleasure. His mummy told him to kill, so that's what he has to do, forever. Robert Englund is back to playing (proper) Freddy right, after his awful comedy performance in 'Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare', he's scary and wickedly sadistic. I guess a lot of people wanted to see this movie for the royal rumble between the two slashers but that was the least interesting part for me.

 

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The Irishman (2019)
I was hoping the de-aging would look better on the 50GB Criterion blu-ray disc, than it did when compressed for the original Netlfix stream, and it does but it still looks odd. After seeing Sigourney Weaver play herself as a teenager in 'Avatar: The Way of Water' with 100% natural believability in her movements, vocal tone and facial expressions, I've got to place some of the blame on Robert De Niro and Al Pacino (and Martin Scorsese's direction of the both of them) for still acting like old geezers, leaving the FX team with an impossible task. She's only a few years younger than them but was playing a much younger version of herself than they are. With that said, this is a film that's about being old and filled with regrets, as much as it is a gangster saga, so it kinda works. Plus this is such a thoroughly engrossing drama, effortlessly told, that 3.5-hours flows by. Inevitably the slight narrative confusion caused by the wobbly de-aging across multiple time periods and decades was less of an issue on this second viewing, when I was already familiar with the story layout. Wow Joe Pesci is great in this, if you thought young Pesci was great when shouting, screaming and being generally crazy and hilarious, then subtle, cold, calculating, older Pesci is even better.

 

mnkykungfu

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^I'll confess I'm one of the jerks who just can NOT get over the effects used in this. The CG is just an eyesore that makes me feel like I'm half-watching a PS2 game, and I can't get used to it. SO: I wonder if you think AI/deepfake rendering could be used to "fix" this in a fanedit? I'd love to give the film a fair shot and that tech has since been used in some fanedits like the bad de-aging in Obi-Wan Kenobi...
 

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I wonder if you think AI/deepfake rendering could be used to "fix" this in a fanedit?

Probably not for the reasons I stated, there is no amount of CGI that's going to make them not look like elderly actors. However, I think it could be improved for sure. De Niro's eyes look odd. I think they were trying to give them a youthful "Sparkle" and it didn't work. That could be tweaked.

I didn't mention in my review that the Criterion bonus features go into how they made the film. Scorsese only signed off on the project if the CGI wasn't going to get in the way of how he normally directed his actors in any way whatsoever. So the clever tech people had to invent new cameras and techniques to get the tracking info they needed. e.g. invisible tracking dots that the computers could detect but which the actors and film cameras couldn't see. I was impressed with what they achieved given the limitations. Although it wouldn't been better for the film if they'd said "F**k no Marty! What you're asking is impossible", then Scorsese would have just cast some young actors in the early scenes.



A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)
This remake has a bad rep and my recent watch of the dreadful (also) Michael Bay produced 2009 'Friday the 13th' remake had my expectations at rock bottom. So I was pleasantly surprised that this had some positives. If you're looking for technically imaginative and visually freaky dream kills and Freddy having fun doing them, then you're gonna hate this (to be fair those are key elements of the original franchise). The often excellent Jackie Earle Haley's portrayal of Freddy is surprisingly bland. But the teenager characters are written with more depth, and with edgy actors like Kyle Gallner, they are better performed than in any of the classic films. Plus the way darker twists on the mythology are psychologically interesting. This Freddy is far too sadistic and unpleasant to laugh at, or laugh with. He's more threatening but less entertaining.

 

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The Adventures of Tintin (2011)
When Steven Spielberg and Peter Jackson's Tintin is working, it really works but unfortunately that's not the majority of the time. It's difficult to concentrate on pinning down the exact problems because most of time I'm just staring at the "uncanny valley" effect of this fusion of 100% photo realism and cartoony animation. Mostly it's the face of Tintin himself, it's too close to real and too close to actor Jamie Bell. Andy Serkis' Cpt. Haddock works mostly because he looks much more cartoony and not like the real Serkis. It features one of John Williams' blander scores, the only times when it hits is when you think "This kinda reminds me of a good bit from Raiders". The script/plot by comedy/Sci-Fi writers Steven Moffat, Edgar Wright and Joe Cornish is the best element, rolling three Tintin stories into one seamless adventure mystery. Despite some problems I would still have been up for the long promised sequels but 12-years later, I'm not holding my breath.

 

mnkykungfu

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Probably not for the reasons I stated, there is no amount of CGI that's going to make them not look like elderly actors. However, I think it could be improved for sure. De Niro's eyes look odd. I think they were trying to give them a youthful "Sparkle" and it didn't work. That could be tweaked.

I didn't mention in my review that the Criterion bonus features go into how they made the film. Scorsese only signed off on the project if the CGI wasn't going to get in the way of how he normally directed his actors in any way whatsoever. So the clever tech people had to invent new cameras and techniques to get the tracking info they needed. e.g. invisible tracking dots that the computers could detect but which the actors and film cameras couldn't see. I was impressed with what they achieved given the limitations. Although it wouldn't been better for the film if they'd said "F**k no Marty! What you're asking is impossible", then Scorsese would have just cast some young actors in the early scenes.

