Just got hit with a bomb of transphobic ranting from my grandfather who l'm currently staying with. I just nodded and went along with it until he was done, and then escaped to my room where l'm now crying and trembling. I knew his views and whatnot, but l thought he would at least keep this shit to himself. It's like l'm back to 2019 when l had to leave home after a big fight with my mom's boyfriend. I can't do this again, l don't have anywhere else to run to now. I'm so uncomfortable right now. "Jacob you were born as, and Jacob you will always be to me." "When l was just seeing you guys once in a while l was like okay, l'll go along with this. I believe in tn each their own, but not when you're staying with me and expect me to treat you different" "l grew up with male and female, he and she, not they and them, that's all made up. It's hard to get through to the younger generation about that."
He has complained to my mom who has then relayed to me, that l'm always in my room and never leave, and that l'm living there rent free so l should at least clean around the house, do dishes and sweep and whatnot. Understandable, so today while he was out l took the time to wash some dishes. And he happened to come home while l was out of my room, and decided then that he would talk to me himself about picking up around the house, in his typical passive aggressive way. And that's when it devolved into the above bullshit.
Now, why have l been spending all my time in my room? Because dealing with people terrifies me, especially dealling with my grandfather. He's tall, in his early 60's, very loud, has a bad temper, is always grumpy, and has been arrested on multiple occasions for some sort of drunken violence, l don't know the specifics. So the idea of leaving my room and risking him seeing me and trying to talk to me is frightening. I haven't been eating as much as l should because l don't want to risk crossing paths with him, even though I know l should be grateful for him giving me a place to stay.
well after today l see myself leaving my room even less than l have been. I tried doing what he wanted and things are just worse for it, so no more of that.
My stepmother's dad had the same views and everything as my grandfather, but he at least used my name and never tried to invalidate who l am, because to him family always came first.
Now, these forums are my only solace, so if anyone here has a problem with me then please keep it to yourself, l can't deal with more of that right now.