Wow, I have to thank
@Malthus for pointing me to this edit, because it looks fantastic! Without getting into specifics, I've always thought that whatever quibbles I had with the film, it wasn't really for me (as a dude) to dwell on. There are enough films aimed square at me that if there are a lot of ladies standing up talking about how scenes resonated for them, maybe it's just best to say "cool, this one's for you then." Every film doesn't have to be targeted at every single person.
That said, the changes you propose are SO much of the very issues I had with the movie, and I'm happy it occurred to
you to make the edit. It's not a bad film, but the details you've highlighted were definite sticking points to me that kept it from being one of the MCU "greats", despite the hype...
Thanks to some guidance from
VERsingthegamez , I have decided on a emotional payoff for the film. since the intended emotional payoff really doesn't work for me in this film, I will replace it.
Currently, the film wants to say " you have been held back and pushed down, but if you get angry enough, you can overcome it" .
I want to make the new message " if you allow yourself to feel love, you can unlock great strength within".
My reasons for this are the continuing message from yon rogg that Carol is too emotional. even though she hardly shows any. my feeling is, the small amount of emotion she shows, interferes with their control. fair enough. so what would overcome their control more? more emotion? The thing I dislike about her is how she seem unnecessarily nasty to Fury. so I want to instead try to accentuate her growing relationship with him. also her relationship with Monica, Maria and Talos and his family. After all, Goose shows family connections in this movie quite well, it's a recurring theme there.
I want to take this and accentuate it, by completely replacing the montage where she is breaking free of their control.
instead of a montage of just Carol, repeatedly getting up, I want to instead create a montage of how her emotional connections have grown between her and her friends. That will be the implied reason behind her overcoming her restrictions.
I love love LOVE your idea for how to make the theme of the movie more powerful. You're so completely right that the dialogue was at several points at odds with itself over whether more emotion or not enough emotion was the issue; and the emotions they dwelled on seemed to be anger and pride. The message you're focusing on, of love and connection, is not only a much better foil to the Kree Empire, but a much more resonant message for viewers I would think. At least, it is for me. (And I watched your preview and LOVE the montage...you nailed it! I would just ask if there's any way to stretch the music slightly longer or turn up the volume at the end? It gets a bit too quiet as the Supreme Intelligence is challenging her I think...I'd like for the music to still be going, and only cut out when she announces that she's Carol. Then: music back full force! Stand up! Triumph!)
Very interesting approach. Potentially you could look through other Brie Larson movies and replace all her developmental flashes with gentle, loving moments from those other films "from her life before the event".
If you're still considering pulling for any flashbacks or inserts,
@tremault , I'd just suggest to look in Larson's films
after this one. She worked out so much for this that her face got leaner and her body stands and moves differently than it did in the films before it. It's very noticeable, to me anyway.
Thanks ^_^
So, the bit where They fly up into space and carol and maria look at each other and smile... it lacked emotional weight for me... so I have inserted this clip shortly beforehand.
I'm not sure if it works. since I think the clip should cut to carol's face. but carol starts talking before the original cut happens. so I'm not sure how to approach this.
EDIT: never mind I think I got it. a bit of creative splicing with some other shots, removed the fluff dialogue and repositioned that clip. I'll edit this in a moment with the newer clip so you know what I'm blabbering on about. XD
EDIT 2:
Okay, here it is, I think it works a lot better.
I watched Edit 2 and I like the vision of it, but I wonder what the flashback has to do with the present moment? I'm not sure if I'm missing something, but it's not like they were talking about wanting to go into space or something, so I'm not sure what the specific relevance is beyond featuring the same characters...?
Thank you, I appreciate all that you said and I agree. Eye thing, I'll see what I can do there. Shield thing, that should be an easy fix.
About the music... having worked on this project quite a bit more now, I Think it may be okay to consider a non female vocalist for this scene, or a song with a different tempo. I mean I was thinking how mental it would Be if I used "you got the touch" from transformers movie XD. I'm open to suggestions though. Earlier would be better, considering these skrull have been stuck on this ship for a few years, and so mid 90s music is a bit of an anachronism. I also think a song that emphasises love for friends,or helping loved ones, might be more apt.
"You've Got The Touch (The Power)" is an amazing track, but for some people falls into that "I'm Just a Girl" territory of being on-the-nose and overly-iconic. Am I wrong in that all the music in the film is '90s? Also, are you considering replacing any other tracks?
I took a look at Hole. The one from hte credits didn't feel right to me, but I did find this one which feels quite appropriate. since this part of the movie is essentially about a 'breakup' between carol and yogg ron/ supreme intelligence
Thanks for the offer of the comic books. I'm not sure what I could take from them to be honest. I mean I get it's the source material, but I'd have to read all of them and then consider the movie and if there's anything I can do with it. I'd be happy for your input though. I'm not dumb enough to think my 'finished edit' will be the final version. I want to give people the chance to watch it, give any feedback, and then I can finalise it. so if you have any ideas, I would love to hear them.
"Violet" is an awesome track, totally fits. Though it's pretty raging, and there are several bits of humor in the big Starforce confrontation.... Minerva shooting the Nerf gun, Atlas tries to crush her with the pinball machine but the legs just support it because the joke is those got abused all the time, the lunchbox, the Flerkin... not sure if the comedic moments fit the mood, especially for what should be a triumphant confrontation of the people who were lying to, manipulating, and in a sense, grooming Carol.
Fury's eye being played for a joke never sat well with me either, but there's no avoiding it in this film. "Clawed out by an alien" actually isn't a bad origin, it's seeing the teeny harmless scratch that makes it a joke. Maybe if it happened off screen and we just hear him yell and a roar/hiss? Possibly showing a hallway shot or something at that moment?
Anyway, this looks like a potential shelf-replacer for me, I really applaud you for the thought and work put in so far. When you make your next revisions and have a (potentially) final version, sign me up to preview!