Hmm...everything you're saying tracks. The bits of the film I've seen sound like Scorsese told the actors "Perform this exactly as you normally would, don't try to 'act' young, we'll fix it in post" and then they completely did not fix it in post. I know those guys are good enough actors that they could have moved and spoken younger in short bursts at least. I hate to say it, but I think this is a case of an older director not having a handle on the newer film techniques and what is possible (and isn't). Kind of like Lucas thinking green screen in the prequels would allow him to just make everything like he wanted in post, neglecting that it impacted the actual performances and that for some people, the CG characters were going to be a constant barrier while they were watching. The Irishman is my Episode I to Scorsese's earlier films. (Except I found a lot to love in Episode I.)
 

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The bits of the film I've seen sound like Scorsese told the actors "Perform this exactly as you normally would, don't try to 'act' young, we'll fix it in post" and then they completely did not fix it in post. I know those guys are good enough actors that they could have moved and spoken younger in short bursts at least.

It is shown in one brief bit of the behind the scenes. Where Scorsese is telling Pacino (I think) that he's getting out of a chair laboriously like an old man and he needs to move quicker because "You're supposed to be 43 in this scene" or something. But I don't think Scorsese or his actors took that issue with enough seriousness.

I think this is a case of an older director not having a handle on the newer film techniques and what is possible (and isn't).

Yeah I think a lot of it's that. Although a lot of younger directors also don't seem to understand that if you give the CGI people a massive task, they'll get it done but it's not going to come out as well as if you'd given them something manageable. But I suppose they can't all be James Cameron who started in FX work so knows what's possible for the FX team and what he needs to do in preparation to help them achieve it. Nolan and Villenueve seem to get it, do as much in camera as you can, then the FX guys can concentrate on less shots.

Most de-aging scenes in movies are for a short period, a flashback or something and even then the technology still isn't there where it fully works. In the 'The Irishman' they are using de-aging for the majority of a 3.5-hr movie, on up to three actors in the same scene (with big technical constraints). So it's a feat of utter technical genius to have got it looking at least as good as de-aging looks in most other movies. It would've still been better to have not done it.

The scenes with young actors in another gangster epic 'Once Upon a Time in America' (also featuring De Niro and Pesci) are some of the best bits. I wish Scorsese had just done that. It would've been a lot cheaper for one thing!
 
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The Adventures of Tintin (2011)
When Steven Spielberg and Peter Jackson's Tintin is working, it really works but unfortunately that's not the majority of the time. It's difficult to concentrate on pinning down the exact problems because most of time I'm just staring at the "uncanny valley" effect of this fusion of 100% photo realism and cartoony animation. Mostly it's the face of Tintin himself, it's too close to real and too close to actor Jamie Bell. Andy Serkis' Cpt. Haddock works mostly because he looks much more cartoony and not like the real Serkis. It features one of John Williams' blander scores, the only times when it hits is when you think "This kinda reminds me of a good bit from Raiders". The script/plot by comedy/Sci-Fi writers Steven Moffat, Edgar Wright and Joe Cornish is the best element, rolling three Tintin stories into one seamless adventure mystery. Despite some problems I would still have been up for the long promised sequels but 12-years later, I'm not holding my breath.


As a Tintin fan growing up, to be able to see a Tintin film on the big screen with Spielberg behind it and a Williams score, well I was very forgiving for anything that didn't quite work. I still love this movie despite something just not fully clicking, but yeah the writing to bridge 3 stories together and shout outs to others was great.

It saddens me that there is little to no hope of sequels to come and I'm really hoping it'll be revived elsewhere.

I saw recently that Kino has released the live action Tintin and the Golden Fleece and Tintin and the Blue Oranges on a bluray 2 pack. I don't know how good those films are, but as I said, when it comes to seeing Tintin media, I am forgiving just to go on some fun adventures and feel like a kid again waking up at 5:30am to catch Tintin on Nickelodeon.
 

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As a Tintin fan growing up, to be able to see a Tintin film on the big screen with Spielberg behind it and a Williams score, well I was very forgiving for anything that didn't quite work. I still love this movie despite something just not fully clicking, but yeah the writing to bridge 3 stories together and shout outs to others was great.

It saddens me that there is little to no hope of sequels to come and I'm really hoping it'll be revived elsewhere.

I saw recently that Kino has released the live action Tintin and the Golden Fleece and Tintin and the Blue Oranges on a bluray 2 pack. I don't know how good those films are, but as I said, when it comes to seeing Tintin media, I am forgiving just to go on some fun adventures and feel like a kid again waking up at 5:30am to catch Tintin on Nickelodeon.

A Tintin fanedit should replace the credits music with this:


It syncs quite well, I tried it years ago.
 
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